A Bad night last night~

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Wed May 02, 2007 7:53 am

:yh_brokeh :yh_hugs :yh_hugs :-4

I am so sorry that you've gone through that, I can relate to a degree and my heart breaks for you to go through the pain. I am praying for you....

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed May 02, 2007 7:57 am

Oh hunny I wish I could be there to hug you and just be a shoulder to cry on for you.

You have endured some pretty awful stuff.

Go on vent away, I think that is good.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed May 02, 2007 7:58 am

:-4 and :yh_hugs to you.

You say you have forgiven your father, have you really, truly? And most importantly have you forgiven yourself?

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:06 am

Oh honey! I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through something so awful.

Sending you lots of love and hugs!!!!!!!! :-4

Mystery · Post by **Mystery** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:07 am

AngelEyes82;604547 wrote: I am sorry for boring you w/this.

But thanks for listening.

I don't think there's a need in the world for you to be sorry about letting your pain out. That's one of the most therapeutic things that can be done. Letting the past rest is not always easy, especially with the tragedies you've endured. Talking about that is one of the ways to begin the process, so please don't feel "bad" for reaching out. I wish you the best, and know you're in my prayers.

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:15 am

I'm quite sure it's taken a lot out of you to tell us all that.

Bless you for being so strong. My thoughts are with you darlin:-4 :-4

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:18 am

Aww hun

I'm so sorry you had to go through something so awful.

I'm glad you feel like you can open up to the people here though. I'm sure it helps to know that you have people across the world that care about you. And you always have a friend in me too. Hugs to you!!!!! :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:23 am

Sweetie you are far from weak, never ever think that. To have forgiven your father is no sign of weakness.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:29 am

AngelEyes82;604584 wrote: I know deep down I still hold a grudge for what he's done.. physically and emotionally to me. But He's my dad and I can't help but feel like this is something that HAS to be done. He really has changed- He was here in July and I was So damn nervous because my daughter was 5 and he was coming here & i was just scared.. I had my daughter lock her bedroom door at night & I told her I will wake her up in the morning. She didn't understand but it was all for my peace of mind and her safety.

I did go to therapy a while back- I know it wasn't my fault in either circumstance. I am just so cautious and untrusting towards certain types of guys.

I pray everynight that GOD helps me through another day.. I've gotten so much to thank him for.. I felt like a crazy person last night the way I lost it. All my self control went right out the damn window.

I was really embarrassed for Tim to see me like that.

You have nothing to forgive your self for , just remember you done nothing wrong , the terrible things that have happened to you was no fault of yours

(((( hugs ))))

Sweet Tooth · Post by **Sweet Tooth** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:33 am

Hey lady, I used to think that the reason we got married was to have this fairytale life like Cinderella, then I realized it was because there is no way you could do it alone. God gives us special men like our husbands to make us stonger and to help us along the way. I'm sorry you had to go through such $h!t - its not fair that bad stuff happens to the best people. Stay strong and corageous- I love you! :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:42 am

Sweet Tooth;604618 wrote: Hey lady, I used to think that the reason we got married was to have this fairytale life like Cinderella, then I realized it was because there is no way you could do it alone. God gives us special men like our husbands to make us stonger and to help us along the way. I'm sorry you had to go through such $h!t - its not fair that bad stuff happens to the best people. Stay strong and corageous- I love you! :-4

Sweet Tooth your so right.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Wed May 02, 2007 8:58 am

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs

It's hard when things trigger us to remember stuff from our horrid pasts. But your not weak, things just have to break through the wall sometimes. If it didn't happen, we wouldn't be humans. And don't worry about embarrassing yourself in front of Tim. He loves you for everything you are. The good and bad.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed May 02, 2007 9:01 am

From my own experiences I think, aside from forgiveness, you need to realise that YOU decide who is in your life now. If you allow your father to visit your home that is your choice not his right. There are many people I forgive but choose not to continue having them in my life. Why do you think I'm in England? I've been pressured by a lot of people to forgive rapists and had them invited into my home by other people. And I just put up with it. You control your environment now. You don't owe anyone anything, except your child.

Just because your father is family doesn't mean you have to like him. The key is realising where the power is; in you. Don't be guilted into thinking forgiveness means acceptance. I'm sure you've done many things for him too that he should be thankful for... mainly, forgiving him. If that's where you leave it then he should still be thankful to you.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed May 02, 2007 9:13 am

Fine... I'm happy that you are working through it... As long as you realise that it is entirely your choice and you have the right to change your mind at any moment for no reason other than that you are uncomfortable.

I think we all have old grief resurface at random moments, especially when we see stories or news that bring the memories back. The flashbacks are from triggers. It can be anything that causes it, a colour or a smell etc to having someone touch you a certain way. The best you can do, imo, is figure out what the trigger was and then you will start to reduce the effect it has on you.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed May 02, 2007 9:24 am

I don't know what to say Susie. Except that forgiving doesn't always mean forgetting. Would that it did sometimes. I wish you didn't have this pain.

:-4