What is the worst it ever got with your kids?

Indian Princess · Post by **Indian Princess** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:21 pm

I want to run away:mad:

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:29 pm

Indian Princess;694673 wrote: I want to run away:mad:

Both of mine have pushed me to the feeling of wanting to run away. But then they do something wonderful, like smile or say something cute - seems wonderful to me anyway, and it makes it all worthwhile.

Also, having had a parent literally 'run away' from me and my brother and sister, causes you too think twice too.

I will always be there for them, how ever much they test me :wah:

Know how you feel though - be strong, they love you and just don't realize how hard it can be being a parent .

Pheasy :-4

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:34 pm

Awww, I'm sorry you feel that way....You need me to come slap him up-side the head??

ha ha ha, as if!!

See if your son accuses me of going through menapause too!

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:45 pm

My child and I had very hard times............she could tell you worse and I could tell you good.

The worst it ever got was when my child cut herself to feel better. She almost killed herself for the cutting. I had to put her into a haha house hospital because I could not deal with it.

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:52 pm

nvalleyvee;694687 wrote: My child and I had very hard times............she could tell you worse and I could tell you good.

The worst it ever got was when my child cut herself to feel better. She almost killed herself for the cutting. I had to put her into a haha house hospital because I could not deal with it.

Not sure what you mean by 'haha' house. But I think I know what you felt, I also had to take similar route to get the help my son needed. And help he did get ... now he's my happy baby again :-4

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:53 pm

Well he's not a baby - 12years - but always my baby. :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 3:12 pm

16 going on 17 Ugh I shudder remembering (I kicked my oldest out at that age just could not take her abuse anymore) Today we are the very best of friends and believe me I got lots of FG support on that decision and have no regrets.

double helix · Post by **double helix** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 3:45 pm

Crank, herpies, check fraud and jail time. That was before she turned eighteen. By nineteen she was clean, in a trade school and working.

By twenty-one, living in Colorado and thinking of getting pregnant.

By twenty-five a mother and moving back to Alaska to be closer to me.

By twenty-seven married to a St. Trooper, mother of two, drawing down a combined income of 79,000 and very very happy.

Now for my boy.....

minks · Post by **minks** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 3:48 pm

double helix;695075 wrote: Crank, herpies, check fraud and jail time. That was before she turned eighteen. By nineteen she was clean, in a trade school and working.

By twenty-one, living in Colorado and thinking of getting pregnant.

By twenty-five a mother and moving back to Alaska to be closer to me.

By twenty-seven married to a St. Trooper, mother of two, drawing down a combined income of 79,000 and very very happy.

Now for my boy.....

WOW DH kids are amazing eh.

double helix · Post by **double helix** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 12:37 am

minks;695079 wrote: WOW DH kids are amazing eh. Yep, and to think WE were kids once!

Indian Princess · Post by **Indian Princess** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:58 pm

um, DH , could you weave your magic here? :wah:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Sep 18, 2007 9:25 pm

Just remember your kids will be the ones taking care of you when you are decrepit, or hopefully they will be. If you're not that crazy about your kids right now, you might consider that they probably aren't too crazy about you as a parent either. It goes both ways.

double helix · Post by **double helix** » Wed Sep 19, 2007 7:57 pm

The hardest thing I ever did was kick my daughter out of the house. Yet, today, this is the thing she thanks me for the most.

Love is tough. If you can't be tough enough to say, "this is my house, and in my house you WILL respect me and do as I say! If you cannot, leave with the clothes on you back and nothing else." than you will lose you child.

I cried every night for six weeks. I sobbed uncontrollably all the way to town when she went to jail, because I knew I could not bail her out. When she asked for help to go to trade school I had to restrain myself from leaping for joy.

Loving your child enough to let them find out for themselves that life is not a privilege is the hardest thing you will ever have to do.

I think death would be easier, literally.

So Indian Princess, start early with the tough act. MAKE them understand that they live in YOUR house because you let them. Tell them all about CHILD SERVICES and FOSTER CARE which is where they will go if they run away, because you will not take them back. MAKE them understand that you have expectations and if those expectations are not met they can sit in there bare, empty room and contemplate the unfariness of being born. It will save you from a lot of heartache down the road.

Good Luck!

Lady G · Post by **Lady G** » Wed Sep 26, 2007 4:53 am

Well where to start.................

I have 3 children, 5, 9 and 13. Not only do they push me to the edge they pull me over it and leave me there. I scream and shout and swear and threaten and they just look at me as if I have gone completely nuts and ask me not to shout and say things like "theres no need to swear". It makes me want to wring their scrawny necks. Then out of nowhere they will all play together harmoniously, no fighting, no hitting, no shouting, no crying, whinning, whingeing, just laughter and that is when I see that they are not as bad as I feel.

I also show them LOADS of love, and talk to them heaps, explaining my actions, the consequences of their actions and So on so forth. Hugs, kisses, stroking, praising etc.

Bringing up children is the hardest thing in the world, but we can do it and we have done it since day dot and will continue doing so till day end.

one thing to ALWAYS remember is: You was young once too. So try and remember those days when you are about to explode/implode for the 10th time in an hour.

Hehehe

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Wed Sep 26, 2007 5:16 am

Lady G;700099 wrote: Well where to start.................

I have 3 children, 5, 9 and 13. Not only do they push me to the edge they pull me over it and leave me there. I scream and shout and swear and threaten and they just look at me as if I have gone completely nuts and ask me not to shout and say things like "theres no need to swear". It makes me want to wring their scrawny necks. Then out of nowhere they will all play together harmoniously, no fighting, no hitting, no shouting, no crying, whinning, whingeing, just laughter and that is when I see that they are not as bad as I feel.

I also show them LOADS of love, and talk to them heaps, explaining my actions, the consequences of their actions and So on so forth. Hugs, kisses, stroking, praising etc.

Bringing up children is the hardest thing in the world, but we can do it and we have done it since day dot and will continue doing so till day end.

one thing to ALWAYS remember is: You was young once too. So try and remember those days when you are about to explode/implode for the 10th time in an hour.

Hehehe

Well said Lady G. I'm going to print your words and hang on my fridge - sometimes we need reminding :-6

Welcome to FG. We are all totally crazy, in a fun and loving way. :-6

Lady G · Post by **Lady G** » Wed Sep 26, 2007 7:06 am

ThePheasant;700101 wrote: Well said Lady G. I'm going to print your words and hang on my fridge - sometimes we need reminding :-6

Welcome to FG. We are all totally crazy, in a fun and loving way. :-6
Hey thx. I joined ages ago and just never really posted anything but got bored of the forums I frequent so came back..........hehehe

double helix · Post by **double helix** » Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:41 pm

My son, repeatedly assaulting his female companions, because he cannot control his obsessive compulsions. I am at the end of the rope here folks. Mental health counseling cannot occur until he commits a crime. I can't have that happen! any suggestions. :-2

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Sep 27, 2007 11:57 pm

What?? What do you mean no counseling until he commits a crime? Where do you live, DH? Are you in the States? I have never heard of that. If he's beating people, men or women, the time for help is now, not later. As I'm sure you know. Maybe he needs medication? As of right now, I don't think I could offer any suggestions other than the obvious. I don't understand.

Lady G · Post by **Lady G** » Fri Sep 28, 2007 7:26 am

double helix;701222 wrote: My son, repeatedly assaulting his female companions, because he cannot control his obsessive compulsions. I am at the end of the rope here folks. Mental health counseling cannot occur until he commits a crime. I can't have that happen! any suggestions. :-2

Good grief, what a nightmare for both of you.

So the fact that he has obsessive compulsions is not enough to receive help?

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Fri Sep 28, 2007 7:35 am

double helix;701222 wrote: My son, repeatedly assaulting his female companions, because he cannot control his obsessive compulsions. I am at the end of the rope here folks. Mental health counseling cannot occur until he commits a crime. I can't have that happen! any suggestions. :-2

Is assaulting somone not a crime?:-3 I feel for you though, its so hard when they reach the age where you dont really have total control over them anymore. ITs quite a helpless feeling.

double helix · Post by **double helix** » Sat Oct 06, 2007 12:22 am

RedGlitter;701223 wrote: What?? What do you mean no counseling until he commits a crime? Where do you live, DH? Are you in the States? I have never heard of that. If he's beating people, men or women, the time for help is now, not later. As I'm sure you know. Maybe he needs medication? As of right now, I don't think I could offer any suggestions other than the obvious. I don't understand.

I'm sorry, sometimes I don't make myself clear. I meant he cannot afford to pay for mental health counseling, his insurance won't pay for it and in order to get counseling he must be in danger of going to jail or hurting himself.

But, as an update we did find a source of counseling at the university. Students in the Mental Health field who charge twenty dollars a session.

Also, we got him on some medication and have an appointment with a doctor for a mental health diagnosis on the seventeenth.

The major hurdle has been conquered too! My son has decided he needs help and that was the first step..

So we are on our way.

Mystery · Post by **Mystery** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:49 am

double helix;705486 wrote: I'm sorry, sometimes I don't make myself clear. I meant he cannot afford to pay for mental health counseling, his insurance won't pay for it and in order to get counseling he must be in danger of going to jail or hurting himself.

But, as an update we did find a source of counseling at the university. Students in the Mental Health field who charge twenty dollars a session.

Also, we got him on some medication and have an appointment with a doctor for a mental health diagnosis on the seventeenth.

The major hurdle has been conquered too! My son has decided he needs help and that was the first step..

So we are on our way.

The kind of counseling you're referring to (at least in my state) is forced - i.e. commit them for being a danger to themselves or others. In some cases, it's helpful, but they also have to follow through with it. I find that sometimes allowing the negative consequences, such as going to jail, helps. BUT, it sounds like your son is on the right track, in that he's recognized he needs some help. i wish him the best of luck with it!

double helix · Post by **double helix** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 9:03 pm

Mystery;706427 wrote: The kind of counseling you're referring to (at least in my state) is forced - i.e. commit them for being a danger to themselves or others. In some cases, it's helpful, but they also have to follow through with it. I find that sometimes allowing the negative consequences, such as going to jail, helps. BUT, it sounds like your son is on the right track, in that he's recognized he needs some help. i wish him the best of luck with it!
Thank you for your good wishes. He struggles daily with the ups and downs. Still he is on the way to recovery. Thanks again.