Lifetime Experiences That Change Your Life

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 11:55 am

In our lives we encounter many experiences that changes our lives forever.I dont mean meeting a future partner I mean maybe a spiritual one or something that happens and when you look back you think......did that really happen to me?;)

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:07 pm

Like almost dying when giving birth to a still-born....yes I'd say life changing.

Nice thread Carolly:-6 :-4

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:11 pm

WonderWendy3;591860 wrote: Like almost dying when giving birth to a still-born....yes I'd say life changing.

Nice thread Carolly:-6 :-4Thanks Wendy. So sorry to hear what you went through love and it must have been awful for you ((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:18 pm

Carolly;591861 wrote: Thanks Wendy. So sorry to hear what you went through love and it must have been awful for you ((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))

Thank you Carolly, it was almost 14 years ago on Mother's day....of all days. I will never forget it, that is for sure and my love for children is as strong as ever...I truly understand what a miracle Birth of a healthy baby is.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:19 pm

WonderWendy3;591860 wrote: Like almost dying when giving birth to a still-born....yes I'd say life changing.

Nice thread Carolly :-4

sorry ww i know how hard that is to bare ,well done for coming through all your grief a wonderfull kind warm person :-6

my daughter natasha dying ,chantelle going away for 11 years ,my brothers casey and martin dying ,my cousin sam being murdered ,and finding chantelle her coming back into my life all these things have really changed my life big time

and you guys on fg ,with your support and kindness i feel human again ,thanks to all of you :-4 :-4

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:20 pm

Parents divorce, death of my Mum when she was 40 years, meeting my husband and the birth of my 2 wonderful children. Some nice, some not so - but they all had a big impact on my life and my understanding of life.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:45 pm

WonderWendy3;591865 wrote: Thank you Carolly, it was almost 14 years ago on Mother's day....of all days. I will never forget it, that is for sure and my love for children is as strong as ever...I truly understand what a miracle Birth of a healthy baby is.
Wendy you went through something that will be with you forever but you now know what a true miracle is hun........a healthy baby.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:47 pm

giving a child up for adoption

the birth of my 2 daughters

the senseless death of my dearest friend at the age of 32

the loss of both my grandparents within 4 months of each other

mother being diagnosed with and surviving (so far) breast cancer

re-uniting with my oldest bestest bud

divorce

A trip to the UK to meet some awesomely cool FG people

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:49 pm

jimbo;591866 wrote: sorry ww i know how hard that is to bare ,well done for coming through all your grief a wonderfull kind warm person

my daughter natasha dying ,chantelle going away for 11 years ,my brothers casey and martin dying ,my cousin sam being murdered ,and finding chantelle her coming back into my life all these things have really changed my life big time

and you guys on fg ,with your support and kindness i feel human again ,thanks to all of you :-4

You Sir, are a testimony to "keep your chin up". I know all that you've been through has been hard. You are a blessing and I'm thankful you are here in the Garden. :-6 :-4

My Husband of 15 years plus leaving me 4 years ago was Life changing also...but for the good, it's been tough raising 3 boys on my own, but I'm thankful for all that I've been through, to appreciate Life to it's fullest!:-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:51 pm

WonderWendy3;591883 wrote: You Sir, are a testimony to "keep your chin up". I know all that you've been through has been hard. You are a blessing and I'm thankful you are here in the Garden. :-6 :-4

My Husband of 15 years plus leaving me 4 years ago was Life changing also...but for the good, it's been tough raising 3 boys on my own, but I'm thankful for all that I've been through, to appreciate Life to it's fullest!:-4

Oiy WW been there too, after 17 years of marriage we split, I was left to raise the girls.

Oiy another to add to my list that REALLY changed my life....

sending my oldest daughter packing yes kicking her out.... that changed us both.

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:52 pm

Raised by an alcoholic

Recovery from substance addiction

Birth of two beautiful boys

Two Marriages

Exposed to Iraqi Sarin Nerve Agent (now my right leg hurts all the time):-1

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:10 pm

WonderWendy3;591883 wrote: You Sir, are a testimony to "keep your chin up". I know all that you've been through has been hard. You are a blessing and I'm thankful you are here in the Garden. :-6

My Husband of 15 years plus leaving me 4 years ago was Life changing also...but for the good, it's been tough raising 3 boys on my own, but I'm thankful for all that I've been through, to appreciate Life to it's fullest!

minks;591879 wrote: giving a child up for adoption

the birth of my 2 daughters

the senseless death of my dearest friend at the age of 32

the loss of both my grandparents within 4 months of each other

mother being diagnosed with and surviving (so far) breast cancer

re-uniting with my oldest bestest bud

divorce

A trip to the UK to meet some awesomely cool FG people

zinkyusa;591890 wrote: Raised by an alcoholic

Recovery from substance addiction

Birth of two beautiful boys

Two Marriages

Exposed to Iraqi Sarin Nerve Agent (now my right leg hurts all the time):-1

you guys inspire me i think if you guys can come through all you have and still be wonderfull kind people then maybe i can too ,thanks buddy's :-6 :-6

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:15 pm

jimbo;591922 wrote: you guys inspire me i think if you guys can come through all you have and still be wonderfull kind people then maybe i can too ,thanks buddy's :-6 :-6

Jimbo you do your fine share of inspiring too mate.

It's amazing what you can do when you are faced with lifes crap, you have 2 choices sink or swim....

I never ever ever in my younger ages would have thought I would have had to face all that I have so far... I truly believed I lived the perfect life hah! Funny what happens when we mature...

Gosh this reminds me of my last Life curveball too, my dad having his heart attack. WOW now that was an eye opener.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:24 pm

minks;591925 wrote: Jimbo you do your fine share of inspiring too mate.

It's amazing what you can do when you are faced with lifes crap, you have 2 choices sink or swim....

I never ever ever in my younger ages would have thought I would have had to face all that I have so far... I truly believed I lived the perfect life hah! Funny what happens when we mature...

Gosh this reminds me of my last Life curveball too, my dad having his heart attack. WOW now that was an eye opener.

Wow, Minks, think we were separated at birth!!

I actually wrote in my high school yearbook for my future "Find Prince Charming and live happily ever after" :wah: (not enough laughy dudes in the world for that!!)

I have pretty much raised the boys by myself, he wasn't home when we were married, so wasn't a lot to adjust to when he left, 'cept I had to foot all the bills too...left me pretty much high and dry and un-employed. Thank-fully the house was only in my name, or I would've been homeless...he told me if I fought him for alimony that he would take the house from me, so I dropped it.

My Mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 1996 and my Dad had major heart Surgery 2 years later (tripple by-pass). I look at both of them now in complete amazement. My mom is my best friend and hero! Dad is the shining star in my kid's lives that they needed...and I'm truly blessed through it all.

I admire each and everyone of you here on FG that have shared what you've been through. In a way, you guys are the support group that I've been searching for for a very long time...

Thank you! God Bless:-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:25 pm

I see the makings of an interesting book here gang, kind of like the "chicken soup for the soul" books.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:37 pm

OMG ladies, your stories are touching.

Yes been there too, after 12 months of ugly fighting and lawyer fees, and "his" nasty debt, I was pretty much left with nothing and 2 children, and no job. We in our marriage reached a point where I didn't have to work, and for most of the marriage I threw myself into raising the girls while working, so I was happy to have 5 years of not having to work, then the divorce... wow at this late of an age and being out of work for 5 years what do you get into... no degree either my experience is all self taught. I took the worst job ever for peanuts. And clawed my way to where I am now... I am proud to say, I was "head hunted" for this current job, meaning this company came looking for me. I praise them everyday for what they got me out of.

After 4 years I happily report my girls are thriving, I have my grandson, I love my job and I have been able to have a trip or 2. I will never own my own home again, I rent but I do not care, I can be happy with what i have.

Whew what a brag that was

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:39 pm

Pinky;591935 wrote: God, I know where you're coming from!

I've been left high and dry and had to peddle most of my furniture on ebay at one point just to pay the bills...Ok, I had to sit on the floor for a while but having a roof over your head is more important hey?

As for Prince Charming...well, I'm muppet enough to think he may be out there, but too cynical to think he'd like someone like me.

Pinks I am doing the same still wishing for Prince Charming, but.... ahahahaha I have been with 2 toads (started as prince charmings till I kissed them) thus far what are my chances ahahaha

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:41 pm

hooray for Pinky and Minks!:-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 2:44 pm

chonsigirl;591948 wrote: hooray for Pinky and Minks!:-4

hooray for chonsi ,your story inspired me boyond words can say :-6 :-6

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:06 pm

AngelEyes82;591955 wrote: I've had 2 of them- I don't want to go into detail though, ok.

the first one was when my ex and I got into a wreck with a semi. It blew out it's 2 outer back tires and went crazy on the road. Our car hit the very end of the bumper and sent us rolling into a ditch. There was nothing left of our car.. nothing. but both of us got out without a scratch. Thank you GOD.

The second was having a miscarriage @ 4 months. It was the worst thing I had ever went though to this day.

Oh bless hun, we are glad we got you

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:10 pm

AngelEyes82;591955 wrote: I've had 2 of them- I don't want to go into detail though, ok.

the first one was when my ex and I got into a wreck with a semi. It blew out it's 2 outer back tires and went crazy on the road. Our car hit the very end of the bumper and sent us rolling into a ditch. There was nothing left of our car.. nothing. but both of us got out without a scratch. Thank you GOD.

The second was having a miscarriage @ 4 months. It was the worst thing I had ever went though to this day.

:-6 :-6 jimbo hug to you missy :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:16 pm

AngelEyes82;591994 wrote: thank you. :-4
I tried to post this once sorry if it's a repeat.

Geeze you brought tears to my eyes mentioning those who have passed in that other thread.

I hope this is my last addition to this thread on life changing events.

The passing of my ex father in law.

He had cancer many many years ago, his treatments kicked the hades out of him, he was cancer free for 9 years then one day started to loose control of his lips, he was misdiagnosed with Miasthina Gravis (may be spelt wrong) after a couple months he got worse, he went into the hospital in may, june they saw a spot on his lungs, opened him up, closed him up in the same breath and said he was loaded with cancer. September of that year he passed on.

I still miss the old guy despite he was a doddering old fart. I came to realize he was the mortar of a truly great family at that time.

RIP BDM

OK I am getting all sappy somebody pass me chocolate.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:25 pm

jimbo;591866 wrote: sorry ww i know how hard that is to bare ,well done for coming through all your grief a wonderfull kind warm person :-6

my daughter natasha dying ,chantelle going away for 11 years ,my brothers casey and martin dying ,my cousin sam being murdered ,and finding chantelle her coming back into my life all these things have really changed my life big time

and you guys on fg ,with your support and kindness i feel human again ,thanks to all of you :-4 :-4My goodness Jim, for once Im lost for words, you aint had it easy boy have you, but I hope you have come through your many storms and at last can see that blue sky.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:31 pm

ThePheasant;591868 wrote: Parents divorce, death of my Mum when she was 40 years, meeting my husband and the birth of my 2 wonderful children. Some nice, some not so - but they all had a big impact on my life and my understanding of life.It all makes us the person we are today Pheasant I guess....we learn so much sometimes with just one experience but as the saying goes..........we learn the hard way......oh boy is that true at times.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 5:02 pm

:guitarist

I suppose certain life changing experiences are blanked out mentally. You cannot really recall them because they were so dreadful at the time. For me I accept that as a blessing. I know it happened, but details are very blurred, and I thank God for that. I certainly couldn't talk about it , not now. I did then, for a while, and that was good for me. Now , althought I still remember, and it was a long time ago, it is fading and is manageable. I will say no more - I just do not want to bring any details back.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 5:44 pm

having juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and walking away from it...then getting toxo and almost losing my sight....i have lived with the threat of it going at anytime for years...long ago i started living on faith....

my daughter's almost drowning when she was two years old...she had been on the bottom of the pool long enough to be gone...i did cpr and god decided to let her stay on earth ....i will never forget the way she looked when i pulled her from the pool

being raised by an alchoholic and marrying one...having the guts to let both go...and reach for the dream of a better life....:-6

cinamin · Post by **cinamin** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 5:47 pm

Unfortunately all of the things that I have learned from experiences have been gotten from pain and hardship.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 6:01 pm

Having, and beating Prostate Cancer was cause for Change In My Life.

I can still remember the phone call from the Urologist saying that he had bad news for me, "You have a high grade cancer of the prostate and I need to talk to you about your options". That was it, I really thought my life was over and that I had but a short time to live. At any rate, I beat the cancer and am cancer free. It caused me to have a greater awareness of my own mortality and an even greater appreciation of life and living than I had had before getting cancer. Life is good and I am enjoying it.

cinamin · Post by **cinamin** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 6:08 pm

G#Gill;592061 wrote: :guitarist

I suppose certain life changing experiences are blanked out mentally. You cannot really recall them because they were so dreadful at the time. For me I accept that as a blessing. I know it happened, but details are very blurred, and I thank God for that. I certainly couldn't talk about it , not now. I did then, for a while, and that was good for me. Now , althought I still remember, and it was a long time ago, it is fading and is manageable. I will say no more - I just do not want to bring any details back.

Yes, exactly. I had life "experiences" that were really trauma that have made me the person I have been for a long time. And now have to deal with the issues. Sometimes, in present time, we try to "fix" what went wrong, or what we think we did wrong a long time ago.

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 6:19 pm

I was beaten up by my Dad many times as child - many resulting in hospital visits. I thought I recovered from this pretty well but sometimes wonder if I allow my past to affect the way I am bringing up my children. I think I am too soft with them and feel really guilty if I shout at them to the point that they looked scared. It breaks my heart if they cry and I will give in to anything to get them to stop. If my husband gets mad at them (he has never laid a hand on them) I freak and get scared and try to but in and stop him shouting. Which I know is not helping as the kids see us working against each other.

I was wondering if anyone else who has had similar experiences feel this has left them with these issues - or is it just freaky me

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:01 am

guppy;592079 wrote: having juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and walking away from it...then getting toxo and almost losing my sight....i have lived with the threat of it going at anytime for years...long ago i started living on faith....

my daughter's almost drowning when she was two years old...she had been on the bottom of the pool long enough to be gone...i did cpr and god decided to let her stay on earth ....i will never forget the way she looked when i pulled her from the pool

being raised by an alchoholic and marrying one...having the guts to let both go...and reach for the dream of a better life....:-6Guppy, I know I should answer others first that left messages but I hope they forgive me. God your words moved me so much.We all think our story is a one off but then read what others have been through and realise we are not alone and theres people out there that have been through so much more.Yes I to was raised by an alcoholic and also married one. My mother was a very lonely, bitter lady that never married and took all her bitterness out on me.I was fostered out till I was 6 and I loved that family as a litle girl would love her family. I can still remember the day my mother dragged me away from my home and put me in an orphanage until she took me to live with her.That pain has never left me and even now as I type these words I cant stop the tears.It turns out that my mothers sister wouldn't allow me in the house and not till she moved out was I allowed there..........litle did she know that because of that my whole life and my way of thinking changed. My insecurity still haunts me to this day and its something I wish I could shake off but quite simply cant.Ok yes in many ways it made me a stronger person and made me aim for certain things in my life which I achieved.Also I have experienced many spiritual encounters and have been "helped" many times and also my life has been saved more than once by an unknown entity so you see yes parts of my life have been crap but I have been given back certain things and I realise that everyone have their storms to bear but we do get some sunshine as well.

Thankyou Guppy for sharing and God Bless.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:04 am

cinamin;592083 wrote: Unfortunately all of the things that I have learned from experiences have been gotten from pain and hardship.
Oh what true words Cinamin...........................

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 12:11 am

ThePheasant;592107 wrote: I was beaten up by my Dad many times as child - many resulting in hospital visits. I thought I recovered from this pretty well but sometimes wonder if I allow my past to affect the way I am bringing up my children. I think I am too soft with them and feel really guilty if I shout at them to the point that they looked scared. It breaks my heart if they cry and I will give in to anything to get them to stop. If my husband gets mad at them (he has never laid a hand on them) I freak and get scared and try to but in and stop him shouting. Which I know is not helping as the kids see us working against each other.

I was wondering if anyone else who has had similar experiences feel this has left them with these issues - or is it just freaky me :)No hun it is not just you.I have a lost childhood which haunts me to this day and as I have said before yes has left me with many issues.We cannot change our past but we can try to make our present more enjoyable even though at times "society" raises its ugly head and trys to knock us back.Pheasant your not freaky babe, just a human with a heart that still carries so much pain like so many of us.(((((((((hug))))))))))

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 1:10 am

ThePheasant;592107 wrote: I was beaten up by my Dad many times as child - many resulting in hospital visits. I thought I recovered from this pretty well but sometimes wonder if I allow my past to affect the way I am bringing up my children. I think I am too soft with them and feel really guilty if I shout at them to the point that they looked scared. It breaks my heart if they cry and I will give in to anything to get them to stop. If my husband gets mad at them (he has never laid a hand on them) I freak and get scared and try to but in and stop him shouting. Which I know is not helping as the kids see us working against each other.

I was wondering if anyone else who has had similar experiences feel this has left them with these issues - or is it just freaky me

wow this has given me goose bumps ,i had a very abusive nasty father ,who used to regulaly beat me till i was unconcious and emotionally too cruel for words ,this day and age he would have gone to prison ,i have never hit my children and i wonder if i am too soft on them :-3 :-3

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 1:12 am

guppy;592079 wrote: having juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and walking away from it...then getting toxo and almost losing my sight....i have lived with the threat of it going at anytime for years...long ago i started living on faith....

my daughter's almost drowning when she was two years old...she had been on the bottom of the pool long enough to be gone...i did cpr and god decided to let her stay on earth ....i will never forget the way she looked when i pulled her from the pool

being raised by an alchoholic and marrying one...having the guts to let both go...and reach for the dream of a better life....:-6

:-4 :-4 jimbo hug for the gupster :-6

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 2:13 am

Lon;592093 wrote: Having, and beating Prostate Cancer was cause for Change In My Life.

I can still remember the phone call from the Urologist saying that he had bad news for me, "You have a high grade cancer of the prostate and I need to talk to you about your options". That was it, I really thought my life was over and that I had but a short time to live. At any rate, I beat the cancer and am cancer free. It caused me to have a greater awareness of my own mortality and an even greater appreciation of life and living than I had had before getting cancer. Life is good and I am enjoying it.Lon those words must have been like a knife going into you. Its words in life that we dread to hear...........the dreaded C.Thank God you came through and out the other side. Enjoy your life Lon..........you have earned it.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 3:45 am

minks;592000 wrote: I tried to post this once sorry if it's a repeat.

Geeze you brought tears to my eyes mentioning those who have passed in that other thread.

I hope this is my last addition to this thread on life changing events.

The passing of my ex father in law.

He had cancer many many years ago, his treatments kicked the hades out of him, he was cancer free for 9 years then one day started to loose control of his lips, he was misdiagnosed with Miasthina Gravis (may be spelt wrong) after a couple months he got worse, he went into the hospital in may, june they saw a spot on his lungs, opened him up, closed him up in the same breath and said he was loaded with cancer. September of that year he passed on.

I still miss the old guy despite he was a doddering old fart. I came to realize he was the mortar of a truly great family at that time.

RIP BDM

OK I am getting all sappy somebody pass me chocolate.Minks every story I read seems more sad than the one before. We sit here and look at words that people have typed not thinking that beneath the words can lay such sadness. thanks for sharing Minks.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 3:58 am

Lets see.. The death of my first love, when I was 17. Sent me on a quest for spiritual answers that has continued all of my life. Then a car accident that mostly damaged my face, So, I experienced being ugly for a while, and so developed compassion. Like so many of you... married the wrong man, who took me to hell and back 100 times, until I grew the courage to divorce him. When I did, I didnt have 2 cents. I did have 2 sons 5 and 9 years old. raised them alone and got stronger and stronger as I discovered the art of survival. Got together with a man Id lusted after for 20 years. Left New York city and moved to a rural location. My relationship with him taught me never to have the audacity to observe someone elses marriage, and think you know whats going on. Started a business with a box of plastic bags and a rake that earned me a living for 8 years. Discovered that operating basic principles like hard work, honesty, reliability, and enthusiasm can work.

There is so much more... I also was diagnosed with malignant melanoma 18 months ago. I understand the shock and horror of getting that phone call telling you, and waiting for the pathology reports. The experience totally revamped my outlook on life. Like pushing the refresh button on the computer. All of this, and so much more has contributed to who I am today.

My relationship with the man who died.. colored my perceptions of what love is. Raising my children alone, made me feel the similarities of human moms, and animals. I would, give my life for either one of them. Moving to a rural location, opened up a whole new world for me, and showed me the joy of taking the chance of doing something exciting and different. Starting my business, set me free from the fear of being stuck, toiling for a limited pay check. My relationship with the man I wanted for so many years, forever ended my willingness or desire to compromise my freedom or my principles, just to have someone. The cancer uncovered my true gypsy self after many years lost. Brought back my complete lack of interest in accumulationg material posessions, that only tie me down, and keep me from up and going whereever I want to go. Life is a series of ups and downs. With all of its hardships and heartbreaks.. I wouldnt want to miss one moment of it. I see it as one big life changing, learning experience. Some of the best moments are being moved so deeply that I cry. Or laughing until my sides hurt. Knowing that there is a whole world filled with incredible people to meet makes it like Christmas every day.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:09 am

[QUOTE=weeder;592298]Lets see.. The death of my first love, when I was 17. Sent me on a quest for spiritual answers that has continued all of my life. Then a car accident that mostly damaged my face, So, I experienced being ugly for a while, and so developed compassion. Like so many of you... married the wrong man, who took me to hell and back 100 times, until I grew the courage to divorce him. When I did, I didnt have 2 cents. I did have 2 sons 5 and 9 years old. raised them alone and got stronger and stronger as I discovered the art of survival. Got together with a man Id lusted after for 20 years. Left New York city and moved to a rural location. My relationship with him taught me never to have the audacity to observe someone elses marriage, and think you know whats going on. Started a business with a box of plastic bags and a rake that earned me a living for 8 years. Discovered that operating basic principles like hard work, honesty, reliability, and enthusiasm can work.

There is so much more... I also was diagnosed with malignant melanoma 18 months ago. I understand the shock and horror of getting that phone call telling you, and waiting for the pathology reports. The experience totally revamped my outlook on life. Like pushing the refresh button on the computer. All of this, and so much more has contributed to who I am today.

My relationship with the man who died.. colored my perceptions of what love is. Raising my children alone, made me feel the similarities of human moms, and animals. I would, give my life for either one of them. Moving to a rural location, opened up a whole new world for me, and showed me the joy of taking the chance of doing something exciting and different. Starting my business, set me free from the fear of being stuck, toiling for a limited pay check. My relationship with the man I wanted for so many years, forever ended my willingness or desire to compromise my freedom or my principles, just to have someone. The cancer uncovered my true gypsy self after many years lost. Brought back my complete lack of interest in accumulationg material posessions, that only tie me down, and keep me from up and going whereever I want to go. Life is a series of ups and downs. With all of its hardships and heartbreaks.. I wouldnt want to miss one moment of it. I see it as one big life changing, learning experience. Some of the best moments are being moved so deeply that I cry. Or laughing until my sides hurt. Knowing that there is a whole world filled with incredible people to meet makes it like Christmas every day.[/QUOTE Weeder you aint had it easy babe have you..........God I sound like a record now, but its true. I enjoyed reading your story so much yet felt some pain doing so. Again i say thankyou so much my dear for sharing your story. We all have stuff in our lives that we hold within and now and again we just need to let it out.Yesterdays experiences are todays memories and part of us.....no we cant run away from them but they also add up to the person you are today.Weeder good luck in all you do and may life treat you more kindly from now on.

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 5:53 am

WonderWendy3;591860 wrote: Like almost dying when giving birth to a still-born....yes I'd say life changing.

Nice thread Carolly:-6 :-4

Hi Wendy, My baby boy wasnt still born, but only lived for four hours. Only the ones who have held their dead baby in their arms can understand:-4

I do have a son and a daughter tho and treasure them both.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:04 am

kazalala;592321 wrote: Hi Wendy, My baby boy wasnt still born, but only lived for four hours. Only the ones who have held their dead baby in their arms can understand:-4

I do have a son and a daughter tho and treasure them both.

my heart goes out to you :-4 as i carried my natasha's tiny white coffin to her grave i still remembewr every step i took ,and the feelings of utter despair and pain beyond belief as i tried to comfort my grieving partner will stay with me always ,as they lowered my beautifull baby down and my partner sobbed and screamed in a pain i could not help her with i knew life would never ever be the same :-1 but now after many years apart on my other daughter waits to come home and i'm glad to be alive :-6

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:07 am

About 2 years ago, at the age of 45 i found out what it was like to be bullied. I say bullied loosely as i would say i was actually terrorised. By a man, who im sure isnt "all there" if u know what i mean. He had me to the point of physical illness, and no i wasnt in a relationship with him, i have been married for 26 years. The worst part of it was i found out who my friends were and it wasnt nice. After i had supported , backed, fought for them over past years, when i really needed their support and help, and actually asked for their help, ( I dont think i have ever asked for help before that in my life!), Well they let me down badly. I can sort of understand, cos he had thought of this and also got to a few of them, they were scared too. But i still couldnt help being badly dissapointed. I ended up walking away from something that had been a very big part of my life for about 13 years or so, and walking away from those ppl, and a huge social circle.

I became a little reclusive for a while, ................ and then............. i got the internet. Through this i have found new friends, and my faith in people has been restored.

I know there are still and always will be good and bad, but this sort of brought me back to life a bit.

So i would say it has been a life changing experience, terrible to go through at the time, but eventually coming through it with positive changes as well.:-6

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:09 am

[QUOTE=jimbo;592325]my heart goes out to you :-4 as i carried my natasha's tiny white coffin to her grave i still remembewr every step i took ,and the feelings of utter despair and pain beyond belief as i tried to comfort my grieving partner will stay with me always ,as they lowered my beautifull baby down and my partner sobbed and screamed in a pain i could not help her with i knew life would never ever be the same but now after many years apart on my other daughter waits to come home and i'm glad to be alive

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs :yh_hugs For u and your family.