Why leave?

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 4:52 pm

I didn't want to ruin the group hug in the other threads so I'm bringing this one in.

jimbo;917887 wrote: nothing lasts for ever and all of us will leave fg one day

Why? I don't get it. I don't see any reason to "leave" a place that sits on my desktop. It's not like it's Mom & Dad's house and we have to strike out and make it on our own. This is the local malt shop where all the old friends hang out. You drop in for awhile to get away from life every now & then.

Maybe it's because I didn't grow up in a "stable" environment that I'm not understanding. Somebody help me out, please.

hoppy · Post by **hoppy** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:00 pm

Dunno. I'm usually forcibly ejected.:-2

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 5:02 pm

hoppy;918257 wrote: Dunno. I'm usually forcibly ejected.:-2
Exactly! *Oi. Use a coaster* That's what I mean. Most places would never tolerate some of the best of what goes on here. It's what makes the Garden unique.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:21 pm

To me, FG pops up on the computer, and it is like opening the door to the parlor and your friends are sitting around, chatting and having fun. Theia is eyeing Betty's cardigan, Nomad is trying to take spot's fingerprints off his club and soda, Red is petting my kitty cat, AC is correcting all my homework papers (now aren't I nice....

).....But it is a door to good friends, and I think it is 3-4 years I have been here or so. I do not tire of seeing your faces on the screen, and know you are there behind it having fun too.

To me, everyone has been here through the massive changes in my life, given good advice and encouragement, I hope I do the same for you. That is just how we are. :-4

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:37 pm

Well, I don't get it either..

They don't just leave for awhile - they erase being a member?

I don't get it. Wondered why?

FG is a comfortable familiar place, everyone knows your name type place.

It's automatic to go to FG and

maybe it's because I didn't grow up in a "stable" enviornment.

Patsy

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:52 pm

I don't get it either?? I can understand taking a break but leaving the GARDEN no way. :-6

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:07 pm

Well...I think sometimes it's easy for some of us to feel like we're out of place; it does happen and those "goodbye cruel world" posts are either an attempt at wiping out what you think troubles you or else a bid for attention. Probably usually the latter.

I know a few people who use FG for reasons other than a social forum. I don't understand that myself because it's hard fo rme not to spend a great deal of myself here like I have and *not* feel social or at least that I have invested a part of myself here.

I know a few members who have gotten ticked at other members and so they've made a big to do of leaving. I take this as a coup de gras and at times a way of spitting over their shoulder when they split.

One now nonexistent member who claimed to be a "real life" friend of mine and who has members here who think they're her friends, wrote me a pissygram stating she was deleting me from her address book and instant messenger because she never hears from me. I guess I let a week go by without enough word.

This same person told me she left FG because she's too busy with her real life friends and that "the people at FG mean nothing to me." Wow, eh?

So I guess maybe it's an individual thing. And again it's the internet. Here when you want it, turn it off when you don't. Scary.

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:25 pm

I must confess, I can't leave. I don't participate much these days but leaving completely is too hard to do. It's been almost 4 years now and in the beginning I was going through a time when I think I might have lost my mind if it hadn't been for the conversations and advice here.

I don't understand it either.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:37 pm

Does this picture have anything to do with the topic ?

No, probably not but I had to put it somewhere didnt I ?

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:51 pm

Nomad;918327 wrote: Does this picture have anything to do with the topic ?

No, probably not but I had to put it somewhere didnt I ?

I think I understand. "Why leave" the dust caps on.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:55 pm

Clint;918331 wrote: I think I understand. "Why leave" the dust caps on.

Not exactly.

I was trying to think of a reply then I saw this picture.

I get distracted a lot.

Probably the biggest mistake you could make about me would be to assume theres a hidden meaning behind anything I say.

:D

Clint · Post by **Clint** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:00 pm

Nomad;918333 wrote: Not exactly.

I was trying to think of a reply then I saw this picture.

I get distracted a lot.

Probably the biggest mistake you could make about me would be to assume theres a hidden meaning behind anything I say.

:D

Sorry...I didn't mean to do anything that would ruin your reputation.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:06 pm

Like Red said, it's an attention thing ....people want to be asked to stay because it makes them feel that their still popular .

I really think that if an internet forum is the first place you run when something major happens in your life, your taking it way to seriously .

Real life and real people must always come first .

Forums are great (and this is a great forum) and there are some fantastic people here, just never forget no one person is bigger than this forum and it will go on regardless of whoever leaves:driving:

theia · Post by **theia** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:18 pm

Accountable;918256 wrote: I didn't want to ruin the group hug in the other threads so I'm bringing this one in.

Why? I don't get it. I don't see any reason to "leave" a place that sits on my desktop. It's not like it's Mom & Dad's house and we have to strike out and make it on our own. This is the local malt shop where all the old friends hang out. You drop in for awhile to get away from life every now & then.

Maybe it's because I didn't grow up in a "stable" environment that I'm not understanding. Somebody help me out, please.

I flounced off a while ago in rather an embarrassing fashion. I wish that I'd just taken a break because I found myself sloping back about a year after and it took me ages to stop feeling rather silly about my leaving post. But the good thing is that no-one here reminded me of my flounce or drew attention to the fact that I'd left. That was a blessing. Maybe it was an attention seeking thing, and maybe if I had expressed the way I was feeling openly and honestly, the issues could have been resolved without my drama.

But it's good to be back as a permanent feature and to be able to covet and to 3-letter-abbreviate to my heart's content :-6

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:18 am

Nice to have you back, Theia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by **jones jones** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:15 am

yeah ... i'm inclined to agree with all thats been said here ...

i mean if you like wanna leave FG ... just log out! quite simple is it not?

no need to delete your account ...

to me Forum Garden is a place to have fun ... meet heaps of mostly very friendly women ... and men and chat to people from all around the world at a fraction of what it would otherwise cost ...

oh yes and flirt a little!

Jj :-4

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:40 am

I got pissed off, and scared a couple of years ago. In a huff I told myself I was through with FG. The place called to me, every day that I was gone.

Like you all have said, its comfortable like an old pair of shoes. So nice to see members youve known for years. I dont understand deleting.... its so permanent!! For what reason?? I guess its like purging your refrigerator of ice cream and chocolate when your starting a diet. So you cant eat.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:28 am

theia;918351 wrote: I flounced off a while ago in rather an embarrassing fashion. I wish that I'd just taken a break because I found myself sloping back about a year after and it took me ages to stop feeling rather silly about my leaving post. But the good thing is that no-one here reminded me of my flounce or drew attention to the fact that I'd left. That was a blessing. Maybe it was an attention seeking thing, and maybe if I had expressed the way I was feeling openly and honestly, the issues could have been resolved without my drama.

But it's good to be back as a permanent feature and to be able to covet and to 3-letter-abbreviate to my heart's content :-6
You left?? :-2

;)

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:37 am

chonsigirl;918273 wrote: To me, FG pops up on the computer, and it is like opening the door to the parlor and your friends are sitting around, chatting and having fun. Theia is eyeing Betty's cardigan, Nomad is trying to take spot's fingerprints off his club and soda, Red is petting my kitty cat, AC is correcting all my homework papers (now aren't I nice....

).....But it is a door to good friends, and I think it is 3-4 years I have been here or so. I do not tire of seeing your faces on the screen, and know you are there behind it having fun too.

To me, everyone has been here through the massive changes in my life, given good advice and encouragement, I hope I do the same for you. That is just how we are. :-4Right! Chonsi, you and some others here have influenced me to make positive changes in my life I might otherwise not have made. When things at home were really shaky (no I didn't tell anyone) I found strength here. Sure I could have found some face-to-face friends, but I was new in town and besides, I brought all my old friends with me ... exactly like writing letters would have done in the old days only better. :-6

Now that things in my life are falling in place, this is the place I love to come because, like Weeder says, it's comfortable. It's another room in my house. The one with really comfortable furniture.

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:23 am

Accountable;918256 wrote: I didn't want to ruin the group hug in the other threads so I'm bringing this one in.

Why? I don't get it. I don't see any reason to "leave" a place that sits on my desktop. It's not like it's Mom & Dad's house and we have to strike out and make it on our own. This is the local malt shop where all the old friends hang out. You drop in for awhile to get away from life every now & then.

Maybe it's because I didn't grow up in a "stable" environment that I'm not understanding. Somebody help me out, please.

This place is total escapism for me from the pain in the a$$ that real life can be.

I'm sorry guys, but you're stuck with me..:sneaky:

K......I'm done

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:45 am

Nomad;918327 wrote: Does this picture have anything to do with the topic ?

No, probably not but I had to put it somewhere didnt I ?

Dunno, Nomad. But this picture popped in my mind.:wah:

Attached files

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:48 am

There have been some days when I don't even feel like booting up my computer. But when I do, I have to come here to visit. Forum Garden is like that big comfy chair by the window.

Attached files

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:48 am

Thats a happy place.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:59 am

grecianurn;918856 wrote: There are probably as many reasons why people leave as there are people who leave. I have left a few times (I was originally pompom) but I guess FG has an attraction (and its reverse) specific to each "user". I shall probably leave again, or maybe not...

People do what they can/must do , because they can/must do? (Whatever rules apply.)

You are pom pom ? :-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:06 am

Pompy Oomy ! :-6

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:39 am

grecianurn;918856 wrote: (I was originally pompom)
So why did you delete your account?

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:56 pm

grecianurn;919016 wrote: Ummm ... more to do with me than fg. That's all I can come up with. Or - maybe that's all I want to say. I think I'm a fairly open book, comparatively - but who am I to judge? I know I'm not dishonest, as far as I know and can judge. I have many flaws but I sincerely hope that I address these as/when I become aware of them.

Maybe I'm not a typically "clubbable" person. As far as I'm aware, I'm not a bad person.

I don't know!
I only ask because when people delete their accounts it's impossible to do searches on their old posts. Drives me nuts when I want to find Snooze's old gems. :-6

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:56 pm

Hi Accountable,

When I first joined Fg, I'd only been a member of 1 forum...."The Virtual Irish Pub" and then FG. The original Irish pub is closed now. I deleted my account with FG twice. The 1st time was because I was so addicted to the garden and not getting any work done. I thought that if I deleted my account then I wouldn't be tempted to return. The 2nd time I deleted my account was due to a tiff with some members here. I make very rash decisions at times and don't think about the consequences. I had to come back to FG because I missed everyone here so much. I realize now that it's good to take a break and not delete your account. I lost all of my original posts and threads, but Tombstone gave me back my original date that I joined.

Some members in the FG view this site as a welcoming place to come and chat and realize that this place is not the real world. Others have made so many close friends that are viewed the same as real life friends. Both views are just fine...whatever floats your boat:-6 :-6 Feeling this way about a forum doesn't mean that you're lonely, needy or don't have a real life....it just means that you've bonded with people from all over the world that you would never meet in real life.

I do know that I love and have bonded with many, many people in the FG. There were quite a few times when I was ready to hop in my car to travel to a FG member who needed a friend....and would have done that in a heartbeat. There are many people here that I hope to meet in real life soon. Koan once said that she'd like to rent a van and just go around picking up people so we could all meet and greet.

I think the reason why some members also delete their account is because they've had real life issues and if their account is not deleted then they'll just keep coming back when that's not feasible. Others are angry at other members and don't want to deal with them, and some are just bored with members posts.

Quite a few members are fed up with the fact that their threads and posts are ignored. They go to a lot of trouble to post a thread and poof, it's gone in a day sometimes. Some members are upset because they feel like they're a target and will have their post/threads attacked from every angle.

So people delete their account because they feel bored, angry, stressed or not appreciated. Deleting your account is either making a statement or just being at wits end with your daily life.

Some people are emotional and react badly to negativity and other members could give a ra*ts arse about what others think. That's what's so nice...our diversity.

"Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side," but I for one am happy with my little bit of turf in the FG. As Chonsi said, it's nice to open a door and find all your friends waiting to greet you. We love, fight and forgive just like a real family does.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:08 pm

Kathy Ellen;919243 wrote: Hi Accountable,

When I first joined Fg, I'd only been a member of 1 forum...."The Virtual Irish Pub" and then FG. The original Irish pub is closed now. I deleted my account with FG twice. The 1st time was because I was so addicted to the garden and not getting any work done. I thought that if I deleted my account then I wouldn't be tempted to return. The 2nd time I deleted my account was due to a tiff with some members here. I make very rash decisions at times and don't think about the consequences. I had to come back to FG because I missed everyone here so much. I realize now that it's good to take a break and not delete your account. I lost all of my original posts and threads, but Tombstone gave me back my original date that I joined.

Some members in the FG view this site as a welcoming place to come and chat and realize that this place is not the real world. Others have made so many close friends that are viewed the same as real life friends. Both views are just fine...whatever floats your boat:-6 :-6 Feeling this way about a forum doesn't mean that you're lonely, needy or don't have a real life....it just means that you've bonded with people from all over the world that you would never meet in real life.

I do know that I love and have bonded with many, many people in the FG. There were quite a few times when I was ready to hop in my car to travel to a FG member who needed a friend....and would have done that in a heartbeat. There are many people here that I hope to meet in real life soon. Koan once said that she'd like to rent a van and just go around picking up people so we could all meet and greet.

I think the reason why some members also delete their account is because they've had real life issues and if their account is not deleted then they'll just keep coming back when that's not feasible. Others are angry at other members and don't want to deal with them, and some are just bored with members posts.

Quite a few members are fed up with the fact that their threads and posts are ignored. They go to a lot of trouble to post a thread and poof, it's gone in a day sometimes. Some members are upset because they feel like they're a target and will have their post/threads attacked from every angle.

So people delete their account because they feel bored, angry, stressed or not appreciated. Deleting your account is either making a statement or just being at wits end with your daily life.

Some people are emotional and react badly to negativity and other members could give a ra*ts arse about what others think. That's what's so nice...our diversity.

"Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side," but I for one am happy with my little bit of turf in the FG. As Chonsi said, it's nice to open a door and find all your friends waiting to greet you. We love, fight and forgive just like a real family does.
Thanks for such a thoughtful, thought-filled post. Yes, we're just like extended family here. :-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:16 pm

Accountable;919108 wrote: I only ask because when people delete their accounts it's impossible to do searches on their old posts. Drives me nuts when I want to find Snooze's old gems. :-6

She has 13 other accounts to draw from.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:22 pm

Nomad;919252 wrote: She has 13 other accounts to draw from.

:wah:

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:38 am

group hug! :p

:-4

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:49 am

[quote=sunny104;919858]group hug! :p

:-4

Thats where I draw the line. Im leaving.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:57 am

Nomad;919874 wrote: [quote=sunny104;919858]group hug! :p

:-4

Thats where I draw the line. Im leaving.

you know you'd love it! :p

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:20 am

rjwould;919316 wrote: That really is a nice post from a nice person. Kathy Ellen, your a good person to know.

perfect.:-6

woppy71 · Post by **woppy71** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:52 am

I've spent some time away from FG, for one reason or another (mostly to much work and not enough time) but I have never, or could delete my account. Why would I possibly want to do that? There are far, far to many good people on here, which far, far outweigh the bad ones.

For me, there are also some great characters, that never cease to make my smile (Nomad, you are unique and I gladly call you my friend :-6), which is important to me. There are those I would like to meet in RL and those who I probably wouldn't give the time of day to. To me, it's just like real life, I treat people here the same as I would as if I met them in the flesh.

Like anything, a break is sometimes good, but I don't think I could leave here. :-4

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 10:55 am

woppy71;920118 wrote: I've spent some time away from FG, for one reason or another (mostly to much work and not enough time) but I have never, or could delete my account. Why would I possibly want to do that? There are far, far to many good people on here, which far, far outweigh the bad ones.

For me, there are also some great characters, that never cease to make my smile (Nomad, you are unique and I gladly call you my friend :-6), which is important to me. There are those I would like to meet in RL and those who I probably wouldn't give the time of day to. To me, it's just like real life, I treat people here the same as I would as if I met them in the flesh.

Like anything, a break is sometimes good, but I don't think I could leave here. :-4

Hi Woppy are you the member some here thought were the numa numa guy????:D

Dewey2Me1MoThyme · Post by **Dewey2Me1MoThyme** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:13 am

I don't post here as much as i used to, mainly because i feel i'm killing threads when I dew, oops there goes another one, but anyway, I still have a small selection of friends here i hope, so i pop in now and then for that reason. Sorry if I killed this one too

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:36 am

I left once but nobody noticed so to draw attention to myself I came back.. hmmm still nobody noticed, I am STILL standing on the pub table waving my arms for somebody to notice...

Geeze some days this is just to much like real life ... nobody notices me there either.

Ahahaha all in good fun.

Who knows why people leave, I will be the first to say I am sorry many people left here permanantly. It's easy to just take a break and re-group and come back later. Nobody should be embarassed to come back here.... and I for one am glad to see people come back from our colorful past. I would also like to go on record saying that if I could be forgiven for my part in causing some members to leave then so be it...please do forgive me.

we may not like everybody and everybody may not like us, and the joys of the net are such that we can pick and choose who we talk to... and I don't mean talk about.

M

woppy71 · Post by **woppy71** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:42 am

Chezzie;920122 wrote: Hi Woppy are you the member some here thought were the numa numa guy????:D

:eek: NO! :wah::D

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:45 am

woppy71;920176 wrote:

NO! :wah::D

oh sorry lol..

Past member here and his brother were pretending one of them was the numa numa guy...I posted the original numa numa guy off you tube cos I love him and he makes me feel really happy and I was told the story and could of swore your name was mentioned...

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 2:10 pm

Blimey - is that Minks standing on a table waving her arms again????? G'day Hon!!! And yes, I miss some of the folks from our "colourful past" too.

Kathy Ellen - you are a gem !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Garden certainly contains some amazing fauna and flora to frolic amongst - and like the best gardens - there's always going to be the odd serpent in the apple tree.

So wear fig leaves and refuseth to be driven forth... instead lighting up the barbie of life and tossing onto it any shrimps of calumny.

Anyone for a glass of bubbly? Sunny? Chezzie? Wops???? Dewey???????

Heck... would someone please ungroup hug Nomad. He's fainted from shock!!

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:01 pm

dewey2me1mothyme;920140 wrote: i Don't Post Here As Much As I Used To, Mainly Because I Feel I'm Killing Threads When I Dew, Oops There Goes Another One, But Anyway, I Still Have A Small Selection Of Friends Here I Hope, So I Pop In Now And Then For That Reason. Sorry If I Killed This One Too

Dewey !

Dewey !!!

woppy71 · Post by **woppy71** » Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:28 pm

Chezzie;920183 wrote: oh sorry lol..

Past member here and his brother were pretending one of them was the numa numa guy...I posted the original numa numa guy off you tube cos I love him and he makes me feel really happy and I was told the story and could of swore your name was mentioned...

Well, yes it was me, but i thought I had eradicated that rumour, LOL

:wah:

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:57 am

woppy71;920679 wrote: Well, yes it was me, but i thought I had eradicated that rumour, LOL

:wah:

hah I knew it:D