Another homosexual thread

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:37 am

One of my missions in life, has been to try to open peoples minds regarding homosexuality. Everytime a thread comes up, my viewpoint is leave them alone for Gods sake. I know for a fact that the lifestyle is not a choice, and there is no reason for people to stick their noses into their business. My liberal attitutude bit me in the *** recently. I helped a young man get a job where I am working. The money is great there, and hes been struggling financially. He is openly gay, and I found his honesty to be courageous, and honest. Well, in about 48 hours he managed to get every member of the staff to loathe him. He walked into the job, and immediately became flamingly opened about his sexual orientation. First it was simply with his behavior. Its like he purposely acted wildly effeminate. Then it esculated to openly making refrences to his prefrences to customers, and to members of the staff. Finally last week he became wildly out of controll. He has made lewd sexual suggestions to both male and female workers. Obviously, hes got to go. This kind of behavior could result in a sexual harassment complaint for the business. I of course feel terrible about bringing him there. And sadly, he has been the kind of person that gives his people the troubles that they often have. So hes actually done political damage. He will leave everyone from this work place with a bad taste in their mouths. Im not speaking to him. Im very angry at him. My usual way of dealing with a situation like this would be to talk to the person. But in this case, he used me to obtain a platform to perform on. The whole thing has been awful. Its not his fault, its mine. I didnt know him well enough to reccommend him for anything. It will be a cold day in hell , maybe never, before I ever reccommend anyone for anything.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:48 am

That sort of behaviour would be inappropriate in a heterosexual person too.

Hubby and I used to employ someone who would sleep with anyone who offered, it put us in an awkward position with his wife and made employing young women difficult. On one occasion he was having a fling with a colleague and talking about running away with her - we didn't find this out until years later. At another stage he pestered a different colleague until she told him in no uncertain terms to bog off (no way could he compete with her drop-dead gorgeous boyfriend!).

The only difference I can see with the behaviour of the gay man and the straight man here is one is more openly lewd!

I really feel for you Weeder as he put you in a difficult position and I can absolutely understand why you would be reluctant to recommend someone again. I hope that your workmates don't blame you for his actions, in no way are you at fault - he's just an arse who didn't deserve your kindness in the first place.

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:03 am

some people feel they have to ram (bad wording)there way of life down every ones throut

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:15 am

Through being in show biz some years ago I met many gay people and infact my best friends back then was gay drag queens.I used to sing in the first pub in London where they had drag acts and became very close to many of them.Some were bloody good mates to me and one in particular had a big influence on my life and I will always be thankful for that. He was later murdered............I also met some right knife in the back merchants but there again haven't we all in the everyday world and on the internet.......what goes on behind closed doors does not affect the innerself and I take people for what they are and not what goes on behind those doors.Of course I am not talking about anyone who hurts anybody in any way and trust me I would smell those pervs a mile off. Also I think it would surprise the public if they knew who exactly was gay in show biz.........goodness I was...........

grh · Post by **grh** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:17 am

If he made lewd suggestions that were overheard by anyone at my place that might find it offensive, he'd get a warning, then suspension and then let go. Of course, #1. you have to have someone who is willing to put themselves out there by reporting it. #2. you have to have zero tolerance across the board.

I don't see this as a gay thing so much as i do an 'idiot' thing. You helped an idiot get the job. That happens. I don't think you can beat yourself up for something you were unaware of.:-6

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:17 am

Carolly;758291 wrote: Through being in show biz some years ago I met many gay people and infact my best friends back then was gay drag queens.I used to sing in the first pub in London where they had drag acts and became very close to many of them.Some were bloody good mates to me and one in particular had a big influence on my life and I will always be thankful for that. He was later murdered............I also met some right knife in the back merchants but there again haven't we all in the everyday world and on the internet.......what goes on behind closed doors does not affect the innerself and I take people for what they are and not what goes on behind those doors.Of course I am not talking about anyone who hurts anybody in any way and trust me I would smell those pervs a mile off. Also I think it would surprise the public if they knew who exactly was gay in show biz.........goodness I was...........

Oooooh! Do tell...........................

:wah:

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:31 am

You are all absolutely right. It could have been a heterosexual that behaved this way. I also have had many gay friends over the course of the past 30 years. The thing that bothers me about this is #1. because I am gender blind, I didnt take into consideration the fact that I was putting him into a 100% heterosexual enviorment. I should have thought, is this place really appropriate for him. Secondly he could have been a positive factor in enlightening those around him regarding homosexuality. He accomplished just the opposite. He reinforced their notions, and did damage. Thirdly, I lost credibility with my employer. Sexual whatever, she will not trust my character judgements in the future. He also really upset the very young women who work there. His sexual comments were so apalling, I couldnt even write them here.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:39 am

weeder;758303 wrote: You are all absolutely right. It could have been a heterosexual that behaved this way. I also have had many gay friends over the course of the past 30 years. The thing that bothers me about this is #1. because I am gender blind, I didnt take into consideration the fact that I was putting him into a 100% heterosexual enviorment. I should have thought, is this place really appropriate for him. Secondly he could have been a positive factor in enlightening those around him regarding homosexuality. He accomplished just the opposite. He reinforced their notions, and did damage. Thirdly, I lost credibility with my employer. Sexual whatever, she will not trust my character judgements in the future. He also really upset the very young women who work there. His sexual comments were so apalling, I couldnt even write them here.

But it wasn't your decision to take the job, nor yours to behave appallingly - those were his choices. Don't feel bad, you are not his mother!! You are not responsible for his behaviour - he and he alone can take responsibilty for his actions.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:41 am

Thanks my dear.... your right. Ill get over it. t always helps to get feed back here

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:46 am

weeder;758306 wrote: Thanks my dear.... your right. Ill get over it. t always helps to get feed back here

Good to know you're listen to 'Auntie Immy' who always knows best!!!:sneaky:

:-4:-4

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:43 am

Imladris;758295 wrote: Oooooh! Do tell...........................

:wah:

Behave :wah::rolleyes:;):p

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:44 am

Are non homosexuals allowed into this thread?:D

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:52 am

well my x sister=in=law was married and had a son 15 year down the line i went to her wedding .She married this women called bo great wedding great day and 17 years later stil with each other

I say everyone to there own thats what i say

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:54 am

Neffy, I dont want this topic to go in the wrong direction, It isnt about what we think about homosexuality. Its about one homosexuals behavior in the workplace, and the damage it did to the negativetity often felt towards homosexuals. I am 100% live and let live also.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:01 am

Weeder, your such a kind and sensitive, caring person thats plain for all to see.

So im sure your boss will take that into consideration when she thinks about this bloke and how he got his job. End of the day, she must of give him some kind of interview and decided he was ok, like you did. Iv'e known people shine in the interview and wow the socks off the boss only to start the job and be totally unsuitable, it happens, **** happens.thats why we have trial periods..Please dont stop caring due to that idiot being unable to conduct himself in the correct manner.

Couple of months down the line and you will all be having a giggle about it, im sure.

Chin up missus:wah::-6

grh · Post by **grh** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:15 am

YZGI;758345 wrote: Are non homosexuals allowed into this thread?:D

If you see one tell them yeah...but in the mean time jump right in...

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:26 am

grh;758396 wrote: If you see one tell them yeah...but in the mean time jump right in...

Er um....mirror mirror on the wall who the most hetrosexual of them all...

Whew, that was a close one..

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:31 am

YZGI;758404 wrote: Er um....mirror mirror on the wall who the most hetrosexual of them all...

Whew, that was a close one..

did you say you were "close" to one....:sneaky:

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:33 am

Thank you Chezzie. My boss has said she has seen this happen before. A few years ago, she hired a gay man to be the manager. He got so out of hand with himself... she had to let him go. His behavior was a surprise to her also, and so she does understand. We talked about her doing the 30 day trial arrangement. The reason for the upsetment is that I believe so kind of sexual allegation charges came out from the manager guy. It will all be OK.

Just another life lesson. It doesnt matter how old we get, there are learning experiences at every turn.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:33 am

Chezzie;758405 wrote: did you say you were "close" to one....:sneaky:
:wah: I'll be leaving this thread now..:wah:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:35 am

jimbo;758422 wrote: your not going straight away are you

:wah:

Thats a mighty queer statement..:wah:

neffy · Post by **neffy** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 3:47 pm

weeder;758380 wrote: Neffy, I dont want this topic to go in the wrong direction, It isnt about what we think about homosexuality. Its about one homosexuals behavior in the workplace, and the damage it did to the negativetity often felt towards homosexuals. I am 100% live and let live also.

i had no intentions on that weeder just posting and just saying how i feel