feeling panicky

[Victoria]

I'm feeling a bit panicky today.. ON Sunday I'm leaving... moving well kinda.

For the time being I'm moving in with my MIL helping to take care of her, she has alzhiemers.

The plan is that when she eventually has to go into a nursing home we will stay in England and buy a home of our own.

OH has been there on and off for 3 years now so he is used to it. Our house is for sale and my daughter and the estate agent will take care of things here.

I just have to pack what clothes I want to take and get the dogs ready for the move.

But I just cant seem to get going the case is half packed and I'm trying to give the house a good clean but I find myself wandering around aimlessly and feeling a sense of panick.

Its not even as if I'm going somewhere strange I used to live in that area 20 years ago but I think thats part of the problem going back, it doesn't feel right somehow.

Ive always believed in moving forward I don't look back when I move on. I just move onward

Its nothing I can put my finger on just a panicky feeling ..I keep having to take deep breaths and fighting back the tears.

I suppose it will be ok. Once I'm there, once I get into a routine,but right now I'm not a happy bunny...

I have moved so often and I've never felt like this I know its not the house, that was always intended as a 10 year plan never a place to stay in forever, I don't have a fantastic job or hoards of close friends I'm going to miss so I don't know why I feel so torn..

[Nomad]

Victoria;993607 wrote: For the time being I'm moving in with my MIL helping to take care of her, she has alzhiemers.


A MILF with Alzheimers.

Well.....ok !

[Lon]

Victoria;993607 wrote: I'm feeling a bit panicky today.. ON Sunday I'm leaving... moving well kinda.

For the time being I'm moving in with my MIL helping to take care of her, she has alzhiemers.

The plan is that when she eventually has to go into a nursing home we will stay in England and buy a home of our own.

OH has been there on and off for 3 years now so he is used to it. Our house is for sale and my daughter and the estate agent will take care of things here.

I just have to pack what clothes I want to take and get the dogs ready for the move.

But I just cant seem to get going the case is half packed and I'm trying to give the house a good clean but I find myself wandering around aimlessly and feeling a sense of panick.



Its not even as if I'm going somewhere strange I used to live in that area 20 years ago but I think thats part of the problem going back, it doesn't feel right somehow.

Ive always believed in moving forward I don't look back when I move on. I just move onward

Its nothing I can put my finger on just a panicky feeling ..I keep having to take deep breaths and fighting back the tears.

I suppose it will be ok. Once I'm there, once I get into a routine,but right now I'm not a happy bunny...

I have moved so often and I've never felt like this I know its not the house, that was always intended as a 10 year plan never a place to stay in forever, I don't have a fantastic job or hoards of close friends I'm going to miss so I don't know why I feel so torn..


I think that if I were moving back to anyplace that I had lived before, I might just feel a sense of panic, plus, to aid in the care of a MIL with Al:-5

[Odie]

I would feel panicked also, your uprooting your life, moving and to care for someone.................

[SuzyB]

Change is always scary, what you are feeling is normal. Could you rent your house where you are now rather than sell, that way you have the option to go back if things don't work out.

Caring for someone is very hard at the best of times, let alone someone with alzhiemers, I know someone whose Mum has it, she went missing for 36 hours, she was found 11 miles away, she had soiled herself and her feet were cut to pieces, she is a real danger to herself now I think they are trying to get her into a nursing home but the ridiculous prices are out of their modest reach

If I was you I would rent your propertyfor 6 months and just see how it goes, that way nothing is set in stone. Where in the Uk are you going?:)

[shelbell]

Probably the thought of having to deal with the SIL has got to do with your anxieties. I agree with others here, rent your home out and if things don't work out, you have a home to return to. It's always nice to have a safety net...it takes some of the stress off and the finality of it all will be less of an issue. :-6

[Odie]

shelbell;994396 wrote: Probably the thought of having to deal with the SIL has got to do with your anxieties. I agree with others here, rent your home out and if things don't work out, you have a home to return to. It's always nice to have a safety net...it takes some of the stress off and the finality of it all will be less of an issue. :-6


great idea Shelbell!...............back up plans are a good idea with these sort of things.

[mrsK]

shelbell;994396 wrote: Probably the thought of having to deal with the SIL has got to do with your anxieties. I agree with others here, rent your home out and if things don't work out, you have a home to return to. It's always nice to have a safety net...it takes some of the stress off and the finality of it all will be less of an issue. :-6


Very sound advice Shel.

Always have a backup plan with situations like this:-6

[Victoria]

Thanks for all the replies.

Sadly renting the house out is not an option ,(too complicated to explain crazy Dutch tax).

last night I talked to OH and his reply was this, If I really don't want to go then he understands and they will try to find another solution or view it as a temp live in job / holiday with family and then if after a couple of months I really don't like it he will give up his job and move back here with me.

We will then downsize here instead of doing it in England as planned.

I must say that makes me feel slightly better. but a bit guilty.

MIL lives in Surrey and our evt plans are/were to live in west Sussex.

Said goodbye to the last of my home help clients this morning, shes written me a reference in her best English (!). Sweet lady I saw her waving til I drove out of the street..

OH arrives tonight and then we have a couple of days to talk and get ready before leaving on Sunday?

[Odie]

Sounds like its something you really do not wanna do.............and that makes things even worse....................tis a shame.



good luck!