How much of your present life circumstances can be attributable to certain choices that you yourself have made versus someone or something else being the cause? We can't always be responsible for certain of our health problems
for example, but it's my belief that in most cases, much of our present life circumstances is due to either some bad choices that we have made, or some good ones. What do you believe?
Choices
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Absolutely! Including the choice to 'go along to get along', which is the one that's always gotten me in trouble.
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I definitely believe we are responsible for our own lives. We're responsible for how we choose to deal with each obstacle life throws us, and responsible for our own happiness or lack of happiness. You can either choose to change your life if you don't like it, or you can sit there, blaming others, waiting for a change that will probably never happen.
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I think our own fate is a direct result of how we cope with the decisions we make through life and how we cope or don't cope with he consequences.
I think that regret and how we handle it also has a lot of effect on our lives: do we dwell on past mistakes or do we learn from them and forget? I have a lot of regrets and some of them i still suffer from. But, I believe, I am making a real effort to eliminate regret from my life and I am learning to live for the future.
I think that regret and how we handle it also has a lot of effect on our lives: do we dwell on past mistakes or do we learn from them and forget? I have a lot of regrets and some of them i still suffer from. But, I believe, I am making a real effort to eliminate regret from my life and I am learning to live for the future.
Behaviour breeds behaviour - treat people how you would like to be treated yourself
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Lon;661464 wrote: How much of your present life circumstances can be attributable to certain choices that you yourself have made versus someone or something else being the cause? We can't always be responsible for certain of our health problems
for example, but it's my belief that in most cases, much of our present life circumstances is due to either some bad choices that we have made, or some good ones. What do you believe?
Its not that black and white Lon. While ultimately we must take responsibility for our own lives, many things, some subtle some not, factor into the people we become.
Deciding who it is we want to be may seem like a simple enough life choice for some but for others there are hurdles and obstacles. sometimes mountains to climb, claw and grope up, over, around.
A simple rule of thumb for me is Ive no idea what it is to walk in another mans shoes.
I do think that the sooner we can accept responsibility for whatever state we find ourselves in the easier the hill will be to climb.
Sometimes that is easier said than done though.
for example, but it's my belief that in most cases, much of our present life circumstances is due to either some bad choices that we have made, or some good ones. What do you believe?
Its not that black and white Lon. While ultimately we must take responsibility for our own lives, many things, some subtle some not, factor into the people we become.
Deciding who it is we want to be may seem like a simple enough life choice for some but for others there are hurdles and obstacles. sometimes mountains to climb, claw and grope up, over, around.
A simple rule of thumb for me is Ive no idea what it is to walk in another mans shoes.
I do think that the sooner we can accept responsibility for whatever state we find ourselves in the easier the hill will be to climb.
Sometimes that is easier said than done though.
I AM AWESOME MAN
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good grief ,as if any choses to have love ones murdered ,die in house fires or due to hospital blunders 
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magenta flame;661634 wrote: that's what I mean by circumstance and society jimbo 
gotcha
what worries me is your the only one who seems to make sense to me on this thread :yh_nailbi :yh_nailbi
gotcha
what worries me is your the only one who seems to make sense to me on this thread :yh_nailbi :yh_nailbi
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Does no one here believe in fate or universal manifestation?
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magenta flame;661622 wrote: YOu know, I have never despised a person more for doing that.
Acc that's not personal but perhaps a interpretation of how I see those words:)
I can't tell if you agree or disagree with me, perhaps because my post isn't clear enough, either.
People think taking the 'go along to get along' path absolves them of responsibility. They couldn't be more wrong. In fact, it is a decision just like any other, with consequences to deal with and everything.
Acc that's not personal but perhaps a interpretation of how I see those words:)
I can't tell if you agree or disagree with me, perhaps because my post isn't clear enough, either.
People think taking the 'go along to get along' path absolves them of responsibility. They couldn't be more wrong. In fact, it is a decision just like any other, with consequences to deal with and everything.
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jimbo;661628 wrote: good grief ,as if any choses to have love ones murdered ,die in house fires or due to hospital blunders HUH? :-2
Lon asked, "How much of your present life circumstances can be attributable to certain choices that you yourself have made versus someone or something else being the cause?" Clearly, he - and I, for that matter - acknowledges that sometimes circumstances outside of our control have profound impacts on our lives. But you have to agree that our own decisions have an impact as well, don't you? Even more, imo, because we have to decide how we will react to the murder of our loved ones or to hospital blunders. Don't you agree?
HUH? :-2 Lon asked, "How much of your present life circumstances can be attributable to certain choices that you yourself have made versus someone or something else being the cause?" Clearly, he - and I, for that matter - acknowledges that sometimes circumstances outside of our control have profound impacts on our lives. But you have to agree that our own decisions have an impact as well, don't you? Even more, imo, because we have to decide how we will react to the murder of our loved ones or to hospital blunders. Don't you agree?
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jimbo;661628 wrote: good grief ,as if any choses to have love ones murdered ,die in house fires or due to hospital blunders
Excellent point there Jimbo. My first thought was, "but it's your choice how you cope with those situations", but then again, we all grieve differently. I hope I never have to find out how I would deal with those scenarios.
Excellent point there Jimbo. My first thought was, "but it's your choice how you cope with those situations", but then again, we all grieve differently. I hope I never have to find out how I would deal with those scenarios.
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magenta flame;661692 wrote: Yes yes that's all very good, you obviously, and lon have the answer to all this ...................................waiting to hear the impecable solution
Got a problem? You can decide to be snide or to join in the conversation. Either one has consequences.
Got a problem? You can decide to be snide or to join in the conversation. Either one has consequences.
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magenta flame;661705 wrote: yes but you still havent answered my question
nice to see the box, but really, can't we step outside for a minute?
I went back over all your posts in this thread and only found one question mark - this one.
What question would you like me to answer?
nice to see the box, but really, can't we step outside for a minute?
I went back over all your posts in this thread and only found one question mark - this one.
What question would you like me to answer?
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Lon;661464 wrote: How much of your present life circumstances can be attributable to certain choices that you yourself have made versus someone or something else being the cause? We can't always be responsible for certain of our health problems
for example, but it's my belief that in most cases, much of our present life circumstances is due to either some bad choices that we have made, or some good ones. What do you believe?
I can definitely say that before I had ill health my life circumstances were mostly down to the life choices I was making, I loved the fact that if something was making me unhappy I seemed to have the enthusiasm to set about changing it.
I no longer seem to have the drive or the strength to keep fighting for the changes which I need, I hate the fact that I have to depend on others (state, Dr's etc) to try and make life worthwhile. I have done nothing over the last 3 weeks but cry, I am sick to death with feeling as though I have an uphill battle, everyday brings yet another stumbling block.
Oh to be young again :rolleyes:
for example, but it's my belief that in most cases, much of our present life circumstances is due to either some bad choices that we have made, or some good ones. What do you believe?
I can definitely say that before I had ill health my life circumstances were mostly down to the life choices I was making, I loved the fact that if something was making me unhappy I seemed to have the enthusiasm to set about changing it.
I no longer seem to have the drive or the strength to keep fighting for the changes which I need, I hate the fact that I have to depend on others (state, Dr's etc) to try and make life worthwhile. I have done nothing over the last 3 weeks but cry, I am sick to death with feeling as though I have an uphill battle, everyday brings yet another stumbling block.
Oh to be young again :rolleyes:
I am nobody..nobody is perfect...therefore I must be Perfect!
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magenta flame;661623 wrote: There are choices, then there are circumstances. And then there is circumstances and choices within the society you live.
It's easy to make a deliberation of someone's chioces based on the society they live but then you have circumstance. ANd which society do you know of in which to cast a judgement.
it made sense when I typed it
No one has made a judgement at this point. What circumstances are you talking about? I am trying to understand your post in relation to my original post. Help me out.
It's easy to make a deliberation of someone's chioces based on the society they live but then you have circumstance. ANd which society do you know of in which to cast a judgement.
it made sense when I typed it
No one has made a judgement at this point. What circumstances are you talking about? I am trying to understand your post in relation to my original post. Help me out.
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RedGlitter;661670 wrote: Does no one here believe in fate or universal manifestation?
If we accept that certain things happen to us in our life due to fate or universal manifestation, couldn't that possibly be a form of rationalization for either making or not making right choices?
If we accept that certain things happen to us in our life due to fate or universal manifestation, couldn't that possibly be a form of rationalization for either making or not making right choices?
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Lon;661839 wrote: If we accept that certain things happen to us in our life due to fate or universal manifestation, couldn't that possibly be a form of rationalization for either making or not making right choices?
It could be, yes, although I don't think always so. I think there are certain things that happen to us through no fault or rather,doing, of our own. What I'm thinking of here for example, would be me visiting a 7-11 and being there when somebody comes in to hold up the store. Maybe I end up shot. We could say that was fate or destiny or just something in the universe that involved me- wrong place wrong time....or we could say if I hadn't had to have that Slurpee, I wouldn't have even been in the 7-11 so it was my choice to be there.
I just asked about fate to see if anyone considered it feasible. But yes, I do think that for the most part, a person influences their own life with their own choices made and to answer your original question, I am not good with percentages so I'll just say that most of my life is the way it is because of my own choices.
It could be, yes, although I don't think always so. I think there are certain things that happen to us through no fault or rather,doing, of our own. What I'm thinking of here for example, would be me visiting a 7-11 and being there when somebody comes in to hold up the store. Maybe I end up shot. We could say that was fate or destiny or just something in the universe that involved me- wrong place wrong time....or we could say if I hadn't had to have that Slurpee, I wouldn't have even been in the 7-11 so it was my choice to be there.
I just asked about fate to see if anyone considered it feasible. But yes, I do think that for the most part, a person influences their own life with their own choices made and to answer your original question, I am not good with percentages so I'll just say that most of my life is the way it is because of my own choices.
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RedGlitter;661849 wrote: It could be, yes, although I don't think always so. I think there are certain things that happen to us through no fault or rather,doing, of our own. What I'm thinking of here for example, would be me visiting a 7-11 and being there when somebody comes in to hold up the store. Maybe I end up shot. We could say that was fate or destiny or just something in the universe that involved me- wrong place wrong time....or we could say if I hadn't had to have that Slurpee, I wouldn't have even been in the 7-11 so it was my choice to be there.
I just asked about fate to see if anyone considered it feasible. But yes, I do think that for the most part, a person influences their own life with their own choices made and to answer your original question, I am not good with percentages so I'll just say that most of my life is the way it is because of my own choices.
That's an honest answer.
I just asked about fate to see if anyone considered it feasible. But yes, I do think that for the most part, a person influences their own life with their own choices made and to answer your original question, I am not good with percentages so I'll just say that most of my life is the way it is because of my own choices.
That's an honest answer.
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So when something horrific happens to a child - is it their fault. What wrong choices did they make?
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ThePheasant;661857 wrote: So when something horrific happens to a child - is it their fault. What wrong choices did they make?
Let's say a parent leaves a child asleep in a hot car while in the market for 20 minutes and the child dies of suffocation due to heat. It was the parent's choice to leave the child in the car, was it not?
Let's say a parent leaves a child asleep in a hot car while in the market for 20 minutes and the child dies of suffocation due to heat. It was the parent's choice to leave the child in the car, was it not?
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Lon;661867 wrote: Let's say a parent leaves a child asleep in a hot car while in the market for 20 minutes and the child dies of suffocation due to heat. It was the parent's choice to leave the child in the car, was it not?
Yes the parents choice! But I thought you were talking about peoples own lifes, not their parents. What wrong choice did the child make?
A child is out playing in the yard, gets kidnapped and is abused. What wrong choices did 'the child' make? What did he/she do, to set off this series of events? Leaving the house to play in the yard...don't get me started on what could happen in a childs own home!
I agree that how we deal with certain events that have happened to us, is our choice. Not however, that we are always in control of what happens and that it is our fault.
Maybe I misreading OP :-3
Yes the parents choice! But I thought you were talking about peoples own lifes, not their parents. What wrong choice did the child make?
A child is out playing in the yard, gets kidnapped and is abused. What wrong choices did 'the child' make? What did he/she do, to set off this series of events? Leaving the house to play in the yard...don't get me started on what could happen in a childs own home!
I agree that how we deal with certain events that have happened to us, is our choice. Not however, that we are always in control of what happens and that it is our fault.
Maybe I misreading OP :-3
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Lon;661464 wrote: How much of your present life circumstances can be attributable to certain choices that you yourself have made versus someone or something else being the cause? We can't always be responsible for certain of our health problems
for example, but it's my belief that in most cases, much of our present life circumstances is due to either some bad choices that we have made, or some good ones. What do you believe?
I always maintained life was about choices, and seeing as I am sound of mind (most days) I would say almost all of my life circumstances are due to the choices I made. Certainly I have been tossed a few monkey wrenches along the way but hey I then had to make "different choices" No we can't always be responsible for certain health problems or other things too, especially when you share a life with another.... my example, divorce. Mine was ugly, nasty and draining in many many ways, however at the point of absolute dispair I had 2 choices sink or swin..... And with every choice we make we have consequences which then leads to more choices.
We lead our lives by the choices we make every day.
for example, but it's my belief that in most cases, much of our present life circumstances is due to either some bad choices that we have made, or some good ones. What do you believe?
I always maintained life was about choices, and seeing as I am sound of mind (most days) I would say almost all of my life circumstances are due to the choices I made. Certainly I have been tossed a few monkey wrenches along the way but hey I then had to make "different choices" No we can't always be responsible for certain health problems or other things too, especially when you share a life with another.... my example, divorce. Mine was ugly, nasty and draining in many many ways, however at the point of absolute dispair I had 2 choices sink or swin..... And with every choice we make we have consequences which then leads to more choices.
We lead our lives by the choices we make every day.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
• Mae West
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Well I'm back and still rattling this issue around.
I am not one to blame everything on outside influences however I can't think about this subject without thinking of how God/Nature/Cosmic Force/Etc plays a role in it. If you don't believe in any of those things then it's not a concern obviously but for someone like me who does...
I was thinking of "Joni," a girl back in the 70s who became a quadroplegic in a diving accident. She took up sketching by using her teeth. She was brilliant with it. She "got with God" and felt that God had let this happen to her so that she could preach to others about being Christian and how God works in mysterious ways, yada.
A lot of people will say that's bunk. A crutch even. That she chose to dive and hit a rock. Her doing. But what really made her want to take that dive? Is there some giant hand stuck in our collective back, puppeting us to make these choices so we can serve purposes only God (etc) knows about?
I think so myself. Maybe it's just my spiritual bend that feels that way but I figure there must be something bigger than myself. It would be absurd (in my opinion) to think otherwise. Now that's not a slam toward any nonbelievers or anyone who might take offense for some reason. That's just my own take on it.
Have I made any sense? :-3
I am not one to blame everything on outside influences however I can't think about this subject without thinking of how God/Nature/Cosmic Force/Etc plays a role in it. If you don't believe in any of those things then it's not a concern obviously but for someone like me who does...
I was thinking of "Joni," a girl back in the 70s who became a quadroplegic in a diving accident. She took up sketching by using her teeth. She was brilliant with it. She "got with God" and felt that God had let this happen to her so that she could preach to others about being Christian and how God works in mysterious ways, yada.
A lot of people will say that's bunk. A crutch even. That she chose to dive and hit a rock. Her doing. But what really made her want to take that dive? Is there some giant hand stuck in our collective back, puppeting us to make these choices so we can serve purposes only God (etc) knows about?
I think so myself. Maybe it's just my spiritual bend that feels that way but I figure there must be something bigger than myself. It would be absurd (in my opinion) to think otherwise. Now that's not a slam toward any nonbelievers or anyone who might take offense for some reason. That's just my own take on it.
Have I made any sense? :-3
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RedGlitter;661916 wrote: Well I'm back and still rattling this issue around.
I am not one to blame everything on outside influences however I can't think about this subject without thinking of how God/Nature/Cosmic Force/Etc plays a role in it. If you don't believe in any of those things then it's not a concern obviously but for someone like me who does...
I was thinking of "Joni," a girl back in the 70s who became a quadroplegic in a diving accident. She took up sketching by using her teeth. She was brilliant with it. She "got with God" and felt that God had let this happen to her so that she could preach to others about being Christian and how God works in mysterious ways, yada.
A lot of people will say that's bunk. A crutch even. That she chose to dive and hit a rock. Her doing. But what really made her want to take that dive? Is there some giant hand stuck in our collective back, puppeting us to make these choices so we can serve purposes only God (etc) knows about?
I think so myself. Maybe it's just my spiritual bend that feels that way but I figure there must be something bigger than myself. It would be absurd (in my opinion) to think otherwise. Now that's not a slam toward any nonbelievers or anyone who might take offense for some reason. That's just my own take on it.
Have I made any sense? :-3
yes you make sense
but how does one "giant hand" puppetmaster master each and every person on the planet under every circumstance we encounter? Wow they would be busy.
I am not one to blame everything on outside influences however I can't think about this subject without thinking of how God/Nature/Cosmic Force/Etc plays a role in it. If you don't believe in any of those things then it's not a concern obviously but for someone like me who does...
I was thinking of "Joni," a girl back in the 70s who became a quadroplegic in a diving accident. She took up sketching by using her teeth. She was brilliant with it. She "got with God" and felt that God had let this happen to her so that she could preach to others about being Christian and how God works in mysterious ways, yada.
A lot of people will say that's bunk. A crutch even. That she chose to dive and hit a rock. Her doing. But what really made her want to take that dive? Is there some giant hand stuck in our collective back, puppeting us to make these choices so we can serve purposes only God (etc) knows about?
I think so myself. Maybe it's just my spiritual bend that feels that way but I figure there must be something bigger than myself. It would be absurd (in my opinion) to think otherwise. Now that's not a slam toward any nonbelievers or anyone who might take offense for some reason. That's just my own take on it.
Have I made any sense? :-3
yes you make sense
but how does one "giant hand" puppetmaster master each and every person on the planet under every circumstance we encounter? Wow they would be busy.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
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minks;661921 wrote: yes you make sense
but how does one "giant hand" puppetmaster master each and every person on the planet under every circumstance we encounter? Wow they would be busy.
Well...that's God.
That's my personal answer and I say it respectfully of anyone who doesn't go for that. I'm not here to preach what I think, just offering my views.
How about if we just call it cosmic energy? The same stuff that makes the wind blow and the trees grow?
but how does one "giant hand" puppetmaster master each and every person on the planet under every circumstance we encounter? Wow they would be busy.
Well...that's God.
That's my personal answer and I say it respectfully of anyone who doesn't go for that. I'm not here to preach what I think, just offering my views.
How about if we just call it cosmic energy? The same stuff that makes the wind blow and the trees grow?
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ThePheasant;661874 wrote: Yes the parents choice! But I thought you were talking about peoples own lifes, not their parents. What wrong choice did the child make?
A child is out playing in the yard, gets kidnapped and is abused. What wrong choices did 'the child' make? What did he/she do, to set off this series of events? Leaving the house to play in the yard...don't get me started on what could happen in a childs own home!
I agree that how we deal with certain events that have happened to us, is our choice. Not however, that we are always in control of what happens and that it is our fault.
Maybe I misreading OP :-3
A child, except in very limited ways is not capable of making responsible decisions or choices for themselves and is dependent on someone else (a parent) to make those decisions for them.
My original posts refers to those that are capable of making their own choices.
A child is out playing in the yard, gets kidnapped and is abused. What wrong choices did 'the child' make? What did he/she do, to set off this series of events? Leaving the house to play in the yard...don't get me started on what could happen in a childs own home!
I agree that how we deal with certain events that have happened to us, is our choice. Not however, that we are always in control of what happens and that it is our fault.
Maybe I misreading OP :-3
A child, except in very limited ways is not capable of making responsible decisions or choices for themselves and is dependent on someone else (a parent) to make those decisions for them.
My original posts refers to those that are capable of making their own choices.
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RedGlitter;661916 wrote: Well I'm back and still rattling this issue around.
I am not one to blame everything on outside influences however I can't think about this subject without thinking of how God/Nature/Cosmic Force/Etc plays a role in it. If you don't believe in any of those things then it's not a concern obviously but for someone like me who does...
I was thinking of "Joni," a girl back in the 70s who became a quadroplegic in a diving accident. She took up sketching by using her teeth. She was brilliant with it. She "got with God" and felt that God had let this happen to her so that she could preach to others about being Christian and how God works in mysterious ways, yada.
A lot of people will say that's bunk. A crutch even. That she chose to dive and hit a rock. Her doing. But what really made her want to take that dive? Is there some giant hand stuck in our collective back, puppeting us to make these choices so we can serve purposes only God (etc) knows about?
I think so myself. Maybe it's just my spiritual bend that feels that way but I figure there must be something bigger than myself. It would be absurd (in my opinion) to think otherwise. Now that's not a slam toward any nonbelievers or anyone who might take offense for some reason. That's just my own take on it.
Have I made any sense? :-3
There are those of a spiritual and esoteric nature that would agree with you, I am not one of them however. Neither way of thinking is right or wrong, just different, but it does affect our attitudes and opinions about people and events.
I am not one to blame everything on outside influences however I can't think about this subject without thinking of how God/Nature/Cosmic Force/Etc plays a role in it. If you don't believe in any of those things then it's not a concern obviously but for someone like me who does...
I was thinking of "Joni," a girl back in the 70s who became a quadroplegic in a diving accident. She took up sketching by using her teeth. She was brilliant with it. She "got with God" and felt that God had let this happen to her so that she could preach to others about being Christian and how God works in mysterious ways, yada.
A lot of people will say that's bunk. A crutch even. That she chose to dive and hit a rock. Her doing. But what really made her want to take that dive? Is there some giant hand stuck in our collective back, puppeting us to make these choices so we can serve purposes only God (etc) knows about?
I think so myself. Maybe it's just my spiritual bend that feels that way but I figure there must be something bigger than myself. It would be absurd (in my opinion) to think otherwise. Now that's not a slam toward any nonbelievers or anyone who might take offense for some reason. That's just my own take on it.
Have I made any sense? :-3
There are those of a spiritual and esoteric nature that would agree with you, I am not one of them however. Neither way of thinking is right or wrong, just different, but it does affect our attitudes and opinions about people and events.
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magenta flame;661768 wrote: sometimes you think people will catch on but alas they are too stupid to see the difference.
shame really because you just took away something that had actual an deliberate meaning
well I hope you all have a good time, being in a moment of time, for someone else.
Hey, I remember those conversations!
"What're you mad at me for?"
"You know!"
"No I don't."
"Well if you don't know I'm not gonna tell ya."
I'm glad I married a mature woman & those conversations are a far distant memory.
shame really because you just took away something that had actual an deliberate meaning
well I hope you all have a good time, being in a moment of time, for someone else.
Hey, I remember those conversations!
"What're you mad at me for?"
"You know!"
"No I don't."
"Well if you don't know I'm not gonna tell ya."
I'm glad I married a mature woman & those conversations are a far distant memory.
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ThePheasant;661874 wrote: Yes the parents choice! But I thought you were talking about peoples own lifes, not their parents. What wrong choice did the child make?
A child is out playing in the yard, gets kidnapped and is abused. What wrong choices did 'the child' make? What did he/she do, to set off this series of events? Leaving the house to play in the yard...don't get me started on what could happen in a childs own home!
I agree that how we deal with certain events that have happened to us, is our choice. Not however, that we are always in control of what happens and that it is our fault.
Maybe I misreading OP :-3
No one decides what is done to them. I think the OP talked about how things influenced your life, not necessarily that you caused it or deserved it.
F'rinstance, my mother died when I was 12. No doubt that is a life-changing event in anybody's life. It wasn't my choice, my fault, or even my destiny, but it changed my life profoundly.
A child is out playing in the yard, gets kidnapped and is abused. What wrong choices did 'the child' make? What did he/she do, to set off this series of events? Leaving the house to play in the yard...don't get me started on what could happen in a childs own home!
I agree that how we deal with certain events that have happened to us, is our choice. Not however, that we are always in control of what happens and that it is our fault.
Maybe I misreading OP :-3
No one decides what is done to them. I think the OP talked about how things influenced your life, not necessarily that you caused it or deserved it.
F'rinstance, my mother died when I was 12. No doubt that is a life-changing event in anybody's life. It wasn't my choice, my fault, or even my destiny, but it changed my life profoundly.
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Choices
RedGlitter;661916 wrote: [...]
A lot of people will say that's bunk. A crutch even. That she chose to dive and hit a rock. Her doing. But what really made her want to take that dive? Is there some giant hand stuck in our collective back, puppeting us to make these choices so we can serve purposes only God (etc) knows about?
More telling and important, imo, is what made her want to carry on - even excel in life - when so many other in her situation would have given up. Nobody would have blamed her.
A lot of people will say that's bunk. A crutch even. That she chose to dive and hit a rock. Her doing. But what really made her want to take that dive? Is there some giant hand stuck in our collective back, puppeting us to make these choices so we can serve purposes only God (etc) knows about?
More telling and important, imo, is what made her want to carry on - even excel in life - when so many other in her situation would have given up. Nobody would have blamed her.