rules

[buttercup]

i have 3 teenage daughters, 19, 17 & 16 until recently they all shared a flat (apartment)

in scotland you are pretty much seen as an adult at 16, some are ready for it some are not, the youngest is in between, she struck out for her lil bit of independance in the big world & i supported her decision, she has now come back home

so i have said to her - there are house rules, she agrees & has just asked me for the list :-3 well i havent actually got that far yet

so anyway i do want to treat her as an adult as much as possible whilst still being protective

any ideas for my list of rules?

[Peg]

I can't wait to see the input on this! My son will be 18 in October. His sister, who will be 16 in November, is way more mature. He thinks 18 means he can do what he wants and I keep telling him he is in for a rude awakening.

[chonsigirl]

I have two at home still, 18 son & 19 daughter. They are both in college, and work part-time jobs to help pay for expenses. Since my husband is an invalid, I set down the rules of the house. We never seem to have any problems. My rules are kind of simple.

1. You either go to school full-time or work full-time.

2. If you go to school, I help with expenses, but you must work part-timeto help out too.

3. Socializing rules: Let me know where you are, take your cell phone with you, call in case of emergency. (the emergency usually deals with me at home if I need help with something, but it hasn't happened so far)

4. Introduce me to your friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. I'm not so bad to meet!

5. Help out with some simple household chores, since I will be working two jobs when school starts.

6. Most important rule: show lots of love to each other, we are family! And having the hard time with an invalid's schedule and needs.

[actionfigurestepho]

My parents had a similiar list of rules for me way back in the day.

If I wasn't in school, I had to pay rent. ($150-$200 a month)

No phone calls on the house phone after 9:00 at night.

I had to let them know whether I'd be in for dinner...every night.

In addition to general chore stuff I was put in charge of the animals.

[buttercup]

i love my kids, in fact i worship them, its so hard to be a mom, a single mom

i see the warts n all of them as kids, i see the warts n all of me as mom, its all about the balance between the two, its true to say the older we become the further our thoughts are from being young, we forget the pain of youth & replace it with wisdom, my 16 year old doesent have that wisdom, the only way she will find it is to make her own mistakes, i dont want her to make them but how can she grow if she doesent?

one of those cosmic questions i guess

[Nomad]

I would agree with stepho in that you should require rent. It will allow for them the preparation to becoming responsible adults. If they get a free ride and are then thrust into the "real" world they wont be fully equipped.

Im not a parent but it seems everything you provide children should be based on building their self worth, allowing enough independence to make their own mistakes then making adjustments for the next time and preparing them for success (whatever that may be for them) and I should think the earlier you start the better off they will be.

[jasmund]

-I agree with Far Rider, but also if they have lived on their own, it could be a double edged sword. They have a private life, for me though, they would be coming home at night. But a phone call shows alot of respect.



-Jasmund