lets be serious for a minute because this interests me

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 4:11 pm

magenta flame;665010 wrote: I was thinking (yes it's always a dangerous thing ) about what actually attracts us to men. When I was younger I was attracted to intellectual men. You know professors, high graded students, those in high inetellectual professions. whilst lying on their couches I loved hearing all the prattle about what they were studying and what court case they were involved in and etc. etc. you get the point.

I used to think how lucky I was to get so many lectures and information for free while others were paying a fortune for the experience. that was a turn on for me I was so hungry for intellectual stimulation that I'd do anything for it.

So when you were younger what was it that attracted you to the opposite sex? I don't mean the big dick big tits thing because that's secondary. I mean that there must have been more in it for you what were you getting out of the attraction? why were you attracted?

When I was younger (lot's), I was attracted to the Mrs. Robinson type female.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 5:14 pm

The Gary Cooper type......rugged, quiet, down-to earth, strong yet gentle at times,wasn't afraid to laugh and smile,

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 6:06 pm

magenta flame;665010 wrote:

So when you were younger what was it that attracted you to the opposite sex? I don't mean the big dick big tits thing because that's secondary. I mean that there must have been more in it for you what were you getting out of the attraction? why were you attracted?

The same thing that attracts me now. Basically it boils down to how they react to the world around them. How they handle things. Their reaction to being human. This is where the sense of humor, the compassion, the intelligence comes in. Integrity, confidence, personal make-up, personal code. Those things as well as the innate electric appeal I mentioned in the sex appeal thread. The spark you can't see. All of that wrapped up is what does it. It's a mental and emotional turn-on.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 6:46 pm

magenta flame;665095 wrote: yes, I understand what you're seeing and how you react to it but WHY? have you ever looked inside yourself and asked why does this happen to me. What are you getting out of that particular attraction?

magenta flame;665096 wrote: I'm not making myself clear.

Okay REd what if a homeless guy that you passed every day in the street and you spoke to every now and again had those exact same qualities that you have posted. would you fall for him? why or why not?

:wah: I'm sorry. I couldn't help but laugh. No, because I am not attracted to people who are unclean and I have yet to meet someone homeless who isn't kind of...yeah. And I enjoy a person with all their teeth and yada. So there's the physical, undeniably. As well, I mentioned part of the attraction was how they handled their surroundings and situations they were in. Leaving room for a rare exception, I don't see a homeless guy being too smart about his situation or handling it well, or he may not be in that situation to start with. So that would be a turnoff.

I guess those things I mentioned appeal to me because they make me feel secure when I'm around that person. Confidence gives me security. I like knowing there's someone besides me who can handle things. Knowing too that if I can't handle something, he probably can cover for me. Again, that's all mental.

I'm not sure I can answer you in terms I think you're looking for....did I do better this time?

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:24 pm

magenta flame;665116 wrote: yeah I think so ...............I'm going to summize that their is a clear judgement call going on somewhere in our heads .security, appearance, (appearance that in one way or another reflects ourselves perhaps?)

I think appearance can go to self respect and respect for others. I'm not talking about being goodlooking but clean and neat. Subconsciously I translate a slob as having no respect for himself and none for the people who have to look at him. Appearance in that respect also goes to confidence and how well one views their place in life.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:33 pm

magenta flame;665121 wrote: Sooooo if a guy works as a mechanic and his hands are stained from the oils etc, does that fit in to your concept of cleanliness? What if this Mechanic is a billionaire and has obviously worked hard but still likes to tinker and get dirty?

I'm totally fine with that. That's honest "dirt." A guy coming off a combine covered in field dirt...fine...in fact that would probably set me off in a good way because I'd think somewhere in my mind "strong, capable man/hard worker." Which is probably what all women want. It's personal filth/scuzziness that's gross. Guys who avoid showers and basic hygiene. Ick.

Ali. · Post by **Ali.** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:02 pm

charm, charisma,confidence,It makes me feel safe secure.They dont need to be drop dead gorgeous either confidence exudes sex appeal.Jeez so deep for a sunday morning with a hangover.lol:wah:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:50 pm

magenta flame;665227 wrote: Alrighty then. So why do some women like the shy, reserved type of little or no outward confidence??

Hmm... maybe because they are taken by the guy's overt sensitive side and they want to mother him? I say overt because I know some very fierce men who are deeply sensitive but it's a secret, man. :rolleyes: Or perhaps because of an overbearing father, they seek out men who are less dominant?? I'm just tossing out a couple ideas here....OR!! Maybe because his sensitive side connects with our nurturing, womanly sensitivity and we are able to make a soul connection with him in that way?? As in a common bond.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:13 pm

magenta flame;665235 wrote: I think you know where I'm coming from now. Maybe,

OK a woman gets all the attributes she wants in a guy, what if she knows he'll mistreat her? What if he does mistreat her? Do those attributes still stand because others see them? Does he still have those attributes?

If I understand your question correctly, I would have to say "pretty is as pretty does." If the guy in question is stellar in all aspects yet backhands her, then he's a loser regardless of how he presents himself to everyone else.