heaven and earth questions

Post by **spot** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 2:50 am

It's worse than you even think, jimbo. When you get to heaven you'll not even be male any longer. Galatians 3 reliably informs you that "There is no Jew or Greek, servant or free, male or female: because you are all one".

Jesus was questioned by a bunch of Sadducees "who say that there is no coming back from the dead" and they posed him a neat puzzle. Mosaic law demands that a widow with no children be married to her brother in law, so they described seven brothers each of whom in turn marries the same woman and dies without their having a child. Then they get to the meat of the issue - "When they come back from the dead, then, whose wife will she be of the seven? because they all had her" they ask. Jesus said to them, The sons of this world are married and have wives; But those to whom is given the reward of the world to come, and to come back from the dead, have no wives, and are not married.

For some reason this answer has annoyed Christians for the last 2000 years and any number of them say Jesus got it wrong. I've no idea why they can't stomach what he told them, it's like sailors who don't like the idea that the seas will all be dried up when they return. The moral is that if you want to go sailing or stay married in the afterlife, don't choose Christianity.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:09 am

There is no god but the cosmic comedian. Life is a joke we just don't know the punchline.

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:11 am

jimbo;722141 wrote: it would appear ,that if you say something bad about god you get 10 angry pm's and 2 posts agreeing with what you said and then 100 posts sticking up for god telling you your going to hell on his behalf

it also appears also if you ask a light hearted humorous question about heaven 1 person replies in tongues so that only god can understand what he is saying and thirty people look at your thread and no one replies :wah::wah:

29.

You think waaaaayyy too much.

Off to the pub with ya.

;)

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:46 am

*shaking head at Jimbo*:wah::wah:

I agree with JD...off to the pub with you Mister!!--way too much thinking for me on this bright Monday Morning!:)

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:04 am

Yes Jimbo...all of it was hysterical! hence shaking my head...and I'm working on the passport thing...trust me, I was in 4 file-boxes looking for my documents I need and found out today that it can take 2 months to get!! YIKES....I'm a workin' on it!--meanwhile, you keep giving us "thoughts of the day"--thank you:wah:

Post by **spot** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:57 am

Jimbo, if I had any more brain than that of a fifteen month old stilton you'd find me a lot more palatable. As it is the best that can be said of me is that I go down well after a few measures of whiskey and that's not an offer aimed in your direction either so stop panicking.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 9:24 am

spot;722197 wrote: Jimbo, if I had any more brain than that of a fifteen month old stilton you'd find me a lot more palatable. As it is the best that can be said of me is that I go down well after a few measures of whiskey and that's not an offer aimed in your direction either so stop panicking.

*sunny's ears perk up*

:sneaky: :wah:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:23 pm

spot;722197 wrote: Jimbo, if I had any more brain than that of a fifteen month old stilton you'd find me a lot more palatable. As it is the best that can be said of me is that I go down well after a few measures of whiskey and that's not an offer aimed in your direction either so stop panicking.

don't like whiskey.......................

......................................what about sherry????:sneaky:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:34 pm

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.

She will praise you! She will bear your children. and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Of course the rest is history......................

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:48 pm

spot;722197 wrote: Jimbo, if I had any more brain than that of a fifteen month old stilton you'd find me a lot more palatable. As it is the best that can be said of me is that I go down well after a few measures of whiskey and that's not an offer aimed in your direction either so stop panicking.

Vintage Port surely!

Much as I love whiskey it has to be port with stilton :wah:

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 2:59 pm

There is no heaven...there is no hell...there is only this one life we have on this earth...and Forum Garden.

Post by **spot** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:04 pm

Bryn Mawr;722303 wrote: Much as I love whiskey it has to be port with stilton :wah:People here will tell you I'm too far too gouty and miserable for such excess.

watermark · Post by **watermark** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 8:47 pm

Jimbo-

Sorry to be the one to break it to you. There is no separation between heaven and earth. Live with it. :guitarist

Erin

drumbunny1 · Post by **drumbunny1** » Mon Nov 19, 2007 10:25 pm

Nomad;722299 wrote: Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.

She will praise you! She will bear your children. and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Of course the rest is history......................

:D:D:D LMAO!

Post by **spot** » Tue Nov 20, 2007 10:21 am

Here jimbo, this was just on the radio and I thought you'd like it, it has a tolerably heart-felt message. It's by Paul Craft and it was recorded at the Haines Creek First Baptist Church Summer Festival in Leesburg. Some people just feel the Lord needs a good singing to now and then.

Make me, Oh make me, Lord, more than I am

Make me a part of your master game plan

Free of the earthly tempestions below

I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe.Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life,

End over end, neither left nor to right.

Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights

Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life.Bring on the brothers who've gone on before

Bring on the sisters who've knocked on your door.

Bring on those sainted relations of mine

And put them up front in the offensive line.

A lowly benchwarmer I'm contented to be

Until the time that you have need of me

Flash on the big scoreboard that shines up on high

The big Superbowl 'way up in the sky