Pretty Scared

Scott Hetkowski · Post by **Scott Hetkowski** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:40 pm

My father was forced to retire about five years ago due to Chron's disease. In a nutshell, Crohn's disease is a chronic, episodic, inflammatory condition of the gastrointestinal tract. However, Crohn's disease is a condition for which there is currently no cure. My mother has sustained an injury in which the motion in her neck and right arm is limited, hence she is unable to work either.

I cannot get a job because last year I was discharged from a job for stealing. I was told by a fellow employee (long time employee) that if going on break, I can eat my food before I pay for it, and then just pay for it after. Turns out, I'm not allowed to eat stuff before paying for it, so I got fired for "stealing". They put it on my record, and now when places do a background check before hiring me, they see it and I automatically get turned down. We spoke with a lawyer who said they can probably get it off of my record, but we don't have any money to pay for a lawyer. We can't pay for our house or cars really, and we can't sell our house because the market is so bad, no one will buy. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice they could offer and what we/I could do to supply ourselves with an income?

I'm getting scared and I don't know what to do. Borrowing isn't an option, because we can't work to pay it back.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:44 pm

Scott Hetkowski;677211 wrote: My father was forced to retire about five years ago due to Chron's disease. In a nutshell, Crohn's disease is a chronic, episodic, inflammatory condition of the gastrointestinal tract. However, Crohn's disease is a condition for which there is currently no cure. My mother has sustained an injury in which the motion in her neck and right arm is limited, hence she is unable to work either.

I cannot get a job because last year I was discharged from a job for stealing. I was told by a fellow employee (long time employee) that if going on break, I can eat my food before I pay for it, and then just pay for it after. Turns out, I'm not allowed to eat stuff before paying for it, so I got fired for "stealing". They put it on my record, and now when places do a background check before hiring me, they see it and I automatically get turned down. We spoke with a lawyer who said they can probably get it off of my record, but we don't have any money to pay for a lawyer. We can't pay for our house or cars really, and we can't sell our house because the market is so bad, no one will buy. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice they could offer and what we/I could do to supply ourselves with an income?

I'm getting scared and I don't know what to do. Borrowing isn't an option, because we can't work to pay it back.

That's a real sad story.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:45 pm

Scott

Thank you for being candid

Have you tried State assistance? - apply for everything - theres medical available for your parents - $$$ assistance -

Have your parents apply for disability - Social Security

Patsy

Scott Hetkowski · Post by **Scott Hetkowski** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:50 pm

Patsy Warnick;677215 wrote: Scott

Thank you for being candid

Have you tried State assistance? - apply for everything - theres medical available for your parents - $$$ assistance -

Have your parents apply for disability - Social Security

Patsy

I'm not sure, they may have. Is it enough to support four people plus house and car payments?

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:55 pm

Scott

If your father has a disabiliting disease - he needs to apply for everything, which will assist your parents & all children under 18 yrs of age..

If your over 18 - start walking - hit the pavement and get a job - I don't care if you wash cars - get a job..

If your as scared as you say you are - start walking

Good luck

Patsy

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:56 pm

If both your parents had incomes prior to their disabilities they may have a fairly good amount coming to them. You have to give it a try. Also can you collect unemployment??

Here is a link to the Social Security Disability benefits site: GOOD LUCK

http://www.ssa.gov/disability/

[QUOTE]I'm not sure, they may have. Is it enough to support four people plus house and car payments? [/QUOTE]

Scott Hetkowski · Post by **Scott Hetkowski** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 8:57 pm

Patsy Warnick;677223 wrote: Scott

If your father has a disabiliting disease - he needs to apply for everything, which will assist your parents & all children under 18 yrs of age..

If your over 18 - start walking - hit the pavement and get a job - I don't care if you wash cars - get a job..

If your as scared as you say you are - start walking

Good luck

Patsy

I can't get a job... I just explained why. I have been applying and applying, I cannot get hired because of my record.

CARLA;677224 wrote: If both your parents had incomes prior to their disabilities they may have a fairly good amount coming to them. You have to give it a try. Also can you collect unemployment??

Here is a link to the Social Security Disability benefits site: GOOD LUCK

http://www.ssa.gov/disability/

Thanks, Carla.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:03 pm

Scott, I don't mean to sound cynical...honestly I don't....but I know hardened criminals that have jobs....a friend of mine served 13 years of a 40 year sentence and works his butt off....you might have to sweep floors or flip burgers, but if a man wants to work, usually can find a way.

As for housing and taking care of your parents, I think previous posters had good suggestions...You can get assistance....just have to jump through some hoops and do some magic tricks...but you can do it!!:-6

Scott Hetkowski · Post by **Scott Hetkowski** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:08 pm

WonderWendy3;677228 wrote: Scott, I don't mean to sound cynical...honestly I don't....but I know hardened criminals that have jobs....a friend of mine served 13 years of a 40 year sentence and works his butt off....you might have to sweep floors or flip burgers, but if a man wants to work, usually can find a way.

As for housing and taking care of your parents, I think previous posters had good suggestions...You can get assistance....just have to jump through some hoops and do some magic tricks...but you can do it!!:-6

Thanks, Wendy. I've been trying, the job market is just really bad here. It's extremely hard for people with clean records. But maybe I just haven't looked at the right places. It's hard because I live in the suburbs and everything is miles and miles away and I have no transportation. I can walk, but it would take all day just to apply to a few places that would probably turn me down. :-/

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:12 pm

Scott Hetkowski;677231 wrote: Thanks, Wendy. I've been trying, the job market is just really bad here. It's extremely hard for people with clean records. But maybe I just haven't looked at the right places. It's hard because I live in the suburbs and everything is miles and miles away and I have no transportation. I can walk, but it would take all day just to apply to a few places that would probably turn me down. :-/

ummmm, you have the internet??? Monster search.com and many others....google jobs in your area. Nowadays they do the applications online. I was laid off last Sept. and I don't think I filled out one paper application.

I know for a fact that Subway and Food Lion (one of the major food stores in my area) take applications online.

Also, Craigslist.com....come on Scott, you can do it!!!:):)

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:19 pm

WonderWendy

Thank you - my point exactly

Scott

Your father qualifies for Social Security Disability & your mother unemployment,

and all other discount low income programs available - which will give a discount on your phone service - electric - gas etc..

As far as you working - How old are you? How scared are you?

If money needs to be coming into that household - then pick crops - just get a job.

I'm sorry for the situation your family is in as thousands here can relate to.

Patsy

Scott Hetkowski · Post by **Scott Hetkowski** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:24 pm

WonderWendy3;677233 wrote: ummmm, you have the internet??? Monster search.com and many others....google jobs in your area. Nowadays they do the applications online. I was laid off last Sept. and I don't think I filled out one paper application.

I know for a fact that Subway and Food Lion (one of the major food stores in my area) take applications online.

Also, Craigslist.com....come on Scott, you can do it!!!:):)

Yeah, I know, but one look at my record and they will turn me down. I can try though. Thanks for the support.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:24 pm

almostfamous;677240 wrote: did I just hear the "mommy voice"

:-4

mmmhmmmmm, you know it sweet cheeks!!!:yh_love:yh_kiss:yh_angel

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:28 pm

Scott Hetkowski;677242 wrote: Yeah, I know, but one look at my record and they will turn me down. I can try though. Thanks for the support.

I know its hard, how old are you? what skills do you have?? Do you know anyone that you can work for that can kind of get your foot in the door?

I worked for a builder (residential home builder) that the President of the company was known for his "second chance" ways about him...2 of his best workers were ex-convicts...and they made a good income with him, and stuck with him for a few years....

Do you live in the US??

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:30 pm

Almost

LOVE IT..

Scott

You have several excuses

Patsy

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 12:44 am

scott where abouts to do you come from? if this is your first affence why is it hard for you to get a job.A girl where i worked stole quite alot of money and belive me it was alot,and she has now got herself another job!

Like wendy said there is a job out there just keep with it.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:59 am

Scott You also might qualify for a state appointed attorney, at no charge,

If you are innocent of the charges, as you explained ( and I believe you) you have to fight to clear yourself. Many people would understand that a young person made an error in judgement. I agree with everyone that your parents have to qualify for disability benefits, early social security etc....

Getting these benefits will take time. In the interim you all probably should prepare your selves to lose some of the material things you described. In the condition you all are in, a move into town seems like it would be wise. I know for a fact that restaurants often will ignore criminal charges on an applicants record. This all must be very frightening. My heart goes out to you and your family.i

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 7:54 am

I have hired hundreds of people over the years. Some with records some on work release etc. etc. Everyone makes mistakes and when it comes to mistakes yours is so minor I wouldn't even blink an eye. All it takes is a willingness to work and you can get a job. Trust me.

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 9:28 am

Scott Hetkowski;677211 wrote: My father was forced to retire about five years ago due to Chron's disease. In a nutshell, Crohn's disease is a chronic, episodic, inflammatory condition of the gastrointestinal tract. However, Crohn's disease is a condition for which there is currently no cure. My mother has sustained an injury in which the motion in her neck and right arm is limited, hence she is unable to work either.

I cannot get a job because last year I was discharged from a job for stealing. I was told by a fellow employee (long time employee) that if going on break, I can eat my food before I pay for it, and then just pay for it after. Turns out, I'm not allowed to eat stuff before paying for it, so I got fired for "stealing". They put it on my record, and now when places do a background check before hiring me, they see it and I automatically get turned down. We spoke with a lawyer who said they can probably get it off of my record, but we don't have any money to pay for a lawyer. We can't pay for our house or cars really, and we can't sell our house because the market is so bad, no one will buy. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice they could offer and what we/I could do to supply ourselves with an income?

I'm getting scared and I don't know what to do. Borrowing isn't an option, because we can't work to pay it back.

Well Scott you came here for advice. And most all the advice replies say get a job! And your reply is "you can't get a job"! And you're right, you can't get a job, cause you won't even apply for one!

Curious, so you say, you had a problem with a fast food job you had, (which means you're old enough to work in the first place) for eating food without paying for it first. Why didn't the manager of the place tell you all the rules & regulations when you started there? Especialy the most important one in a food place, "no free food", pay for it!!! You need to stop saying "they" won't hire me cause I have a record. Apply and see if they actually tell you that!!!

Scott Hetkowski · Post by **Scott Hetkowski** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 10:19 am

cars;677405 wrote: Well Scott you came here for advice. And most all the advice replies say get a job! And your reply is "you can't get a job"! And you're right, you can't get a job, cause you won't even apply for one!

Curious, so you say, you had a problem with a fast food job you had, (which means you're old enough to work in the first place) for eating food without paying for it first. Why didn't the manager of the place tell you all the rules & regulations when you started there? Especialy the most important one in a food place, "no free food", pay for it!!! You need to stop saying "they" won't hire me cause I have a record. Apply and see if they actually tell you that!!!

I won't apply for one? I have applied and applied and applied. I have no idea where you got the idea that I have not applied anywhere. I never said I worked at a fast food restaurant either, so that would be why the manager didn't explain the rules on "free food" in a food place... I did not think the food was free, but that you could pay after your break as I was told. You didn't read the initial post very well. I have actually received letters in the mail from places that I have applied to explaining that they will NOT hire me because of my record. So yeah, "they" have actually told me that.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 10:53 am

ARe you from the states??

I have a hard time believing that you've been turned down for jobs due to a missunderstanding.

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:58 am

Scott Hetkowski;677425 wrote: I won't apply for one? I have applied and applied and applied. I have no idea where you got the idea that I have not applied anywhere. I never said I worked at a fast food restaurant either, so that would be why the manager didn't explain the rules on "free food" in a food place... I did not think the food was free, but that you could pay after your break as I was told. You didn't read the initial post very well. I have actually received letters in the mail from places that I have applied to explaining that they will NOT hire me because of my record. So yeah, "they" have actually told me that.
A food place is a food place, (call it a restaurant) the manager sets the rules on the first day!

What type of jobs are you applying for that always does a "background" check during the initial application!!!? Are you only applying for jobs that involves you having to work on "secret" projects?:-2

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 12:13 pm

cars;677466 wrote: A food place is a food place, (call it a restaurant) the manager sets the rules on the first day!

What type of jobs are you applying for that always does a "background" check during the initial application!!!? Are you only applying for jobs that involves you having to work on "secret" projects?:-2

Over here all of the application forms that I have filled out, have asked if I have a criminal conviction. If I did have one but replied 'no', it would be grounds to withdraw any job offer.

Scott, things must be pretty tough at the moment, but never lose faith, keep trying and I'm sure something will turn up for you, have you thought about offering your services voluntary for maybe a month trial, on the basis if they are happy they could keep you on as an employee, also the experience would be good, always good to build up your references. :-6

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 12:34 pm

SuzyB;677472 wrote: Over here all of the application forms that I have filled out, have asked if I have a criminal conviction. If I did have one but replied 'no', it would be grounds to withdraw any job offer.

Scott, things must be pretty tough at the moment, but never lose faith, keep trying and I'm sure something will turn up for you, have you thought about offering your services voluntary for maybe a month trial, on the basis if they are happy they could keep you on as an employee, also the experience would be good, always good to build up your references. :-6

Right SuzyB, but Scott doesn't say where he is! Here in the States, many job applications are treated pretty casually, unless the job involves corporate & or Govt secret issues type work.

Scott, SuzyB offered you some good advice, why not try the voluntary work route, and see if you can build upon that job, and turn it into a paying one!

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:07 pm

If you want to tear down engines I have a position open right now. It's a hot greasy job and the benefits suck but you start around $9 bucks an hour.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:42 pm

Another idea is "temporary work", there are usually these temporary agencies and they can help you find a job aka "job placement agency" When I was looking for a full time job after being unemployed for 10 years, I signed on with 4 different agencies at one time so that I could find a job.

Patrick · Post by **Patrick** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 3:32 pm

Maybe I missed it, but did your former employer only fire you, or did he file criminal charges as well. Because if he didn't call the cops and have you arrested there's no record.

Just apply for a new job and don't put the old one down as part of your work history or reference. Unless you live in a small town where everyone knows one another, who’s going to know? It's not like a perspective employer can access your tax records to catch you denying where you've worked.

Now if you did get charged and convicted of something you'll probably have to work some crappy jobs for a while to build up some professional references that say they trust you to compensate for an arrest record.

Also I recommend looking at some kind of trade school or community college in the evenings once you get back on your feet.

The absolute last resort that I can recommend (and I use that word at its loosest meaning) is the military. You can send money home while keeping yourself housed and fed and possibly getting the basics of a skill you can use on the outside (maybe). But don’t do it unless you really believe there are no options left.

It's tough and I know you're scared. I've been pretty close to where you're at now (there's a reason I'm a 33 year old college sophomore). I know you can make it. The alternative is just lying down and dying. Don't go out like that.

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 3:37 pm

WonderWendy3;677528 wrote: Another idea is "temporary work", there are usually these temporary agencies and they can help you find a job aka "job placement agency" When I was looking for a full time job after being unemployed for 10 years, I signed on with 4 different agencies at one time so that I could find a job.

You really must have wanted to find a job, didn't you WW?!

And find one you did, good going!!

;)

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 3:53 pm

Scott Hetkowski;677211 wrote: My father was forced to retire about five years ago due to Chron's disease. In a nutshell, Crohn's disease is a chronic, episodic, inflammatory condition of the gastrointestinal tract. However, Crohn's disease is a condition for which there is currently no cure. My mother has sustained an injury in which the motion in her neck and right arm is limited, hence she is unable to work either.

I cannot get a job because last year I was discharged from a job for stealing. I was told by a fellow employee (long time employee) that if going on break, I can eat my food before I pay for it, and then just pay for it after. Turns out, I'm not allowed to eat stuff before paying for it, so I got fired for "stealing". They put it on my record, and now when places do a background check before hiring me, they see it and I automatically get turned down. We spoke with a lawyer who said they can probably get it off of my record, but we don't have any money to pay for a lawyer. We can't pay for our house or cars really, and we can't sell our house because the market is so bad, no one will buy. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice they could offer and what we/I could do to supply ourselves with an income?

I'm getting scared and I don't know what to do. Borrowing isn't an option, because we can't work to pay it back.

I have done human resources jobs and I know for a fact that an employer can only tell others when you worked for the company and when you were let go. If they say anything to make you look bad, you would have a case against them. Just keep trying to find a job and goodluck.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 3:54 pm

In reading back over what you posted some time back, you said "I like to persuade people on the Web". So far, you have done a pretty good snow job on some of these all believing folks.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 5:08 pm

Lon;677557 wrote: In reading back over what you posted some time back, you said "I like to persuade people on the Web". So far, you have done a pretty good snow job on some of these all believing folks.

I think you must think that most of us that would like to offer words of encouragement are weak and gulliable people, that's not the case Lon, if Scott is telling porkie pies, I am sure that taking a few minutes to reply to a thread is not going to cause me any harm, leave the poor guy alone.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 5:15 pm

[quote=SuzyB;677600]I think you must think that most of us that would like to offer words of encouragement are weak and gulliable people,.

You said it.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 5:21 pm

Lon;677604 wrote: [quote=SuzyB;677600]I think you must think that most of us that would like to offer words of encouragement are weak and gulliable people,.

You said it.

It's a real shame that your perception of so many of us is like that Lon, just out of interest do you analyse folks as much in real life? Do you have many friends or more aquaitences?

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 8:39 pm

Our paths have crossed online before, I believe... is this the same Scott that is a web designer/artist/skateboarder? I've also fired an employee for this very offense, too... but I had no problems helping the kid find another job, afterwards. The general consensus here is that you should find a means of earning an income, whether it be under the employment of another or on your own... unless you live in the 'burbs of Detroit... I don't see the issue here. Are you seeking advice or a handout?

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 10:25 pm

G-man;677668 wrote: Our paths have crossed online before, I believe... is this the same Scott that is a web designer/artist/skateboarder? I've also fired an employee for this very offense, too... but I had no problems helping the kid find another job, afterwards. The general consensus here is that you should find a means of earning an income, whether it be under the employment of another or on your own... unless you live in the 'burbs of Detroit... I don't see the issue here. Are you seeking advice or a handout?

I knew there was something that I liked about you.:-6

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 10:51 pm

The fact that you say you were fired for stealing sounds a bit weird. A company cannot fire you for stealing, what they can do is if they catch you stealing, is call the police or security and have you charged with stealing, and then fire you for breech of contract. It would be the police record, not your employers record the would then prevent you from getting jobs. Companies cannot disclose that information to other companies.

If you were charged, then it must have been more serious that you say, because most employers (when they have you nailed) would rather request the employee to resign first if it is a minor offence, (and you taking a bit of food would be a minor offence). Firing someone is a pain-in-the ass for companies.

I don’t think that you are giving us the full story.

Sorry about you dad though.