Secrets All Women Keep

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:25 pm

"Don't-Tell-the-Husband" Secrets All Women Keep

By Jeannie Kim

We women are well aware that most of the time we're a profound mystery to men. And for the most part, we like it that way. But the thought has occurred to just about every woman: Would it really be so bad if he knew _________ about me? Wouldn't it help him understand me better? And more importantly, Wouldn't he annoy me less if he knew what I really wanted?

So for the benefit of women everywhere (and for your benefit too, guysâ€”remember, a happy woman makes for a much happier man), we're going to let men in on a little of what really makes us tick, deep down. Read on for 11 near-universal secrets of womankind. Some may shock you, others may be things you've suspected for a long time (but never had the nerve to ask about). But know this: the woman in your life? She's hiding more secrets than these, including a few you'd never imagine. Lucky youâ€”you get to spend a lifetime learning them all.

1. Everything we buy for ourselvesâ€”shoes, a skirt, even just stuff from the drugstoreâ€”really costs 20 percent more than we tell you it did.

Just because it's a classic sitcom plot doesn't mean it isn't true. "Sometimes I'll buy an outfit and charge half of it on our credit card and pay for the other half in cash so my husband doesn't know what I'm actually spending," admits one 32-year-old, who requested anonymity to protect her sneaky secret. Yeah, we know honesty is the best policy, hiding your spending habits is bad, blah blah blah. But sometimes we just don't want the hassle of arguing over the price of the fancy shampoo. Is that so wrong? We don't think so.

2. We actually think about sexâ€”with you!â€”a lot.

Sometimes we think about it all day long. It's just that by the end of the day we're too damn tired to do anything about it. Now, if you could only catch us at lunchtimeâ€¦

3. We're just as nervous about commitment as you are.

True, many girls grow up dreaming of Prince Charming, the white wedding, and happily ever after. But we're human, just like you, and when it comes down to the reality of tying our life to another person's, we get scared, too. "The idea of getting married completely freaked me out at first," says my friend Lisa, 34. "I know this sounds like a guy clichÃ©, but I saw it as giving up my independence and being tied down." The good news is, once we're hitched, we're generally pretty delighted about it. Says Lisa, "Now that I am married, having a life commitment is so comforting and wonderful. I love knowing that we are a team and that we're going to be on the same team forever."

4. We may be modern and independent, but we still want you to be "the man."

We do want you to be sensitive, caring 21st-century males, but even the most ass-kicking, take-no-prisoners woman still wants to feel taken care of by her man somehow. Whether that means you take charge in bed, know how to fix the car and kill spiders, or even just carry the big suitcase when we're on vacationâ€”when you act all manly, even if you're 98 pounds soaking wet, it makes us feel more feminine, more safe.

"I love that my friends and family always comment on how my husband opens the door for me and does all kinds of other chivalrous thingsâ€”especially when I was pregnant, when he was so protective of me and my belly," says Lorraine, 29, of New Hartford, NY. "At the end of the day, being in his strong arms is definitely a good feeling, no matter how independent I know I am."

5. Our ex-boyfriends were not completely terrible in bed.

You know how we're always telling you things like, "No one does it like you do"? Um, yeah. Well, we may have been stretching the truth just a teensy bit. But we'll never actually tell you that a past lover was a bedroom dynamoâ€”we're smarter than that. Just know that whatever toe-curling orgasms the other guy gave us, sex with you really is a million times betterâ€”because it's you, and you're the one we really want.

6. We're scared that we'll turn into our mothers.

We love our mothers, really. We admire them, we're grateful to them, we think they're the most amazing women on the planet. We just don't want to be them. That's why one of the worst insults you can hurl at a woman is, "You're acting just like your mother."

But here's one that's even worse: "You're acting just like my mother." It sends a horrible oedipal shiver down our spinesâ€”did he marry me because I'm like his mom? Will he start expecting me to cut the crusts off his PB&J? So please, if you value your sex life, never ever compare your wife to your mother. Out loud, anyway.

7. We want you to be jealousâ€”but just a little bit.

We want you to noticeâ€”and care!â€”when the waiter flirts with us, or when other guys check us out on the street. It makes us feel that we matter to you. But please don't get all Neanderthal and possessive on us. "I'm very loyal, and if my guy can't understand that I would never do anything with anyone else, then that just makes me mad," says Paulina, 22, from Brooklyn. So, to recap: Raising your eyebrows when we introduce you to our cute coworkerâ€”good. Punching him outâ€”very, very bad.

8. Yes, we fantasize about hot celebrity guys, but that doesn't mean we want you to be them.

Christian Bale is sexy and all, but can you imagine having to clean that Batcave?

9. We tell our girlfriends more than we admit to you (but less than you fear).

Yes, we tell them about the latest marital spat, complain about our mothers-in-law, and sigh over the hobby that sucks up all your free time. But we don't tell them how big your you-know-what is or that you cried in our arms when your dad died. Some things are just too important and intimate to share. "I definitely don't tell my girlfriends details like what my husband said when he proposed, the feeling I have every time I see him look at our daughter, and the little wonderful things he does for me every day," says Lorraine. "Those are just for me."

10. We really do notice and appreciate all the chores you do.

Why don't we say so often enough? Because we can't get over all the things you don't do. My husband, for example, is incredibly diligent about keeping a 6-by-10-foot carpeted patch of our apartment vacuumed and cat hairâ€“free, and I love that. But it kills me that it never occurs to him to dust the furniture sitting on top of that piece of carpet, or to sweep the hardwood floor adjoining it.

Blame our lack of positive feedback on that stubborn female belief that there is Only One Right Way to do any given household taskâ€”our way. It's probably the real reason why men don't shoulder a greater share of housekeeping duties; we complain about how you did it wrong, so you never want to do it again. (Sounds familiar, right?) Let's make a deal: You promise to dust the lampshade (or wipe down the kitchen counter after you wash the dishes, or take out the garbage and then put a new liner in the can) once in a while, and we promise to sing your praises. Agreed?

11. We love you with all our hearts, but we still get wistful about the fact that we'll never feel that falling-in-love sizzle and spark again.

I'll just come right out and say it: Most women are love addicts. And while we appreciate the depth and richness of long-time love, there is simply nothing like the giddy, fluttery, crazy feeling we get (or rather, used to get) with a brand-new guy. We know we'll never feel that high again, and there's a little part of us that will always miss it. (Why do you think we watch so many romantic comedies?) But in the end, what we get insteadâ€”you, and a lifetime of true devotionâ€”is more than worth the price.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:32 pm

11. We love you with all our hearts, but we still get wistful about the fact that we'll never feel that falling-in-love sizzle and spark again.

I'll just come right out and say it: Most women are love addicts. And while we appreciate the depth and richness of long-time love, there is simply nothing like the giddy, fluttery, crazy feeling we get (or rather, used to get) with a brand-new guy. We know we'll never feel that high again, and there's a little part of us that will always miss it.
Oh no....I was following up until that part....that sizzle doesn't always go away. At least for this girl it doesn't.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:40 pm

I always believe that women's hearts are deep oceans of secrets:sneaky: In fact last night my hubby and I were talking about a woman from his work who asked him and his business partner if their wives kept secrets from them and right off the bat my hubby said "yes, my wife has secrets that I never hear about" and the business partner said "my wife tells me everything". I would know from the partners end as his wife blabbed to him about something about me.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:40 pm

RedGlitter;901059 wrote: Oh no....I was following up until that part....that sizzle doesn't always go away. At least for this girl it doesn't.

that's so great Red, that didn't go away for you, and that's probably true for a lot of women. i'm sure this list doesn't describe everybody! :wah::wah:

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:43 pm

qsducks;901063 wrote: I always believe that women's hearts are deep oceans of secrets:sneaky: In fact last night my hubby and I were talking about a woman from his work who asked him and his business partner if their wives kept secrets from them and right off the bat my hubby said "yes, my wife has secrets that I never hear about" and the business partner said "my wife tells me everything". I would know from the partners end as his wife blabbed to him about something about me.

as women i think we all have secrets that we've never told another living soul, or at the very least we've told maybe one other person!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:45 pm

Hope6;901152 wrote: as women i think we all have secrets that we've never told another living soul, or at the very least we've told maybe one other person!

I know things about people that I would never tell a living soul and half of it comes from hubby about his family:sneaky:

:wah:

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:57 pm

qsducks;901156 wrote: I know things about people that I would never tell a living soul and half of it comes from hubby about his family:sneaky:

:wah:

yeah! i know things about people that i have promised not to tell anybody, and i haven't.

but i think i have forgotten a lot of stuff i've been told over the years too, that's good in a way because then i won't be tempted to tell it! :sneaky: :wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:03 pm

Hope6;901171 wrote: yeah! i know things about people that i have promised not to tell anybody, and i haven't.

but i think i have forgotten a lot of stuff i've been told over the years too, that's good in a way because then i won't be tempted to tell it! :sneaky: :wah:

Oh yeah, he tells me the "big secret" and I totally forget it the next day. He get's annoyed when I don't "remember" it. Momnesia again. Good thing for that infliction:wah:

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:13 pm

qsducks;901177 wrote: Oh yeah, he tells me the "big secret" and I totally forget it the next day. He get's annoyed when I don't "remember" it. Momnesia again. Good thing for that infliction:wah:

yeah because i've got momnesia big time! :wah::wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:16 pm

How ya doin tonight doll? Got Jacob down for the night?

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:21 pm

qsducks;901198 wrote: How ya doin tonight doll? Got Jacob down for the night?

i'm fine, sweetie!:-4

he's laying down with some juice but he's not quite asleep yet! :-6

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:23 pm

Hope6;901201 wrote: i'm fine, sweetie!:-4

he's laying down with some juice but he's not quite asleep yet! :-6

You did dilute it with some water on this hot summer night I hope. And you've got fans on him I hope. Oh, I remember those nights with no air. If he get's really hot, just put him in the tub and that should cool him down and put him out.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:32 pm

qsducks;901205 wrote: You did dilute it with some water on this hot summer night I hope. And you've got fans on him I hope. Oh, I remember those nights with no air. If he get's really hot, just put him in the tub and that should cool him down and put him out.

yeah he's in good shape, with a big fan blowing on him. and i got his juice thinned down, with some water so he's good to go! :wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:34 pm

Hope6;901215 wrote: yeah he's in good shape, with a big fan blowing on him. and i got his juice thinned down, with some water so he's good to go! :wah:

Oh good. I know it's hard on him as he get's dehydrated quickly. Your'e a good mom Hope.:-4

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:38 pm

qsducks;901217 wrote: Oh good. I know it's hard on him as he get's dehydrated quickly. Your'e a good mom Hope.:-4

well thank you babe, i try! :-4

Predator Prevention · Fri Jun 27, 2008 10:35 pm

11. We love you with all our hearts, but we still get wistful about the fact that we'll never feel that falling-in-love sizzle and spark again.

I'll just come right out and say it: Most women are love addicts. And while we appreciate the depth and richness of long-time love, there is simply nothing like the giddy, fluttery, crazy feeling we get (or rather, used to get) with a brand-new guy. We know we'll never feel that high again, and there's a little part of us that will always miss it. (Why do you think we watch so many romantic comedies?) But in the end, what we get insteadâ€”you, and a lifetime of true devotionâ€”is more than worth the price.

For most situations this would be correct, but when my husband comes back from deployment, we haven't seen one another in a while ..................... sizzle sizzle sizzle sizzle:-6:-6:-6:-6:-6:-6 It's like it's all brand new.

Post by **Ally** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 10:39 pm

Think I agree with the post, and think we all have a bit of momnesia lol, wich is a good thing right.Love my hubby to death but sometimes really I could see him far enough.I have tryed to explain wot keeps us happy like every now and then without prompting bring us some flowers or choccys out of the blue,and all his dreams would come at once but noooooooooooooooo.Oh I just didnt think of it same old story.Thank god they make up for it in other ways,I couldnt do without him.

:-6:-6:-6

Post by **Ally** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 10:40 pm

WOW PP good for u hun.:-6:-6:-6:-6:-6

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:04 am

Hope6;901152 wrote: as women i think we all have secrets that we've never told another living soul, or at the very least we've told maybe one other person!

I have lots of confidential secrets I must keep & do keep.

I would never tell or show anyones confidential things to anyone else.

Family secrets are killers;):wah::wah:

Post by **jones jones** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:35 am

we knew most of them anyway!!!

we just let you THINK your a mystery to make you feel good! :-4

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 12:50 am

jones jones;901291 wrote: we knew most of them anyway!!!

we just let you THINK your a mystery to make you feel good! :-4

oh! so that's how it is huh? :wah::wah: just to make us feel good! :wah::wah:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:21 am

jones jones;901291 wrote: we knew most of them anyway!!!

we just let you THINK your a mystery to make you feel good! :-4

And we women let you keep on thinking that too...

Therein lies the trick.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:27 am

RedGlitter;901295 wrote: And we women let you keep on thinking that too...

Therein lies the trick.

Amen Sister! :sneaky:

:wah::wah:

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:29 am

I rather like to keep you a mystery...

Makes the romance even that much better...

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:36 am

K.Snyder;901297 wrote: I rather like to keep you a mystery...

Makes the romance even that much better...

Snake Charmer, you. :-4

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:42 am

K.Snyder;901297 wrote: I rather like to keep you a mystery...

Makes the romance even that much better...

we like to stay a mystery too i think!

well to a certain extent anyway! :wah::wah:

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:43 am

RedGlitter;901299 wrote: Snake Charmer, you. :-4

:wah::wah::wah:

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 2:07 am

RedGlitter;901299 wrote: Snake Charmer, you. :-4

Who me?...:yh_ooooo

Yes Yes Yes!!!

:wah:

Sorry...

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 2:10 am

K.Snyder;901305 wrote: Who me?...:yh_ooooo

Yes Yes Yes!!!

:wah:

Sorry...

:wah: I knew it.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:34 am

RedGlitter;901306 wrote: :wah: I knew it.

:wah::wah::wah:

i love your little signature cartoon btw Red! that is the cutiest thing! :-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 7:43 am

Now the truth comes out.

Women.....hmph !

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:02 am

Nomad;901439 wrote: Now the truth comes out.

Women.....hmph !

are we a disappointment to you darlin?

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:23 am

Hope6;901462 wrote: are we a disappointment to you darlin?

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

A disappointment, never.

A conundrum, always.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:33 am

Nomad;901478 wrote: A disappointment, never.

A conundrum, always.

:wah::wah::wah:

yeah, but i think we are a riddle that you guys never give up on trying to solve!

:wah::wah::wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:33 am

I always think "what hubby doesn't know, won't hurt him":wah:

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:37 am

qsducks;901489 wrote: I always think "what hubby doesn't know, won't hurt him":wah:

amen sister! :wah:

hey Ducky did you know you're only about 4 or 5 posts from having 10,000?

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:39 am

Hope6;901492 wrote: amen sister! :wah:

hey Ducky did you know you're only about 4 or 5 posts from having 10,000?

Do I get a party at the Pub?:wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 8:54 am

Have to jump off here for a bit, will be back later. One to go:wah:

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:14 am

qsducks;901493 wrote: Do I get a party at the Pub?:wah:

of course you can have a party darlin! :guitarist

now you've just got to decide where you want to post number 10,000