Touchy Feely Men!

mountainwind · Post by **mountainwind** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 3:46 am

What is it with some men?

Why do some men have to grab, grapple, kiss and hug every woman acquaintance whatever the occassion? Why this slimy and unnecessary intimacy passed off as a 'friendly greeting'.

I work with/drink with/know your dad/brother/uncle etc. seems to be sufficient reason for these knuckleheads to put an arm around your shoulder or waist, excuse touching (arm, back etc) while deliberately standing in your personal space as if they are paying particular attention to what you are saying. Other times its the full contact body hug wrap round arms smoochy kiss tactic.

My wife gets a lot of these personal boundary intrusions and it makes my hackles stand up. I'm not a jealous man and have no objection to any man talking to her or if he's a relative or very close family friend showing some affection with a discrete kiss on the cheek.

The OTT stuff looks like a sexual/dominance type of behaviour beside being rude and downright disrespectful of her and our relationship.

Should my wife extinguish this behaviour?

What could I say to warn these men too back off without causing too much offence? (Should I care? most knuckleheads don't answer to body language or subtle hints).

Seeking an 'entente cordial' solution before I pan somebody! Thnx

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:59 am

I really think it's up to the female to either accept or reject such behavior. It doesn't have to be verbal either. Simple body language can do the job and the touchy feely guy will get the message.

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 7:04 am

Agreed, nobody has to take this stuff - and I certinaly hope men don`t start kissing men like in franceland!

Post by **spot** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 8:06 am

mountainwind wrote: Why do some men have to grab, grapple, kiss and hug every woman acquaintance whatever the occassion? Why this slimy and unnecessary intimacy passed off as a 'friendly greeting'. Good Lord. In all my many years, I have never seen any man do anything like that, and I hope I never will. A cad that would commit such an outrage would be blackballed from every club in town, the moment word of his action spread. Between man and woman, a handshake is quite reasonable, so long as no hint of a grip is involved. If offered, a cheek may be brushed with the lip, taking care not to dampen the foundation. Any contact past that point requires both consent and privacy.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 8:41 am

Oiy if it buggs you tell your wife, maybe it buggs her too. Then tell her to deal with it. I think if any woman feels a man has stepped into her personal space she should tell him, "do you mind not hugging me it makes me uncomfortable" "I'm sorry your making me uncomfortable being this close" If she can't say anything perhaps quickly stepping behind a table or desk to put a barrier between him and her. Or the last resort a good old fashioned slap ahahahahahaha

pina · Post by **pina** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 9:02 am

I was brought up with kisses and cuddles from men when meeting or saying goodnight, even the ones we didn,t know we got a kiss on the cheek when introduced. It was mostly the older men. they didn,t see any harm in it they thought they were being friendly.

If they had a few drinks then sometimes it was over friendly, I remember an old man after giving him a lift home from the pub tried to put his tongue down my throat when saying thank you for the lift and giving me a kiss goodnight. I instinctively grabbed his b........ and squeezed tight. he asked me why I had done that........I replied!......I wanted him to know what it felt like when someone did something he didn't like.

Needless to say he never done it again to anyone.

Sometimes these people just need telling that you dont like it and they will stop. unless they are complete morons then tougher action is needed.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:44 pm

I learned at an early age to take several steps back when men invade my space. I do not like strangers touching me. When I was doing chemo I allowed a male customer give me a hand off the fllor because I did not have the strength to get up myself - he seemed nice but then started stroking my arm - I took several steps back and thanked him for the help. Yes Flop - sticking the arm out for a handshake usually snaps these guys out of it. My brother once told me some men do it to cop a feel - not matter how slight it might be. If wind's wife is shy she may have a difficult time establishing her personal space boundaries.

Nuthrday · Post by **Nuthrday** » Wed Jun 22, 2005 5:51 pm

Hey, how about this answer? Not to sound crass, but once in awhile, I might go for a forward guy!!! Ha..that's one opinion for the other side, at this moment!