Just wondering

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:17 am

I remember Weeder sitting in the back of my car and telling me quite determinedly that 'Love shouldn't hurt', her statement has always stuck with me but the truth of it is, is love often does hurt doesn't it?

After all, where does the saying 'We always hurt the ones we love' come from?

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:22 am

"We always hurt the ones we love, the ones we shouldn't hurt at all.

We always pluck the sweetest rose, and crush it till the petals fall."

"Nous toujours blessons l'une que nous aimons, l'une nous ne devons pas blesser du tout.

Nous toujours arrachons la rose la plus douce, et l'a écrasé jusqu'Ã ce que les pétales tombent."

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:24 am

I've never hurt the ones I love. Do I get a medal or something? :-3

grh · Post by **grh** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:28 am

Probably the same idiot who gave us the 'Love means never having to say you're sorry' piece of crap!:wah:

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:43 am

IT SHOULDNT HURT. Thats not love. It is a mutation of something pure, good and selfliss. I am so happy that you remembered something I said.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:48 am

weeder;771535 wrote: IT SHOULDNT HURT. Thats not love. It is a mutation of something pure, good and selfliss. I am so happy that you remembered something I said.

:wah: I remember lots of things you said Weeder.

Pure love Weeder? Anyone? Does it exist? Are we searching for something that is unattainable?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:49 am

rjwould;771530 wrote: "Hurt so good"...John Melloncamp..

Yeah, that strikes a chord, 'bittersweet'

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:50 am

grh;771525 wrote: Probably the same idiot who gave us the 'Love means never having to say you're sorry' piece of crap!:wah:

Must remember that one!

theia · Post by **theia** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:02 pm

Betty Boop;771537 wrote: :wah: I remember lots of things you said Weeder.

Pure love Weeder? Anyone? Does it exist? Are we searching for something that is unattainable?

This is a well worn tale, which I've seen in various forms and from various sources over the years. I think it may fit here...

the gods were in playful mood, trying to think where they could hide the purest of love, so that humans wouldn't find it. One god suggested it could be hidden on the peak of the highest mountain in the world. "What a silly suggestion," said another, "Humans are adventurous creatures, they'll soon find it. Perhaps we could try putting it at the very bottom of the deepest ocean." "Hopeless," said one of the other gods, "Give them a few hundred years and they'll discover it." Then the most mischievous of the deities said, "I know, let's put it inside the human heart. They'll all be too concerned with looking outside themselves for love. No-one will ever expect to find it within."

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:09 pm

theia;771575 wrote: This is a well worn tale, which I've seen in various forms and from various sources over the years. I think it may fit here...

the gods were in playful mood, trying to think where they could hide the purest of love, so that humans wouldn't find it. One god suggested it could be hidden on the peak of the highest mountain in the world. "What a silly suggestion," said another, "Humans are adventurous creatures, they'll soon find it. Perhaps we could try putting it at the very bottom of the deepest ocean." "Hopeless," said one of the other gods, "Give them a few hundred years and they'll discover it." Then the most mischievous of the deities said, "I know, let's put it inside the human heart. They'll all be too concerned with looking outside themselves for love. No-one will ever expect to find it within."

You know, I know, you're right. :rolleyes:

theia · Post by **theia** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:13 pm

Betty Boop;771584 wrote: You know, I know, you're right. :rolleyes:

But do I apply this in my own life?

Nope :-5

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:15 pm

theia;771587 wrote: But do I apply this in my own life?

Nope :-5

Change your life patterns?? You should have come to London with me, that was about changing patterns!! :wah:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:44 pm

grh;771525 wrote: Probably the same idiot who gave us the 'Love means never having to say you're sorry' piece of crap!:wah:

This was shortened from the original..

"Love means never having to say you're sorry that you farted":wah:

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:17 pm

YZGI;771602 wrote: This was shortened from the original..

"Love means never having to say you're sorry that you farted":wah:

You could be on to something there

:wah::-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:52 pm

*sigh* :wah:

boopy boopy boopy

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:01 pm

Okay, fellow moms. We gave birth and, yes, it hurt..........but look what we got.......a little bundle of love.:wah:

But, seriuosly, when someone we love dies, that hurts too. When you see someone you love in pain, you hurt for them.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:02 pm

Nomad;771698 wrote: *sigh* :wah:

boopy boopy boopy

*sigh* oh Nomes :p:wah:

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 3:07 pm

fuzzy butt;771676 wrote: Are you talking about being in love ? Or loving someone ?

Hmmm well loving someone doesn't actually hurt does it?

aagghh you're making me think tooooo deep Fuzzy!! :wah:

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 8:59 pm

Our concepts of love change with each year we live... If we live life fully. Taking risks, experiencing different kinds of relationships, I understand a lot more about love at this age, then I did at 17 or 27, or 37,.. I think in order to see it clearly, you have to get to the place where list ( Youve heard of list havent you? ) I mean lust is not so much part of the equation. And, it isnt just a man woman thing. Which is immediately what we think of when love is mentioned. I just saw an interesting movie yesterday, which portrayed an out of the ordinary slant on love. It was called DeLovely, and it was the story of Cole Porter. His music and his love affair with his wife.

She married him, knowing full well that he was gay. He was madly in love with her in every way. But he had to pursue relationships with men. She was in love with everything about him. And she was in love with his music. He pursued his physical relationships with men like a gentlemen. Never causing her any embarassment, or public ridicule. When she died, he lost his interest in men, because he loved her so, and he was so lost without her. I found it to be an incredible story portraying unconditional love, and respect. And I was amazed to realize... that at this age, if I could have with someone everything that she had with him, I could accept the same. To me, it wasnt cheating anymore... as I would have thought when I was young. It was more being wise enough to know you accept someone without wanting to change them. Which is the reason that so many love affairs fail. A few years ago, my best friend was on vacation in Maine. I was in Georgia. I had gotten my diagnosis of Melanoma, and I was incredibly frightened and distraught. My friend tried to get on a plane to be with me for the surgery. That was love. I told her not to come. That was love also. And I could go on and on. Its giving wanting nothing in return. That is what it is for me. Its different things, to different people, at different times in their lives. It should move you, but it shouldnt hurt you in a bad way.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:05 am

Thank you Weeder, yes unconditional love certainly doesn't hurt.

I think society puts pressure on us not to love unconditionally which is quite sad really.