#3 of Laneybug's Creative Writing Prompts

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:05 am

#3: Choose a poem you like. Take the last line and use that as the first line of your own poem.

I'm not very happy with my effort here. It needs some help but here it is anyway.

I chose "How Do I Love Thee" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

My Soul is Broken. Your Breath is Stilled.

I shall but love thee better after death

you are lain beneath God's earth

raven's stark eye, screeching caw

faint among churchbell peal

memory's shadow in mind's eye

tears upon sodden ground

my soul is broken

your breath is stilled

trick of God

life unfulfilled

KB. · Post by **KB.** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:12 am

Doesn't look like it needs any work to me. You did wonderful, thanks for letting us read it.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:30 am

Very nice shiney girl I do like it

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:34 am

Gosh, thank you KB. :-6

You sure know how to brighten a girl up!

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 11:35 am

Thank you, M!

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:42 pm

Thanks AF!

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Sat Jun 23, 2007 10:54 am

Any more work to that would kill what it is. In it's simplicity it's full of raw energy. To refine it anymore you'd lose the meaning of it.

I like it very much. :-6

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jun 23, 2007 10:57 am

Thanks, Laneybug :-6

I might do a few more. It was pretty fun.

laneybug · Post by **laneybug** » Sun Jun 24, 2007 8:51 pm

I'd love to read whatever you've got, Red.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jun 24, 2007 10:56 pm

laneybug;645210 wrote: I'd love to read whatever you've got, Red.

Thanks Laney. I'm thinking some over. Should have them up soon.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 12:16 am

Okay....first line is from Emily Dickinson's "Life VIII."

The rest is how I feel about a certain someone. I never write rhymes and use proper form. I always write free verse so please excuse the amateurity.

You Know Who You Are

A wounded deer leaps

highest

The thorn bird sings one

song

I would be in my

grave

if you hadn't come

along

You say it's not your

doing

But you weren't here to

see

all I had to say grace

over

and what it had done to

me

Maybe I was

weak

maybe it's a

fraud

maybe it's

you

the glistening

star

in the shining eye of

God.

I'll always hold you

special

You I can never

repay

For turning my forever

night

into the

want

of another

day.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 3:09 pm

Thanks Beth.

Where's yours? :-6

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:30 pm

Hey I'm on a roll...except I cheated: I didn't use any poet's first line.

False Promise

whisper me an elegy

as the crows fly all around

steal the tear from my eye

put it in your wretched crown

the faith i gave you

bore no worth

not there above

nor here on earth

what you have done

to a soul so just

made its heart drip blood

like rain loosens rust

taker of pride

thief of my trust

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 2:33 am

Very nice red!:)

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Jun 28, 2007 6:54 pm

Thank you Tazz. :-6

maccat · Post by **maccat** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 9:50 am

I think youv'e made good use of the words in telling its tale. I would be proud of it myself. well done Red Glitter.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 9:58 am

Why thank you, Maccat! I really appreciate that. :-6