just looking for some advice real quick...

robby · Post by **robby** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:10 pm

i couldn't think of a title so yeah...

hey,

i'm not sure what to expect by posting here and asking for advice on something, but what the hell....

So, lot me set up my situation:

Every summer my family and i meet up with another the family to go on a week long beach trip. They aren't blood relatives, but they are related through some complicated adoption/divorce/remarriage thing... Our two families have been doing this for 8 years or so, since like 3rd grade for me (im 17 now; everyone else is about my age ~6 months)

anyways, jaci and donny are the other family's two children. For the past 8 years it'd been all the adults, jaci, one of jaci's friends, donny, and me. In the past, i've been pretty shy, i guess. I've just hung around with donny all these times. It's not like jaci and her friends think im some weirdo/shy geek person, i've been pretty cool when hanging out with donny and the girls and all.

this year donny isn't going to be coming on the beach trip, and no other guy my age will be there. I know that jaci and her friend erica are coming though. i am actually kinda shy when im not with friends/people i know. i never really know how to start a conversation/not seem like some creepy loser/talk with girls when im alone. i dont care to get into any sort of romantic relationship with jaci or erica, i just dont want to look like some loser/social outcast. i want to have some fun, talk, hang out with them and not just sit infront of the tv alone for a week.

any advice would be appreciated.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:20 pm

Hi Robby! Welcome to FG! :yh_peace

I would suggest you try to talk about things you have in common. The girls are close to your age, right? What do you like to do? Music? Movies? Sports? Computers? Video games? Do you know what the girls are into? Read a book before you go, and bring that up. (Girls are impressed with guys who read, trust me on this one, I have a 16 year old son, and a 14 year old step-daughter.)

Ask the girls to go into town (if it's that kind of place) and hit an arcade or see a movie. Bring some CD's and compare your tastes in music. Find out what they like to do on-line. There's TONS of stuff for you to talk about, but just remember one thing. Don't try TOO hard, and always, ALWAYS....be you. (OK, so that's 2 things) Don't try to impress. And it sounds to me like you won't have any trouble, since you're thoughtful enough to try and get some ideas about how to converse with the girls. I'm impressed!! You'll do great. The anticipation is worse than the actual event will be. But now you have to come back after and let us know how it went!! :yh_bigsmi

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:21 pm

Do you have a buddy from school or the neighborhood that your parents

would let you invite along? That might be more fun for you... and your

buddy!!

:-6

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Tue May 23, 2006 8:51 pm

Hey there Robby--and welcome...:-6 stick around- after we figure out your "issue" HA HA...we love young blood here -you can bring some great insight to our not-so closed minds....

Anyway--music is good...my kids sit around for hours and talk about it..also- grab a portable DVD player and hang out watching movies...but like BR said--Honey-just be yourself! You are 17 years old..if I was a mom looking in on this -I would be thinking..damn this is Robby's last summer vaca with us--he is going off to school next year blah blah blah....Just enjoy yourself..Really--its about family time and at 17 -and your willing to go, that means you are one heck of a great young man! Have a good time and post when you get back...but stick around until then...We are a really good group here!! :-4 Nice to meet ya.....Mom

robby · Post by **robby** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:22 pm

BabyRider:

Wow, thanks for the quick reply and advice!

I gotta admit, I feel more confident already!

I suppose I should find a good book to read, as the only ones I've read recently were for school. Any suggestions on something that'd be good? (I'm pretty much open to any genre).

I'm working on a story of my own right now, actually. Do you think that they'd like that? Not trying to brag or anything, this just floated into my mind. (I'm actually a bit tentative about talking to people about it; I just feel odd describing it to people sometimes.)

Music...movies...definately...

valerie:

Thanks for the reply! I was thinking about doing that and all but when I talked with my parents about doing that they basically said 'no' because we're technically we're the ones being invited to come to the beach, as the other family has been doing it for longer (and actually invited us) + pays most of the cost of the trip.

But hey, I guess it'll be good for me to practice being social instead of blending in with the crowd.

mominiowa:

Thanks for the reply and advice! Music, movies; this doesn't seem too intimidating any more, sounds easy enough!

Maybe kayaking to some island would be good too, or some of the amusment parks. Hmm...

Thnanks for the advice everybody!

I'll be sure to stick around here, although I do have final exams right now so I might be busy for a while (better study).

If all goes well I'll bring back news of how it went, maybe pictures too (Atlantic Beach, NC is the place. It's pretty nice there).

Oh, and thanks for the welcomes everybody!

(P.S. I originally tried posting this on MySpace and, ugh, not my best online experience. :rolleyes: I think that I'll stick to soley friends there, no more "advice.")

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Tue May 23, 2006 10:58 pm

robby wrote: I'm working on a story of my own right now, actually. Do you think that they'd like that? Not trying to brag or anything, this just floated into my mind. (I'm actually a bit tentative about talking to people about it; I just feel odd describing it to people sometimes.)

What kind of story is it, if I can ask. (Don't answer, if you're not comfortable talking about it.) I think talking about your story to people your own age is a great idea. They may have some input or ideas for you that may not have come to you yet. Plus, they'd think it was cool. I would, if I was a 16-17 year-old girl. Heck, I'm a 35 year old girl and I think it's pretty cool. And if you put it to them in a way that shows you're open and responsive to their input, that much the better.

As for the book suggestion...I'm not sure....hmm...I'm a big Stephen King fan and his favorite 2 of mine were "The Talisman" and "Black House" (the sequel to "The Talisman.") co-written by King and Peter Straub. It deals with parallel universes which I find totally fascinating. You have to read "The Talisman" before you read the sequel though, and it's a LONG book. But a great story.

And I'm sure the girls are just as into music and movies as you are. Once the conversation starts, I'd be willing to bet that it just flows right along, and you'll be comfortable in no time.

Just don't forget: You really have to come back and tell us how it went. I'm sure you're going to have a great time. Just relax and be yourself, like I said.

robby · Post by **robby** » Tue May 23, 2006 11:42 pm

BabyRider

I always have a hard time trying classify my story, but hmm...I guess I'd consider it to be a tragedy. It's set in the fantasy world of Tamriel (from the Xbox game Morrowind; never thought I'd be so interested in some videogame's setting + lore) and tells the story of a city from its creation to its final demise. This is my first work of this sort, so I'm learning as I go. Right now I'm just developing the history, the people, the location, etc. The city's story stands for the story of its founder; a story of great hopes then to disaster to a victory over the disaster and then only to be torn apart by itself. I hope that wasn't too confusing.

The books you suggested definately sounds worth reading; I'll certainly be heading over to the bookstore!

Thanks for such kind words

It's getting late here...I'd better be off to bed. G'night all.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed May 24, 2006 12:08 am

Hi robby....loads of good advice here so I'll just say welcome to FG and hope you have a good vacation

( I like Vals suggestion to take a buddy...can you pursue this with you parents) :-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed May 24, 2006 1:18 am

Hey buddy, everyone feels like this from time to time. Others feel like this all the time. It would be good to work through it so you dont have to deal with the uncomfortableness your whole life. I was the same way and still sometimes am.

I can only tell you what I do. I listen. When someone talks to you, really listen to what they are saying. During that time relax your breathing and pick out some key points that they talked about and then ask questions. It shows your intereted in them, and of course people like that. If they think your interested in them that makes you more interesting to them. That leads to good conversation.

Also dont think too much about what you say, dont overanalyze your words. Just let yourself go a little bit.

The most important thing to remember is that you belong there. Your as important as every other person there. No one has anything over on you. So go in with the right attitude and you should be fine.

And if you say something stupid, forget about it, its ok to laugh at yourself.

Make sense ?

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Thu Jul 05, 2007 12:56 pm

Nomad is right,be a good listener,people love to talk about themselves.When I was seventeen...many moons ago,I was very shy,and would blush if anyone spoke to me. I am hardly an extrovert now,I am not comfortable with more than two people if I do not know them well,I hate being the centre of attention.

Forget about youself girls are just people and have their own insecurities.I bet you will get along well together as you will all have a lot in common.

Have a great holiday.

mia

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:01 pm

Mia;654038 wrote: Nomad is right,be a good listener,people love to talk about themselves.When I was seventeen...many moons ago,I was very shy,and would blush if anyone spoke to me. I am hardly an extrovert now,I am not comfortable with more than two people if I do not know them well,I hate being the centre of attention.

Forget about youself girls are just people and have their own insecurities.I bet you will get along well together as you will all have a lot in common.

Have a great holiday.

mia

The orginal post is a while go Mia, don't think that person is posting here anymore :-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:03 pm

This is so embarrassing.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Thu Jul 05, 2007 1:58 pm

The orginal poster is probably married by now with 12 kids , has a condo on the beach and is a CEO of the comapny he works at...............:wah:

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:51 pm

LOL thanks for telling me.Well maybe the thread will help some other poor shy kid.

Mia creeps of to a corner,and draws a pic on the floor with her toe.:-2

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:00 am

i remember when i was 17 if a girl even spoke to me i'd go crimson ,i had zero confidence

i stopped going red when i was about 20

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:04 am

I can never imagine you as a shy boy Jimbo.Goes to show getting older has it's benefits.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:12 am

actually i lied the last time i went really red ,my friend Gary turner was fighting American superstar tank abbot at cage rage ,there were these two stunning models about 6 feet tall ,i tried taking a sneaky picture too send the lads but the model on the right saw me and started posing ,then Suzy's big voice boomed out ,he wants a picture with you but is to shy to ask ,they come and stood either side of my my face was burning off i felt like a purvey weirdo (no offence nomad )

still flustered i walked off through a massive line of about three hundred people i saw my mate Gary and just walked up and shook his hand and started talking to him ,i looked up and saw all these people just glaring at me ,then Suzy pointed out that the line of people were there trying to get Gary's photo and autograph and I'd just walked through and to the front of the line DOH DOH DOH DOH

http://s167.photobucket.com/albums/u123 ... t=oops.jpg

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jul 06, 2007 12:18 am

Mia;654247 wrote: LOL thanks for telling me.Well maybe the thread will help some other poor shy kid.

Mia creeps of to a corner,and draws a pic on the floor with her toe.:-2
Oh heck Mia, we've probably all done it.