Perfect family mistake

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:13 am

tis part of the healing process. It will get easier. The memories will fade slowly.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 11:40 am

It's always difficult re-visiting a place where it evokes painful memories,

it will take some time before certain things, people and places stop hurting.

Only when you have healed will things be easier for you.

I wish you well my friend x

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 4:46 pm

Everytime I venture down to the X in laws for a funeral or to pick up the kids after a summer visit..I feel: Homesick....sad....mad....angry....sick about the past and how it could of been different...happy that I have moved on....depressed...satisfied....and empty.....How can one person feel all of this...It comes with time...The first of course was the anger, homesick..blah blah - and that lasted for about 2 years. - but then came the realization - that this is a new life..(no pun anewlife);) - and that things change. What may seem like the perfect life - in the past...is now the truth that it wasn't...You will see eventually that things get better - the pain will linger- but will fade with time. Some people take a lot of time - others take a month...but all that says about you is: You have a heart - a soul - and you loved your "family life" with all your heart. It just tells us - you are compationate about your life and that you have a heart - a BIG one..

Good Luck :-6 - by the way - how'd the date go?

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 3:43 am

We long for what is familiar to us, even if it was not right for us. Its always easier to go backwards, like putting on old comfortable shoes. It takes a brave person to make changes and go forward, ready to face the new opportunitys life has in store for them.Its definately a painful journey,but worth it. I would stay away from places that cause you pain if you can, revisiting causes heartache, you can surely do without.

cars · Post by **cars** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 6:41 am

flopstock wrote: The fact of the matter is -there is no perfect family, sweetie. You have no way of knowing what goes on once they close the world out, any more then most of the world had a clue about your 'perfect family'. I think it would be interesting to know just how many of those 'perfect dads' envy you your freedom.

Of course, they don't know how much they would miss the kids and the 'sameness' of life. But you also have the opportunity to create a better relationship with your kids, because it's 'one on one ' and to create a newer and happier 'sameness' of life.

One day at a time, sweetie... I promise the 'hurt' will ease.

Like flop said, there really is no "perfect" family. Some people "act" like the Cleavers, (Leave it to Beaver TV show) to the outward public, for appearances sake, cause that's the way they are. But in reality behind closed doors, it's not always that perfect. For over twenty years, my ex sister had what appeared to be the perfect (Cleaver family life style) family life to the outward public. Cause that's the way she was, just an actress! But behind closed doors (hearing from her husband & her kids, & knowing her first hand myself) she was a Bi**h on wheels! So one can't always believe what other people display in public, for their on-stage audiance! :-2 (Oh Yeah, she's been "divorced" for over ten years now)

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 7:16 am

Mom is so right, time does heal all wounds! You never forget, but the pain fades away to a distant ache.

Keep on keepin' on! Life flows like a river to the sea,

(Hmmmm....do I know any more cliche's? nope!)

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:44 am

tmbsgrl wrote: First off I am truly sorry for what you are going through. My heart goes out to you. Second Time will eventually heal your broken heart.. If you will let it. My mom and dad have been seperated/divorced between 4-5 years now. He STILL has not gotten over her. He has a fiance that he lives with. Yes he is happy but he still loves my mom a lot. He says he always will. They were married for 27 years. He also says he is just waiting around for her to make up her mind.. he does not know that she has gotten remarried. It would tear him to pieces if he knew. He was very suicdal and my dad needs help. He refuses to go get it. Just make sure you let that part of your life go. You CAN be happy in another realtionship sooner or later.. Whenever you are ready. I wish you the best of luck in life.

It's kind of a "life is what you make it to be" scenario and if you are alone then you got all the opportunity in the world to make it your own how you want it. Kind of a custom job. And if yoiu botch it up you only have you to blame.

Anew, just go on out there and make your life just how you want it to be. Only you have the power to do so. Trust me in time, being on your own is most liberating and rewarding. Then you can slowly evolve into a partnership and enjoy that again. Hey got a tip for you, ..... New love is great. (but it takes time)

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 3:09 am

I lived in another state for many yrs & when I moved back home one of the 1st things I did was stop in front of the house I grew up in.

I had a unusually crappy childhood and I find myself driving by there every few months now.

I think its because I have unresolved issues.