Battle between the sexes..a question for the men here

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 1:57 pm

Do all heterosexual men have the need to dominate the woman in their lives?

is there such a thing as equality or is it always going to be a struggle between the man wanting to be superior and the woman submissive? i am curious..i used to think it was just my dad and then my ex but i see this in almost all men..do men always feel the need to win..at all costs? esp. over a woman? i always had the idea that only a man with no balls felt that need to beat a woman..but maybe i have had it wrong the whole time....comments?

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:08 pm

Wow, there is a generality if I ever saw one. Maybe you have had or seen some bad experiences but please don’t put all of us ‘heterosexuals’ into one categorization. Most people I know are in good balanced relationships, and don’t kid yourself, very often the woman rules the household.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:10 pm

in the bedroom suzy dominates but elswhere we are pretty equal :sneaky::sneaky:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:11 pm

uoch i have just been slapped round the head

:mad:

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:16 pm

mikeinie;682137 wrote: Wow, there is a generality if I ever saw one. Maybe you have had or seen some bad experiences but please don’t put all of us ‘heterosexuals’ into one categorization. Most people I know are in good balanced relationships, and don’t kid yourself, very often the woman rules the household.

sorry for being so general here..but it is true most men are very competitive..what is it with some that if the woman can beat them they feel unmasculated somehow...why is it the worst stigma in the world to get beat by a girl?:p

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:21 pm

guppy;682141 wrote: sorry for being so general here..but it is true most men are very competitive..what is it with some that if the woman can beat them they feel unmasculated somehow...why is it the worst stigma in the world to get beat by a girl?:p

suzy is better at loads of than i am i dont have a problem gupster

i think your just bragging that you think you can do most things better than your man/men/harem :rolleyes::D

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:25 pm

no i am not bragging..i love to fish..my ex used to take me but when i got to where i could catch more than he did once in a while..that was over..and we played golf ..i beat him once..never went back....

one of my freinds just called earlier and was telling me she beat her husband at bowling of all things and he got mad and left her at the bowling alley...i think that is so pathetic...:-2

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:28 pm

guppy;682145 wrote: no i am not bragging..i love to fish..my ex used to take me but when i got to where i could catch more than he did once in a while..that was over..and we played golf ..i beat him once..never went back....

one of my freinds just called earlier and was telling me she beat her husband at bowling of all things and he got mad and left her at the bowling alley...i think that is so pathetic...:-2

all i hear are mixed signals ....

:D

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:30 pm

jimbo;682146 wrote: all i hear are mixed signals ....

:D

suzi..knock him round the head again for me please....:wah:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:35 pm

guppy;682147 wrote: suzi..knock him round the head again for me please....:wah:

thats great you post about equality then try and get me bullied :wah::wah:

good to see you guppy how you dowin

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:45 pm

doing good ..how are you?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:59 pm

Oh I need to be dominant both in bed and out of it, though it doesn't always work out that way. :wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:07 pm

I like a man to dominate in bed, and honestly in my younger years, was a VERY submissive woman, but I see your point Guppy....Men are competitive and they are the "Hunter" and the "Head of Household"...I'm sure that all men aren't shauvanistic pigs and pull women around by their hair.....speaking of ...where is YZGI????

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:10 pm

guppy;682145 wrote: no i am not bragging..i love to fish..my ex used to take me but when i got to where i could catch more than he did once in a while..that was over..and we played golf ..i beat him once..never went back....

one of my freinds just called earlier and was telling me she beat her husband at bowling of all things and he got mad and left her at the bowling alley...i think that is so pathetic...:-2

A few, or even lots of, examples of weak men who cannot cope with their inferiority does not equate to all men being that way.

There are many, many, examples of men who do not see life in terms of a battle or need to dominate.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:12 pm

How quick did this turn to sex :wah:

My ex husband certainly had to be dominant in all areas.

I'm looking for my equal this time, several have slipped through the net so far, just won't do as they're told :-5

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:14 pm

Let's define dominance. Beating me on the golf course means bully for you and I'm cooking dinner. (And I have to get my game up). You've done well and I'm proud of you.

Rear ending the car in front of you because you were applying eye liner means you're irresponsible.

If you have faith in the fact that I will take care of you and protect you from any harm you will accept the fact that there will be repercussions for your actions.

D/S is not a game. It's an accepted lifestyle agreed upon by both parties.

You're ex was not being dominant. He was being a wimpering little boy.

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:18 pm

Gups no men are the same as no women are,we are all people.Some like to dominate,some like to please.If you pick a bossy man then surely you would know how he was before you married him.At the end of the day a couple either except each other warts and all,or they don't get together in the first place,

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:26 pm

JacksDad;682168 wrote: Let's define dominance. Beating me on the golf course means bully for you and I'm cooking dinner. (And I have to get my game up). You've done well and I'm proud of you.

Rear ending the car in front of you because you were applying eye liner means you're irresponsible.

If you have faith in the fact that I will take care of you and protect you from any harm you will accept the fact that there will be repercussions for your actions.

D/S is not a game. It's an accepted lifestyle agreed upon by both parties.

You're ex was not being dominant. He was being a wimpering little boy.

i liked you whole answer except the eyeliner bit..i am not that stupid...:wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:28 pm

guppy;682172 wrote: i liked you whole answer except the eyeliner bit..i am not that stupid...:wah:

Geesh, doesn't he know that we only pluck our eyebrows in the car??

Eyeliner is for the bathroom.....where there is a line....

:wah:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:29 pm

I dont want to dominate anyone. Man or woman. Its ridiculous to think all men bend that way. Is it possible its the men you seek out or just let happen in your life ?

I very much enjoy a woman that can not only stand up for herself yet still be flexible.

Sorry gupster but you should recheck your responsibility in the relationships you choose.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:33 pm

Nomad;682175 wrote: I dont want to dominate anyone. Man or woman. Its ridiculous to think all men bend that way. Is it possible its the men you seek out or just let happen in your life ?

I very much enjoy a woman that can not only stand up for herself yet still be flexible.

Sorry gupster but you should recheck your responsibility in the relationships you choose.

I'm with Nomad on this, I spent over twelve years with an abusive partner, at the end of the day I allowed him to do that to me, no one else, it's to do with self worth. I believed, whether conciously, or sub consciously that I deserved no better.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:34 pm

here is how alot of men think..i pulled a thirty three foot boat over to the next town for my friends husband..i took it to his work place..when i got there the men were all standing in a group asking bryan how butch i was because i was pulling the boat...and he was laughing his ass off.at the generalizing of me because of what i was doing...and needless to say when i got there they were speechless...and falling all over themselves to talk to me...

news flash for ya guys..a woman can be all feminine and girly and still do things...:p

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:34 pm

Betty Boop;682179 wrote: I'm with Nomad on this, I spent over twelve years with an abusive partner, at the end of the day I allowed him to do that to me, no one else, it's to do with self worth. I believed, whether conciously, or sub consciously that I deserved no better.

Get me some dinner woman and it better be hot !

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:36 pm

Nomad;682181 wrote: Get me some dinner woman and it better be hot !

oh sure..and when you are at the drive through pick me something up too...:wah:

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:36 pm

Nomad;682181 wrote: Get me some dinner woman and it better be hot !

Get it your bliddy self, I'm redecorating the bathroom you made an absolute bliddy mess of! :p:wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:37 pm

Nomad;682181 wrote: Get me some dinner woman and it better be hot !

Don't forget to take him his smoking jacket, slippers and remote.....

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:38 pm

[quote=guppy;682133]Do all heterosexual men have the need to dominate the woman in their lives?

A resounding NO!! First of all, my first marriage of 30 years (she died) would have never lasted that long if I had tried in any way shape or form to dominate her. She was just too strong a lady to put up with it. My second marriage of 17 years is no different. Secondly, I don't feel the need to dominate either my wife or anyone else for that matter. Your statement is a generality and apparently only based on the men that you have come into contact with, which is truly unfortunate.

Also---------Your mom picked your dad and you picked your ex. I am sure you both would have seen these dominate traits before marriage.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:45 pm

Funny I was actually thinking about this this morning. I would never want to break my wifes spirit. So those times when she talks about things that might not be overly interesting to me I make myself pause, relax and listen. If I were to brush her off about this or that eventually shed stop talking to me. I want her to know she can say anything to me. If Im busy I always try to come back and sit down and listen. Its important.

If you try to dominate another person its a form of breaking their spirit. Why would someone want to do that ?

Building and nourishing another no matter who they are is so much more rewarding. Everyone wins.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:46 pm

just to set the record straight .i am free now..and i saw the pattern ot pick what i knew..i just happen to be in a place where i can watch alot of that kind of behavior now..in people i never thought would be that way...and i am making comments on how some people are....

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:47 pm

Nomad;682187 wrote: Funny I was actually thinking about this this morning. I would never want to break my wifes spirit. So those times when she talks about things that might not be overly interesting to me I make myself pause, relax and listen. If I were to brush her off about this or that eventually shed stop talking to me. I want her to know she can say anything to me. If Im busy I always try to come back and sit down and listen. Its important.

If you try to dominate another person its a form of breaking their spirit. Why would someone want to do that ?

Building and nourishing another no matter who they are is so much more rewarding. Everyone wins.

amen..brother...

:-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:47 pm

guppy;682188 wrote: just to set the record straight .i am free now..and i saw the pattern ot pick what i knew..i just happen to be in a place where i can watch alot of that kind of behavior now..in people i never thought would be that way...and i am making comments on how some people are....

I didnt even know fish had relationships :-3

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:51 pm

guppy;682172 wrote: i liked you whole answer except the eyeliner bit..i am not that stupid...

That's a true story. She did it on her way to work while I was still home. I heard it on the traffic report on the radio and said to my self, "SUSAN!" :wah:

She a lurker here. Hi SFSuz. Love ya still.

guppy;682180 wrote: news flash for ya guys..a woman can be all feminine and girly and still do things...:p
There ya go. Again. I'm cookin dinner tonight.

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:53 pm

Nomad;682190 wrote: I didnt even know fish had relationships :-3

Where do ya think baby guppys come from?

C'mere. We gotta talk.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:54 pm

JacksDad;682192 wrote: Where do ya think baby guppys come from?

C'mere. We gotta talk.

Its all so confusing. :-2

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 6:40 pm

Nomad;682187 wrote: Funny I was actually thinking about this this morning. I would never want to break my wifes spirit. So those times when she talks about things that might not be overly interesting to me I make myself pause, relax and listen. If I were to brush her off about this or that eventually shed stop talking to me. I want her to know she can say anything to me. If Im busy I always try to come back and sit down and listen. Its important.

If you try to dominate another person its a form of breaking their spirit. Why would someone want to do that ?

Building and nourishing another no matter who they are is so much more rewarding. Everyone wins.

A sensible post Nomad.

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 7:21 pm

almostfamous;682240 wrote: No I don't think they are. I think it's just a natural way of things sometimes when it comes to one's hobbies and such.

I'm a very self-sufficient and independent woman. I can be competitive at times but I know when it's time to let 'him' help. I think sometimes what bothers men most and allows us to see we've ruffled their feathers is when we're so headstrong that they don't feel needed.

Men need to be needed just as much as we do. Emotionally, they're not built the same as we are and show things much differently. An ex boyfriend and I used to play Playstation 2 a lot. There was one game in particular that I just kicked ass at, it drove him nuts! He refused to play with me so I would compromise and throw in an atv game every now and then.:rolleyes::D

Fair enough.

:D

KB. · Post by **KB.** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 7:51 pm

Do all heterosexual men have the need to dominate the woman in their lives?

Of course not.

KB. · Post by **KB.** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:00 pm

To add to that you are confusing boys with men. My father never tried to dominate or wanted to, and neither did my grandfather. I don't need to either. Forgive me for what I am about to say but if you think all hetero men feel the need to dominate their spouses, girl friends etc that is all you will ever find. Hell my Grandfather told me the reason he had been married for 60 plus years to the same woman was that no matter what, even if she was dead wrong, she was always right. All of this, here is how a lot of, and do ALL of them talk is silly. I'm glad through all of the women I have dealt with I am still able to keep an open mind and never to assume one is just like the last one just because she has a vagina between her legs.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:08 pm

KB.;682283 wrote: To add to that you are confusing boys with men. My father never tried to dominate or wanted to, and neither did my grandfather. I don't need to either. Forgive me for what I am about to say but if you think all hetero men feel the need to dominate their spouses, girl friends etc that is all you will ever find.

i dont think that at all..i just wondered what the opinions on here would be..i do know men that dont feel that way....and dont act that way...:-6

KB. · Post by **KB.** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:14 pm

Change those declarative statements around then. You are giving the wrong impression; or it could be the pain killers.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:24 pm

KB.;682288 wrote: Change those declarative statements around then. You are giving the wrong impression; or it could be the pain killers.

i apologize for making it a generalization...of course not all men think that way..wanted to know what the guys would say...

KB. · Post by **KB.** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 8:30 pm

guppy;682289 wrote: i apologize for making it a generalization...of course not all men think that way..wanted to know what the guys would say...

No need to apologize I just read it wrong I suppose.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 9:30 pm

almostfamous;682299 wrote: :wah: you're silly. jedi mind trick....:wah:

My sons name is jedi.....never thought of the ole mind tricck stuff...... hmmmmm

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Sun Aug 19, 2007 10:40 pm

almostfamous;682299 wrote: :wah: you're silly. jedi mind trick....:wah:

Hey!

That sh1t works! It's spooky. :-3

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:25 am

I have always felt that strong and capable women are attractive. Men have always been drawn to these traits in me. However after a while, they would begin to resent the very characteristics that drew them to me. The problem is that I would never let one of them dominate me, hold me back, or limit my interests in things other than them. I do have to admit that if I had found one capable of doing at least as much as I do... I could have been pursuaded to be ( I hate to use the word submissive.. it makes me gag) lets say... not so tough.

henrychalder · Post by **henrychalder** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 2:39 am

A modest woman then?

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Aug 20, 2007 5:18 am

No.... definately not modest. As head of my household of 3 for 15 years, when the " man of the house" dropped the ball........modest wouldnt have allowed me the salary to pay the bills. Id call it agressive. and responsible.