Can bad people truly change?

Indian Princess · Post by **Indian Princess** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:12 pm

Can bad people truly change?

Do you think they really know how messed up they are?

Are they too scared to admit it, because admiting it makes it real.

If you had a relationship with someone that was once violent and 7 years later they pop into your life and say they have changed would you think it was for real?

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:14 pm

From passed experience, no! The percentage of them changing is not good. It is good at first then back to the same old thing.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:16 pm

Indian Princess;601408 wrote: Can bad people truly change?

Do you think they really know how messed up they are?

Are they too scared to admit it, because admiting it makes it real.

If you had a relationship with someone that was once violent and 7 years later they pop into your life and say they have changed would you think it was for real?

No----------that would be quite naive.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:17 pm

Tough call hun.

I have seen the neighbor pull that stunt with his lady and no he never changed he just weasled his way back into her life and hit her harder.

I dunno, perhaps if they had councelling and got help to overcome their anger and agression maybe the could change.

Not so black and white is it.

sofkeli · Post by **sofkeli** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:27 pm

I dont think 'bad people' can actually change.. I think you are born with a personality which is nurtured and whatever upbringing you have, it can only make so much difference to that ingrained personality..

as for the man coming back into your life ..who knows..somet could have happened to magically turn things around, but i wouldnt bet on it

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:31 pm

sofkeli;601447 wrote: I dont think 'bad people' can actually change.. I think you are born with a personality which is nurtured and whatever upbringing you have, it can only make so much difference to that ingrained personality..

as for the man coming back into your life ..who knows..somet could have happened to magically turn things around, but i wouldnt bet on it

This is true!

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:36 pm

Once again I'm the odd man out.

After the ugliest divorce know to the universe I put myself in therapy lest I kill myself or others. I therapy I discovered my self worth, confidence and spirituality.

Sound pretty good so far, eh?

Wait, there's more.

I next suffered a massive heart attack which really forced me to mellow out and be calm. But not enough to negate Karma handing me yet another heart attack!

So let's see, I lost my wife, my family, my house, my health, my job.

The next move is to make me homeless. ( Hence the living with no tv, computer, phone, etc.)

I don't know how you see all this but what I saw was God saying.

"Yo. Ed.

WAKETHEF*CKUP!"

So now I'm Father to my six year old Son. He shows me what true love is and I show him the same.

Yes. People can change.

:-6

sofkeli · Post by **sofkeli** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 3:49 pm

JacksDad;601467 wrote: Once again I'm the odd man out.

After the ugliest divorce know to the universe I put myself in therapy lest I kill myself or others. I therapy I discovered my self worth, confidence and spirituality.

Sound pretty good so far, eh?

Wait, there's more.

I next suffered a massive heart attack which really forced me to mellow out and be calm. But not enough to negate Karma handing me yet another heart attack!

So let's see, I lost my wife, my family, my house, my health, my job.

The next move is to make me homeless. ( Hence the living with no tv, computer, phone, etc.)

I don't know how you see all this but what I saw was God saying.

"Yo. Ed.

WAKETHEF*CKUP!"

So now I'm Father to my six year old Son. He shows me what true love is and I show him the same.

Yes. People can change.

:-6

I stand corrected.. though it seems u have to go through a lot before there is big change.

I know someone who is in pretty much the same situation..a drinker, a wife beater and now he has no family by his side and no money, no home of his own...and it doesnt look like this is helping him to see sense yet...

but well done to you JacksDad and others who have turned their lives around.. u must have had strength in your character to be able to do something about ur life.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 4:57 pm

JacksDad;601467 wrote: Once again I'm the odd man out.

After the ugliest divorce know to the universe I put myself in therapy lest I kill myself or others. I therapy I discovered my self worth, confidence and spirituality.

Sound pretty good so far, eh?

Wait, there's more.

I next suffered a massive heart attack which really forced me to mellow out and be calm. But not enough to negate Karma handing me yet another heart attack!

So let's see, I lost my wife, my family, my house, my health, my job.

The next move is to make me homeless. ( Hence the living with no tv, computer, phone, etc.)

I don't know how you see all this but what I saw was God saying.

"Yo. Ed.

WAKETHEF*CKUP!"

So now I'm Father to my six year old Son. He shows me what true love is and I show him the same.

Yes. People can change.

:-6

Sure they can change, but you were never really bad to begin with.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 4:59 pm

Bad people can always change. Evil people cannot.

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:06 pm

Yea. I think Lon busted me there.

Indian Princess · Post by **Indian Princess** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:34 pm

I agree with red glitter

Jamesblonde · Post by **Jamesblonde** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:37 pm

Indian Princess;601408 wrote: Can bad people truly change??

It depends on what motivates them to be bad in the first place.

Do you think they really know how messed up they are??

If they do then they can change it.

Are they too scared to admit it, because admiting it makes it real.?
Something like that

If you had a relationship with someone that was once violent and 7 years later they pop into your life and say they have changed would you think it was for real?

No ****ing way.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 5:40 pm

Jamesblonde;601641 wrote: It depends on what motivates them to be bad in the first place.

If they do then they can change it.

Something like that

No ****ing way. i agree..no ****ing way would i give another chance....

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:26 pm

Indian Princess;601408 wrote: Can bad people truly change?

Do you think they really know how messed up they are?

Are they too scared to admit it, because admiting it makes it real.

If you had a relationship with someone that was once violent and 7 years later they pop into your life and say they have changed would you think it was for real?

IP, I would start off by asking the question, is it extremely important to you that you want this person to change for the better? Cause maybe you believe that you still may have feelings for this person? If you still do have feelings for this person, consider this, from my personal experience.

Seven years is a long time, & some people really can change over time. I have known some characters that were pretty nasty at one time. That did in fact change for the better over the years. (A few did not, unfortunately it's like a crap shoot, you just never know) Just don't "rush" in to anything IP, after not seeing this person for "seven" years, you now can wait how ever long it takes (in your mind, 6 mos, or maybe a year) to see if this person has really changed for the better or remains the same. Good Luck in whatever you decide to do!

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:31 pm

Leopards do not change their spots. That has been my experience. Maybe with someone else...... different chemistry, it could work. I would never, ever, ever... chance it.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 6:38 pm

Wellllllllll....ummmmm, I was married at the age of 20 to the father of my first born child, got married because I was pregnant, a week after being married, I was informed that he made a big mistake and he didn't want to be married anymore. for the next two years I was yelled at, told I was worthless, and constantly reminded how he DID not love me and couldn't wait to divorce me....plus he was an alcholohic!!

I finally divorced him when our son was 2 years old, only to turn around and re-marry him less than 2 years later...He did change, stopped drinking, cleaned up his act and started taking us to church. We re-married and had a still-born baby and then 2 healthly boys....He was a truck driver and gone a lot and eventually the drinking started up again and the abuse started again and out of the blue one day he asked me what I thought about getting a divorce? and explained how much money he would give me etc., it was well thought out to my surprise!!

We were re-married in 1992, and in 2003 I was in fear for my life, He had raped me, stalked me and completely tortured me to the point I was scared to leave my house. He promised to Kill me one night and when I woke up the next morning, thankful to be alive....Told him to get out and never come back....and he didn't, of course I had to get a Protective order to make sure that he stayed away from me, and he turned that around that I was over-reacting.

I agree, bad people can change...evil people cannot....I saw demons in this mans eyes!

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:10 pm

I'm not a big believer in second chances when it comes to intimate relationships. Perhaps because I commit myself enough that it takes a lot to break up with someone. By the time that happens it is a serious indication that we are not compatible.

My theory is that if it was meant to be it would have been. Getting back together again with exes always seemed to be saying that a person didn't believe they could find the person they really wanted.

Indian Princess · Post by **Indian Princess** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:15 pm

I asure you strictly hypothetical.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:23 pm

If you had a relationship with someone that was once violent and 7 years later they pop into your life and say they have changed would you think it was for real?
Oh hellllll no!

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:05 am

Indian Princess;601408 wrote: Can bad people truly change?

Do you think they really know how messed up they are?

Are they too scared to admit it, because admiting it makes it real.

If you had a relationship with someone that was once violent and 7 years later they pop into your life and say they have changed would you think it was for real?

To think that "bad" people couldn't truly change is actually self-defeating. Probably the majority of people can say they've done something that's hurt another person, and regretted it and grew and changed for the better. People only have their words/actions. And nobody is wise enough to have never said a bad thing or done a bad deed. What makes a bad person is someone doing this chronically. But of course they can change. If we can put a man on the moon or talk to someone on a cell phone from the other side of the world, then one person can find the motivation to change their ways. What little faith in the human spirit do we have?!?