spot;908687 wrote: I may have a rose-tinted unrealistic view of relationships but I don't recall living with neighbours who didn't all set aside their preconceptions and work together to get the best result for everyone in circumstances like this. That's why it's called a neighbourhood. Once there's a division into us and them the only result is that the remaining cooperative neighbourhood turns out to be too small to solve its collective problems.
In England the basic unit would be the street, for at least ten houses in each direction and both sides. If a family lived there they would be part of the help system, if they needed help they'd be helped, the one bunch of people you could rely on would be that bunch because you didn't get to choose who they were, they just existed in that relationship to you. This assumption was true in every street I've lived on, it seems self-destructive not to make that level of group help work for a problem family who obviously need it.
You're lucky Spotalicious, because in general that's not the way the world works anymore.
We have a whole new estate thats been built at the end of our road. The flats are 4 storeys high and 10% of them have been given to low income families. Included in that group are the scroungers and scumbags who collect all the benefits available and think the world owes them a living. My other halfs mate lives in that block and he says that the 2 families who are total scroungers tend to sleep all day and be up all night shouting, screaming, playing loud music, drinking and fighting. The police just try to keep the peace and let it go. :-5
One of the local councils did try putting all the rowdy trouble-making families onto one estate once but it became a black hole where all the local cars were petrol-bombed and even the houses received arson attacks! I think if people want to be that bloody-minded then there's not a lot the police can do. They just move the families around to new properties every so often.
I have an 8-year-old in my class who drools over pictures of scantily-clad women in newspapers. He's barely literate and he has a father who does exactly the same, showing his son photo's from newspapers and magazines and saying "Cor, look at 'er son, I'd give 'er one!" So both sons come to school and reiterate that exact same behaviour! The other kids can't stand this boy who is rude (foul-mouthed) and always kicking and punching the other kids. He says disgusting things to the girls to upset them. He's always being punished and missing out on treats and this week he got so many black marks his parents were called in. But the father isn't interested and he and both sons treat the mother like a doormat, so she just cowers and does nothing.
I have 3 illiterate boys in my class and when you ask them what they want to be when they grow up they say "Nuffin. Um jus' gonna sign on the dole, innit?" They're all bullies, 2 refuse point blank to do any work and they all swear like troopers. The only weird thing is that if anyone hurts them or calls them names then they just burst into tears! They obviously have feelings but it's nearly impossible to get through to them. One kid says his dad can't read and write and says he doesn't need to either because he's going to be a fighter when he grows up so he doesn't need to learn to read and write. He's the nicest of the 3 but we don't see him too much as for every day he's in school he misses 2-3 days of it. He also gets absolutely no help or encouragement at home. He's also one of 7 kids. So many of these badly behaved kids come from large families where they get no attention and more kids just means more benefits to collect. You can see their life stretching out as a void which will probably end in borstal and/or prison. It's such a shame and such a waste and there's very little we can do about it. I put a lot of effort into helping my special needs kids, trying to get them off the ground and up and running. If they could read properly and understand they might have some chance in life, but it seems to be 2 steps forward and 1 step back and I haven't got anywhere near where I wanted them to be as year end approaches!
I'm so sorry for you having to put up with such foul neighbours, qsducks, all I can suggest is to tell your kids and their friends to stay the heck away from these bratty kids. Keep them in your garden or where you can see them as I'm guessing foul-mouths and bullying is all they know and all they can give out. You don't need to explain to your kids what they mean when they say rude things, just explain that its rude and they dont understand any better and don't know how to be nice because their parents never learn't how to be better or to be nice either. Then tell them how lucky they are to have such a nice mummy and daddy who love them and who want to protect them so while it's okay to feel sorry for these poor boys who don't know any better it's also wise to steer clear of them in case they get hurt.
I know its not politically correct, but you have to explain in a way they understand. Thats how I try to reassure the girls who come crying to me every day because these boys have hurt them with obscene words or gestures or with fists or kicks. It's not the best way but I just don't know how else to deal with their behaviour.
:)
. But in all this what needs to be done?? We can all vent about these so called undesirables but all that happens is they get moved around, with no intervention or changes to unlawful behaviour. Surely the start needs to be made with the children regardless of who their mother is. Thats the best way to break the cycle, they need to be shown by example, then those children can pick their own way to continue in life.