How do you know

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Fri May 11, 2007 6:26 pm

When it's time to end a relationship.

When two people love each other, but the issues are reacurring and it's wearing the two people down, when do you say goodbye.

When it hurts to think about letting go, but holding on seems to hard, what do you do?

How much is too much?

My heart is really falling apart.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri May 11, 2007 6:30 pm

Awww Sweetie, :yh_hugs :yh_hugs

I'm so sorry!!

IMO, you know in your heart, it's so heartbreaking...I've been through it and it hurts like the dickens....wish I could erase the pain for you my dear!!:-4 :-4

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Fri May 11, 2007 6:45 pm

WonderWendy3;611173 wrote: Awww Sweetie, :yh_hugs :yh_hugs

I'm so sorry!!

IMO, you know in your heart, it's so heartbreaking...I've been through it and it hurts like the dickens....wish I could erase the pain for you my dear!!:-4 :-4

thanks Wendy.

Seriously, does anyone have any thoughts on when? When do you finally give up?

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Fri May 11, 2007 6:58 pm

When the thoughts of staying hurt more than the thoughts of letting go.

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Fri May 11, 2007 7:06 pm

I am so sorry... this is such a hard one, I know.

Honestly, it all depends on if you really want the relationship to succeed or not. And what you're willing to do in order for it to succeed. There is usually middle ground or compromise. Both people need to bend for that to happen. Two people who really love each other can usually make it through anything if they give the time and effort that it needs. Not knowing your specific circumstances I can't say if I'd end it or not if I were in your shoes. But, for me, I've known when to walk away when I knew in my heart that I wasn't going to compromise anymore, for whatever reason. It hurts like hell, yes. But, in my current situation, my boyfriend and I had a reoccurring argument. We used to fight about it almost every day. Then we sat down, and really tried to work through it, finding that common ground I was talking about. It may mean that both of you have to make sacrifices. And now, my boyfriend and I are happily engaged 'cause we worked through it. So, if you want to keep trying, then do so. But make sure you're both on the same page. Have a heart to heart talk.

I wish you all the luck with it. I hope it works out for you, I really do. :yh_love

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Sat May 12, 2007 5:46 am

thanks, these are all things to think about.

thanks again.

SlipStream · Post by **SlipStream** » Sat May 12, 2007 6:45 am

[QUOTE=NotToday;611172]When it's time to end a relationship.

When two people love each other, but the issues are reacurring and it's wearing the two people down, when do you say goodbye.

When it hurts to think about letting go, but holding on seems to hard, what do you do?

How much is too much?

My heart is really falling apart.[/QUOTE

only ting I'd say is despite the pain don't get bogged down.

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Sat May 12, 2007 7:55 am

Thanks Pinky

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Sat May 12, 2007 9:03 am

I did decide to walk away at one point in my marriage. I had resigned myself to it, and my husband had agreed, and we were starting to find out about how we went about it, you know starting proceedings etc. But my husband i think when he realised i was going through with it, decided he didnt want us to split, he wanted to try again, i have to give credit to him for being brave enough to say it, and also for being the one to give it another go on my terms only. that was about 10 years ago and we have been married for 27 years now. Thats just my story, and i dont know if its any help to you, except to show that sometimes,, all is not lost,, and its not always beyond repair. Im not suggesting you should leave or threaten to leave, as i dont know what your circumstances are.

Only you really can know when or if it is time. I hope the outcome is a good one for you.

Be Happy:yh_hugs

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Sun May 13, 2007 8:58 am

That's a tough question, but I would say to do what you feel is best for you. Whatever you do, you don't want to make yourself unhappy and then spend day after day feeling sad about life and the decisions you made, so make sure you think hard about whatever you decide to do. You should be enjoying life, and whether that is with someone or on your own, that is something that the two of you will have to work out together.

What ever happens though, I wish you all the best for the future, I'm sure things will look promising for you, even if at the moment they don't!! :-6 :yh_hugs

suilunguk · Post by **suilunguk** » Sun May 13, 2007 11:58 am

Hi mate,

I am really sorry to hear of your hurt. I have very recently been through a make or break in my relationship. I have been with my partner 6 years, he is 29 years older than me. I had a real issue with a family member of his. We did nothing but argue about it every day for a couple of years. I then had a huge blow up with this family member. I just couldnt cope with my back injury, this family member, these arguements and atmosphere, and my fella's attitude. So i lost the plot one day and i just told him everything that was really hurting me. At first we just argued, then i said look i dont want to split up i really want to make it work, but we both have to want to get off our butts and do something about. My fella is good at burying his head and not saying a word. I just got to the point where i knew we were going to split up and i had nothing to lose. It did work for me, so far, i dont know how long it will last but , i am just living day to day at the moment. I think mate, that there are issues in a realationship that can be sorted but then there are issues that cant be resolved. I would sit down and think have we both done everything we possibly could to sort this out. If no, keep trying, if yes i think you need to look inside yourself and think can i live likes this. I hope it gets resolved mate.

Take care.

Clairex

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Tue May 15, 2007 2:00 pm

suilunguk;612110 wrote: Hi mate,

I am really sorry to hear of your hurt. I have very recently been through a make or break in my relationship. I have been with my partner 6 years, he is 29 years older than me. I had a real issue with a family member of his. We did nothing but argue about it every day for a couple of years. I then had a huge blow up with this family member.

Ugh... it really bothers me when family members just don't let you live your life the way you choose and really put the pressure on to be the way they want you to. My fiance is 27 years older than me, and there are some people who think that's wrong, but thankfully all family members on both sides have been respectful about this. You really don't choose who you fall in love with, it chooses you. That's what I believe. As my fiance just said after reading this, family has the right to their opinions, but your relationship is your relationship.

Anyway... back to the thread. I hope everything all works out. You've gotta trust your gut instincts and what you're heart is telling you. If you're conflicted, maybe a little time of thinking it through on both sides will help.

NotToday · Post by **NotToday** » Tue May 15, 2007 4:39 pm

All very good advice, thank you all!! :yh_hugs

Tigerlily · Post by **Tigerlily** » Tue May 15, 2007 4:43 pm

I hope you make the decision that is right for you, Notoday. What a friend of mine says is that you're a long time dead. Don't waste this precious life on something that is wrong for you. Ending a relationship is difficult and upsetting, but it is possible to do it and come through the other side with a better life that you've created yourself.