Do I or Dont I

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 3:49 am

A few weeks back we were going on holidays and I have 2 foster babies, 1 Latesha aged 10months is at the moment at the beginning of her transistion back to Grandmother so she couldnt come with us and had to go into respite care for the two weeks. I have never put any of my foster children into respite care they always come with us as part of the family. Anyhow my very best friend, who is a foster carer said she would take Latesha for the two weeks. I was so relieved because Latesha knows her and is familiar with her home. We made all the arrangements and the Tueday night before we were to go (we were leaving on the Saturday) we spoke some more.

Well on the Wednesday she rang and said she couldnt take Latesha because she has accepted another baby and had forgotton she was having Latesha.

What a load of bullcrap.

To cut a long story short I had a big fallout with her as I felt let down and betrayed and havent spoken to her since.

The problem is we have a meeting tomorrow and she will be there. What do I do....say hello and walk on or ignore her? The meeting will be in a Medium sized Hall

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 4:00 am

Kay you have to do what you feel comfortable with.This so called friend let you down big time and I know how upset you were at the time over it. To be let down by a friend does hurt and where it involves a child is even worse as I know how you love your foster children so.People will give different answers....some may say forgive....some may say ignore or some may say just be polite ..nod and then just ignore but only you know how your heart feels and what you.....Kay......want to do.I can only offer you this advice as at the end of the day no matter what I have been advised on things in the past I have normally ended up doing what my inner self has told me to.As I have said only you know my dear friend how you feel and what you Kay WANT to do.Whatever you decide Im sure will be the right choice.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 4:41 am

I suppose your right Carol. Hopefully when I get there I will know which way to go.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 4:54 am

kayleneaussie;771997 wrote: I suppose your right Carol. Hopefully when I get there I will know which way to go.

Dead right mate.And knowing you the way I do I know whatever you do will be the right way for YOU and thats all that matter;)

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:21 am

I think you know in your heart you cant think of her as a good friend anymore, but maybe you can still be civil. You seem like you have already let her go, so dont let her bother you now. Hope it goes ok:D

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 6:41 am

Kaz is right, the friendship is over but for the sake of everyone at the meeting I think you need to be civil to her. She deserves no more.

BTW I really admire anyone who fosters:-4

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:32 am

I think you will feel better if you at least acknowledge her at the meeting Kay.

She let you down big time and as a very good friend could of at least been truthful to you about it.

Im sure once the hurt has lessened you may get back to being friends, especially if you move in the same sorta circles but I thing you will not be able to class her as a good friend no more..

Follow you heart Kay, you have a good one, it wont let you down.:-6:-6:-4

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:18 pm

Thanks eveyone for your comments. I have slept on it and woken the morning feeling sick to the stomach with nerves and even am thinking of not going to the meeting at all. I know that is the cowards way out but I will see how I feel in a few hours. Thanks again:-4

hoxtonchris · Post by **hoxtonchris** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:20 pm

kayleneaussie;772258 wrote: Thanks eveyone for your comments. I have slept on it and woken the morning feeling sick to the stomach with nerves and even am thinking of not going to the meeting at all. I know that is the cowards way out but I will see how I feel in a few hours. Thanks again:-4carol sends her love kay and says shes thinking of you and shes knows whatever you do will be the right thing for you and thats what counts.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:22 pm

hoxtonchris;772260 wrote: carol sends her love kay and says shes thinking of you and shes knows whatever you do will be the right thing for you and thats what counts.

Thanks Chris and send my love to Carol:-4

Post by **spot** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:34 pm

I didn't post when I saw the thread first time kay. What I think, though, is that you can mend it perfectly but only if you have it out with her. Leaving it untackled will leave it as a problem and if it's not tackled soon it'll be far harder to bring it back into focus properly.

The cost is nerving yourself for it. The cost of not doing it is that you stand less chance of getting back to where you were with her if you don't. I think it has to be worth trying.

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:47 pm

Firstly Kay, she will probably be even more worried than you, after all it was her let you down. If she isnt worried at all then you shouldnt even think twice about her. Get yer courage up mate and go for it, just be civil, and if you feel like saying something about what went on you will. good luck:-4:D

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:50 pm

spot;772266 wrote: I didn't post when I saw the thread first time kay. What I think, though, is that you can mend it perfectly but only if you have it out with her. Leaving it untackled will leave it as a problem and if it's not tackled soon it'll be far harder to bring it back into focus properly.

The cost is nerving yourself for it. The cost of not doing it is that you stand less chance of getting back to where you were with her if you don't. I think it has to be worth trying.

Thanks spot:)

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:43 pm

kayleneaussie;772258 wrote: Thanks eveyone for your comments. I have slept on it and woken the morning feeling sick to the stomach with nerves and even am thinking of not going to the meeting at all. I know that is the cowards way out but I will see how I feel in a few hours. Thanks again:-4

You will know how you feel as soon as you see her.

Go with your gut feeling,you will know how to deal with it.

Hope it all goes well for you.:-6

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:47 pm

mrsK;772306 wrote: You will know how you feel as soon as you see her.

Go with your gut feeling,you will know how to deal with it.

Hope it all goes well for you.:-6

Thanks MrsK1:-4

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:50 pm

kayleneaussie;772258 wrote: Thanks eveyone for your comments. I have slept on it and woken the morning feeling sick to the stomach with nerves and even am thinking of not going to the meeting at all. I know that is the cowards way out but I will see how I feel in a few hours. Thanks again:-4

For what it's worth here's my take.

Firstly, it was her wrong so make her make the first move and take your cue from that.

As to not going, that will only store up trouble for the future and make it harder for you to go next time. You need to deal with it now.

Go for it and remember, your strength is as the strength of tem 'vos your heart is pure :-6

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:53 pm

Bryn Mawr;772335 wrote: For what it's worth here's my take.

Firstly, it was her wrong so make her make the first move and take your cue from that.

As to not going, that will only store up trouble for the future and make it harder for you to go next time. You need to deal with it now.

Go for it and remember, your strength is as the strength of tem 'vos your heart is pure :-6

you are like me i think

i like to deal with things and get them sorted ,, then its off your mind innit:D

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:55 pm

I am going to go I decided, mainly because the speaker is from the Legal Department in our Foster Care System and there have been many changes in the system this year. As to my so called friend I will just have to decide what to do when I get there. Will let you know the outcome when I return and thanks so much for your replies:)

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:56 pm

Could you just throw something at her then flip your hair and walk away ?

I dont know what you would throw though.

Maybe an ashtray ?

kazalala · Post by **kazalala** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 3:25 pm

Nomad;772344 wrote: Could you just throw something at her then flip your hair and walk away ?

I dont know what you would throw though.

Maybe an ashtray ?

:wah::wah:im just imagining that, funny:D

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 3:39 pm

You could slip ben wa balls in her purse and when she pulls them out wondering what it is everyone around her will gasp.

That bitch !

Im reporting myself for that.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 3:40 pm

Nomad;772344 wrote: Could you just throw something at her then flip your hair and walk away ?

I dont know what you would throw though.

Maybe an ashtray ?

Ash tray sounds good to me:yh_rotfl

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 4:11 pm

Get on an elevator with her then before exiting push all the buttons.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 6:31 pm

Well been to the meeting...she ignored me I ignored her. There where lots of people there and I was going to talk to her to air things out but didnt get the chance, but anyhow I am home now and very relieved to be here.

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:52 pm

kayleneaussie;772455 wrote: Well been to the meeting...she ignored me I ignored her. There where lots of people there and I was going to talk to her to air things out but didnt get the chance, but anyhow I am home now and very relieved to be here.

Well I guess you now know what is going to happen.

At least you have seen each other & have that over & done with.:-6

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:04 am

Nomad;772398 wrote: Get on an elevator with her then before exiting push all the buttons.

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:09 am

mrsK;772511 wrote: Well I guess you now know what is going to happen.

At least you have seen each other & have that over & done with.:-6

I would of liked it if we had sorted things out but she didnt look like she wanted to and it really wasnt the place to so. Maybe I will send her an email

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:45 am

kayleneaussie;772521 wrote: I would of liked it if we had sorted things out but she didnt look like she wanted to and it really wasnt the place to so. Maybe I will send her an email

If you want to get it sorted maybe an email is a good thing to break the ice.:-6

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:09 am

kayleneaussie;772455 wrote: Well been to the meeting...she ignored me I ignored her. There where lots of people there and I was going to talk to her to air things out but didnt get the chance, but anyhow I am home now and very relieved to be here.:)Kay you have done nothing wrong and you remember that.This woman let you done big time and dont you forget it .You told me about it at the time and you was very very upset for the baby.Now Im not saying never talk to her again but I do feel it was upto her to just come over and give you a hug and say those magic words...............Im so sorry for hurting you.