The Struggle Scale

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 8:53 am

Where would you place yourself on a scale from 1-10 in regards to struggle and hardship in your life?

Do you think the amount of struggle and feelings of hardship are subjective, that it seems worse than it is when you're going through it? I know with the late teen years I finally felt like an adult when I realised that I hadn't been through anything yet.

SlipStream · Post by **SlipStream** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:05 am

koan;670445 wrote: Where would you place yourself on a scale from 1-10 in regards to struggle and hardship in your life?

Do you think the amount of struggle and feelings of hardship are subjective, that it seems worse than it is when you're going through it? I know with the late teen years I finally felt like an adult when I realised that I hadn't been through anything yet.

9

how bout u?

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:09 am

I figure about a 4 or 5, but some people put me closer to 8 I think.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:16 am

Good question Koan I take the attitude that the glass if half full and try to be positive most of the time. I have had some very tough times in life both mentally and physically.

That was then this is now, each day is a new adventure some good, some not so good. I consider my struggles as tools to make me a better person if you will.

I know people who have had enormous tragedy in their lives each and every day. They live with dignity through it and I learn from them.

This is a test of sorts I think so me being very competitive I always strive to do my very best. Doesn't always happen but I try..

I think as I get older it all seems easier so I would put me at about a 3 on bad days. Humor is my outlet, I laugh at just about everything. When you consider the alternative any day above ground it a good day...

littlemissgiggle · Post by **littlemissgiggle** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:29 am

I have never really been through a struggle so i would say maybe a

1 at the most. :-6

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:33 am

I think you can only grade these times afterwards, not when you're going through it. Otherwise, it always seems so hard.

When my husband was first ill-a 10

Now, it is subjective. Summer vacation is a 5, I only work 2 part times jobs and get to write alot.

When school starts, it will vary from day to day. Life is hard, there is nothing else to say about it.

I will miss getting to write alot, it is hard to work solid all day and night long and have little or no down time.

You learn to go with the flow, and accept what will not change. Not with grace always, but you do learn to accept it.

It could always be worse, that is something to consider with the struggle scale....

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:38 am

chonsigirl;670461 wrote: It could always be worse, that is something to consider with the struggle scale....

Is ten the best you have?

When it may be a five it ends up being a thirty.

But as Chonsi said, Could be worse. Could be raining.

;)

xalisonx · Post by **xalisonx** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:46 am

Compared with some people i wouldnt say i have any struggles in life,

Got a nice boyfriend, a house over my head and friends who are there for me

I havent got a job so sometimes i struggle to put petrol in my car, but thats my own fault for being so lazy! And admittedly its my fault for being lazy im not signing on for job seekers!

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:46 am

Oiy I am going to say it's always changing for me. I have hit 10 during my divorce and now hmmmm I think 6.

And yep there is always something worse out there that could happen to me at any given time, or heck even better.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 9:54 am

I think every time something really bad happens it makes what used to seem bad pale by comparison. I had a nightmare that my daughter died once and I woke up still in shock. After that, nothing I've been through seems to matter. I consider myself lucky.

I'd guess that my life is about a 2 on the struggle scale overall. I've been through a lot of stuff but it doesn't keep me down. Some people, especially with depression disorders, can't get over things as easily and so it will always seem worse to them even if it wasn't that bad.

Richard Bell · Post by **Richard Bell** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:13 am

Compared to a world rife with disease, famine, war, intolerance,hatred, and poverty, I haven't got a damn thing to moan about, and I am grateful to those who have created and defended our society.

"Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time."

Winston Churchill (from a House of Commons speech on Nov. 11, 1947)

Indian Princess · Post by **Indian Princess** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:16 am

sometimes at 8.0 and others 0.0 depends on whats going on

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:33 am

almostfamous;670495 wrote: You've hit the nail on the head here. For me it's a constant battle to stay grounded. I've been depressed, severely, and to the point of not wanting to be here because of what I was going through.

In 2002, I was fired from my job while on medical leave, I worked for a hospital no less. The combination of losing my job, having to endure another surgery after said termination, splitting up with my fiance and just feeling worthless in general .. I was a mess health-wise and emotionally I was a train wreck. I can't count the times my dad would come to my house, cry and plead with me to get help. I punched holes in just about every wall of this here trailer, and well, we'll just say all the way around I had major anger issues. Because I was depressed, it made me selfish in a way, I made the issues I refused to deal with larger than life. I'd like to think I'm a lot more grounded now. My dad actually told me a couple of days ago he can tell a huge difference in my disposition. That felt good, it's nice to know that you can turn over a new leaf and one of the people who you put through the ringer, still has faith in you and sees when you make positive improvement.

A good support system is key.

Oh AF you got that right, good support is key, I think without the support of my dad mostly and my mom, I would never have made it to where I have. They put up with a year of my hell during a life raping divorce. I lost everything except my kids and they were worth the constant pay out to keep them. I can't even explain how it feels to live day to day with someone threatening to take my very lifes blood away from me. I hit the pit, and struggled with depression and my folks were amazing, my mother was incredible because during the truly worst part, she kept a secret from me for a spell just so I could recover, she never told me she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer till she saw I was back on my feet again. Crikey that made me realize I was being selfish and completely self absorbed in my own misery. I had no choice, I clawed my way out and moved forward ad vowed to never ever allow myself that kind of self pity again.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:42 am

Almostfamous and Minks your amazing women who have worked very hard at your lives getting them back on track. Bravo to you both, you got up and moved forward that is the key, along with a support system be if family or friends anything can be accomplished.

I alway find feeling sorry for myself a total waste of time, but we have to do it now and then so we can move forward.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:43 am

Accountable;670452 wrote: I figure about a 4 or 5, but some people put me closer to 8 I think.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:46 am

koan;670445 wrote: Where would you place yourself on a scale from 1-10 in regards to struggle and hardship in your life?

Do you think the amount of struggle and feelings of hardship are subjective, that it seems worse than it is when you're going through it? I know with the late teen years I finally felt like an adult when I realised that I hadn't been through anything yet.

I have certainly had some struggles & hardships during my life, but to rate myself is impossible to do when considering a 10 for me might be a 1 for someone else. I have always had enough to eat, and sufficient clothes to stay warm, for many that would be a dream come true.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:52 am

Lon;670514 wrote: I have certainly had some struggles & hardships during my life, but to rate myself is impossible to do when considering a 10 for me might be a 1 for someone else. I have always had enough to eat, and sufficient clothes to stay warm, for many that would be a dream come true.

I understand your point and its a fair one yet your life is as individual as the stars. While we should keep things in perspective your struggles are your own to mourn or your triumphs to celebrate. I think its a disservice to yourself to poo poo your own pain.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:55 am

Nomad;670519 wrote: I understand your point and its a fair one yet your life is as individual as the stars. While we should keep things in perspective your struggles are your own to mourn or your triumphs to celebrate. I think its a disservice to yourself to poo poo your own pain.

well it's about choices innit. I think we all manage our individual pain in our own ways, the key is to not let it consume us, we still have to live life, and make the best of it.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:59 am

minks;670522 wrote: well it's about choices innit. I think we all manage our individual pain in our own ways, the key is to not let it consume us, we still have to live life, and make the best of it.

Yes maam.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:05 am

Nomad;670523 wrote: Yes maam.

i wasn't being critical with ya Nomad,

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:10 am

minks;670525 wrote: i wasn't being critical with ya Nomad,

I searched my brain for a reply. Its all that showed up.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:13 am

Lots of struggle. Id rate it a 10. Never felt sorry for myself. Never blamed anyone else. Got stronger with every hurdle overcome. At 55 I think I finally have come to understand the rules of the living game. Only the strong survive. I still have major struggles with different areas of life now. But my attitude has changed. I can sort of ride the waves. Its sort of like not fighting the contractions that accompany child birth. When you relax, and drive into the pain, the baby is born shortly after.

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:13 am

I'm 47 years old so yes i have been through some bad times... and some pretty bad times.. but all in all i still count myself lucky for the life i have and everything and everyone in it. i still struggle to cope with a couple of things that "changed my life" as in not being able to get past them yet. but i cope albeit in my own weird way:wah:

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:14 am

I have often thought that i'm at a 10 then realise when the next disaster strikes that I was probably at a 6 the time before :rolleyes:

I, like most others have had things pretty rough, but try to focas on what is so good in my life, my kids, family, my home etc.

I quite often listen to friends who complain about the slightest thing, it took me a long time to try to understand where they were coming from, the truth of it is, having bad times has made me appreciate the good a whole lot more :-6

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:16 am

SuzyB;670531 wrote: I have often thought that i'm at a 10 then realise when the next disaster strikes that I was probably at a 6 the time before :rolleyes:

I, like most others have had things pretty rough, but try to focas on what is so good in my life, my kids, family, my home etc.

I quite often listen to friends who complain about the slightest thing, it took me a long time to try to understand where they were coming from, the truth of it is, having bad times has made me appreciate the good a whole lot more :-6

Well said Suzy:-4

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 12:03 pm

weeder;670529 wrote: Lots of struggle. Id rate it a 10. Never felt sorry for myself. Never blamed anyone else. Got stronger with every hurdle overcome. At 55 I think I finally have come to understand the rules of the living game. Only the strong survive. I still have major struggles with different areas of life now. But my attitude has changed. I can sort of ride the waves. Its sort of like not fighting the contractions that accompany child birth. When you relax, and drive into the pain, the baby is born shortly after.

weeder i think your answer is so good it puts alot of things in its place,yeah i have been childish and feeling sorry for myself but your post has helped thank you.:-4

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 12:25 pm

kazalala;670532 wrote: Well said Suzy:-4

Thanks Kaz :-6

weinbeck · Post by **weinbeck** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 12:29 pm

koan;670445 wrote: Where would you place yourself on a scale from 1-10 in regards to struggle and hardship in your life?

Do you think the amount of struggle and feelings of hardship are subjective, that it seems worse than it is when you're going through it? I know with the late teen years I finally felt like an adult when I realised that I hadn't been through anything yet.

Many, many years ago I found I didn't have enough money to buy a gallon of petrol for my mini. With no job and no money, in desperation I put all my possessions into my car and drove them down to the pawn broker. He slung it all back at me: "Worthless junk!" He said. As I got back into my car, now less than a quarter of a gallon in the tank, a man in his sixties approached me with a bucket and sponge.

"Excuse me Sir," he said humbly, " but can I was your car for ten bob?" (50p)

I shook my head. "I'm sorry," I said, bitterly. "I've got no money at all. I've just come out of the pawn shop, and the ba*tard doesn't want to know." He smiled and nodded, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I know what it's like to have nothing. God bless you, mate - I hope your luck improves." And with that, he was gone. Here was a man in his sixties, doing a kid's job, trying to get a few pence together so that he could get something to eat, calling me, not yet out of my teens, Sir. Had I had the money, although it didn't need washing, I would have told him to go ahead and clean the car. He may have had no money, but he had pride and dignity. It was like a slap in the face - I have never, EVER felt sorry for myself since.

Sure we struggle through life, especially financially, where you only have to slip up once with the credit companies and the conspire against you where you can't even but a television on HP because of your credit rating, but nobody gives two s*its about you anyway - they're only interested in their own problems.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 1:55 pm

Nomad;670519 wrote: I understand your point and its a fair one yet your life is as individual as the stars. While we should keep things in perspective your struggles are your own to mourn or your triumphs to celebrate. I think its a disservice to yourself to poo poo your own pain.

I do not poo poo what pain or struggles I have had in the past, I just don't feel the need to share it. The important thing to me is today and the future, because that is where I will spend the rest of my life.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:20 pm

gosh, I can't imagine how anyone here can rate their pain a 10 when they've met mominiowa.

weeder, you really think your life is a much of a struggle as hers?

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:22 pm

koan;670650 wrote: gosh, I can't imagine how anyone here can rate their pain a 10 when they've met mominiowa.

weeder, you really think your life is a much of a struggle as hers?

I often wonder if we are all in some way drawn here because so many of us are survivors of some sort.

Interesting point Koan but I think we all go through our own personal hades, and we all have different tolerance levels, what's a 10 to one of us may only be an 8 to another. I don't think it's a global scale.

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:23 pm

minks;670654 wrote: I often wonder if we are all in some way drawn here because so many of us are survivors of some sort.

Interesting point Koan but I think we all go through our own peronal hades, and we all have different tolerance levels, what's a 10 to one of us may only be an 8 to another. I don't think it's a global scale.

well said minks

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:25 pm

The old saying is "at least you have your health".

Anyone who has faced cancer or another fatal illness can add at least one more struggle point over someone who hasn't, imo.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:26 pm

Oh and koan believe me I am not down playing Mominiowa's personal hades believe me she makes me realize often how greatful I am for what I have. Hell there are loads of you here that I read about and think thank the powers be that I am not going through what some of you have.

honestly I admire each and everyone here who "gets by" heck I admire everybody.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:27 pm

koan;670657 wrote: The old saying is "at least you have your health".

Anyone who has faced cancer or another fatal illness can add at least one more struggle point over someone who hasn't, imo.

no kidding. and amen to that

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:27 pm

my dad died from cancer and he was so brave.,we suffered more than he did watching him die.He always believed he would no tdie of cancer.I have always struggled in loosing my dad.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:28 pm

I think to our own Slipstream is another I admire for coming in here and hanging in there.

KUDOS!!!!!

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:29 pm

koan;670650 wrote: gosh, I can't imagine how anyone here can rate their pain a 10 when they've met mominiowa.

weeder, you really think your life is a much of a struggle as hers?

I posted the other day on a thread about people that are going through real hrd times, it was Mom and Unc Fester that was in my thoughts at the time. Mom is a young Mother who has such a hard fight on her hands, and the most amazing thing with her is that she is so positive and inspiring to me and many others, she has kind words for everyone.

My Mum is going through chemo at the moment and she is amazing, I aspire to be the woman that she is :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:29 pm

neffy;670661 wrote: my dad died from cancer and he was so brave.,we suffered more than he did watching him die.He always believed he would no tdie of cancer.I have always struggled in loosing my dad.

me too loosing my FIL the same way it was Hades. Still hurts. I think that is the only pain I still share with the ex.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:31 pm

SuzyB;670663 wrote: I posted the other day on a thread about people that are going through real hrd times, it was Mom and Unc Fester that was in my thoughts at the time. Mom is a young Mother who is has such a hard fight on her hands, and the most amazing thing with her is that she is so positive and inspiring to me and many others, she has kind words for everyone.

My Mum is going through chemo at the moment and she is amazing, I aspire to be the woman that she is :-4

oh SuzyB that is Hades. Pure and simple. I remember watching the FIL go through it all nothing compares in my eyes. Then his second round when he knew he was going to die, he was doped up on Morphine and I can't figure out what was worse.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:32 pm

neffy;670661 wrote: my dad died from cancer and he was so brave.,we suffered more than he did watching him die.He always believed he would no tdie of cancer.I have always struggled in loosing my dad.

I don't think for a second that you didn't suffer Neffs, but I don't believe any living person suffers more than the person knowing that they may be dying and going through pain which to us is unimaginable.

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:40 pm

SuzyB;670667 wrote: I don't think for a second that you didn't suffer Neffs, but I don't believe any living person suffers more than the person knowing that they may be dying and going through pain which to us is unimaginable.

i agree suzy and cancer is the most awfull thing that anybody who has got it suffers very bad.My thoughts to you and your famliy suzy x

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:42 pm

neffy;670672 wrote: i agree suzy and cancer is the most awfull thing that anybody who has got it suffers very bad.My thoughts to you and your famliy suzy x

Cheers Neffs

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:46 pm

I guess it really depends on how you view the situation you're in.

Things can get quite difficult for me from time to time (as they can for us all) but when I look at what other people are going thru - things for me are pretty easy.

My glass is always half full:)

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:48 pm

Richard Bell;670494 wrote: Compared to a world rife with disease, famine, war, intolerance,hatred, and poverty, I haven't got a damn thing to moan about, and I am grateful to those who have created and defended our society.

"Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time."

Winston Churchill (from a House of Commons speech on Nov. 11, 1947)

Well said Richard

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:09 pm

I hope we're not going to be so brazen as to start publicly judging one another's hardships.

dunkin · Post by **dunkin** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:14 pm

Losing a child,going through chemo was up there in the 10.

Having a child, being in remission is a 2.

My glass is full & overflowing.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:17 pm

dunkin;670697 wrote: Losing a child,going through chemo was up there in the 10.

Having a child, being in remission is a 2.

My glass is full & overflowing.

:yh_clap

That's the way to look at it. Every negative has at least some kind of positive aspect as well.

RedGlitter, yes. I am going to be brazen. It helps no one for a person to sit around feeling sorry for themselves.

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:20 pm

koan;670700 wrote: :yh_clap

That's the way to look at it. Every negative has at least some kind of positive aspect as well.

RedGlitter, yes. I am going to be brazen. It helps no one for a person to sit around feeling sorry for themselves.

that is something i really loved and respected my dad for ,i was the one feeling sorry for myself

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:21 pm

Okay then Koan, then I think it's uncool to ask people to talk about their personal struggles and then compare theirs to anyone else's. That's not anyone's place. We may think we know but we don't. Nobody here was feeling sorry for themselves that I could see, rather just answering your question.