So I am doomed...

Santanico · Post by **Santanico** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:29 pm

You poor thing! I've gotten a lot better at public speaking than I used to be, with practice (like anything) it gets easier. What was your speech about?

Post by **spot** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:36 pm

Been there, Skittles. I was even being paid to be there which, I promise, is far nastier.

What I did was to practice with a small enough group - which in my case, no kidding, was three others, I couldn't open my mouth if there were six people paying attention to me. Then the groups got a bit bigger at a time.

How much of what you were going to say had you written out in full? Did you have flash-cards with key-words for each paragraph? Had you practiced it with someone? All that helps. Even if you don't use it, having the whole thing on paper with you gives you a fall-back if you freeze up. Just having it might stop you from getting that bad.

Just be grateful it happened at college and not at a conference.

Santanico · Post by **Santanico** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:38 pm

Well, don't give up hope just yet. Obviously you've heard all the tricks, so I won't bother re-hashing those, all I can suggest is just keep doing it. I used to be painfully shy until I got sick of it, and I've discovered that if you fake being confident, after a while you actually become confident.

You certainly look like a confident young lady (and obviously you have great taste in avatars!!)

Santanico · Post by **Santanico** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:40 pm

There you go, another peice of advice I can give you.... listen to Spot

Practicing in front of small groups is a great idea!

Post by **spot** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:43 pm

Or you could become a nun, Skittles. Maybe you're being called to contemplation?

At least try on the costume.

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:45 pm

skittles2004;763776 wrote: I did a speech today and in two minutes i got three sentences out!!!! I froze... i stammered and freaked out! i mean it was horrible! so so horrible! It wasn't even that important of a speech! i mean i even tried picturing them naked... breathing... gripping things... looking at the tops of there heads... I STILL FREAKED OUT! it was a disaster! idk what i am going to do next time! i would rather die then do it again!

After taking speech all through high school and some in college I was asked to speak to a Kiwanis club. I confidently walked to the front looked out over the group and froze. The guy that invited me had to come escort me back to my seat. I’ll never forget how embarrassed I was. It is truly humiliating. The next time I was asked to speak I was terrified that I would do the same thing again. Since then I’ve done a lot of public speaking, even to groups in excess of 1000 and in some very difficult situations.

Don’t give up. You can do it. This will be an experience you will use to encourage someone else someday.

moonpie · Post by **moonpie** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:16 pm

Clint;763802 wrote: After taking speech all through high school and some in college I was asked to speak to a Kiwanis club. I confidently walked to the front looked out over the group and froze. The guy that invited me had to come escort me back to my seat. I’ll never forget how embarrassed I was. It is truly humiliating. The next time I was asked to speak I was terrified that I would do the same thing again. Since then I’ve done a lot of public speaking, even to groups in excess of 1000 and in some very difficult situations.

Don’t give up. You can do it. This will be an experience you will use to encourage someone else someday.

To do a speech is an art of its own. Practice, Practice, Practice, unless you just like to talk to somebody listening. I tried making a speach one time, I think it turned out well, but man, it was tough. You could always try having a drink or two before??:wah:

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:18 am

Keep practicing Skittles, on wednesday I have to read and act a a part in a scene in Shakespeares The Tempest which is going to be marked. At least I can stare at the book intently the whole time. :wah:

Post by **spot** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:26 am

Canst thou remember a time before we came unto this cell? I do not think thou canst. How is it that this lives in thy mind?

What seest thou else In the dark backward and abysm of time?

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:33 am

I have had to give a few presentations through college or work and I swear although I was so darn nervous every time, I used to imagine them all sat their naked and vunerable, had to hide a smirk at times I can tell you, mind you one time their was this huge hunk of a guy and ooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:wah::-6

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:43 am

spot;763872 wrote: Canst thou remember a time before we came unto this cell? I do not think thou canst. How is it that this lives in thy mind?

What seest thou else In the dark backward and abysm of time?

Certainly, sir, I can.

'Tis far off and rather like a dream, that an assurance

That my remebrance warrarnts. Had I not

Four or five women once, that tended me?

Post by **spot** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:52 am

Betty Boop;763878 wrote: Had I not four or five women once, that tended me?In your dreams, smartypants!

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:01 am

spot;763883 wrote: In your dreams, smartypants!

:wah: :wah:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:29 am

skittles2004;763823 wrote: Its crazy! Its not that i am shy AT ALL! believe me i'm not shy. But when it comes to talking... i'm just an idiot! and wow your story makes me feel better! lol i guess i shouldn't give up. If i gave up every challenge then i am not going to learn...
That's the spirit!

Okay here's my story. Once two friends and I sang the National Anthem at a big military formal dinner. We were a hit and got invited to other functions - graduation ceremonies, banquets, etc. We got invited to one graduation that my two partners couldn't fit into their schedules. I figured 'what the heck' and agreed to sing solo. As I passed the MC on my way to the microphone she said "Don't be nervous." It hadn't occurred to be nervous UNTIL SHE SAID THAT! :-5 I choked, but you can't just stop in the middle of the National Anthem, so I soldiered on, trying to force air through my closed throat. It was a humiliating end to my short singing career.

I speak for a living, and Clint is right -- it gets easier. Practice! Bring as few notes with you as you can, not as many. You're not there to give a speech; you're Skittles, there to talk about your subject/assignment. You can do this.

Post by **spot** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:42 am

Accountable;763905 wrote: you're Skittles, there to talk about your subject/assignment. You can do this.

... and there's a secret reality-show camera team broadcasting your entire speech live to the nation and you weren't told about it so you'd stay calm.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:44 am

:wah:

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 4:54 am

I'm with you. My first public speech, went like this, voice went wobbly, knees gave way, dropped cards ..... disaster :wah:

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:22 am

Isnt life something? We all have our areas that we are good in, and others that paralyse us. I was born to do public speaking. I love it. I guess because it is in the realm of performing, But hand me two numbers on a page to add, or mutiply, and I feel physically ill. Gripped with fear.

Its stage fright Skittles. You will only conquer it by facing it over and over again. The fear gives you those butterflies in your stomach, and the butterflies numb your arms and legs. If you CAN overcome it, the ability to speak to a group will give you power in your life. Try comparing the experience to being put in front of a firing squad..... You will realize how much easier the speech is than that... and it will be a snap. Youll actually be grateful that you are simply speaking... as opposed to being executed, and it will seem like a breeze. Im serious.

Santanico · Post by **Santanico** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:48 am

spot;763922 wrote: ... and there's a secret reality-show camera team broadcasting your entire speech live to the nation and you weren't told about it so you'd stay calm.

You're an evil, evil man! :p:wah:

Like everyone has said, just keep doing it, it will get easier

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:06 am

aw!! :yh_hugs

don't worry about it, everyone can relate to being nervous.

in high school senior year we had to all get up and discuss a part of a book we were reading in english and I freaked out

and barely managed to get through it but when I was taking college classes recently we had to do a presentation and I was totally fine, not thrilled about it :wah: but I had no problem getting thru it.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:08 am

Accountable;763905 wrote: That's the spirit!

Okay here's my story. Once two friends and I sang the National Anthem at a big military formal dinner. We were a hit and got invited to other functions - graduation ceremonies, banquets, etc. We got invited to one graduation that my two partners couldn't fit into their schedules. I figured 'what the heck' and agreed to sing solo. As I passed the MC on my way to the microphone she said "Don't be nervous." It hadn't occurred to be nervous UNTIL SHE SAID THAT! :-5 I choked, but you can't just stop in the middle of the National Anthem, so I soldiered on, trying to force air through my closed throat. It was a humiliating end to my short singing career.

I speak for a living, and Clint is right -- it gets easier. Practice! Bring as few notes with you as you can, not as many. You're not there to give a speech; you're Skittles, there to talk about your subject/assignment. You can do this.

dang it! you mean we missed the opportunity to hear you sing the national anthem in JB's backyard!!

:wah:

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:37 pm

Ah Skittles!!! I think some people can do this more easily than others. Some are more up front arteests, some more backroom. I'm better in the wings writing speeches for others to deliver. My mother loved public speaking. Did it with Rostrum or Toastmistresses or something and thrived on it. I loathed it always, and still do, and yet I've had to do it on many occasions. I think the very worst was when I had to give a presentation to a large group of medical researchers about bringing their varied websites within the new university guidelines. Many of them were quite hostile, at least at first. And this presentation was also my very public job interview. I died lots of times. Only kept afloat by remembering some excellent advice my mother gave me.

When women speak in public, she said, they tend to get softer, faster and shriller, the more nervous they get. She said - if you feel you're starting to lose it, concentrate on your breathing, speak up but lower your voice and speak slowly. Smile towards your audience, without necessarily meeting any actual eyes, you still make contact. And having your head up means you won't be "muttering into your beard" as my mum put it.

I'd add - Prepare well, so you're speaking about what you know. You are then the expert, you are in charge. And what Spot said about practice! :sneaky:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:40 pm

skittles2004;764351 wrote: and this is why i will never leave the garden! ya'll are so encouraging and nice! So i think i am over my disaster yesterday... i just never thought i would be that person! ugh so mad... but over it! lol
When you turn 18, look up your local Toastmasters group.

www.toastmasters.org

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 2:03 pm

Practice makes perfect, it was the first time. It will be better the next, and I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you recall.

:)

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:46 pm

At least you didnt soil yourself.

You didnt did you ?