Male Expressions explained...

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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valerie
Posts: 7125
Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2004 12:00 pm

Male Expressions explained...

Post by valerie »

1st line = what Male SAYS

2nd line = what Male MEANS



I'm hungry.

I'm hungry.



I'm sleepy.

I'm sleepy.



I'm tired.

I'm tired.



Shall we go to the movies?

Will you have sex with me?



May I take you out to dinner?

Will you have sex with me?



May I call you?

Will you have sex with me?



Shall we dance?

Will you have sex with me?



Nice dress!

May I tear it from your body, so we can have sex?



You're tense, shall I rub your shoulders?

Will you have sex with me?



I'm bored!

Will you have sex with me?



I love you!

I want to have sex with you....now!!



I love you too

Yeah yeah yeah...can we have sex, now?



Let's talk

I want to show you my deeper feelings....and maybe you will have sex with me then....



Will you marry me?

I never, ever ever want you to do this with someone else!
Tamsen's Dogster Page

http://www.dogster.com/?27525



David813
Posts: 1112
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 1:00 pm

Male Expressions explained...

Post by David813 »

flopstock wrote: Deep creatures.. :DWe are indeed!
"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group that believes you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas millionaires, or businessman from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid." [font=Arial Narrow][/font]

President Dwight D. Eisenhower Nov. 08, 1954
john8pies
Posts: 1163
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 10:53 am

Male Expressions explained...

Post by john8pies »

"I really, really love you"

(="Any chance of a sh*g ?!)
User avatar
Rapunzel
Posts: 6509
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:47 pm

Male Expressions explained...

Post by Rapunzel »

GIRL'S DIARY

SATURDAY 4th JUNE 2005.

Saw John in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I went shopping in the afternoon with the girls and I did turn up a bit late so I thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.

He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we go somewhere nice to eat. All through dinner he just didn't seem himself; he hardly laughed, and didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying. I just knew that something was wrong.

He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come

in; he hesitated, but followed. I asked him again if there was something

the matter but he just half shook his head and turned the television on. After about 10 minutes of silence, I said I was going upstairs to bed. I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh, and a sad sort of smile.

He didn't follow me up, but later he did, and I was surprised when we made love. He still seemed distant and a bit cold, and started to think that he was going to leave me, and that he had found someone else. I cried myself to sleep.

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BOY'S DIARY

SATURDAY 4th JUNE 2005.

Arsenal lost to Manchester United 2-1. Got a shag though

:wah: :wah:
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Rapunzel
Posts: 6509
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 5:47 pm

Male Expressions explained...

Post by Rapunzel »

Men are like ........ Laxatives ...... They irritate the **** out of you.

Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like ........ Vacations ...... They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like ........ Weather ...... Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like ........ Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like ........ Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like ........ Coffee ...... The best ones are rich, warm, & can keep you up all night long.

Men are like ........ Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like ........ Department Stores ...... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like ........ Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.

Men are like ........ Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like ........ Popcorn ...... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like ........ Snowstorms ...... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like ........ Parking Spots ...... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

:D
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nvalleyvee
Posts: 5191
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 8:57 am

Male Expressions explained...

Post by nvalleyvee »

Female expressions:

Oh baby cuddle me...

I want sex

Can we do something together today...

I want sex

What movie do you want to see...

I want sex

What do you want for dinner....

I want sex

Dang baby - you look nice today....

I want sex

Can I help...

i want sex

I love you...

I want sex
The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper
User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Male Expressions explained...

Post by Wolverine »

nvalleyvee wrote: Female expressions:


What??!!? where in the whole wide world are there ANY women thinking that? and why have I not met them?

All the women i have dated had a "Look, but Don't Touch" policy

Although the last on did have a "You Break it, You Buy it"


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

User avatar
Wolverine
Posts: 4947
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:09 pm

Male Expressions explained...

Post by Wolverine »

valerie wrote: 1st line = what Male SAYS

2nd line = what Male MEANS



I'm hungry.

I'm hungry.



I'm sleepy.

I'm sleepy.



I'm tired.

I'm tired.





Nice dress!

May I tear it from your body, so we can have sex?



You're tense, shall I rub your shoulders?

Will you have sex with me?



I'm bored!

Will you have sex with me?



I love you!

I want to have sex with you....now!!



I love you too

Yeah yeah yeah...can we have sex, now?





Will you marry me?

I never, ever ever want you to do this with someone else!




That pretty much sums it up for us. We are an INCREDIBLY simple species.

Everything we do is for 4 distinct things:

#1. SEX

#2. sex

#3. more sex

#4. Sleep


Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view

Mind like a steel trap - Rusty and Illegal in 37 states.

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