I'm really sad about all the stuff that's happened. I've lost one FGer too who I regarded as a friend.
Private groups and open forums.
I've never seen the point of non-private groups. We have public threads (or could have) to cover anything that is now being done in these groups.
Years ago, when the Virtual Irish Pub, was in its first incarnation, a bunch of people from many countries interested in various aspects of information technology slowly got together. At first we all talked work and helped each other in this new field, then we emailed and spoke on the telephone, started to get friendly. Trolls (and a few ill willed members) hit our chat group on a regular basis and eventually I began a private area for the group. We called ourselves Rogues. The space was not used to discuss other people, though that occasionally came up. It was where we felt we could let off general steam, talk about private things we didn't want to have in open forum - like family problems, family joys, personal stuff... We all trusted each other. Many of us have met, stayed with each other, travelled about together, helped each other through some tough times. Two of that group came over here with me.
I view a Forum as a big public lounge room / cafe / pub. Lots of space for all to get together, and the people who frequent the public bar and the people who prefer a quiet cafe etc can talk to each other there, and wander about too if they want. For me, the open forum is a place to be polite and reasonably impersonal.
Then there's the kitchen. Here you shut the public doors, kick off your shoes and complain about your bunions and the price of fish, swear at the noisy cockatoos that woke you up, the fact your kids don't hear you. You tell your friends about your scare when you found a breast lump, you get angry about a speeding ticket and shed tears about the state of the world. Some of these things one could do by email but emails are two way, and it's nice occasionally to post in a supporting group of people you trust. Oh yeah, and if someone's made you so mad you could spit chips, you tell it like it is, knowing that you'll be over it tomorrow and what you've got out of your system in heat will go no further.
Private groups are not necessarily the evil things they've been portrayed here. If anyone can get into the group, what's the point of having a kitchen, with a door? And that's what Tombstone gave us.
If someone forces entry, that's a very serious violation. And no matter how much this issue is camouflaged, that remains for me the greatest transgression here.
Anyway, the private group thing in here has been ruined. Which probably was the intention anyway. Envy has done this. There are people who can build up, and people who can tear down. And the first lot are the minority. A pity, but life goes on.
Now back to Christmas card writing.....
