The Cost of Funerals

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 5:50 pm

I have never understood why many people scream about what they feel is the high cost of funerals. The average cost of a birth, a wedding and a divorce, cost more than the average funeral. Death is just another major event in the life cycle, why the fuss over costs?

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:14 pm

Do people complain about it? I know they cost, but it is something you really do not argue about, it is a part of the cycle of life. Good comparisons you made, Lon.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:15 pm

Because a funeral catches you at usually one of the worst times of your life. You are vulnerable prey. Sure, funeral directors have laws and codes to abide by but that doesn't mean they don't still try to sell you stuff you don't need at the most vulnerable time of your life. If you don't buy some of these things, you may feel cheap and that you aren't giving your dead loved one the very best. They may be there to perform a necessary service but they're also salespeople and that cannot be denied. I've been in this situation quite a few times to know.

There's also the conception that money spent on funerals is a waste.The coffin is buried, the flowers die, you can't see the vault and ground former thing you may have been told you needed to buy. A headstone is as much as or more than a coffin and in the end that's all you're left with.

I am not saying I feel a funeral is a waste of money, on the contrary. I think they're necessary rituals. Everyone has their own personal notion of this though.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:28 pm

Lon;664479 wrote: I have never understood why many people scream about what they feel is the high cost of funerals. The average cost of a birth, a wedding and a divorce, cost more than the average funeral. Death is just another major event in the life cycle, why the fuss over costs?

Because. Thats why.

Id much rather hard earned $ be left for the living. Why spend 5-7-10 grand on a bag of bones ?

Its just going to leak all over the satin anyway.

Take a vacation, buy a new car, just dont waste it on me please.

I think as well theres pressure to feel like your not being frugal on a loved one.

When I buried mom there was immense guilt and a feeling of if I dont get a nice this or nice that what will people think ?

We dumped grandma in the lake. She liked water so what the hell ?

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:59 pm

Well I am one of those people who complain about the cost of Funerals. Unless you want a paupers funeral it costs you thousands and thousands.

Weddings birthdays ect you have a choice about the cost. We are an average wage earning family and we had a nice wedding for my daughter that didnt break the bank, but if one of us were to die tomorrow it would put us in debt. Everything associated with having a funeral is so costly.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:01 pm

Not to mention the fact that often a bunch of expensive medical bills precede a funeral. The family's already broke and then you pile $10-15,000 on top of that.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:09 pm

RedGlitter;664493 wrote: Because a funeral catches you at usually one of the worst times of your life. You are vulnerable prey. Sure, funeral directors have laws and codes to abide by but that doesn't mean they don't still try to sell you stuff you don't need at the most vulnerable time of your life. If you don't buy some of these things, you may feel cheap and that you aren't giving your dead loved one the very best. They may be there to perform a necessary service but they're also salespeople and that cannot be denied. I've been in this situation quite a few times to know.

There's also the conception that money spent on funerals is a waste.The coffin is buried, the flowers die, you can't see the vault and ground former thing you may have been told you needed to buy. A headstone is as much as or more than a coffin and in the end that's all you're left with.

I am not saying I feel a funeral is a waste of money, on the contrary. I think they're necessary rituals. Everyone has their own personal notion of this though.

Vulnerability? a potential bride planning a wedding is just as vulnerable to the jobbers that participate in weddings, from photos, dresses, food etc.

And with divorce------the lawyers have a field day in creating a contentious atmosphere between the parties involved.

Ah, and don't we want the best for the little blessed event that is birth?

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:11 pm

Nomad;664502 wrote: Because. Thats why.

Id much rather hard earned $ be left for the living. Why spend 5-7-10 grand on a bag of bones ?

Its just going to leak all over the satin anyway.

Take a vacation, buy a new car, just dont waste it on me please.

I think as well theres pressure to feel like your not being frugal on a loved one.

When I buried mom there was immense guilt and a feeling of if I dont get a nice this or nice that what will people think ?

We dumped grandma in the lake. She liked water so what the hell ?

With that logic Nomad, why spend money on a wedding when the odds are that it will end in divorce, costing even more money.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:13 pm

kayleneaussie;664526 wrote: Well I am one of those people who complain about the cost of Funerals. Unless you want a paupers funeral it costs you thousands and thousands.

Weddings birthdays ect you have a choice about the cost. We are an average wage earning family and we had a nice wedding for my daughter that didnt break the bank, but if one of us were to die tomorrow it would put us in debt. Everything associated with having a funeral is so costly.

You do have a wide choice on the cost of a funeral, Check it out. In my area you can spend from $800 --------------no limit.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:15 pm

RedGlitter;664528 wrote: Not to mention the fact that often a bunch of expensive medical bills precede a funeral. The family's already broke and then you pile $10-15,000 on top of that.

You are assuming of course that there is no Medicare Insurance or private heath insurance.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:17 pm

I would add some a zero at least to final medical costs, I know for my husband's illness they balked when it hit a $200,000...................

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:18 pm

Lon;664540 wrote: With that logic Nomad, why spend money on a wedding when the odds are that it will end in divorce, costing even more money.

Im not a pessimist. Im an optimist. (Usually) And while Im not always practical, I can see the benefits of not having an expensive funeral. Im dead.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:22 pm

Nomad;664544 wrote: Im not a pessimist. Im an optimist. (Usually) And while Im not always practical, I can see the benefits of not having an expensive funeral. Im dead.

Yes, but funerals are for the living, not the dead, don't be so selfish.

Tan · Post by **Tan** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:32 pm

Interesting post Lon. Im curious about this topic because I have yet to experience payment for a funeral My folks have no life insurance, a crappy income and few potential caregivers at their leisure (me or a home). Ive been to funerals and clearly see the differences in cost. Its scares me.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:36 pm

Lon;664546 wrote: Yes, but funerals are for the living, not the dead, don't be so selfish.

You sound like Mother Spirit now. :wah:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 10:57 pm

Lon;664538 wrote: Vulnerability? a potential bride planning a wedding is just as vulnerable to the jobbers that participate in weddings, from photos, dresses, food etc.

And with divorce------the lawyers have a field day in creating a contentious atmosphere between the parties involved.

Ah, and don't we want the best for the little blessed event that is birth?

A wedding and even a divorce is not the same as a death. Death comes with its own kind of vulnerability.

I think people spend a ridiculous amount of money on weddings and even new babies.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jul 20, 2007 11:00 pm

Lon;664542 wrote: You are assuming of course that there is no Medicare Insurance or private heath insurance.

I just went through this with insurance. It still did not cover the entire funeral or medical expenses. The funeral was tasteful and not overdone yet it was costly. I am still paying off the headstone which was costly in itself, even though it was not the ten thousand dollar one I originally chose.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 1:07 am

There is no way you would get a funeral over here for $800, if that was the case I wouldnt be complaining. As to being in a health fund most doctors over charge so you have to pay the difference. Its a stressful time in a persons life when someone dies and I think the money pressure is just too much.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 1:20 am

when i die drag my carcus to a field ,dig a whole bury me there forget about me ,the thing that is in the ground means nothing all i was is gone all that is left is just an empty shell :-6:-6

funerals dead expensive ,grave news

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 2:59 am

The complaints over the high cost of funerals results from much of the cost being unneccesary. Bereaved familes are taken advantage of, because they are uninformed. The situation is similar to people being uninformed about medical costs pertaining to their own bodies. Embalming often is not necessary. A high priced casket is not necessary. There are those who will opt for a very expensive funeral. Perhaps because money is no object, or possibly because of guilt, if they do less. Green funerals are becoming very popular. These burials are chopping costs down by thousands, are better for the enviorment, and are a more natural way for a loved one to be layed to rest. Like everything else in our society even dying becomes big business, causing stess and worry for survivors having to make the arrangements.