The Struggle Scale

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:37 pm

It's an interesting question and I don't know how to answer it for myself. I do know that the 'anything you have suffered I have suffered more/worse etc attitude' is unhelpful. And who can really judge other people's pain? You'd have to be standing in their shoes. Life is, for me, better than the alternative and I think it's good to affirm LIFE, and treat each day as a new beginning full of possibilities. Mominiowa does this, and is an inspiration. So are you, Chonsi, and a few others here. Keeping a sense of perspective helps too. I don't think "true happiness" is possible, but I am constantly surprised - even on the darkest days - by moments of pure bliss. A laugh, a smile, a call from a friend, a bird singing, a piece of bluesy smokey jazz on the radio, a good coffee, scrunching one's toes in new snow.

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:56 pm

AussiePam;670711 wrote: It's an interesting question and I don't know how to answer it for myself. I do know that the 'anything you have suffered I have suffered more/worse etc attitude' is unhelpful. And who can really judge other people's pain? You'd have to be standing in their shoes. Life is, for me, better than the alternative and I think it's good to affirm LIFE, and treat each day as a new beginning full of possibilities. Mominiowa does this, and is an inspiration. So are you, Chonsi, and a few others here. Keeping a sense of perspective helps too. I don't think "true happiness" is possible, but I am constantly surprised - even on the darkest days - by moments of pure bliss. A laugh, a smile, a call from a friend, a bird singing, a piece of bluesy smokey jazz on the radio, a good coffee, scrunching one's toes in new snow.

you got it AP. And I don't think anybody here sits around feeling sorry for themselves over much. We post our trials and tribulations and some days it's just so we can release it.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:04 pm

Thanks Pam. You said what I was trying to say, only more diplomatically.

*will I ever learn?*

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:23 pm

RedGlitter;670702 wrote: Okay then Koan, then I think it's uncool to ask people to talk about their personal struggles and then compare theirs to anyone else's. That's not anyone's place. We may think we know but we don't. Nobody here was feeling sorry for themselves that I could see, rather just answering your question.

you'll notice that I asked weeder if she really thought she was a 10. I didn't tell her that she wasn't/isn't. Is there anything else I shouldn't say while you are at it?

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:27 pm

almostfamous;670730 wrote: I think it is important at certain times for reality checks. It's too easy to be 'woe as me' and *maybe* not realizing it but come across as fishing for sympathy.

Like minks said, a lot of us come here for a vent .. a little compassion from some towards others .. wouldn't hurt but to expect it is a little on the dramatic side. Those that might feed off of it, well, that's a whole other thread in itself. And, like Pam said, perspective is a necessity.

Thats so right AF, when people seem to have bad times every other day (in that I mean if they have a headache, thats the best example I can come up with:o), I am afraid to say my patience runs out.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:33 pm

Getting things in perspective is very hard, especially at the lowest times. But I think those who've been unlucky enough to really stand on the edge of the abyss and look down into black nothingness are probably more likely - if they survive the experience at all - to have a sense of proportion. And maybe even show some non-judgmental compassion for other people's pain. Just a personal opinion.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:40 pm

almostfamous;670740 wrote: I know exactly what you mean and I'll straight up admit that over the past 6 months or so, that's about all you guys have seen from me. I know that you weren't referring to me (and if you were:p :wah:) .. but I am aware that I flowed a little too freely with all of my emotions or nit-picky whining because of too much time on my hands and because I was trying not to deal with the problems, I just wanted to bitch about em.

My saying has Always been, if you don't like something - Change It! - quit yer bitchin' If you don't at least try, you have nothing to complain about, bottom line.

I didn't mean you for a second :-4 Just talking in general terms, I have some friends that whinge and whine cause they have a cold, I then go to my Mums, with her mouth full of ulcers, puking up non stop, dropping weight at a alarming rate, lost every bit of body hair cause her treatment is so aggresive, can't walk where she is so weak, having blood transfusions every other week, the list is endless and they get on the phone to tell me how bad their day is :rolleyes:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:43 pm

koan;670729 wrote: you'll notice that I asked weeder if she really thought she was a 10. I didn't tell her that she wasn't/isn't. Is there anything else I shouldn't say while you are at it?

Hmm...nope. But you probably shouldn't take my words as harsh as they appear. I know that's hard to do. I write as I speak and it continually fails to lodge with me that it doesn't come across well in type.

But then the way you said what you did to Weeder, evidently didn't come across to me the way you meant it either. So there we go. Just another written word glitch. All is well on my end. How about yours?

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:47 pm

SuzyB;670663 wrote: I posted the other day on a thread about people that are going through real hrd times, it was Mom and Unc Fester that was in my thoughts at the time. Mom is a young Mother who has such a hard fight on her hands, and the most amazing thing with her is that she is so positive and inspiring to me and many others, she has kind words for everyone.

My Mum is going through chemo at the moment and she is amazing, I aspire to be the woman that she is :-4

No Suzy, I definately know that my life is a picnic compared to moms. I was diagnosed with cancer two years ago this August myself.... and in the days that I waited for the pathology reports telling me if it had spread or not.. I developed a whole new lease on life. The thing is that for me, my worst level of suffering has come from suffering for others, not for myself and I have spent a lifetime trying to cure this in me.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:51 pm

weeder;670756 wrote: No Suzy, I definately know that my life is a picnic compared to moms. I was diagnosed with cancer two years ago this August myself.... and in the days that I waited for the pathology reports telling me if it had spread or not.. I developed a whole new lease on life. The thing is that for me, my worst level of suffering has come from suffering for others, not for myself and I have spent a lifetime trying to cure this in me.

I didn't mean you Weeder :-4 I was talking about a post I made the other day, I commented that some folks were having a hard time and Mom and Unc were the people in my thoughts.

Just read where I quoted I should have removed the reference to you, sorry Weeder.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:55 pm

koan;670650 wrote: gosh, I can't imagine how anyone here can rate their pain a 10 when they've met mominiowa.

weeder, you really think your life is a much of a struggle as hers?

Koan this is the first time in all the time Ive known you that I must say your reply to me was completely off base, So you force me to say.... Ill take moms diagnosis tomorrow, provided I never see my son crouched on the floor, with a tourniquet around his arm, ready to inject himself with crystal meth, again. Believe me if you want to... scoff at me if you wish.. but realize that the concept of selflisness involves some heavy duty pain. And i will have to hate myself for stooping this low to try to convince that I am neither a sissy or an ingrate.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:57 pm

SuzyB;670761 wrote: I didn't mean you Weeder :-4 I was talking about a post I made the other day, I commented that some folks were having a hard time and Mom and Unc were the people in my thoughts.

Just read where I quoted I should have removed the reference to you, sorry Weeder.

Thanks Suzy

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 5:00 pm

weeder;670763 wrote: , provided I never see my son crouched on the floor, with a tourniquet around his arm, ready to inject himself with crystal meth, again. .

I am so sorry Laura, that must be horrendous, I hope and pray my children will never ever touch drugs.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 5:28 pm

Perspective is everything, innit?

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 6:38 pm

weeder;670763 wrote: Koan this is the first time in all the time Ive known you that I must say your reply to me was completely off base, So you force me to say.... Ill take moms diagnosis tomorrow, provided I never see my son crouched on the floor, with a tourniquet around his arm, ready to inject himself with crystal meth, again. Believe me if you want to... scoff at me if you wish.. but realize that the concept of selflisness involves some heavy duty pain. And i will have to hate myself for stooping this low to try to convince that I am neither a sissy or an ingrate.

You have nothing to prove. There is no way you can prove your life couldn't be any worse nor should you try. I'm not scoffing. I'm just saying that a 10 means it absolutely couldn't be worse. I don't think anyone could convince me that is true.

KB. · Post by **KB.** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 6:51 pm

JacksDad;670465 wrote: Is ten the best you have?

When it may be a five it ends up being a thirty.

But as Chonsi said, Could be worse. Could be raining.

;)

I'll keep this answer for my own. Thanks JD.

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 11:50 am

[QUOTE=almostfamous;670740]I know exactly what you mean and I'll straight up admit that over the past 6 months or so, that's about all you guys have seen from me. I know that you weren't referring to me (and if you were:p :wah:) .. but I am aware that I flowed a little too freely with all of my emotions or nit-picky whining because of too much time on my hands and because I was trying not to deal with the problems, I just wanted to bitch about em.

My saying has Always been, if you don't like something - Change It! - quit yer bitchin' If you don't at least try, you have nothing to complain about, bottom line.[/QUOTE]

Thats the way i think too! but i usually say if its possible change it.. if it is truly impossible to change then accept it and get on

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 12:22 pm

Mine was definitely a 10 when I was 17 yrs old at a church camp out and the preacher caught me and others smoking pot. Been between a 2 and 3 since.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:49 pm

When I first joined this forum I'd probably have answered with a three.

Having met many people on here I can only say I'd rate a minus ten and counting.

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:12 pm

KB.;670793 wrote: I'll keep this answer for my own. Thanks JD.

Sure. Go ahead. I stole it from Mel Brooks anyway.

:p

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:20 pm

Mondays are like a 7

Tuesdays can be a 3 or up to a 6

Wednesdays are back to a 7

Thursdays are in the 2-4 range

Fridays are a 1

Saturdays are 1

Sundays are 3 except during football season and its all over the place. One minute its a 0 the next its a 10 then a 5.....no telling.

DelicateDominatrix · Post by **DelicateDominatrix** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:47 pm

My number would be rather high.I have had some real rough times in my life so far and still in the midst of them.