Ladies, are we obsessed? What do the men say?

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed May 04, 2005 12:03 pm

I recently read a good article in Glamour magazine. I've been trying to find it on-line, but so far, no luck. Basically, what it states is that how us women see ourselves and the physical things that concern us are NOT what and/or how our men see us.

For example: A group of men were asked, what is a bigger "turn-off" to you?

1) Cellulite

2) Women who complain about their cellulite.

Something like 70% said the complaints were a bigger turn-off than actaul cellulite.

There was a picture posted in the article of a woman at the beach in a bikini who was very pretty, and had a bit of a tummy. The men polled said she was gorgeous, a knock-out, and very sexy, while I saw the belly and thought, "If I had that tummy, I'd never wear a bikini!!" But because she was comfortable and confident, she was sexy.

Apparently, according to this article, the things we obsess about, men just kind of shrug, and say, "What the heck are you talking about?"

How aggravating is it to you to be innundated with all these images of what is "ideal" and how hard do you try to live up to them?

And for the guys: Is there any truth to this? Do you think us women are truly crazy obsessing over the 3 or 4 extra pounds around our middles? Is it true that confidence in ourselves and being comfortable with our bodies is a bigger turn-on than a perfect "10"? Input please!!!

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed May 04, 2005 12:09 pm

BabyRider wrote: I recently read a good article in Glamour magazine. I've been trying to find it on-line, but so far, no luck. Basically, what it states is that how us women see ourselves and the physical things that concern us are NOT what and/or how our men see us.

For example: A group of men were asked, what is a bigger "turn-off" to you?

1) Cellulite

2) Women who complain about their cellulite.

Something like 70% said the complaints were a bigger turn-off than actaul cellulite.

There was a picture posted in the article of a woman at the beach in a bikini who was very pretty, and had a bit of a tummy. The men polled said she was gorgeous, a knock-out, and very sexy, while I saw the belly and thought, "If I had that tummy, I'd never wear a bikini!!" But because she was comfortable and confident, she was sexy.

Apparently, according to this article, the things we obsess about, men just kind of shrug, and say, "What the heck are you talking about?"

How aggravating is it to you to be innundated with all these images of what is "ideal" and how hard do you try to live up to them?

And for the guys: Is there any truth to this? Do you think us women are truly crazy obsessing over the 3 or 4 extra pounds around our middles? Is it true that confidence in ourselves and being comfortable with our bodies is a bigger turn-on than a perfect "10"? Input please!!!

Wow BR interesting article, ... did you know if we were proportioned like the Barbie doll we would not be able to walk upright.

You know as we age too, that "roundness" creeps up on us. I think confidence no matter what is key. I think men are smarter than portrayed. I think they accept imperfection better than us as they have less "in your face" stuff tossed at them daily to be perfect.

Kind of a pharmacuetical mentality, "if we throw to the public the cure, they will create the desease and buy our product."

If we toss out BS about perfect bodies we will develop insecure bodies and they will buy our product.

Blame the media, and retail.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed May 04, 2005 12:13 pm

The article is in the March issue of Glamour. If anyone knows a better way to get it, I'd love to post the whole thing. I read it, and then asked Bullet to read it, and he kept saying, "Yeah, YEAH! That's right! Exactly!"

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Wed May 04, 2005 12:23 pm

Yes, everything I have ever read states nothing is more of a turn-off to men than a woman complaining about body image. Confidence is sexy!

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed May 04, 2005 12:28 pm

hotsauce wrote: Yes, everything I have ever read states nothing is more of a turn-off to men than a woman complaining about body image. Confidence is sexy!

And sadly so many women still have not learned that. And that is not sad as in stupid, that is sad as in shameful that they were "made" to not have confidence.

cars · Post by **cars** » Wed May 04, 2005 12:30 pm

Posted by BabyRider:

How aggravating is it to you to be innundated with all these images of what is "ideal" and how hard do you try to live up to them?

And for the guys: Is there any truth to this? Do you think us women are truly crazy obsessing over the 3 or 4 extra pounds around our middles? Is it true that confidence in ourselves and being comfortable with our bodies is a bigger turn-on than a perfect "10"? Input please!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It has been said that: "Beauty is in the Eyes of the beholder"!! That is absolutely true to a tee. Have you ever asked yourself what does He/She "see" in Him/Her?

By asking yourself that question, apparently you did not see what that person saw! A perfect outter "10" fades over the years, while a perfect inner "10" endures forever! If a guy can't see past Holywood's creation/interpretation of a perfect "10" beauty, then he is only superficial, and should look in the mirror himself and see if he measures up to the perfect "10" Hollywood hunks! Most likely he'll be suprised!!! Women S/B confident & comfortable with themselves & that will outshine any "flaws" or concerns they may have!

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed May 04, 2005 12:33 pm

Thanks Cars! I really am curious what the guys have to say about this. I can read all the articles from here till rapture, but I'd like to hear the opinions of men I know and respect, so I appreciate your input.

Minks, what's ironic is, your sig lines kind of go along with this thread! :yh_bigsmi

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Wed May 04, 2005 1:00 pm

yeah...i'm not a guy...hope that is okay that i stuck my big nose in too. i read your title as ladies are we obsessed? like you are asking ladies...oh well...never mind....i'm just one that has to jump on threads even if they were meant for guys. go figure!

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed May 04, 2005 1:21 pm

No no, Sauce...I am absolutely interested in everyone's input. I had a hinky feeling someone was going to infer that I meant only guys when I posted my reply to Cars. If I meant guys only, I'd say so! :yh_bigsmi

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed May 04, 2005 1:43 pm

BabyRider wrote: No no, Sauce...I am absolutely interested in everyone's input. I had a hinky feeling someone was going to infer that I meant only guys when I posted my reply to Cars. If I meant guys only, I'd say so! :yh_bigsmi

I think women need to be re-programed to the motto "love yourself first" And need to be made aware that beauty comes in all forms.

I grew up believing boobs were the be all end all (needless to say mine are small, always claimed I got my chest from my father ahahaha) and as a teen my brother and father loved to tease me about it. I kind of went through a phase of wishing for something larger, and had tossed around the idea of enhancement. But hit my 20's and thought screw that I love me as I am. And I love my boyish figure ahahahahahaha

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Wed May 04, 2005 1:46 pm

Well, I don't know about obsessed. I probably should say yes. I have good

self-esteem most of the time, yet a certain sadness that I don't look like

I once did. For 52, I'm great. But I do admit to a bit of jealousy of the younger

bodies. More slender. I sure work hard at it with all my exercise, but I'm

buckin' heredity here which is a tough thing to do. I always say I hit the

genetic jackpot, no cancer, no heart disease, no diabetics, but a tendency

to overwieght.

I think I look good BR but I'm like you, a little too much tummy in a picture

and I don't think it looks good. So, maybe after all these years the magazines

and ad types HAVE sunk in to this thick skull of mine!

Now that I think of it, the other way turns me off, too, the real scrawny

types. Sheesh, what's a girl to do?

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Wed May 04, 2005 2:33 pm

well i'm not a man either, just forced to wear a man's uniform! ~~~i never felt badly about not looking anorexic, i have one of those 1940's movie star bodies, and my man and i are very happy with it! all female, all woman, all curves!

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Wed May 04, 2005 8:43 pm

ABBEY! she said "spandex"!!!

(just a little running joke there Boo!)

anastrophe · Post by **anastrophe** » Wed May 04, 2005 11:42 pm

my philosophy is a variant on the Nike tagline:

If it moves, Just Do It.

what was the question?

Bothwell · Post by **Bothwell** » Thu May 05, 2005 1:36 am

Well the answer for me is that no man that I know lusts after the Kate Moss/Stick insect type. Most beautiful film stars ever Sophia Loren, Gina Lollibrigida, Marilyn etc I dont think any of them could be considered svelte. So IMO lots of women have the wrong idea about waht men want physically.

On the other hand I am convinced that balding, overweight, middle aged man is the absolute pinnacle of desire for most women I mean women even point to me in the street, that's lust right??

smithy87 · Post by **smithy87** » Thu May 05, 2005 1:38 am

What gets me mad is that they tell us not to be obsessed with our bodies, but as soon as a celebrity puts a bit of weight on they get slagged off in the press for 'letting themselves go'. You can't win!

I'm not obsessed with my body but I do have a little whinge in my head sometimes. I weigh approx 130lbs and I'm toned but I wish I had a curvier figure. I wish I could fill a dress properly and look curvier!

My husband loves my huge food appetite, because I love my food and can eat for England!

greydeadhead · Post by **greydeadhead** » Thu May 05, 2005 5:18 am

well.. ya know.. first they tell us that being overweight it bad.. now they tell us that alittle over the top is good.. better than being thin... damn.. I wish they would make up their minds. Myself.. lets see.. I am happy with my body.. 6 even.. 210 and going down.. my goal... 200 even. little bit of a beer belly .. but then again.. I turn ummmm... errrr... ahhhh.. okay.. we don't need to go there.. but anyway.. I am in better shape than guys half my age.. gym.. yep.. watch what I eat.. most of the time.. now..

those ultra skinny models just don't do it for me... I mean really.. they look totally plastic to me.. now a real turn on.. the female athletes in the latest SI swimsuit issue.. totally fit.. the real thing.. phew.. no fake curves there..

Anyway.. you gotta be happy with your image before anything else.. and if you are not happy.. work on it.. it can be changed... okay

rant

over..

BTS · Post by **BTS** » Thu May 05, 2005 5:31 am

anastrophe wrote: my philosophy is a variant on the Nike tagline:

If it moves, Just Do It.

what was the question? So you broke the ice for us girley men... gee thanx Paul.............LOL

Having seen a few Jerry Springer shows in my day, I am not sure what the average male is interested in anymore.

BUTT...I know what interests me. I think it is their confidence and sincerity that matters. I do not like too much over weight or too much make up and perfumes.....

That's my stttorrie and I'm sttticckkin to it.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri May 06, 2005 12:04 am

I had breast cancer last year and and matsectomy - 5 months of chemo - bald for several more months and then met a wondy man on-line and we live together now - so go FIGURE

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Fri May 06, 2005 3:11 am

im torn between feeling super sexy one day & grotesque the next

when im feeling super sexy guys definately like me more, no doubt about it

A Karenina · Post by **A Karenina** » Fri May 06, 2005 6:18 am

You're on to something there, Buttercup.

I believe it's in how we feel about ourselves, not how we look. It's in how we act/feel/respond. Is there a greater turn-on than someone who responds to us?

I also believe this confidence works in everything, not just romance. If I project an aura of self-confidence at work, people are convinced I know my stuff.

Just my thoughts.

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Fri May 06, 2005 7:59 am

It's a crying shame that society, naemely TV and Movies, sets a goal for women that is divorced from reality.

what's attractive in a girl? Personality. I can see a girl's personality from a mile away. I'm attracted to the nice ones. Old-fashioned. A quick smile, a little shyness, and a sharp mind.

The rest is all irrelevant.

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Fri May 06, 2005 9:12 am

?!!! Stop that now! You're making me blush!

(jives feels his cheeks)

Is it hot in here?

anastrophe · Post by **anastrophe** » Fri May 06, 2005 9:17 am

Jives wrote: I can see a girl's personality from a mile away.
any feminine attributes visible from a mile away definitely qualify as Knockout Material to me.

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Fri May 06, 2005 9:52 am

flopstock wrote: And that is exactly why the women of the garden have you down as 'a major babe magnet' on the 'guy rating list' distributed to all new female members. :-4

hubba hubba

diane

LOL:yh_rotfl

(It's true, it's true!!)

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri May 06, 2005 6:25 pm

Bothwell wrote: I am convinced that balding, overweight, middle aged man is the absolute pinnacle of desire for most women I mean women even point to me in the street, that's lust right??

right~~~here's the REAL Bothwell ladies! :yh_drool

Attached files

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri May 06, 2005 6:44 pm

flopstock wrote: Well then..I guess the question of the evening would be ' This is all you could think of to do tonight, huh?'

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl it HAS been quiet around here, idle hands are the devil's plaything~~~or something like that! LOL he's gonna KILL me!

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sat May 07, 2005 2:49 pm

Go through some disfiguring disease - like breast cancer - walk around breast-less, bald and a little grey from chemo - and you'll hear what people truly feel about you. Most of it is absolute support for being a strong willed and minded person - not about the body at all. My husband was a ***** and left me but I met a lot of real people on-line and at work who showed me what really counts - and that is what is inside. So I got a free boob job out of the whole thing and I laugh inside when men remark on my figure because I know some of them could not have walked beside me through it all and who wants someone like that? I'm getting older and gravity is definitely taking my butt to my ankles - but I'll have the perkiest breasts of any 80 year old around.

jpcme · Post by **jpcme** » Mon May 09, 2005 5:53 am

' A group of men were asked, what is a bigger "turn-off" to you?

1) Cellulite'

Do not care in the slightest if you have it or not.

'2) Women who complain about their cellulite.'

Yes it is much more of a turn off than actually having it.

'Is it true that confidence in ourselves and being comfortable with our bodies is a bigger turn-on than a perfect "10"? Input please!!!'

What's a perfect 10? No such thing.

Every man has his own idea as to what scores a 10. Personally if I grab a womans rear and my fingers do not sink at least a little into flesh then no chance of a 10.

As for men not changing because they read that they do not need to in magazines. Men do not change because they do not want to change, the magazines just reflect this because they know that if they spouted the rubbish the womens magazines did about how you should change then no one would by them.

Just one mans view.

greydeadhead · Post by **greydeadhead** » Mon May 09, 2005 7:49 am

Tums.. you mean that Bothwell's pic in the above post makes you run for the Tums..

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Mon May 09, 2005 8:10 am

skittles2004 wrote: jives was my teacher!!! so therefore [skittles grosses out]
was he really your teacher?

my first crush was on my social studies teacher...i thought he was totally cool.

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Mon May 09, 2005 8:14 am

skittles2004 wrote: Yeah! thats how i found forum garden!
I didn't know that!

greydeadhead · Post by **greydeadhead** » Mon May 09, 2005 8:15 am

oh.. my french teacher was the only reason I took French in H.S. and the only class I attended on a regular basis.. yes indeedy... she was a hottie ....

greydeadhead · Post by **greydeadhead** » Mon May 09, 2005 8:53 am

ummm.. I don't think so.. I think that she is a tad grossed out by the idea.. judging from her earlier posts..

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Mon May 09, 2005 9:03 am

Ahem....She's not actually saying I'm ugly though! I'm rather handsome formy age, blonde hair, lots of it, and blue eyes. Nordic-looking, tall, etc.

She's just saying that anybody older than 25 is gross to her at her age. And although Skittles is a very nice looking girl......I'm not attracted the slightest to her.

because...I'M NOT MICHAEL JACKSON!!