One For The Ladies ... Again!

Post by **jones jones** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:27 am

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two years have been hell! Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that’s the last straw.

Last week you came home and didn’t even notice that I had gone and had my hair cut, cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your favourite soap opera. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want sex or anything. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore, whatever the case is, I’m gone.

Your Ex-Husband.

PS Don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving to British Columbia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. Its true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soap operas so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.

I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to mind was “you look like a girl! but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say anything nice. And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning. And your silk boxers were $49.99. After all this. I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with your letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Rich As Hell and Free Ex-Wife.

PS I don’t know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:32 am

:wah::wah:

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:23 pm

:yh_rotfl

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 4:30 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Thanks Jj, I needed the laugh!