Son Not Allowed in Neighbors Pool

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 11:55 am

:mad:This is a very sore subject with me. My 12 yr old son is friends with the kids around the block, but one girl has a huge pool in her backyard and everyone can swim in it except my son. And it's because her dad is still mad at my son over something that happened 5 yrs ago! He's also got a problem with my husband & myself over what we supposedly did 15 yrs ago. Yeah, we called the cops when him & his friends had huge loud parties on worknights. Big baby.

Well anyways, when everybody wants to go to the movies, I drive. I don't mind driving, but it does bother me that her stubborn dad will LET her in my car but my son can't go in their pool. I don't want to sink down to stubborn dad's level and ban his daughter from my car and the movies, but any suggestions?

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:35 pm

Jester;921215 wrote: Make friends with his wife and let her by pass him...

Yer right dont stoop, or you could be bold, call them up and invite them over for coffee and actually discuss it purposely, have a plan on what you want to say and make the first step to bridge the gap.

Or you could just keep being nice to the daughter, and show her what an arse her dad is.

What jester said!!!

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:42 pm

why not let loose a load of eels into the pool!!!:sneaky::wah:

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:48 pm

:wah::wah:the thought has crossed my mind. Can you imagine jellied eels in the pool:wah:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:52 pm

qsducks;921240 wrote: :wah::wah:the thought has crossed my mind. Can you imagine jellied eels in the pool:wah:

Yuck!!

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:57 pm

Jester;921215 wrote: Make friends with his wife and let her by pass him...

Yer right dont stoop, or you could be bold, call them up and invite them over for coffee and actually discuss it purposely, have a plan on what you want to say and make the first step to bridge the gap.

Or you could just keep being nice to the daughter, and show her what an arse her dad is.

The wife is just as bad and so is his mother who lives there. I did stop over on July 4th to say "hi" and all the kids were in the pool and the dad was cleaning out the pool and kept his back to me. Never even turned around to say hi. I thought he was extremely rude. IDK, can't figure out the dude. And he is an arse:wah: Usually, the temper in me would be to flip out on him, but I held my tongue that day.

and only because my son is friendly with his daughter and didn't want to embarress my son.

I'm at the end of my rope with this jerk. I just feel like saying "what is your ********** problem that my kid can't get in the pool when I drive your daughter to the movies all the time?

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:15 pm

that happen to me when i was a kid. my friend's mom did not:rolleyes: like me. they were a snobby bunch. so i can understand how your son must feel.

cars · Post by **cars** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 1:40 pm

[quote=qsducks;921244]The wife is just as bad and so is his mother who lives there. I did stop over on July 4th to say "hi" and all the kids were in the pool and the dad was cleaning out the pool and kept his back to me. Never even turned around to say hi. I thought he was extremely rude. IDK, can't figure out the dude. And he is an arse:wah: Usually, the temper in me would be to flip out on him, but I held my tongue that day.

and only because my son is friendly with his daughter and didn't want to embarress my son.

I'm at the end of my rope with this jerk. I just feel like saying "what is your ********** problem that my kid can't get in the pool when I drive your daughter to the movies all the time?quote]

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qsd, over the years when confronting a nasty situation, (person) I have found it wise (for me at least) to write a note, to that person(s). I do this

when I am calm, thinking straight, and not in the heat of battle. So I can best carefully pick & choose, & even ponder my words, to most effectively get my point(s) across. Sometimes, it actually gives the other person time to really think and ponder their thoughts as well, and put them in perspective, before just shooting out a thoughtless reply.

(If the note trick doesn't work, well then all bets are off! Then go ahead and do the eels thing!:wah:)

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 2:38 pm

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qsd, over the years when confronting a nasty situation, (person) I have found it wise (for me at least) to write a note, to that person(s). I do this

when I am calm, thinking straight, and not in the heat of battle. So I can best carefully pick & choose, & even ponder my words, to most effectively get my point(s) across. Sometimes, it actually gives the other person time to really think and ponder their thoughts as well, and put them in perspective, before just shooting out a thoughtless reply.

(If the note trick doesn't work, well then all bets are off! Then go ahead and do the eels thing!:wah:)

You've got a really good idea on this Cars. I always do my best communicating with people when I write them a letter. It gives me the time I need to best think of how to word what I want to say...plus you don't get interupted and end up off track or forgetting something entirely. I even do this with my husband so I know I won't get interupted. I'll type out a note and tape it to the bathroom mirror, then he'll have the day to ponder what I'm saying, then we can talk about it when he gets home. It works about 90% of the time.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 3:05 pm

All great advice here Ducky......

Geeze, that's awful having ill feelings with neighbors. If I were you I would hope that I was the bigger person and at least tried to make amends for the sake of my child and neighborhood.

I like the idea of mailing a note to these neighbors asking them to meet for a cup of coffee to discuss issues. Now the ball is in their court and hopefully you can meet on common turf and iron things out.

If this doesn't work, I'd bite my tongue and include the child in your car pooling. She didn't do anything....it's her parents who are the a**holes (like that word Ducky:wah:)

Good luck Ducky...it is what it is....

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 9:23 pm

qsducks

Continue to be nice to their child (can't take it out on a child) she can see for herself who the A$$ is here. they know - don't blow up.

You really don't want your child in their pool for a number of reasons.

I wouldn't bother with a letter - don't show so must anger - you'll need to pretend this doesn't affect you or your child.

I wouldn't acknowledge the situation.

I'd discuss it with my child if need be ??

The less time your son spends over there the better...

With what has transpired between the adults - keep your son busy elsewhere...!!

With their attitude - your child's safety is the up most importance - you don't want him over there - be happy they sent him home - keep him home.

Who needs them?

Patsy

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Jul 18, 2008 10:27 pm

Take em some Pie/Mash cockney style......they will be yer friends for life oh and dont forget the vinager and pepper

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Sat Jul 19, 2008 12:41 am

Patsy Warnick;921456 wrote: qsducks

Continue to be nice to their child (can't take it out on a child) she can see for herself who the A$$ is here. they know - don't blow up.

You really don't want your child in their pool for a number of reasons.

I wouldn't bother with a letter - don't show so must anger - you'll need to pretend this doesn't affect you or your child.

I wouldn't acknowledge the situation.

I'd discuss it with my child if need be ??

The less time your son spends over there the better...

With what has transpired between the adults - keep your son busy elsewhere...!!

With their attitude - your child's safety is the up most importance - you don't want him over there - be happy they sent him home - keep him home.

Who needs them?

Patsy

Your advice is so much better than mine. If the people are this bad then I would wonder if they even supervise the kids while in the pool.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:29 am

Awww ducks how mean are they!!!

Right this is what I would do.

Id spoil their child rotten, id invite her over for fun at your house, id include her in everything. Id buy a blow up pool the biggest size I could afford ( we have a bestway 12ft pool and it was only £30) and id invite everyone over to our house.

So that pool he took the time filling would be empty lol...

The daughter wouldnt fail to relay back to mum and dad how cool you all are and how great a time you give her.

That would make me feel happy for my child, he wouldnt be feeling left out.

Id also NOT rise to them personally either by note phone or one to one...Ignorance is bliss on occasions like this.

Good luck Might Ducks:D

Victoria · Post by **Victoria** » Sat Jul 19, 2008 2:35 am

Sorry I would just accept its their pool their garden they can invite or not who they want.

Thats life, some people are petty, nasty, up their own a*se idiots and nothing you can do or say will change that.

Rise above it.

Note to Carroly.....

Pie mash and liquor jeeze do you have to tease?

Seeing that has made my mouth water its been ages since I had pie and mash. North End Road was the last time... must be 20 years... Now I'm going to be thinking about it all weekend !:yh_drool:yh_drool:yh_drool

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:49 am

If you feel yourself losing control you can always toss a Baby Ruth bar in the pool when no one's looking. :sneaky:

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Sat Jul 19, 2008 3:56 am

Accountable;921633 wrote: If you feel yourself losing control you can always toss a Baby Ruth bar in the pool when no one's looking. :sneaky:

:wah::wah::wah: a GI Joe:D

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:53 am

That neighbors pool cannot possibly be the only source of fun for you son this summer. Still be kind to the neighbors daughter. As mentioned, she is not to be blamed for her parents behavior. Is there a water park nearby, or a zoo? summer camp? picnic area? summer reading program at the library?

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Jul 19, 2008 12:25 pm

Well, if someone had called the cops on me I'd be pretty indignant too, honestly. You don't mention if you had asked them first to quiet down or if you just called the dogs on them. It does make a difference when you are in a neighborly situation.

That aside, this would be a good time to explain to your son about how not everything in life is fair.

You could do several things.

Stop allowing the neighbors' daughter in your car. (would prove a point but not recommended)

Make one more conscious effort to go talk to the people, explaining how punishing each other's kids is not a good way to get back at each other, apologize for calling the cops, whether or not you're sorry and extend the olive branch. Ask if you guys can be nieighborly for the kids' sake.

Realize it is their pool and chalk it off.