the english language

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RedGlitter
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Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:51 am

the english language

Post by RedGlitter »

Why is English the lingua franca

Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.

ENGLISH IS TOUGH STUFF

======================



Dearest creature in creation,

Study English pronunciation.

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye, your dress will tear.

So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.



Just compare heart, beard, and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it's written.)

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak:

Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;

Cloven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.



Hear me say, devoid of trickery,

Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,

Exiles, similes, and reviles;

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war and far;

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;

Gertrude, German, wind and mind,

Scene, Melpomene, mankind.



Billet does not rhyme with ballet,

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad,

Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation's OK

When you correctly say croquet,

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive and live.



Ivy, privy, famous; clamour

And enamour rhyme with hammer.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,

Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,

Neither does devour with clangour.

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,

Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,

And then singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,

Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.



Query does not rhyme with very,

Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.

Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,

We say actual but victual.

Refer does not rhyme with deafer.

Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Mint, pint, senate and sedate;

Dull, bull, and George ate late.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific.



Liberty, library, heave and heaven,

Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,

People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover,

Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,

Chalice, but police and lice;

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label.



Petal, panel, and canal,

Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,

Senator, spectator, mayor.

Tour, but our and succour, four.

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, Korea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.

Doctrine, turpentine, marine.



Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.

Say aver, but ever, fever,

Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.

Heron, granary, canary.

Crevice and device and aerie.



Face, but preface, not efface.

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear

Do not rhyme with here but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,

Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.



Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!

Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won't it make you lose your wits,

Writing groats and saying grits?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel:

Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,

Housewife, verdict and indict.



Finally, which rhymes with enough --

Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?

Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is to give up!!!



-- Author Unknown

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AussiePam
Posts: 9898
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

the english language

Post by AussiePam »

Merde!!! I'm taking the advice in the final line and giving it up. Dorénavant je parlerai seulement français!
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

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minks
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Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:58 pm

the english language

Post by minks »

certain

circle

sir

service

surreal

all have the same starting sound........ yep no wonder it's confusing eh....
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

• Mae West
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AussiePam
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Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

the english language

Post by AussiePam »

Struth, Sport. And that's without the Canadian accent, even, eh!!!!
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

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minks
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Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:58 pm

the english language

Post by minks »

AussiePam;679388 wrote: Struth, Sport. And that's without the Canadian accent, even, eh!!!!


oh don't make me start with my Canadian Accent there girl friend! ahahaha do we have one I mean really do we??? What ever could you be talking aboot. :P
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

• Mae West
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along-for-the-ride
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Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm

the english language

Post by along-for-the-ride »

I think the English speak English, and Americans speak American.

Both countries have such different slang expressions and phrases and different names for different things.

I, personally, love to hear the Brits speak.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
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minks
Posts: 26281
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:58 pm

the english language

Post by minks »

along-for-the-ride;679412 wrote: I think the English speak English, and Americans speak American.

Both countries have such different slang expressions and phrases and different names for different things.

I, personally, love to hear the Brits speak.


You know us Canadians think the same! HAH and we are stuck in the middle but hey we are neighbors/neighbours to all :D
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�

• Mae West
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AussiePam
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Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:57 pm

the english language

Post by AussiePam »

And the Aussie speak Strine!! Fair dinkum true blue best bloody lingo ever!!

:sneaky:
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

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