Hypothetically (if you dont have one)
- you have an adopted child, you've had it from it was a few months old. Do you raise the child with it always having known its adopted? or tell it later in life, if so at what age do you tell them?
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
buttercup;674269 wrote: Hypothetically (if you dont have one)
- you have an adopted child, you've had it from it was a few months old. Do you raise the child with it always having known its adopted? or tell it later in life, if so at what age do you tell them?
well i feel i can answer that BC my dad loved me and i was his little girl,i loved my dad so much,but that is not to say that it dod not cause its problems.Mum had an affair and along came me,but my dad loved me knowing that what a man xx
- you have an adopted child, you've had it from it was a few months old. Do you raise the child with it always having known its adopted? or tell it later in life, if so at what age do you tell them?
well i feel i can answer that BC my dad loved me and i was his little girl,i loved my dad so much,but that is not to say that it dod not cause its problems.Mum had an affair and along came me,but my dad loved me knowing that what a man xx
The rottie queen
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
buttercup;674269 wrote: Hypothetically (if you dont have one)
- you have an adopted child, you've had it from it was a few months old. Do you raise the child with it always having known its adopted? or tell it later in life, if so at what age do you tell them?
That's a really hard one Buttercup! I believe tat a child should know that he/she is adopted, but as to when you tell them?
Not sure:-3
- you have an adopted child, you've had it from it was a few months old. Do you raise the child with it always having known its adopted? or tell it later in life, if so at what age do you tell them?
That's a really hard one Buttercup! I believe tat a child should know that he/she is adopted, but as to when you tell them?
Not sure:-3
Very nearly perfect ... 
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
sorry have not quite eneded it there,my sister and late brother was ok with me and loved me as there own,but sadly from 1983 until my brother died in 2003 he never spoke to me i dont know why but al i know for some unknown reason me being his half sister got to him,sad very sad
-1
-1 The rottie queen
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
pinkchick;674271 wrote: That's a really hard one Buttercup! I believe tat a child should know that he/she is adopted, but as to when you tell them?
Not sure:-3
i only found out that my dad was not mine and that i was adopted when i was 35 :-1
Not sure:-3
i only found out that my dad was not mine and that i was adopted when i was 35 :-1
The rottie queen
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
neffy;674273 wrote: i only found out that my dad was not mine and that i was adopted when i was 35 :-1
Neffy I was just wondering - how did that effect you? .... If at all???
Neffy I was just wondering - how did that effect you? .... If at all???
Very nearly perfect ...
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
to be honest pink it has left its mark on a little,but my mum and dad at the time thought it was best for me not to klnow.I think had i known when i was much younger,i would of been ablle to handle certain emotioms better.I know i have a half sister that lives just only 10mins away she knows about me which makes me feel odd.
The rottie queen
-
RedGlitter
- Posts: 15777
- Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:51 am
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
I would tell them from the start so there are no unpleasant surprises later on and so it would seem like an incidental thing as they were growing up. And if they wanted to know or meet their birth parents at any time, I would help them. I've always thought this the best way to handle this. No secrets, no trauma.
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
I think it is wise to tell a child as soon as possible.I was adopted myself,and always knew.I have a couple of friends who were told when they were older and it was very truamatic for them.Not knowing your birth parents or your roots is difficult to deal with at any age,but as I say the younger the better, so that at least you don't feel that you have been lied to.
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
I could experiment and tell mine that they were adopted but they'd not believe me for a moment.
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left. ... Hold no regard for unsupported opinion.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious. [Fred Wedlock, "The Folker"]
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious. [Fred Wedlock, "The Folker"]
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
-
Betty Boop
- Posts: 16989
- Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
- Location: The end of the World
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
I'm with Red and Mia, honesty is the best policy.
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
I would tell my child as soon as they were able to understand. Im thinking maybe 10 or 11. Old enough to FULLY understand the concept. Young enough to not react with hostility, hurt, and anger.
[FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][/FONT]
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
RedGlitter;674299 wrote: I would tell them from the start so there are no unpleasant surprises later on and so it would seem like an incidental thing as they were growing up. And if they wanted to know or meet their birth parents at any time, I would help them. I've always thought this the best way to handle this. No secrets, no trauma.
That's how we handled our first son. We adopted him after the county placed him with us just under two years. He was my sister's son, and she cared more about her drugs than her kids so DCS took him away from her and blessed us with him.
He was nine when we explained the situation to him adding that he was so wonderful and such a blessing that we choose him over all the children we could of had including having our own. For him nine was a good age to understand the concepts involved.
As for meeting his biological, his father is unknown, and he's welcome to find my sister when he’s an adult, but after all the abuse and neglect she dumped on him she won't be coming around here anytime soon. My wife isn't quite the pacifist that I am.
I'll add also we don't talk bad his biologicals, just the facts of the drug use and neglect and abuse.
That's how we handled our first son. We adopted him after the county placed him with us just under two years. He was my sister's son, and she cared more about her drugs than her kids so DCS took him away from her and blessed us with him.
He was nine when we explained the situation to him adding that he was so wonderful and such a blessing that we choose him over all the children we could of had including having our own. For him nine was a good age to understand the concepts involved.
As for meeting his biological, his father is unknown, and he's welcome to find my sister when he’s an adult, but after all the abuse and neglect she dumped on him she won't be coming around here anytime soon. My wife isn't quite the pacifist that I am.
I'll add also we don't talk bad his biologicals, just the facts of the drug use and neglect and abuse.
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
I think honesty is the best policy.
"Girls are crazy! I'm not ever getting married, I can make my own sandwiches!"
my son
my son
-
chonsigirl
- Posts: 33633
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
It always depends on the situation. Sometimes from a young age, if the child is a different ethnic mix then the parents. Otherwise, they might hear very hurtful comments from outsiders and not understand. I have a Korean brother and sister-my brother was 11 when he came here, so of course he knew. But my sister was a baby, so we told her as she grew up. People would say the most rude things all the time to us-she was prepared and understood. The people asking the questions were not always prepared for our snappy replies back if they continued.....
-
Accountable
- Posts: 24818
- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
Day One gets my vote. It's a fact of life that isn't shameful in any way. The "real" mom & dad are the ones who feed & clothe & love you, who shower the kid with praise and teach moral and social responsibility. The bio parents showed their love by allowing the kid to live with the real parents, thereby giving her/him a chance at a better life than might have been possible any other way.
It's not adoption that hurts, it's the prolonged lie.
It's not adoption that hurts, it's the prolonged lie.
-
DelicateDominatrix
- Posts: 535
- Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 2:15 pm
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
I think you tell them when you feel they are old enough to understand that I/we became their parent(s) because we love you and wanted to be your parents.That the one who gave birth to you loved you but couldnt not take care of you.
Its a hard thing,but its something that has to be told to the child.Great topic
Its a hard thing,but its something that has to be told to the child.Great topic
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
i think what you all say is right,but you have got to think about the era,my mum had affair and her husband (my dad) knew i was not his but he choose to adopt me after 2 years has i lived with my real dad in london for that time.when i was adopted dad thougt it best not for me to know the turth,i think that was wrong,as i think i would of been a much better person to deal with certain emotions.
I am very lucky to be adopted as he taught me so much,but i just wish he and my mum was honest,i think dad thought i would want to find my real dad and that is something i guess was always his worries,but if they were honest both my parents would of known it was them i loved and intrested it,
I have already said it and i will say it again,i am pleased this post has been done has this brings alot of memories to front and it is good for me to face and i thank BC and fg for making this happen for me .I hope i have not said to much and have pizzed anyone off
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am very lucky to be adopted as he taught me so much,but i just wish he and my mum was honest,i think dad thought i would want to find my real dad and that is something i guess was always his worries,but if they were honest both my parents would of known it was them i loved and intrested it,
I have already said it and i will say it again,i am pleased this post has been done has this brings alot of memories to front and it is good for me to face and i thank BC and fg for making this happen for me .I hope i have not said to much and have pizzed anyone off
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The rottie queen
-
Accountable
- Posts: 24818
- Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am
When do you tell an adopted child its adopted?
Oh no doubt! a generation ago was a different story completely. My answer probably would have been different.