Forgiveness....

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:27 am

Do you forgive easily? Or do you just hold that grudge with both hands and refuse to let go? Do you see the other persons point of view, and just dismiss it, because you are right and that is the end of the story?

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:35 am

i hold grudes but i do try to see others points of veiw even when there all wrong:wah::wah::wah::wah::wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:36 am

el guapo;770749 wrote: i hold grudes but i do try to see others points of veiw even when there all wrong

Okay, thank you for making me laugh out loud there Taco!!:wah::wah::wah:

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:37 am

WonderWendy3;770751 wrote: Okay, thank you for making me laugh out loud there Taco!!:wah::wah::wah:

what was so funny huh

SlipStream · Post by **SlipStream** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:37 am

I let go once I've made my point

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:38 am

Is there a time though, that you just give in...save face?

You don't want to fight and argue anymore?

Or are you always right and that is the end of the story?

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:40 am

ask jim im always right even whan im wrong

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:40 am

I think that I am very open minded and often see the other’s point of view and will change my view if the other person is right, or has a better approach, I forgive easily and move on, and am not afraid to say when I am wrong.

However, I also have a very cold streak, once a line is crossed or I decide that it is over, I am able to completely emotionally detach.

Back in my dating days once a relationship was over, that was it¦ not for one second would I look back.

It is not so much about not forgiving, I could do that, it is more about a mental decision to cut someone off. It can be kind of scary.

As you may know, I am a manager, and one of my staff crossed that line before Christmas. I still talk business to the person as I am their manager and I do my job, but I could no longer give a rat’s ass about this person, her future, her career, her personal life anything.

The funny thing is I think she can sense it as is as nice as pie to me now, but way too late.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:40 am

cor..are you using our answers for your school work wendy:sneaky::sneaky:

just kidding.......

I can be a sulker, im a heavy thinker, sometimes read more into stuff and get in a tizz. I have no enemies that I know of. I feel lifes too short to bear a grudge. As long as you apologise and show you mean what you say, I 'll forgive.

When me and hubby first bought our house back in 1992, it was hard at first, living with someone and if he shouted at me or disagreed with me, id cry then flounce off in a huff, then the silent treatment to follow, however my hubby dont work in such childish ways and would never let our disagrements go any further, once you said your piece, end of and back to normal.:-4

My mother and father used to go weeks sometimes passing notes and saying "tell yer father" etc... so thats obviously were I picked it up from.:-4

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:48 am

WonderWendy3;770742 wrote: Do you forgive easily? Or do you just hold that grudge with both hands and refuse to let go? Do you see the other persons point of view, and just dismiss it, because you are right and that is the end of the story?

I forgive people very easily. I realise that we are all only human, and make mistakes.

It would take something pretty major for me not to forgive. Like if someone deliberately hurt 'one of mine', I would never forgive or forget.

True friends will accept that they won't always agree. True friends will accept that you may make mistakes. A true friend will except you 'warts n all'. :-4

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:55 am

Dear Lord, Please help me to forgive my son for the screen saver I have just seen on his laptop.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:56 am

Once someone dumps on me, betrays me or threatens me, I NEVER forgive them. I have quite a collection of grudges to take to my grave.

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:57 am

ThePheasant;770770 wrote: Dear Lord, Please help to forgive my son for the screen saver I have just seen on his laptop.

what was it pheas

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:59 am

el guapo;770773 wrote: what was it pheas

Its not exactly a screen saver - its more something... that keeps popping up (popping out, wriggling around) in the corner.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:00 am

ThePheasant;770765 wrote: I forgive people very easily. I realise that we are all only human, and make mistakes.

It would take something pretty major for me not to forgive. Like if someone deliberately hurt 'one of mine', I would never forgive or forget.

True friends will accept that they won't always agree. True friends will accept that you may make mistakes. A true friend will except you 'warts n all'. :-4

Have I told you how much I love your warts lately??:-4:wah:

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:01 am

WonderWendy3;770776 wrote: Have I told you how much I love your warts lately??:-4:wah:

I do have cute warts :wah:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:52 am

I don't hold grudges, it takes to much energy. I will however lose all respect for someone if they break my trust more than once. Then I am just completely indifferent to them.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:55 am

I don't hold grudges, you either fit in my life or you don't. :-6

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:56 am

YZGI;770820 wrote: I don't hold gridges, it takes to much energy. I will however lose all respect for someone if they break my trust more than once. Then I am just completely indifferent to them.

dang YZGI, what kind of southern accent is that?!?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:57 am

sunny104;770825 wrote: dang YZGI, what kind of southern accent is that?!?

:wah::wah:

I had to look and see if you changed it..:wah:

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:07 am

It all depends on what someone did to you. I have had a couple of people who realy hurt me in my life,and one of them was physically,I just walked away from that person. The other was a two timing scumbag, when I found out I was part of his harem I was hurt and furious. I walked again but on that occasion I did get revenge, in a slow and subtle way.Glad to say he ended up alone,and would have had to travel far to rebuild a new harem.As they say revenge is a dish best served cold.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:11 am

YZGI;770827 wrote: :wah::wah:

I had to look and see if you changed it..:wah:

um, no you provide me with enough material on your own.........:p :wah:

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:23 pm

WonderWendy3;770742 wrote: Do you forgive easily? Or do you just hold that grudge with both hands and refuse to let go? Do you see the other persons point of view, and just dismiss it, because you are right and that is the end of the story?

I cannot hold a grudge - once I've slept it off then it's gone.

That does not mean I'll forget or that I'll not react differently afterwards but I don't see the point in a grudge.

grh · Post by **grh** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:32 pm

Uncle Kram;770771 wrote: Once someone dumps on me, betrays me or threatens me, I NEVER forgive them. I have quite a collection of grudges to take to my grave. :Dmarry me!:-4

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:34 pm

I know this will sound strange...but I like to forgive people...it releases that anger from me.

At this point in time of my life there is only one person that I've found VERY difficult to forgive...and I'm still working on, it is difficult because the hurt lies within my children, and they are my heart!:-4

grh · Post by **grh** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:41 pm

I never forgive. You have to go a hell of a long way to really and truly upset me. If you manage to, I'm not giving you to opportunity to do it again. You'd pretty much just cease to exist.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:44 pm

Depends.....A very good friend let me down really badly recently and no I will NEVER forgive her but normally I move on but dont forget.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:59 pm

You have your "buckets" and your "dippers". The dippers are always dipping out of the buckets thinking they are just taking what is owed from them. If you dip to often out of my bucket I might break your friggin dipper but I won't hold a grudge just because you have a short handle now..

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:02 pm

YZGI;771099 wrote: You have your "buckets" and your "dippers". The dippers are always dipping out of the buckets thinking they are just taking what is owed from them. If you dip to often out of my bucket I might break your friggin dipper but I won't hold a grudge just because you have a short handle now..

you lost me with your big dipper!:wah::wah:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 5:37 pm

Sometimes I enjoy being a victim. Enjoy as in indulging myself in self pity and swimming in Lake Nomad. So I tend to not let go easily. Another one of my shortcomings.

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 5:37 pm

Forgiving is the easy part...

It's the forgetting that I have a problem with

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:08 pm

Like PinkChick said, forgiving is easy, it's forgetting that's the hard part.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:11 pm

Sheryl;771241 wrote: Like PinkChick said, forgiving is easy, it's forgetting that's the hard part.

Forgetting what ?

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:12 pm

When someone has seriously hurt you, you never forget what they did as much as you would like to.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:32 pm

Sheryl;771245 wrote: When someone has seriously hurt you, you never forget what they did as much as you would like to.

Im sorry....what were we talking about ?

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:33 pm

Nomad;771249 wrote: Im sorry....what were we talking about ?

You are hoping she will forgive you?

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:36 pm

yea i still haven't gotten over his knowing the punchline to all my jokes.

:wah:

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:20 pm

WonderWendy3;770742 wrote: Do you forgive easily? Or do you just hold that grudge with both hands and refuse to let go? Do you see the other persons point of view, and just dismiss it, because you are right and that is the end of the story?

I forgive some & others don't have a hope in hell.

I can see others points of view & like to take them on board.

Sometimes it's the way things are put across that gets me angry & then the blinkers come out & I will not change my mind for any reason.:-6

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:55 am

I'll usually forgive and try to forget, as others have said it's the forgetting that's the really hard part.

As I've got older I've got mellower, life's too short to hold grudges. I just prefer to limit my involvement with people who have little to offer.

However, hurt my family then I have a memory like an elephant. (and the bum to match:D)

Defiance · Post by **Defiance** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:06 pm

So many admirably rational posts - If crossed I go from lovely bloke to hard hearted b*****d. I guess everyone has their breaking point and certain things instil feelings of revenge over others. 2 yrs ago my ex-wife was unfaithful which led to the breakdown of our marriage. I still think about how badly I could f**k them up...

grh · Post by **grh** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:45 pm

Defiance;774117 wrote: So many admirably rational posts - If crossed I go from lovely bloke to hard hearted b*****d. I guess everyone has their breaking point and certain things instil feelings of revenge over others. 2 yrs ago my ex-wife was unfaithful which led to the breakdown of our marriage. I still think about how badly I could f**k them up...

1. If the wife was unfaithful the marriage was already broke-down.

2. Best revenge is to go out and be happier then she is.

grh · Post by **grh** » Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:46 pm

fuzzy butt;774134 wrote: me? I want my pound of flesh!!!!:wah:

I have about 50 spare pounds you're more then welcome to...:rolleyes:

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 4:11 pm

A grudge is too heavy to hold after a period of time. The weight wears you down....body and soul.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 4:27 pm

along-for-the-ride;776026 wrote: A grudge is too heavy to hold after a period of time. The weight wears you down....body and soul.

Hi Along,

I love your thoughts because they are so true. But, I often wonder how you let things go....I tend to let things fester.

Two members of my close family and I had a big riff over something stupid, but it wasn't really about this stupid thing. It was about festering things that happened long ago and weren't resolved.

I promised myself that I am really going to try to discuss things that bother me and work them out face to face...I'm not good at that. As a child, I was always told to not cause ripples...just chill. And, now here I chill with ulcers.

My family members and I resolved our issues and just decided to let it go. Things are back to normal thank goodness.