Wee rant

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:42 pm

Yesterday I ventured into one of our local supermarkets, some necessities for the weekend for the purpose of purchasing – get out of the gutter Pinky - I meant rolls and butter and coffee and some drinkies.

Standard operating procedure is that I use a hand-basket instead of a trolley, as that way, when my arm begins to stretch, I've got enough.

Well, I had placed in my little basket assorted munchies and six 500ml bottles of Skullsplitter. I was in the process of studying the display of coffees when I encountered one of the hazards of supermarket shopping – an escaped ankle-biter. This refugee from family life came belting round the corner as if it was trying to break the landspeed record, ran face first into the (wire) hand-basket I was holding, burst its' nose open and rebounded into the woman who was re-stocking the shelf, knocking her onto her posterior.

This little example of (presumably) human genetic misfortune thens collapses on its' bahookie and commences to greet furr its Mammy at what is most likely the highest volume produceable. The Mammy in question then turns up, looking like a refugee from Govan Young Team (for English readers a Chavette, and for Americans a poor Paris Hilton). Said Mammy upon seeing her precious offspring sitting on the floor of the shop covered in blood, proceeds to throw a major hissy fit.

Cue mucho disturbance in store, appearance of managers and under-managers, customer relations persons (Oh yes, and a First-Aider) , threats of court action against, variously, me, the supermarket, the owners of the shopping centre and anybody else in the vicinity.

Laughter ensued, myself saying something like "See ye in court, ya muppet" (or words to that effect).

The Supermarketeers laughed not, they wheeched us (Me, the shelf-stacker, rugrat + Mammy, various managery-type persons and the First-Aider) into the back-shop and then let us view their CCTV in operation. Rugrat an Mammy rugrat enter the supermarket, Mammy collects trolley, then stops to purchase cigarettes - well, prioritise, prioritise – by the time she is served and collects her change, the wean (Wayne) is halfway round the shop, bouncing off me and bleeding all over.

I must ask, why was this ankle-biter not attached to its' Mammy?

I think offsprings should be kept in cages until they display signs of humanity, even then they should be kept on a leash until they are at least 25.

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:44 pm

Who is ranting about urine? :-3 :wah:

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:47 pm

Chookie;639590 wrote: Yesterday I ventured into one of our local supermarkets, some necessities for the weekend for the purpose of purchasing – get out of the gutter Pinky - I meant rolls and butter and coffee and some drinkies.

Standard operating procedure is that I use a hand-basket instead of a trolley, as that way, when my arm begins to stretch, I've got enough.

Well, I had placed in my little basket assorted munchies and six 500ml bottles of Skullsplitter. I was in the process of studying the display of coffees when I encountered one of the hazards of supermarket shopping – an escaped ankle-biter. This refugee from family life came belting round the corner as if it was trying to break the landspeed record, ran face first into the (wire) hand-basket I was holding, burst its' nose open and rebounded into the woman who was re-stocking the shelf, knocking her onto her posterior.

This little example of (presumably) human genetic misfortune thens collapses on its' bahookie and commences to greet furr its Mammy at what is most likely the highest volume produceable. The Mammy in question then turns up, looking like a refugee from Govan Young Team (for English readers a Chavette, and for Americans a poor Paris Hilton). Said Mammy upon seeing her precious offspring sitting on the floor of the shop covered in blood, proceeds to throw a major hissy fit.

Cue mucho disturbance in store, appearance of managers and under-managers, customer relations persons (Oh yes, and a First-Aider) , threats of court action against, variously, me, the supermarket, the owners of the shopping centre and anybody else in the vicinity.

Laughter ensued, myself saying something like "See ye in court, ya muppet" (or words to that effect).

The Supermarketeers laughed not, they wheeched us (Me, the shelf-stacker, rugrat + Mammy, various managery-type persons and the First-Aider) into the back-shop and then let us view their CCTV in operation. Rugrat an Mammy rugrat enter the supermarket, Mammy collects trolley, then stops to purchase cigarettes - well, prioritise, prioritise – by the time she is served and collects her change, the wean (Wayne) is halfway round the shop, bouncing off me and bleeding all over.

I must ask, why was this ankle-biter not attached to its' Mammy?

I think offsprings should be kept in cages until they display signs of humanity, even then they should be kept on a leash until they are at least 25.

LOL The way you worded that. How old was the rugrat? Older they are the harder to keep with you when shopping. That's why I go when I can when my son is at school./

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:51 pm

:wah:

Hope ya taught the little menace a lesson!

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:57 pm

Pinky;639597 wrote: That annoys the hell out of me as well. The amount of times I've nearly been knocked into the freezers by mental kids...I've lost count!

There was one outside Subway in Lowey a few weeks ago, being a total pain in the bum, running around my table, nearly knocking the chairs flying...I noticed a few people standing yakking a little way off, so I got up sub in hand and asked 'Does that belong to any of you lot? If so, can you at least watch where she is? She could run into the road.'

They stared at me like I was an alien or something. I honestly have to question whether some people have anything other than copious amounts of goo filling their craniums.

God, don't get me started on thick people having children.

Argh those parents drive me crazy too. You get little groups forming with women (usually) gasing like they're at a mothers meeting. I hate it when kids scream and cry in shops too because you won't buy them what they want. I always say give them a slap, I would with my son. Luckily for all the problems I have with him, he's never been one to throw a tantrum but I have yet to see about number two. :wah:

Post by **spot** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 2:07 pm

It's only the weight of the gallon of Skullsplitter that saved your life, it should be the first thing you aim to pick up every time you go shopping from now on. And a hatchet from the DIY shelf.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 4:04 pm

I subscribe to the Diogenies school of child management - keep them in a barrel until they're eighteen and then drive in the bung!

[/humbug]

The Rob · Post by **The Rob** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 4:36 pm

I can't stand this sort of thing, and I'm not above broadcasting my disapproval when it's warranted. I'd like a sign to hang on my basket when in the supermarket: Please Control Your Children. I'm Prone To Causing Embarrassment To Ineffectual Parents.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 2:32 am

I liked this :wah:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:02 am

Rapunzel;639787 wrote: I liked this :wah:

Nice one!!

My daughter - usually well behaved and never one to run around like a loon - developed a worrying tendancy when she was little to walk off from me in clothes shops and find a nice big rack of clothes to hide in. Then she used to sit and giggle while I was going frantic looking for her. A few times of being told off in public or dragged outside of the shop and mum doing the 'quietly pissed off' act sorted her out.

At the same time as thinking that badly behaved children should be left at home, I think if you do that then how else are they going to learn what is expected of them? But certain 'types' of parent don't give a toss how their kids behave - they should be left at home instead!

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 10:58 am

Rapunzel;639787 wrote: I liked this :wah:

and if that doesn't scare the pants off the parents then nothing will :yh_rotfl

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 11:38 am

I owned such a child.

I fully believe in the child harness.... Keeps your child safe and shows an inkling of responsiblility on the side of the parent. Crikey it irks me to see parents letting their babies run wild... anyone could have scooped that kid up with it being so far apart from it's parent. And not to mention the BS you went through C.

Attached files

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 11:47 am

minks;640103 wrote: I owned such a child.

I fully believe in the child harness.... Keeps your child safe and shows an inkling of responsiblility on the side of the parent. Crikey it irks me to see parents letting their babies run wild... anyone could have scooped that kid up with it being so far apart from it's parent. And not to mention the BS you went through C.

An essential item of equipment IMHO.

but I didn't think you owned them - just borrowed them for a wee while.

Chookie · Post by **Chookie** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 11:50 am

A little-known fact is that insanity is hereditary

- you get it from your kids.

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:02 pm

Chookie;640111 wrote: A little-known fact is that insanity is hereditary

- you get it from your kids.

So so true! :wah:

DelicateDominatrix · Post by **DelicateDominatrix** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:06 pm

Oh dear lol

Thanks for sharing that story.

Some parents do let their kids get out of controll for sure.

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:06 pm

Bryn Mawr;640109 wrote: An essential item of equipment IMHO.

but I didn't think you owned them - just borrowed them for a wee while.

when can I give her back??