New Barbie dolls...

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Sun Apr 10, 2005 9:16 am

At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to

coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic...

1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of

blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton

and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead.

Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone

levels shift, see her whiskers grow.

Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with

tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in

stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a

cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch

Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo(her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa

Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of

"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes

with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have

finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Mon Apr 11, 2005 1:57 pm

:yh_laugh

But I am not sure little girls will want to play with them.

smithy87 · Post by **smithy87** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:49 am

LOL :yh_rotfl

My friends daughter has got a pregnant Barbie!!

Porpoise · Post by **Porpoise** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 12:08 pm

Man! These would have been a lot more fun than the Barbies that we had to play with growing up!!! :wah: :-6

Zrocker · Post by **Zrocker** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 4:21 am

A man walks into a toy store looking for a Barbie for his daughter's Birthday,

He asks the sales assistant what Barbie packs they have availible,

She says that they have three barbie packs;

"First there is 'Marry me' Barbie" says the assistant,

This is $19.99,

this includes Barbie and a wedding dress,

"Next there is 'Princess Barbie'" says the assistant,

This is $24.99,

this includes Barbie dressed as a princess with a crown,

"Last of all there is 'Divorced Barbie'" replies the assistant,

This is $199.99,

"WHAT?!? Why is it that expensive?" asks the man,

"Well" says the sales assistant,

"Divorced Barbie includes Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat..."

found on

http://com4.runboard.com/bsmackdown5her ... nyfarm.t42

Lotto

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MagicZ4941A

PS Who needs a blog when you have a forum?

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 4:25 am

:wah:

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 4:33 am

I still have my original Barbie, the very first one. With her evening gown and fur-trimmed coat (from the days of political inccorectness) and the complete stewardess outfit too! I remember you had to be on a 6 month waiting list to get one, and my mom had thought ahead and ordered me one for my birthday!

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