Top 11 Deaths of the Year

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 6:04 am

FBI TOP 11 DEATHS OF THE YEAR
Every year the FBI is asked to investigate over 36,000 Serious Crimes including Suspicious Deaths and Homicides. And the Homicide Investigations Unit puts out its Top 11 Homicides of that year.

1- Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party her wheel chair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake

2- Peter Stone, 42 years old, was murdered by his 8-year-old daughter, whom he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison tablets into her fathers coffee as he prepared dinner The victim took one sip and promptly collapsed. Samantha Stone was given a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't realise what she was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the same method, one month later.

3- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend after he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends') father had given it to her an hour before the date started, just in case.

4- Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for failing to pay his rent for 8 years. The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victimto death with a toilet seat after he realised just how long it had been since Mr Halos paid his rent.

5- Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled Boo! The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.

6- Julia Smith, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial.

7- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbour. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including total hair loss, skin welts, blindness, and extreme nausea and even had an ear lobe drop off, the victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check up.

8- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by loading her car with Trinity nitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kg of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Okalahoma Bombing. The explosion was heard by several persons some up to 14 kilometres away. No trace of the car or the victim was ever found only a 55-meter deep crater, and 500m of missing road.

9- Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbour in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbour, Flat Hame, for years had a mounted F4 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at an empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter over for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5,000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.

10- Michael Lewis, angry with his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard with a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double-sided white board that read Death to all Niggers! On one side, and God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased.

11- Conrad Middleton, 26 years old, was killed by his twin brother Brian after a disagreement over who should take the family home after their parents' passed away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and had no sense of smell. After the argument Brian stormed out of the house, then snuck back later, and turned on the 3 gas taps in the house, filling it with gas. He then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note saying, Sorry for the spree, have a puff on me, Brian. Conrad promptly lit a cigar, destroying the house and him in the process.

Post by **spot** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 6:25 am

I'm often accused of having no sense of humour but, solely in order to educate me a bit, did you post that thinking any of it was true?

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 6:31 am

Sorry, RG, but this is a hoax. click here

Post by **spot** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 6:36 am

Peg;662546 wrote: Sorry, RG, but this is a hoax. click here

There's all sorts of really odd things that actually happened, mind. The USAF once dropped a nuclear warhead on a house in South Carolina for example.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:22 am

Oh damn! Snopes! :rolleyes: Well, yes Spot, I did.

Post by **spot** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 7:27 am

RedGlitter;662571 wrote: Oh damn! Snopes! :rolleyes: Well, yes Spot, I did.

Golly...

There's very swashbuckling pirate captain on a ship. One day the look-out says "Cap'n. There be three navy ships on the horizon". The pirate says "Three navy ships! Fetch my red shirt!" Someone fetches his red shirt, he puts it on and with his crew, fights and defeats all three ships.

The next day: "Cap'n. There be ten navy ships on the horizon". "Ten navy ships! Then fetch me my red shirt!". After defeating the ten enemy ships, the first mate asks the captain "Why do you wear your red shirt when you're fighting the enemy?" The captain says "So that if I'm wounded, my crew won't be able to see the blood and won't get alarmed". Everyone applauds in admiration.

Next day: "Cap'n. There be fifty navy ships on the horizon". "Fifty navy ships? Fetch me my brown trousers!"

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:26 am

muhahahhahahaha spot...thats funny..

and i believed all those stories too..was reading them in fasination...:p:-3

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:35 am

My post disappeared Spot but I really liked your joke. In fact I've liked all your jokes today.

I hope for more.

Post by **spot** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:43 am

I've known depressed undertakers with more of a sense of humour than me.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:54 am

spot;662691 wrote: I've known depressed undertakers with more of a sense of humour than me.

:wah: See, that was good. That kind of humor appeals to me.

BTW, thank you for your help today. I called and requested a copy. We'll see if I get one. I appreciate the heads up. I saw Bryn was posting to that thread but it disappeared before I got to read what he may have written.

Post by **spot** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:49 am

RedGlitter;662693 wrote: :wah: See, that was good. That kind of humor appeals to me.Did you believe the bit about "the USAF once dropped a nuclear warhead on a house in South Carolina"?

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:59 am

spot;662696 wrote: Did you believe the bit about "the USAF once dropped a nuclear warhead on a house in South Carolina"?

Well it didn't sound too probable to me, unless maybe it was a deadhead or there'd be no South Carolina but it also rains frogs from the sky so.... :wah:

I did really think someone killed someone with a toilet seat though. I admit that.

*what rhymes with gullible?*

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:39 am

RedGlitter;662697 wrote: Well it didn't sound too probable to me, unless maybe it was a deadhead or there'd be no South Carolina but it also rains frogs from the sky so.... :wah:

I did really think someone killed someone with a toilet seat though. I admit that.

*what rhymes with gullible?*

Hugable?

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Jul 18, 2007 1:48 pm

Bryn Mawr;662858 wrote: Hugable?

I'll take it!

Post by **spot** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:00 am

RedGlitter;662697 wrote: Well it didn't sound too probable to me, unless maybe it was a deadhead or there'd be no South Carolina but it also rains frogs from the sky so.... :wah:1958-03-11 – A B-47 bomber flying from Savannah, Georgia on a routine exercise with a nuclear warhead experienced a malfunction. The bomb lock failed and released a nuclear warhead which fell and detonated the chemical portion in the suburban neighborhood of Florence, South Carolina. The nuclear part did not detonate but radioactive substances were flung across the area. Several minor injuries resulted and the destruction of the house it fell on. No radiation sickness occurred.

Just so you know.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:36 am

That's true?

Don't play with my gullibility, Spot! :wah::o

Post by **spot** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:53 am

RedGlitter;664765 wrote: That's true?

Don't play with my gullibility, Spot! :wah::o

It's true, yes.

If you don't want people to play with your gullibility you shouldn't parade around flaunting it for everyone to see! It's a peculiarly attractive one, I wish mine was as well cared for.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:58 am

spot;664769 wrote: It's true, yes.

If you don't want people to play with your gullibility you shouldn't parade around flaunting it for everyone to see! It's a peculiarly attractive one, I wish mine was as well cared for.

Flattery will get you everywhere!