funeral wear please help me

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:58 pm

I have to go to one, I am leaving right from work cause I can't afford anymore time off, I work in jeans.....

Can I get away with nice boots, clean well maintained jeans, a black long sleeved shirt and a chocolate brown leather jacket (not a biker one).

I have no dress up, nor do I have time to go home and change, I have to pick up my 2 daughters and get there in record time.

Please is this ok???

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:00 pm

minks;693694 wrote: I have to go to one, I am leaving right from work cause I can't afford anymore time off, I work in jeans.....

Can I get away with nice boots, clean well maintained jeans, a black long sleeved shirt and a chocolate brown leather jacket (not a biker one).

I have no dress up, nor do I have time to go home and change, I have to pick up my 2 daughters and get there in record time.

Please is this ok???

Can you take a pair of black trousers to work with you? Then you could get changed in the rest room just before you leave.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:04 pm

SuzyB;693696 wrote: Can you take a pair of black trousers to work with you? Then you could get changed in the rest room just before you leave.

closest I own Suzy is black jeans

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:05 pm

As long as you're neat and clean what matters most is that your presence is there. At the end of the day, the bereaved won't remember what you had on. Just if you were there or not.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:07 pm

minks;693701 wrote: closest I own Suzy is black jeans

I would wear them with the boots, shirt and jacket, but Red is right the most important thing is that you are there to pay your respects and comfort your friend :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:07 pm

RedGlitter;693702 wrote: As long as you're neat and clean what matters most is that your presence is there. At the end of the day, the bereaved won't remember what you had on. Just if you were there or not.

I kinda hope that too.... I know my mother would be motified if she knew I was even considering jeans. This is the dam joys of blue collar employment never a need to go formal.

UGH!!!

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:08 pm

SuzyB;693704 wrote: I would wear them with the boots, shirt and jacket, but Red is right the most important thing is that you are there to pay your respects and comfort your friend :-4

OOOOkay I could pack along the black jeans so as not to risk getting them dirty and do a superwoman change in the phone booth and run.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:09 pm

Yeah I understand that Minks, I'm a jeans girl myself.

Wear your best and forget the rest. Just be there. :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:10 pm

magenta flame;693708 wrote: I've noticed a trend these days of people wearing neat casual to funerals.

It's the fact that you turned up, not what you wear minks.

(In fact I insist that everyone who turns up to mine be dressed in clown suits:wah:)

i hear the circus music now...

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:10 pm

RedGlitter;693709 wrote: Yeah I understand that Minks, I'm a jeans girl myself.

Wear your best and forget the rest. Just be there. :-4

I promise to brush my hair too

UGH I am a saddo when it comes to fomalities.

Lisa · Post by **Lisa** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:13 pm

I agree with RG.

not to be nosey,Ok I'm being nosey.but is this about your friend you talked about the other day?

.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:21 pm

FuzzyNavel;693714 wrote: I agree with RG.

not to be nosey,Ok I'm being nosey.but is this about your friend you talked about the other day?

.

yes my friend whose wife has passed away.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:26 pm

Your presence is the important thing, the last funeral I went to I was glad to see that lots of people were wearing colour and not just black, everything is a lot more relaxed now.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:30 pm

Betty Boop;693721 wrote: Your presence is the important thing, the last funeral I went to I was glad to see that lots of people were wearing colour and not just black, everything is a lot more relaxed now.

thanks Boops I feel a bit better about this now.

booradley · Post by **booradley** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:31 pm

I would have thought jeans are a no no unless her husband has asked everyone to dress casual or in a certain colour that she particularly liked. Just stick to something darkish and pay your respects.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:34 pm

booradley;693726 wrote: I would have thought jeans are a no no unless her husband has asked everyone to dress casual or in a certain colour that she particularly liked. Just stick to something darkish and pay your respects.

Well I will do my best to look my best and not stand out how is that.

littlemissgiggle · Post by **littlemissgiggle** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:37 pm

yeah that sounds fine to me and maybe the black jeans but just you being there is more important.

:)

booradley · Post by **booradley** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:39 pm

truth be told, on the day, your friend won't notice what ANYONE is wearing. It's more what her older relatives will be keeping an eye out for. Chin up chicken, just get it over and done with and ignore himself. He's a loser.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:41 pm

booradley;693732 wrote: truth be told, on the day, your friend won't notice what ANYONE is wearing. It's more what her older relatives will be keeping an eye out for. Chin up chicken, just get it over and done with and ignore himself. He's a loser.

thanks you got it.

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:46 pm

I don't know what Miss Manners would say (actually I've got a good idea)

but I think just go jeans or no. (Well, do wear SOMETHING!!)

I've seen a definite trend toward varying degrees of funeral dress for

quite some time. I think it's changed from what we all knew from days

past.

I've seen just about everything... including jeans (scruffy ones, at that!)

at a woman's father's funeral. I've seen a bright green dress with jet

beads... looked like a Christmas cocktail party attire.

It doesn't matter in the greater scheme of things, it really doesn't.

>

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:56 pm

valerie;693737 wrote: I don't know what Miss Manners would say (actually I've got a good idea)

but I think just go jeans or no. (Well, do wear SOMETHING!!)

I've seen a definite trend toward varying degrees of funeral dress for

quite some time. I think it's changed from what we all knew from days

past.

I've seen just about everything... including jeans (scruffy ones, at that!)

at a woman's father's funeral. I've seen a bright green dress with jet

beads... looked like a Christmas cocktail party attire.

It doesn't matter in the greater scheme of things, it really doesn't.

>

thanks ya

I should add this family is very very very down to earth no frills people.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:02 pm

Mel,

It does'nt matter what you wear, you pay your respects by just being there not by the clothes you wear.

My thoughts are with you at this sad time. :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:06 pm

abbey;693750 wrote: Mel,

It does'nt matter what you wear, you pay your respects by just being there not by the clothes you wear.

My thoughts are with you at this sad time. :-4

thanks my dear

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:11 pm

When things was formal like, people was upset ifn you didn't get it right - you could split families by wearing the wrong tie :-

Our Aunt Hannah's passed away;

We'd her funeral today,

And it was a posh affair -

Had to have two p'licemen there!

The 'earse was luv'ly, all plate glass,

And wot a corfin! oak and brass!

We'd fah-sands weepin', flahers galore,

But Jim, our cousin - what d'yer fink 'e wore?

Why, brahn boots! I ask yer - brahn boots!

Fancy comin' to a funeral in brahn boots!

I will admit 'e 'ad a nice black tie,

Black fingernails and a nice black eye;

But yer can't see people orf when they die in brahn boots!

And Aunt 'ad been so very good to 'im,

Done all that any muvver could fer 'im,

And Jim, her son, to show his clarss,

Rolls up to make it all a farce

In brahn boots - I ask yer - brahn boots!

While all the rest

Wore decent black, and mourning suits.

I'll own he didn't seem so gay;

In fact he cried best part the way,

But straight, he reg'lar spoilt our day

Wiv 'is brahn boots.

In the graveyard we left Jim;

None of us said much to him.

Yus, we all give 'im the bird,

Then by accident we 'eard

'E'd given 'is black boots to Jim Small,

A bloke wot 'ad no boots at all.

So p'raps Aunt Hannah doesn't mind;

She did like people who was good and kind.

But brahn boots! I ask yer - brahn boots!

Fancy coming to a funeral in brahn boots!

And we could 'ear the neighbours all remark,

'Wot, 'im chief mourner? Wot a bloomin' lark!

'Why, 'e looks more like a bookmaker's clerk - in brahn boots!'

That's why we 'ad to be so rude to 'im,

That's why we never said 'Ow do!' to 'im.

We didn't know - he didn't say

He'd give 'is other boots away.

But brahn boots! I ask yer - brahn boots!

While all the rest

Wore decent black, and mourning suits!

But some day up at Heaven's gate

Poor Jim, all nerves, will stand and wait

Till an angel whispers 'Come in, Mate.

Where's yer brahn boots?'

But nowadays we's ain't so particular like - long as you'se respectful it's proper right enuf.

Go for it - it will be appreciated.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:14 pm

I liked that Bryn, thanks

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:18 pm

That was brilliant Bryn, I found myself saying that in my best cockney accent

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 4:38 pm

Funeral attire has gotten casual

you must hear something black as it is disrespectful (I was told)

black jeans would be fine - don't worry or black jacket

I've seen workers come directly from work in their work clothes sometimes there is no choice. A friend of mine was a Coca Cola truck driver - he showed up emblem on his shirt.

your there to show respect to the family

you sound nervous - calm down - you'll be fine..

Patsy

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:40 pm

How did it go, M?

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 11:05 am

RedGlitter;693841 wrote: How did it go, M?

I am nervous Patsy to make a long story short, there will be a lot of spectulation as to why I am showing up thanks to my ex husband. He has spread some unpleasant and untrue rumors around among the people who will be there.

But I guarantee you my friend who is who I am going in support of knows the truths, Him and my daughters.

Red it's tomorrow.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 11:19 am

minks;693993 wrote: I am nervous Patsy to make a long story short, there will be a lot of spectulation as to why I am showing up thanks to my ex husband. He has spread some unpleasant and untrue rumors around among the people who will be there.

But I guarantee you my friend who is who I am going in support of knows the truths, Him and my daughters.

Red it's tomorrow.

Do you have a pants-suit? they are usually very dressy yet casual and I'd go with darker colors than light, not necessarily black.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:17 pm

minks;693993 wrote: I am nervous Patsy to make a long story short, there will be a lot of spectulation as to why I am showing up thanks to my ex husband. He has spread some unpleasant and untrue rumors around among the people who will be there.

But I guarantee you my friend who is who I am going in support of knows the truths, Him and my daughters.

Red it's tomorrow.

Oh, sorry Minks, I missed that.

Well rumors suck but they have a habit of showing themselves up for what they are. I think you've pegged the important part- support of your friend. Hopefully anyone who's heard a rumor will have a lick of sense to wonder why he's spreading them.

Glad you got the wardrobe issue sorted. I think you'll look just fine.