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Bunny wabbits...........
Bunny wabbits...........
An ye harm none, do what ye will....
-
chonsigirl
- Posts: 33633
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 8:28 am
Bunny wabbits...........
Much nicer as pets than din-din...........
Bunny wabbits...........
The landlord's washing glasses in the pub one night, listening to all the usual customers talking and laughing, when a gust of wind blows the door open, and in walks a rabbit. Well you get all sorts of funny types in pubs so the landlord just raises an eyebrow and carries on cleaning the glasses. The rain's lashing down outside and there's thunder and lightning, but the rabbit kicks the door shut and strolls slowly over to the bar, the water running down his face, over his fur and down his hind legs and feet to the floor. He hops up on a barstool and sighs heavily.
"You alright?" the landlord asks the rabbit.
"Not so bad, not so bad" says the rabbit, wiping his face on a newspaper.
"Hard day?" says the landlord, hoping that the rabbit has money.
"Aye" says the rabbit, "I've been working like a dog all day, digging tunnels out in the rain, nicking carrots for the missus and the kids. I'm pig sick of carrots, you know, and I've hardly eaten today. I'm famished in fact. Do you have any food?"
"Well, not much" replies the landlord, but as the rabbit's whiskers droop, he says, "We could fix you a toasted sandwich"
The rabbit's ears perk up. "That'd be perfect!" he exclaims. "What kinds have you got?"
"We can fix you cheese and onion, ham and tomato or bacon and mushroom"
"You know, I just fancy a cheese and onion one. And a pint of strong lager with a rum and peppermint chaser to wash it down mine host."
So the landlord goes and a little while later one of the bar staff brings the rabbit out a toasted cheese sandwich. The rabbit eats it in about a minute flat and downs his pint of lager and rum.
Still not feeling fully refreshed, the rabbit orders a pint of scrumpy, a creme de menthe chaser and a ham and tomato toastie, all of which he proceeds to demolish swiftly.
The rabbit belches loudly and then asks the landlord to bring him a bacon and mushroom toastie with a pint of real ale, a large vodka and a double malt whisky.
About a minute after he finishes his sandwich and his drinks, he vomits violently and drops down dead on the floor.
The next night, the landlord's washing the glasses behind the bar, and the ghost of the rabbit saunters in through the door. The landlord looks at him, surprised. "Hello! We, errr... hadn't expected to see you around here again. Hard day?"
"Not too bad, not too bad" says the rabbit's ghost. "I've been working dead hard all day, scaring farmers into giving the missus carrots. Have you got any spirits for a tired rabbit?"
While he's fetching the rabbit some brandy, his curiosity gets the better of him. "I'm sorry," he asks him, "if it's a little insensitive, but, can you tell me why you died? Was it from mixing your drinks?"
"Nah" says the rabbit sadly, downing his gin, "They told me I died from mixin' ma toasties."
"You alright?" the landlord asks the rabbit.
"Not so bad, not so bad" says the rabbit, wiping his face on a newspaper.
"Hard day?" says the landlord, hoping that the rabbit has money.
"Aye" says the rabbit, "I've been working like a dog all day, digging tunnels out in the rain, nicking carrots for the missus and the kids. I'm pig sick of carrots, you know, and I've hardly eaten today. I'm famished in fact. Do you have any food?"
"Well, not much" replies the landlord, but as the rabbit's whiskers droop, he says, "We could fix you a toasted sandwich"
The rabbit's ears perk up. "That'd be perfect!" he exclaims. "What kinds have you got?"
"We can fix you cheese and onion, ham and tomato or bacon and mushroom"
"You know, I just fancy a cheese and onion one. And a pint of strong lager with a rum and peppermint chaser to wash it down mine host."
So the landlord goes and a little while later one of the bar staff brings the rabbit out a toasted cheese sandwich. The rabbit eats it in about a minute flat and downs his pint of lager and rum.
Still not feeling fully refreshed, the rabbit orders a pint of scrumpy, a creme de menthe chaser and a ham and tomato toastie, all of which he proceeds to demolish swiftly.
The rabbit belches loudly and then asks the landlord to bring him a bacon and mushroom toastie with a pint of real ale, a large vodka and a double malt whisky.
About a minute after he finishes his sandwich and his drinks, he vomits violently and drops down dead on the floor.
The next night, the landlord's washing the glasses behind the bar, and the ghost of the rabbit saunters in through the door. The landlord looks at him, surprised. "Hello! We, errr... hadn't expected to see you around here again. Hard day?"
"Not too bad, not too bad" says the rabbit's ghost. "I've been working dead hard all day, scaring farmers into giving the missus carrots. Have you got any spirits for a tired rabbit?"
While he's fetching the rabbit some brandy, his curiosity gets the better of him. "I'm sorry," he asks him, "if it's a little insensitive, but, can you tell me why you died? Was it from mixing your drinks?"
"Nah" says the rabbit sadly, downing his gin, "They told me I died from mixin' ma toasties."
An ye harm none, do what ye will....