Should You Be Nice To People Who Are Not Nice To You?

Post by **jones jones** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:09 am

people often ask me why i keep treating people who are nasty to me with kindness ¦ well i believe we should all treat others with kindness ¦ when someone is rude ... or nasty ... or is really aggressive... the best thing to do is smile and fall all over yourself being nice ¦ nothing makes rude and nasty people more frustrated ...

so i am generally always polite and use good manners ... out of respect for the human race i try to be nice to everyone¦ if i run across the occasional ass h . le ... i just let it roll off and keep smiling ... if there is someone i see that doesn’t have a smile ¦ i'll just give them one of mine¦ they are a dime a dozen ...

of course there are always gonna be some people who see kindness and being nice as stupidity ¦ or as a weakness and try to take advantage of you ¦

so what?

it’s just the way I am and I can't change ¦

mwaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Jj:-4

Post by **jones jones** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:17 am

grecianurn;961207 wrote: "the best thing to do is smile and fall all over yourself being nice ¦ nothing makes rude and nasty people more frustrated ... "

But that's not nice!

;)

but perhaps slightly better than "a kick in the nuts?"

Post by **jones jones** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:21 am

jimbo;961212 wrote: i try to be nice to every one i really do

but sometimes if you ignore someone being nasty it just goes on and on and on

its nice to be nice jj and it costs nothing ,but some people hate nice they dont know how to be nice so they try to make you nasty so you are like them if you let them they win

another great post my friend:-6

i did take your advice before ,someone really hated me and i did not know why and i read your post about they wanted to laugh and joke but did not know how they were jealous so when she got nasty i did what i do best i laughed and joked and she got more nasty so i laughed more ,she got so nasty she got banned ... who is laughing now my friend thanks for that :wah::wah:

you do whatever floats your boat jimbo my buddy!! :wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:31 am

If people are not nice to me, I am not going to waste my energy in being nice back.

and to ignore them, they just come back with something else.

no time for people like that.

I give out care and respect, and I deserve it back.

Post by **jones jones** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:34 am

Odie;961224 wrote: If people are not nice to me, I am not going to waste my energy in being nice back.

and to ignore them, they just come back with something else.

no time for people like that.

I give out care and respect, and I deserve it back.

jeez ... i wish i could be savage like you odie!! :-5

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:54 am

I try and be nice to everyone, regardless of how they may treat me. However, I also believe that it's not nice to use "nice" as an aggressive weapon against those who are not nice back to you, just in order to "frustrate" them. That's not very nice at all.

It is also not very nice to pretend to be nice in order to manipulate others. Ted Bundy was a very nice person and using his niceness, attracted, raped and murdered a number of vulnerable, young women.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 10:33 am

Most people are pretty nice to me............to my face, anyway. If someone does get rude or nasty, I make eye contact, hold it, say nothing, and give them a moment to cool off or reconsider what they just said. That usually works.

Attached files

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:15 am

You know i have always heard "KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS" I don't know if it works or not?

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:53 am

Yes, I'm nice to everyone!!:yh_battin:yh_angel

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:54 am

Never burn bridges, you never know when it will come back around.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:56 am

mikeinie;961355 wrote: Never burn bridges, you never know when it will come back around.

Plus other people need to drive on them......:p

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:59 am

WonderWendy3;961358 wrote: Plus other people need to drive on them......:p

Hi WW3, we haven't spoken in ages, I hope that all is well.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:02 pm

mikeinie;961359 wrote: Hi WW3, we haven't spoken in ages, I hope that all is well.

Hiya Mike, I'm still having some difficulties, but its getting a bit better and I'm thankful to be breathing! So, all is well!!

How is the new job?

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:04 pm

WonderWendy3;961362 wrote: Hiya Mike, I'm still having some difficulties, but its getting a bit better and I'm thankful to be breathing! So, all is well!!

How is the new job?

So far so good, busy, but so far a lot less stress.

Also, started swimming in the morning before work, I have lost 4Kg so far. Feeling good.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:12 pm

mikeinie;961365 wrote: So far so good, busy, but so far a lot less stress.

Also, started swimming in the morning before work, I have lost 4Kg so far. Feeling good.

AWESOME!! I'm very happy for you! Way to go!:)

Trunk Monkey · Post by **Trunk Monkey** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:16 pm

My answer is yes to this question. You never know what the other person is going through in their life. I just smile at them and for all you know, that's the only smile they've received

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:56 pm

If they're not nice to me I ignore them.

Post by **jones jones** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 1:10 pm

abbey;961400 wrote: If they're not nice to me I ignore them.

me too ...

mwaaaaaaaaah!

Jj:-4

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 1:10 pm

Odie;961224 wrote: If people are not nice to me, I am not going to waste my energy in being nice back.

and to ignore them, they just come back with something else.

no time for people like that.

I give out care and respect, and I deserve it back.

I have to agree with Odie here. I guess it goes case by case, maybe there's a good reason why someone is a jerk to someone but I agree- I'm not going to give my care and respect to anyone who can't provide same for me.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:22 pm

jones jones;961227 wrote: jeez ... i wish i could be savage like you odie!! :-5

far from savage...........I don't bite!.....but I have no time for ignorance!

Doesn't matter what people are going through in life, I despise that excuse, I to have my own problems

and I am really nice to everyone! Its just called respect and courtesy, its not hard!

I am not someones punching bag!

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:26 pm

jones jones;961410 wrote: me too ...

mwaaaaaaaaah!

Jj:rolleyes:

Well, which one is it? :-3

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:37 pm

I treat others the way they treat me.:-6

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:38 pm

mrsK;961472 wrote: I treat others the way they treat me.:-6

bag!:wah::wah::wah:

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:40 pm

I ignore people who are rude to me and apologize immediately if I realize that I'm rude to others. I understand why people are rude at time, but you have to cop onto yourself and apologize....:-6

pinkchick · Post by **pinkchick** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:50 pm

JJ- I think we should be nice to people whether they are nice to us or not....If someone doesn't like you and you've always been nice to them - then the problem is theirs not yours....It may stick in your throat but in my experience....9 times out of 10 it's the right thing to do...

It's not always the easiest thing to do but if you give it your best shot then at least you've tried...right?

:-6

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 3:01 pm

Kathy Ellen;961478 wrote: I ignore people who are rude to me and apologize immediately if I realize that I'm rude to others. I understand why people are rude at time, but you have to cop onto yourself and apologize....:-6

Well said, Kathy Ellen!

I am the same way (not just sayin' that, either :p ) I even try to immediately apologize based on another's reaction, regardless of my intention.

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 3:23 pm

G-man;961503 wrote: Well said, Kathy Ellen!

I am the same way (not just sayin' that, either :p ) I even try to immediately apologize based on another's reaction, regardless of my intention.

I like a man who apologizes Gman:wah::wah::wah: shows good character:D

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:21 pm

but there are those who have no clue how to treat people. i often wonder what happen in their lives to make them so mean or rude.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:25 pm

jones jones;961200 wrote: people often ask me why i keep treating people who are nasty to me with kindness ¦ well i believe we should all treat others with kindness ¦ when someone is rude ... or nasty ... or is really aggressive... the best thing to do is smile and fall all over yourself being nice ¦ nothing makes rude and nasty people more frustrated ...

so i am generally always polite and use good manners ... out of respect for the human race i try to be nice to everyone¦ if i run across the occasional ass h . le ... i just let it roll off and keep smiling ... if there is someone i see that doesn’t have a smile ¦ i'll just give them one of mine¦ they are a dime a dozen ...

of course there are always gonna be some people who see kindness and being nice as stupidity ¦ or as a weakness and try to take advantage of you ¦

so what?

it’s just the way I am and I can't change ¦

mwaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Jj:-4

Not me---------If someone is nasty and not nice to me I delight in thinking up ways to f---k them up good.

cars · Post by **cars** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:27 pm

Some live by the rule: Do unto others before they do unto you! :wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:28 pm

cars;961543 wrote: Some live by the rule: Do unto others before they do unto you! :wah:

only do it first and better!:wah:

Pinky · Post by **Pinky** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 7:38 pm

Well, I try not to be the instigator of rudeness, but once someone says something nasty to me, the sarcasm tends to be unleashed before I can stop myself from talking.

On a positive note, this often makes them shut up pretty fast, as when I'm really on form, I can make the most arrogant person feel a total pleb. Again, on a postive note, not many people really attempt to p1ss me off anymore!:wah:

I never get annoyed at them, or show it (ok, very rarely) as I wouldn't want anyone like that thinking they bother me in the first place.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:50 pm

I have just seen something that has told me that a member here that I have always been nice to and have always had the highest respect for has showed me that they dont return this.It dosen't matter how this has been shown or indeed who it is as that is for me to know and them to realise if they read this but sometimes yes we do need a kick up the back side to see things as they really are sometimes.Its healthy and also words may not be said about a situation between two people, both parties know the SP and now that I know something I had no knowledge of before ......any feelings I had for this person now cease as a one horse race is not my style.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 3:50 am

jones jones;961200 wrote: people often ask me why i keep treating people who are nasty to me with kindness … well i believe we should all treat others with kindness … when someone is rude ... or nasty ... or is really aggressive... the best thing to do is smile and fall all over yourself being nice … nothing makes rude and nasty people more frustrated ...

so i am generally always polite and use good manners ... out of respect for the human race i try to be nice to everyone… if i run across the occasional ass h . le ... i just let it roll off and keep smiling ... if there is someone i see that doesn’t have a smile … i'll just give them one of mine… they are a dime a dozen ...

of course there are always gonna be some people who see kindness and being nice as stupidity … or as a weakness and try to take advantage of you …

so what?

it’s just the way I am and I can't change …

mwaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Jj:-4

Were you not rude / challenging to 99th monkey? I dont remember you being nice to him.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 5:27 am

Kathy Ellen;961526 wrote: I like a man who apologizes Gman:wah::wah::wah: shows good character:D

let me know if you see any!:D

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:47 am

I am always nice to people and always have been. As is my other half.

But I find that nowadays other people are rarely nice. They say 'no good deed goes unpunished' and I'm starting to believe that that's true! People that you're nice to seem to end up just walking all over you, treating you like sh1t and wiping their feet on you. I look at all the managers where my other half works and they are all, without exception, total a***holes! And you know why they're so sh1tty? Because sh1t floats! Thats how they get to the top! :-5

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:57 am

Lon;961542 wrote: Not me---------If someone is nasty and not nice to me I delight in thinking up ways to f---k them up good.

I have 3 situations which I would dearly love to sort out. They are all situations I have become involved in, none of which are of my making. I would love it if you would like to think up some way 'to f---k them up good.' I want to do something which will not land me in prison or in trouble with the police but which will grant me a very satisfying revenge on some exceedingly nasty people!

Are ya up for it? :sneaky:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 7:04 am

It depends.

If you were approaching a group of gang bangers probably at least one of them having a gun in their pants nice may or may not work.

An I see you and dont mess with me look are more likely to give you the respect you need to get out of there safely.

Always respectful though.

Post by **jones jones** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 7:35 am

buttercup;961783 wrote: Were you not rude / challenging to 99th monkey? I dont remember you being nice to him.

hi buttercup ... i do believe ... although i am not 100% certain ... that this is the extent of my "interaction" with the 99th monkey ...

after my initial post we corresponded ... albeit in a very abbreviated manner ... but amicably enough ... via the Forum Garden messaging system ...

however if you do not recall me specifically being "nice" to him ... than most likely i was not ... in that case i apologise to him and thank you very much for bringing this to my attention ...

Jj :-4

Originally Posted by 99th Monkey Hello I am the 99th Monkey, hopefully the 100th Monkey could be some of you..I'm here and all over the net using many persona's, all I want out of life is Love, so I plant seeds of imagination to fulfill my ego.. not necessarily for you to consciously understand or agree with but more to subconsiously connect you to the uni-versal consciousness of ONE.. I prefer to speak with those who know themselves better than their ego......Think of me what you will.. but haters be warned your deppresion does not effect me...all my love

all you want out of life is love so you plant seeds of imagination to fulfill your ego? ... to fulfill your inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others ?

explain please ... i do not understand ...

hopefully the 100th Monkey could be some of you..

or are you just taking the p -- s?

Jj

Quote:

Originally Posted by jones jones all you want out of life is love so you plant seeds of imagination to fulfill your ego? ... to fulfill your inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others ?explain please ... i do not understand ...hopefully the 100th Monkey could be some of you..or are you just taking the p -- s? Jj

The ego is the centre of consciousness. It is identity. It is 'I', read Carl Jung and do not mistake me for someone who is superior than others, I am not the Archetype of your imagination nor am I negative...

100 Monkeys is positive not negative, I suggest you do more reading and take an holiday to release you stress..

Man! what a welcome

generalise:

to infer or form (a general principle, opinion, conclusion, etc.) from only a few facts, examples, or the like.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 99th Monkey You evil witches

hey! are you not the reincarnation of rjwould who appears to have vanished

without trace?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jones jones hey! are you not the reincarnation of rjwould who appears to have vanished without trace?

Did he vanish 39 years ago ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by 99th Monkey Did he vanish 39 years ago ?

feels like it ... yes!

Quote:Originally Posted by jones jones feels like it ... yes!

It sounds like you were close.. I hope you can get in touch somehow..

Re: Monkey Sad

okay ... let's cut thru the crap monkey 99 ...

you been here before dude ... you know it and i know it ...

i suspect in your previous incarnation here you had a big "issue" with

moderators .. just a gut feel ...

or else why this tombstone/moderator signature ...

and why is georgia the only "hope" thing?

Re: Monkey Sad

Quote:

Originally Posted by jones jones okay ... let's cut thru the crap monkey 99 ... you been here before dude ... you know it and i know it ...i suspect in your previous incarnation here you had a big "issue" with moderators .. just a gut feel ...or else why this tombstone/moderator signature ...and why is georgia the only "hope" thing?

I don't think you would make a good Sherlock Holmes

I like all the moderators and none moderators very much

The only big Issue I have is a magazine

Hope is the only person named Hope on fg, I have no idea about Georgia...

Be well and be good and let not that be misunderstood

Re: Monkey Sad

Quote:

Originally Posted by 99th Monkey I don't think you would make a good Sherlock Holmes I like all the moderators and none moderators very much The only big Issue I have is a magazine Hope is the only person named Hope on fg, I have no idea about Georgia...Be well and be good and let not that be misunderstood

monkey ... i believe that every person on FG has the right to their opinion ... it is

their right ... so you are fully entitled to have your say ... as i am too ...

however ... and this is only my humble opinion ... your search for the 100th

monkey is to me simply your way of staying in the mix so to speak ...

so if you wanna be part of this forum ... why not just participate like everyone

else?

why the cryptic stuff?

why the weird signature?

Re: Monkey Sad

Quote:

Originally Posted by jones jones 1, why not just participate like everyone else?2, why the cryptic stuff? 3, why the weird signature?

Good questions so they deserve an answer,

1, I do not concentrate on how I participate,

2, I am who I am I can be no other and I am not cryptic all of the time, in fact I can be very straight to the point...

3, The signature was a plot I was creating, basically I was taking the fact that 21 out of 40 most common posters are mods, sorry for the juxtaposition..

LilLaura · Post by **LilLaura** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 4:04 am

Usually I'm always nice to someone if I meet him or her for the first time but as soon as they prove to me that they idiots I either walk away or treat them the same way they treat me. Had some bad experience with some people so that might the reason for it.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:18 am

no!

I'm nice to everyone but if someone isn't nice to me then I don't bother with them anymore.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:35 am

when you have a sarcastic or rude boss. i am sure most of us have had. when i was younger i would just cry. BUT NOW. Look out i am going through the CHANGE:mad:They may DIE!!!!!!:sneaky::wah:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:50 am

If anyone ever thought I was rude to them it's only because I was trying to be funny or flippant and it didn't work. Except for Jimbo and Barmanutkicker.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Sun Oct 19, 2008 8:24 pm

Lon;961542 wrote: Not me---------If someone is nasty and not nice to me I delight in thinking up ways to f---k them up good.

Ya know what I love about you Lon:-4... I actually think you are being completely honest..:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl