What'd I Say?!?

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu Aug 21, 2008 7:03 pm

Help me understand, please. Why would someone state an opinion, especially in a strong way, and not want to discuss the issue - even going so far as calling any response (other than complete agreement) an "attack."

I post this knowing full well that those that fall in this category will likely not respond because they know I will try to engage in a dialog. That leaves those that really don't know to pontificate on likely theories.

It is my hope that someone that knows is willing to help me understand.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Thu Aug 21, 2008 7:10 pm

Accountable;959507 wrote: Help me understand, please. Why would someone state an opinion, especially in a strong way, and not want to discuss the issue - even going so far as calling any response (other than complete agreement) an "attack."

I post this knowing full well that those that fall in this category will likely not respond because they know I will try to engage in a dialog. That leaves those that really don't know to pontificate on likely theories.

It is my hope that someone that knows is willing to help me understand.

I absolutely disagree and do not wish to discuss this matter any further.:-2

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Thu Aug 21, 2008 7:22 pm

It's simple, grasshopper..

Intimidation.. you can stroke them by back-peddling on your position, or you can hold your position and prove they are right by not caring enough that they are feeling attacked ...

either way they win in their own warped perception...

Here's what I don't get.... why would you be bothered to have a dialog about this with them? Just state your honest opinion on whatever the subject is and leave it to them to deal with their feelings.. not your problem IMO...

Two exceptions to this:

If it's the wife, just tell her you are sorry and have no idea how you got that wild hair up your butt to cause you to disagree with her...

or

If this going to lead back to nomad and his shoe and sock thread...just plead the fifth:-2

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:02 pm

Many people dont like being challenged. If you raise ideas that make them question their core beliefs its uncomfortable. Often people are resistant to thinking outside of the box because if they have been wrong theyve been living a lie. Its easier to plant your feet firmly and deny everything.

Not knowing exactly what youre talking about this was my first impression of the scenario as I understood it.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:05 pm

Sometimes people see dialogue as a challenge, an implication that they are wrong. You see this a lot in the religion threads. And moral issues (aka abortion etc) threads. I'm not sure if you were talking about FG or outside life but I think the reason is probably the same either way.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:20 am

I'm talking about here in FG. The person that prompted the thread (I waited awhile to confuse the guessing) is someone I'd always considered quite outspoken, so I was surprised when I read that post. Since I tend to ask people why they hold the opinion they express, I reckon I have the reputation of "attacker" with some of my fellow Gardeners, if not with that particular one. Since I do attack a few (who have proven they can give as good as they get) with fair regularity I can see how that reputation could be unfairly generalized.

Post by **spot** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:50 am

You should be like me, Acc. Placid and giving, always prepared to see what parts of the other person's position offers an overlap, reluctant to use words like no or wrong. Conversation's an art.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:34 am

spot;959794 wrote: You should be like me, Acc. Placid and giving, always prepared to see what parts of the other person's position offers an overlap, reluctant to use words like no or wrong. Conversation's an art.

No.

He should be like me.

A modern day St. Dymphna.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:45 am

nobody ever attacks me...:sneaky:

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:26 am

sunny104;959876 wrote: nobody ever attacks me...:sneaky:

That's true... most folks talk about you behind your back...:p

:wah:

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:31 am

Accountable;959772 wrote: I'm talking about here in FG. The person that prompted the thread (I waited awhile to confuse the guessing) is someone I'd always considered quite outspoken, so I was surprised when I read that post. Since I tend to ask people why they hold the opinion they express, I reckon I have the reputation of "attacker" with some of my fellow Gardeners, if not with that particular one. Since I do attack a few (who have proven they can give as good as they get) with fair regularity I can see how that reputation could be unfairly generalized.

I really think we'll all feel better if you just tell them all it was me... because right now everyone is freaking and reading through old threads they disagreed with you on... you do realize that don't you?:wah:

One of us idiots is gonna have a lightbulb moment and be really embarrassed we contributed to this logical discussion..

Definitely a thread I'll need to sticky ...:sneaky:

Post by **spot** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:46 am

flopstock;959929 wrote: right now everyone is freaking and reading through old threads they disagreed with you on... you do realize that don't you?:wah:I considered it but in my case really, considering the threads he and I have shared, life's too short.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:48 pm

I thought you and Jimbo made up.

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:40 pm

Accountable;959507 wrote: Help me understand, please. Why would someone state an opinion, especially in a strong way, and not want to discuss the issue - even going so far as calling any response (other than complete agreement) an "attack."

I post this knowing full well that those that fall in this category will likely not respond because they know I will try to engage in a dialog. That leaves those that really don't know to pontificate on likely theories.

It is my hope that someone that knows is willing to help me understand.

It's because "they" simply can't back it up with facts. That's what an opinion is, a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty. Opinion: Einstein's definition of insanity.

Lon;959509 wrote: I absolutely disagree and do not wish to discuss this matter any further.

:D

flopstock;959512 wrote: It's simple, grasshopper..

Intimidation.. you can stroke them by back-peddling on your position, or you can hold your position and prove they are right by not caring enough that they are feeling attacked ... either way they win in their own warped perception...

Here's what I don't get.... why would you be bothered to have a dialog about this with them? Just state your honest opinion on whatever the subject is and leave it to them to deal with their feelings.. not your problem IMO...

Two exceptions to this:

If it's the wife, just tell her you are sorry and have no idea how you got that wild hair up your butt to cause you to disagree with her...

or

If this going to lead back to nomad and his shoe and sock thread...just plead the fifth

Yep. That's all you can do is state your point and let it go.

Accountable;959772 wrote: I'm talking about here in FG. The person that prompted the thread (I waited awhile to confuse the guessing) is someone I'd always considered quite outspoken, so I was surprised when I read that post. Since I tend to ask people why they hold the opinion they express, I reckon I have the reputation of "attacker" with some of my fellow Gardeners, if not with that particular one. Since I do attack a few (who have proven they can give as good as they get) with fair regularity I can see how that reputation could be unfairly generalized.

You didn't wait long enough... likely, I would've guessed anyway, though. I believe I know precisely who you speak of and recall the post, which you handled expertly, I must say... and it'll drive you nuts trying to convince them to see your point so that they can grow. That's how I see it... not as an attack, by any means... although, I'm certain that I won't be able to convince them otherwise, either. You're a teacher and your tendency is to teach, as well. Anyway, I'm open to discussion and debate, but if all another is going to offer is their opinion... it means nothing to me... opinions are worthless. There's a very relevant signature regarding this around here somewhere, btw...

spot;959794 wrote: You should be like me, Acc. Placid and giving, always prepared to see what parts of the other person's position offers an overlap, reluctant to use words like no or wrong. Conversation's an art.

Yes... 'cept for the first part. :wah:

sunny104;959876 wrote: nobody ever attacks me...:sneaky:

:rolleyes:

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 4:56 pm

Who's having words with you Accountable....this thread is very cryptic....:-3

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:00 pm

Kathy Ellen;960705 wrote: Who's having words with you Accountable....this thread is very cryptic....:-3

How can he answer that? He knows and the person that inspired the thread is aware of the thread... that's all that matters. Accountable is handling it in a diplomatic manner, and it's a valid topic of discussion, in general.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:01 pm

someone just say sorry and move on!

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:03 pm

G-man;960709 wrote: How can he answer that? He knows and the person that inspired the thread is aware of the thread... that's all that matters. Accountable is handling it in a diplomatic manner, and it's a valid topic of discussion, in general.

That's all that matters.....? I can't ask a question:-2

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:06 pm

Kathy Ellen;960712 wrote: That's all that matters.....? I can't ask a question:-2

Sure you can... ,but why name names, though when all that it will likely do is embarrass or cause conflict? Why is it any of our business who the person in question is?

Odie;960710 wrote: someone just say sorry and move on!

There's no need for an apology on anyone's part, Accountable is simply wanting an answer to his OP: "Why would someone state an opinion, especially in a strong way, and not want to discuss the issue?"

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:09 pm

Kathy Ellen;960712 wrote: That's all that matters.....? I can't ask a question:-2

I'd still like Accountable to answer my question, not anyone else, since my question was directed to him. I'm just trying to understand what's going on..

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:13 pm

I believe that Accountable was very clear on not wanting to name names publicly, and rightly so.

"Why would someone state an opinion, especially in a strong way, and not want to discuss the issue?"

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:14 pm

This is an open forum , and if a question is asked, I can also ask what's going on....I'm not looking for gossip or naming names......I'm asking Acc a question so please let him answer it....thanks

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:18 pm

Kathy Ellen;960731 wrote: This is an open forum , and if a question is asked, I can also ask what's going on....I'm not looking for gossip or naming names......I'm asking Acc a question so please let him answer it....thanks

You're welcome to your opinion.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:20 pm

Kathy Ellen;960705 wrote: Who's having words with you Accountable....this thread is very cryptic....:-3

Let me rephrase my question.....Sorry...just realized that I did say "who" and not "what's wrong" Is that better?

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:22 pm

G-man;960740 wrote: You're welcome to your opinion.

It's not an opinion Gman....geeze, I just asked a question....

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:32 pm

G-man;960688 wrote: You didn't wait long enough... likely, I would've guessed anyway, though. I believe I know precisely who you speak of and recall the post, which you handled expertly, I must say... and it'll drive you nuts trying to convince them to see your point so that they can grow. That's how I see it... not as an attack, by any means... although, I'm certain that I won't be able to convince them otherwise, either. You're a teacher and your tendency is to teach, as well. Anyway, I'm open to discussion and debate, but if all another is going to offer is their opinion... it means nothing to me... opinions are worthless. There's a very relevant signature regarding this around here somewhere, btw...
Actually I don't think I even participated in the thread that has the post I'm referring to. Not even sure I could find it now. Someone said they don't post their opinions here because opinions tend to get attacked here, or something to that effect. I figure if one person feels strongly enough to post such a statement, then others probably feel the same. And since I tend to probe, I figure I've stepped on someone's toes and they left without telling me.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:34 pm

Kathy Ellen;960705 wrote: Who's having words with you Accountable....this thread is very cryptic....:-3
Oh there's several very public hot debates going on right now, but nothing that concerns this subject.

It was kinda fun reading the exchange between you & G, though. :yh_giggle

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:37 pm

Accountable;960750 wrote: Oh there's several very public hot debates going on right now, but nothing that concerns this subject.

It was kinda fun reading the exchange between you & G, though. :yh_giggle

Excuse me pal, but I answered you direct and to the point... are you unwilling to have a dialog on it??:sneaky:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:41 pm

flopstock;960753 wrote: Excuse me pal, but I answered you direct and to the point... are you unwilling to have a dialog on it??:sneaky:

:D
I can never discuss positions with you because you always pull out that Kama Sutra book. :yh_blush

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:41 pm

Kathy Ellen;960743 wrote: It's not an opinion Gman....geeze, I just asked a question....

A question that I simply responded to above, based upon what Accountable posted here, in which he clearly stated that he didn't want to name names, going so far as to wait before posting this thread so that we won't try guessing whom he's referring to.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:43 pm

Accountable;960757 wrote: I can never discuss positions with you because you always pull out that Kama Sutra book. :yh_blush
win/win though... aint it babe?:sneaky::wah:

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:44 pm

Accountable;960748 wrote: Actually I don't think I even participated in the thread that has the post I'm referring to...

So there's more? Not to be nosy, or anything... :wah:

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:56 pm

Accountable;960750 wrote: Oh there's several very public hot debates going on right now, but nothing that concerns this subject.

It was kinda fun reading the exchange between you & G, though. :yh_giggle

Thanks for answering my question Accountable....I didn't think that you had words with someone, and that's why I asked the question. I had thought that you had read a post from someone who doesn't come here too often and voiced their opinion.....I'll pm the post that I think you're talking about to you now.......not sure if this is the post in question, but I think it might be.

btw.....this is not directed to you Accountable, but there are quite a few members here who do not post their opinions because they are immediately shot down. No everyone has debating skills and get so sick of trying to prove every thought that they have....and that is my opinion:wah:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:08 pm

fuzzy butt;960767 wrote: you know i almost had this thread worked out then someone threw a "the Karma Sutra" in and now i'm confused again:-5:wah::wah:
I usually get a cramp in my thigh. :-3

TheNewDG · Post by **TheNewDG** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:16 pm

What is wrong with you???

Opinions are like @$$holes...

You cant have an opinion on FG!

You are a slave to niceties to newbies!

Are you kidding me!'

I am just kidding...

My guess?

They probably arent "efficient" in "debate" or "argumentative challenges" so thats why...

It sucks but sometimes, those people dont know how to answer so they call it an "attack".

Now where is the thread so I can judge???? Hee Hee!:guitarist

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:27 pm

*putting my feet up to rest*

Well, my opinion is I deserve resting now that I have gone back to work this week getting my classroom ready. And now that I think of it, AC and Kathy do too. I am very strong in my opinion about this, I think my room looks the best!:D

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:34 pm

JAB;960761 wrote: Seeing as how I'm not a master debater nor am I a Rhodes scholar, 49 years worth of opinions is all I've got.

If you're a member of this forum, you'd be hard-pressed not to have at least a few of your posts challenged. To me, that's when the fun and learning begins.

:D *runs off in search of some of her posts* :sneaky:

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:40 pm

Accountable;960748 wrote: Actually I don't think I even participated in the thread that has the post I'm referring to. Not even sure I could find it now. Someone said they don't post their opinions here because opinions tend to get attacked here, or something to that effect. I figure if one person feels strongly enough to post such a statement, then others probably feel the same. And since I tend to probe, I figure I've stepped on someone's toes and they left without telling me.

I am fairly certain of that last part, as I've seen some of your heated debates... however, I'm not buying for a moment that your memory is suddenly failing... *ahem* :wah:

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 8:38 pm

Kathy Ellen;960764 wrote: Thanks for answering my question Accountable....I didn't think that you had words with someone, and that's why I asked the question. I had thought that you had read a post from someone who doesn't come here too often and voiced their opinion.....I'll pm the post that I think you're talking about to you now.......not sure if this is the post in question, but I think it might be.

btw.....this is not directed to you Accountable, but there are quite a few members here who do not post their opinions because they are immediately shot down. No everyone has debating skills and get so sick of trying to prove every thought that they have....and that is my opinion:wah:

this is exactly why i try to avoid having an opinion...

:wah:

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 10:24 pm

flopstock;960831 wrote: this is exactly why i try to avoid having an opinion...

:wah:

:wah::wah:Woops Sorry:wah::wah:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:21 am

G-man;960688 wrote: You didn't wait long enough... likely, I would've guessed anyway, though. I believe I know precisely who you speak of and recall the post, which you handled expertly, I must say... and it'll drive you nuts trying to convince them to see your point so that they can grow. [...]:rolleyes:
Thank you.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:23 am

chonsigirl;960783 wrote: *putting my feet up to rest*

Well, my opinion is I deserve resting now that I have gone back to work this week getting my classroom ready. And now that I think of it, AC and Kathy do too. I am very strong in my opinion about this, I think my room looks the best!:D
Me too.

:o I'm headed back in in a little while to finish up.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:19 am

This made me stop to think, whenever I come across a post I find interesting I just lob in my opinion, I never stop to think that someone may take offense to it, or that it is argumentative.

So if I have ever offended anyone with my responses I would like to say that I am very, very,.... oh hell don’t be so sensitive