Being British
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian
beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on
the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese
TV.
And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the
back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET
coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the
counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and
lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to
in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas
cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying
to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control
Scalextric cars.
and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred
whilst throwing up into the toilet. (I am amazed i havent - yet!!!)
If you're proud to be British, send this on!
Being British
Being British
"To be foolish and to recognize that one is foolish, is better than to be foolish and imagine that one is wise."
-
littlemissgiggle
- Posts: 2345
- Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 1:27 pm
Being British
:wah:
fantastic and soo right i will be sending this one on
fantastic and soo right i will be sending this one on
Being British
:wah::wah:
"To be foolish and to recognize that one is foolish, is better than to be foolish and imagine that one is wise."
-
hoxtonchris
- Posts: 576
- Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 2:41 pm
Being British
sometimes it has its good moments,some years ago during bad terroism from the ira i went to the tower of london,it was the queen mothers birthday so i expected the gun salute at 1pm,sure enough BOOM!off went the cannon,tourists around started to drop to their knees ,i sided up to what looked like a bloke from usa and wispered in his ear,keep it steady yank the worlds watching!.
Being British
hoxtonchris;758068 wrote: sometimes it has its good moments,some years ago during bad terroism from the ira i went to the tower of london,it was the queen mothers birthday so i expected the gun salute at 1pm,sure enough BOOM!off went the cannon,tourists around started to drop to their knees ,i sided up to what looked like a bloke from uas and wispered in his ear,keep it steady yank the worlds watching!.
we had it for years b4 the us
the british stiff upper lip
we had it for years b4 the us
the british stiff upper lip
"To be foolish and to recognize that one is foolish, is better than to be foolish and imagine that one is wise."
-
along-for-the-ride
- Posts: 11732
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm
Being British
You wild and crazy and wonderful Brits!
But.............alot of that kind of stuff goes on here in the States, too.
But.............alot of that kind of stuff goes on here in the States, too.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
Being British
Scottish chat up lines
1. Did you fart? Cuz ya jist blew me awa.
2. Mah love for u is like diarrhea. I canny hudd it in.
3. Is there a mirror in yur pants? Cuz i can see masel in em.
4. Your body reminds me of a spanner.... Everytime i think of it, ma nuts tighten up.
5. You might not be the best lookin girl here but beauty's only a light switch awa.
Who says we're not romantic :rolleyes:
1. Did you fart? Cuz ya jist blew me awa.
2. Mah love for u is like diarrhea. I canny hudd it in.
3. Is there a mirror in yur pants? Cuz i can see masel in em.
4. Your body reminds me of a spanner.... Everytime i think of it, ma nuts tighten up.
5. You might not be the best lookin girl here but beauty's only a light switch awa.
Who says we're not romantic :rolleyes:
-
along-for-the-ride
- Posts: 11732
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm
Being British
buttercup;758162 wrote: Scottish chat up lines
1. Did you fart? Cuz ya jist blew me awa.
2. Mah love for u is like diarrhea. I canny hudd it in.
3. Is there a mirror in yur pants? Cuz i can see masel in em.
4. Your body reminds me of a spanner.... Everytime i think of it, ma nuts tighten up.
5. You might not be the best lookin girl here but beauty's only a light switch awa.
Who says we're not romantic :rolleyes:
You wild and crazy and wonderful Scottish folks!!!:wah:
1. Did you fart? Cuz ya jist blew me awa.
2. Mah love for u is like diarrhea. I canny hudd it in.
3. Is there a mirror in yur pants? Cuz i can see masel in em.
4. Your body reminds me of a spanner.... Everytime i think of it, ma nuts tighten up.
5. You might not be the best lookin girl here but beauty's only a light switch awa.
Who says we're not romantic :rolleyes:
You wild and crazy and wonderful Scottish folks!!!:wah:
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
Being British
buttercup;758162 wrote: Scottish chat up lines
1. Did you fart? Cuz ya jist blew me awa.
2. Mah love for u is like diarrhea. I canny hudd it in.
3. Is there a mirror in yur pants? Cuz i can see masel in em.
4. Your body reminds me of a spanner.... Everytime i think of it, ma nuts tighten up.
5. You might not be the best lookin girl here but beauty's only a light switch awa.
Who says we're not romantic :rolleyes:
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
1. Did you fart? Cuz ya jist blew me awa.
2. Mah love for u is like diarrhea. I canny hudd it in.
3. Is there a mirror in yur pants? Cuz i can see masel in em.
4. Your body reminds me of a spanner.... Everytime i think of it, ma nuts tighten up.
5. You might not be the best lookin girl here but beauty's only a light switch awa.
Who says we're not romantic :rolleyes:
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
-
hoxtonchris
- Posts: 576
- Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 2:41 pm
Being British
along-for-the-ride;758158 wrote: You wild and crazy and wonderful Brits!
But.............alot of that kind of stuff goes on here in the States, too.
yep we are aware of that mate ,you call it being a cool dude ,i think.
But.............alot of that kind of stuff goes on here in the States, too.
yep we are aware of that mate ,you call it being a cool dude ,i think.
-
hoxtonchris
- Posts: 576
- Joined: Wed Jan 03, 2007 2:41 pm
Being British
?????????????? you on the right right thread fuzz??
Being British
fuzzy butt;759893 wrote: Ummm yeah . They do that here too put pins in shirts and then you have to get them all out before you iron them and if you dont' your husband thinks your trying to kill him
Don't know about american women but if I ask me wife to iron a shirt I get "Why, are you too stupid to do it yourself." maybe that's just the ones from the north of england.
Don't know about american women but if I ask me wife to iron a shirt I get "Why, are you too stupid to do it yourself." maybe that's just the ones from the north of england.
Being British
fuzzy butt;760300 wrote: i iron my husbands work shirts and pants GMC.....................I make him do it sometimes if I'm busy with other things though .
I know i'm a sap
When I was a kid my mother used to make me hang out the washing and help with the housework etc. When I made the mistake of objecting that it was not proper for a male to be seen doing that kind of thing she made the comment that if hanging out washing and doing the laundry etc make you less of a man you probably weren't much of a one to begin with. (Apart from that it wasn't a request) I've never yet come up with a counter argument.
I know i'm a sapWhen I was a kid my mother used to make me hang out the washing and help with the housework etc. When I made the mistake of objecting that it was not proper for a male to be seen doing that kind of thing she made the comment that if hanging out washing and doing the laundry etc make you less of a man you probably weren't much of a one to begin with. (Apart from that it wasn't a request) I've never yet come up with a counter argument.