Moving Along Now...

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:20 am

Everyone has things in their life that they'd rather just forget about, but how do you make that happen?

A family friend, at a recent get together, impressed me with her solution. Dogs came up in conversation and, not having seen her for a long time, I said "you used to have greyhounds, didn't you?" I was curious when she glanced at me and then started talking about something else as if she hadn't heard. I ask someone else about it later and was told that, unknown to me, they'd had a disastrous time with their foray into the dog racing world. The solution seemed so clean and brilliant.

I used to try to say, "I prefer not to talk about that" or "That was a long time ago" or other style of deterrent but it always seems to give more weight to the subject instead of gliding over it. The glance, in the case of the greyhounds, told me she heard me and the subject switch told me that the conversation had ended.

Mind you, it doesn't work so well when the one who brought it up doesn't take the hint.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:24 am

I think I'll use this method on some of my posts. One in particular.:wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:24 am

Unfortunately, I am one of those that don't take the hint well, or take it personally.....

I always try to give some type of explanation, brief and to the point....I learned the hard way about sharing "too much" and then feeling stupid afterwards, so now I just say a little bit and move on.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:31 am

I would think it was kinda rude for someone not to respond...:-3

if I don't want to talk about something I'll still be nice about it like "oh, it's a long horrible story, I'll tell you some other time" and then hope they take the hint and not ask again.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:36 am

WonderWendy3;733773 wrote: Unfortunately, I am one of those that don't take the hint well, or take it personally.....

I always try to give some type of explanation, brief and to the point....I learned the hard way about sharing "too much" and then feeling stupid afterwards, so now I just say a little bit and move on.

I tend to do that too... offer too much explanation.

I'm trying, right now, to come up with a solution for a specific situation in which a family member continually brings up an event to which we both have very different perceptions of what happened and discussion is pointless. The only solution is to not talk about it at all. I've even considered giving the person a list of topics that I'm not willing to discuss so I can just say "look at your list" if the request is ignored.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:42 am

koan;733785 wrote: I tend to do that too... offer too much explanation.

I'm trying, right now, to come up with a solution for a specific situation in which a family member continually brings up an event to which we both have very different perceptions of what happened and discussion is pointless. The only solution is to not talk about it at all. I've even considered giving the person a list of topics that I'm not willing to discuss so I can just say "look at your list" if the request is ignored.

put on your best mob voice and say "for da love o' god would ya drop it already..."

your welcome!

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:45 am

My particular problem involves someone with short term memory loss. That's why I thought about writing it down. :wah: