Jimbo's best worst jokes

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:17 am

jimbo;584592 wrote: :p :p

you been talking to suzy aint ya

I'll never tell

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:23 am

jimbo wise guy and fisher were comparing wives ,jimbo my wife is so stupid she got a new cooker and she cant cook

wise guy ,my wife is so stupid she got a new car and she cant drive

fisher, my wife is so stupid she is going on holiday with her girlie's she is taking 50 condoms and she aint got a d1ck :wah: :wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:26 am

[QUOTE=jimbo;584607]jimbo wise guy and fisher were comparing wives ,jimbo my wife is so stupid she got a new cooker and she cant cook

wise guy ,my wife is so stupid she got a new car and she cant drive

fisher, my wife is so stupid she is going on holiday with her girlie's she is taking 50 condoms and she aint got a d1ck QUOTE]

:yh_youkid :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:27 am

jimbo;584607 wrote: jimbo wise guy and fisher were comparing wives ,jimbo my wife is so stupid she got a new cooker and she cant cook

wise guy ,my wife is so stupid she got a new car and she cant drive

fisher, my wife is so stupid she is going on holiday with her girlie's she is taking 50 condoms and she aint got a d1ck :wah: :wah:

:wah: :wah: She forgot the tax's to. lol

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:29 am

A man is sitting on a bench in the park reading a newspaper. Suddenly he throws the paper onto the ground and yells, “All politicians are *ssholes.

Jimbo sitting next to him in a finely pressed suit says, “I take offense to that!

The pissed-off guy asks him, “Why? Are you a politician?

“No," Jimbo replies, "I'm an *sshole. :wah: :wah: :wah:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:31 am

fisher;584619 wrote: A man is sitting on a bench in the park reading a newspaper. Suddenly he throws the paper onto the ground and yells, “All politicians are *ssholes.

Jimbo sitting next to him in a finely pressed suit says, “I take offense to that!

The pissed-off guy asks him, “Why? Are you a politician?

“No," Jimbo replies, "I'm an *sshole.

fantastic :wah::wah::wah:

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:39 am

One day, Jimbo went diving and was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.

Jimbo went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. Then Jimbo went below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joined him.

This confused Jimbo, so he took out a waterproof pad and pencil, and wrote, "Amazing! How are you able to stay this deep down without equipment?"

The guy took the pencil and pad, erased what the Jimbo had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

911 · Post by **911** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:54 am

What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?

Thanks for the refill

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 8:55 am

Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?

A: So she could use it as a mirror.

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:11 am

Jimbo walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

Jimbo said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.

"Well," Jimbo said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:19 am

fisher;584656 wrote: Jimbo walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

Jimbo said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.

"Well," Jimbo said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."

:wah: :wah:

911 · Post by **911** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:21 am

Why did Jimbo put rabbits on his head?

Someone said that from a distance they looked like hairs!

:D

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:21 am

Jimbo's watch stopped. He thinks he down a quartz.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:28 am

a guy that was a bit like fisher but not him :rolleyes:

was walking through town ,he saw the doctor ,doc says wahats wrong mr f ,well doc says mr f its the wife i cant satifiey her any more sexually its really upsetting me ,,,

doc ,mr f do you smoke ??

mr f no doc

doc ,mr f are you overweight ??

mr f , no doc

doc ,do you drink ??

mr f yes quite a lot

doc well if its cider you drink thats your problem its well known for shrinking the sexual organs

mr f yes doc it is cider i drink

doc ,well cut back on the cider all will be well, come and see me in two weeks

2 weeks later

doc how is the old sex life mr f

mr f fine doc could not be happier we are like two teenagers again

doc so you gave up drinking cider then mr f

mr f , no way i got the wife drinking it

:p :p

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:33 am

jimbo;584677 wrote: a guy that was a bit like fisher but not him :rolleyes:

was walking through town ,he saw the doctor ,doc says wahats wrong mr f ,well doc says mr f its the wife i cant satifiey her any more sexually its really upsetting me ,,,

doc ,mr f do you smoke ??

mr f no doc

doc ,mr f are you overweight ??

mr f , no doc

doc ,do you drink ??

mr f yes quite a lot

doc well if its cider you drink thats your problem its well known for shrinking the sexual organs

mr f yes doc it is cider i drink

doc ,well cut back on the cider all will be well, come and see me in two weeks

2 weeks later

doc how is the old sex life mr f

mr f fine doc could not be happier we are like two teenagers again

doc so you gave up drinking cider then mr f

mr f , no way i got the wife drinking it

:p :p

:wah: I will have to keep this in mind. lol

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:48 am

Jimbo is looking in the classified ads for a job. He notices an advertisement for a toothbrush salesman and figured that couldn''t be such a bad job. So, he calls in, he goes in and they hire him. The next day, he heads out to a neighborhood to make some sales. Five hours later he comes home and says, “Man, I only sold one toothbrush. That''s not enough

So the next day jimbo goes to a richer neighborhood, thinking maybe those people would buy more toothbrushes. He ends up selling two toothbrushes. So he goes to his boss for advice and his boss says, “Look, you''re a great guy and all, but you gotta come up with a gimmick or something.

So, Jimbo thinks about it and, later that night, he finally comes up with one.

So the next day, he sets up a booth near the subway with a sign that says “Free chips and dip A guy walks over and puts the chip in the dip and says, “This tastes like ****.

And Jimbo replied, “Yeah, it is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:00 am

fisher;584692 wrote: Jimbo is looking in the classified ads for a job. He notices an advertisement for a toothbrush salesman and figured that couldn''t be such a bad job. So, he calls in, he goes in and they hire him. The next day, he heads out to a neighborhood to make some sales. Five hours later he comes home and says, “Man, I only sold one toothbrush. That''s not enough

So the next day jimbo goes to a richer neighborhood, thinking maybe those people would buy more toothbrushes. He ends up selling two toothbrushes. So he goes to his boss for advice and his boss says, “Look, you''re a great guy and all, but you gotta come up with a gimmick or something.

So, Jimbo thinks about it and, later that night, he finally comes up with one.

So the next day, he sets up a booth near the subway with a sign that says “Free chips and dip A guy walks over and puts the chip in the dip and says, “This tastes like ****.

And Jimbo replied, “Yeah, it is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?

:wah: :wah:

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:14 am

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long.

"Let me show you," says the captain.

He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.

"This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."

The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.

"Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"

"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."

"Why not Thursday?"

"That's your day in the barrel."

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:22 am

fisher;584702 wrote: A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long.

"Let me show you," says the captain.

He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.

"This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."

The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.

"Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"

"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."

"Why not Thursday?"

"That's your day in the barrel."

hey wise guy today is thursday ,what you doing on fg ,you got work to do :wah:

fisher · Post by **fisher** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:25 am

jimbo;584707 wrote: hey wise guy today is thursday ,what you doing on fg ,you got work to do :wah:

There's no way we would both fit in that barrel Jimbo. :wah:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:28 am

fisher;584709 wrote: There's no way we would both fit in that barrel Jimbo. :wah:

:wah: :wah: