How honest are you?

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:28 am

My tell the truth thing got me thinking about how honest people are in general. Hypothetical situation - a friend wants to sing for a living, its her dream, she's nothing special, no wow factor but she is good. Do you tell her this or not? Just how honest would you be?

I'd outright tell her even if it hurt her feelings but wtf do i know about singing

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:31 am

I'd tell her she had a chance and try to be encouraging.

I wouldn't tell her she was less than stellar.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:33 am

You would go along to auditions? After a few knockbacks would you tell her then?

How much would you watch her suffer Red? :sneaky:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:39 am

If she thought she was good, I'd let her keep thinking it. Yes, I'd go to auditions and support her and cheer her on, maybe suggest voice lessons as a means to improve her chances (sneaky I know) but I wouldn't tell her she wasn't very good. I think in this case, if she were that bad, after a while she would know it, if by just picking up people's clues. I think this is one of those times where it's more important to spare the person's feelings than it is to be direct.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:43 am

I understand where you are coming from but i'd personally feel like a hypocrite if i went along to auditions ect knowing she was crap.

I always hope my friends will be completely honest with me as i am with them.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:49 am

I've never really believed in absolute honesty. I know there are some people who really want that, but I still err on the side of feelings. I don't think I'd feel like a hypocrite....at least I haven't ever so far and I definitely don't feel like a liar even though what I'd be saying would be seen as a white lie. Then again, it depends on the circumstances. There are other scenarios where I would have to come clean.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:00 am

There's probably not a nice way to say your 'CRAP' Angel :wah:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:22 am

AngelEyes82;650316 wrote: you're a piece of sh!t too. wtf

Uh....Susie, you know Buttercup was kidding right? She wasn't saying YOU were crap, she was saying there's not a nice way to tell your friend who can't sing that she's crap. :-6

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:24 am

Oh well at least i know where i stand with Angel in future :wah:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:30 am

Aside from the occasional claim that Im in charge of the UN now or I single handedly saved the rain forest Im honest.

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:33 am

Funny topic.

Having been a musician for 32 years I've seen the good, bad and downright ugly. Off the top pf my head, I would tell them so as to spare them any further pain, but,

One of my closest friends was not the greatest vocalists but we never said anything. We just kept his mic low.

Turns out when this guy cut a solo demo he came off sounding like Peter Gabriel.

Ya never know.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:41 am

almostfamous;650314 wrote: I'm probably the most like Terri. I don't see any reason to hurt someone's feelings unnecessarily if they're not doing anyone harm. Now, if I know they will be embarrassing the living sh!t out of themselves then brutal honesty is on auto pilot

Thats not been my experience. Youve allowed me to make an ass of myself from day 1.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:14 pm

My tell the truth thing got me thinking about how honest people are in general. Hypothetical situation - a friend wants to sing for a living, its her dream, she's nothing special, no wow factor but she is good. Do you tell her this or not? Just how honest would you be?

I'd probably tell her singing needn't be something she depends on to earn her living. Music is a notoriously difficult way to live by, you have to be blessed with the right amount of talent to be noticed, you have to appeal to your intended auddience in a hugely competitive market, & you need a heck of a lot of luck & circumstances in your favour to succeed. The entertainment world is a fickle one even at the best of times.

Rather I'd suggest she keeps it as a hobby, a means of self expression, maybe even an escape from 'real life'. That way she can still enjoy her dream. But to rely on it 100% I think is looking for disater & major disillusionment if the dream does turn out to be unrealistic. You say she's nothing special, well that description could fit many amateur musicians, but as her hobby she wouldn't need to compete in the tough, hard, cut & thrust world of professional music. She'd still be able to do it & enjoy it, but that way she could keep control of her life. The saying 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' comes to mind.

You don't say how old she is. If she's in the teen/early 20s age range she may be idealistic but not realistic. I'd encourage her to go for what is sometimes called a 'proper' job. But what she does in her own time I say best of luck to her.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:34 am

She doesent actually exist Joe, it was hypothetical. Your advice to her was good :-6

DelicateDominatrix · Post by **DelicateDominatrix** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:28 pm

I'm very honest.I don't like to lie.