When Is The Line Crossed?
When Is The Line Crossed?
In your opinion, when is the line crossed between a healthy use and enjoyment of an internet forum site and a dysfunctional or unhealthy use of it?
24
When Is The Line Crossed?
I think we have experienced this all to often in the past month. I accept being part of the problem. Sometimes you just have to go at it, doesn't slove anything and usually never feels very good after the fact.
Much like have a family fight that everyone walks out of the house, and isn't heard from for a week at least, and all feel very stupid for having argued to no avail. :-3
I'm going back to my peace and love mode I like it a lot, kinda like the 60's all is good. :-6
[QUOTE]dysfunctional or unhealthy use of it[/QUOTE]
Much like have a family fight that everyone walks out of the house, and isn't heard from for a week at least, and all feel very stupid for having argued to no avail. :-3 I'm going back to my peace and love mode I like it a lot, kinda like the 60's all is good. :-6
[QUOTE]dysfunctional or unhealthy use of it[/QUOTE]
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
When Is The Line Crossed?
24Hours;475791 wrote: In your opinion, when is the line crossed between a healthy use and enjoyment of an internet forum site and a dysfunctional or unhealthy use of it?
:wah: :wah:
Yer funny.
:wah: :wah:
Yer funny.
I AM AWESOME MAN
When Is The Line Crossed?
when you let a little bad afect the good you get out of the forum. as, in life, you can;t always please everybody. not everybody will always like you. if you let that get to you then you are to emotionally involved. 
When Is The Line Crossed?
24Hours;475791 wrote: In your opinion, when is the line crossed between a healthy use and enjoyment of an internet forum site and a dysfunctional or unhealthy use of it?
24, I understand fully why you are bringing this up right now, but can we have a bit of a pause before the next round of ritual bloodletting begins?
Its a pertinent question, but seriously I think people are too emotional at the moment, after what was said yesterday, they need to calm down, its likely that this thread will just take up where the last one left off, so let sleeping dogs lie, (at least for tonight eh?). It was upsetting just reading that thread yesterday, mercifully the power went here at twelve so I missed most of it when it was happening, I hope it doesn't start again tonight, so I ask you honestly not to persue this right now.
24, I understand fully why you are bringing this up right now, but can we have a bit of a pause before the next round of ritual bloodletting begins?
Its a pertinent question, but seriously I think people are too emotional at the moment, after what was said yesterday, they need to calm down, its likely that this thread will just take up where the last one left off, so let sleeping dogs lie, (at least for tonight eh?). It was upsetting just reading that thread yesterday, mercifully the power went here at twelve so I missed most of it when it was happening, I hope it doesn't start again tonight, so I ask you honestly not to persue this right now.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
When Is The Line Crossed?
I suppose when you stop doing normal, real life things in favour of being on the net instead?
Hi Pinky, that's one .. there are many other red flags to me, some I have dibbled in myself! One that I see all the time are people who treat it like a drug, taking advantage of the distance between computers, getting off on putting down others for sport, to make themselves feel better - indicative of emotional dysfunction and needs not being met. They are often transparent to me and that is a common way I see the line crossed.
Most of them would never say that crap in person, even if they say they would. Online, they get to feel "big."
The internet can easly allow misery to prey on others, and in my mind, the line is crossed when obsession takes over as they expect others to care too much like they do.
What say you?
Hi Pinky, that's one .. there are many other red flags to me, some I have dibbled in myself! One that I see all the time are people who treat it like a drug, taking advantage of the distance between computers, getting off on putting down others for sport, to make themselves feel better - indicative of emotional dysfunction and needs not being met. They are often transparent to me and that is a common way I see the line crossed.
Most of them would never say that crap in person, even if they say they would. Online, they get to feel "big."
The internet can easly allow misery to prey on others, and in my mind, the line is crossed when obsession takes over as they expect others to care too much like they do.
What say you?
24
When Is The Line Crossed?
You say what Mr. Nutman.. 
[QUOTE]What say you? [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]What say you? [/QUOTE]
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
When Is The Line Crossed?
24, I understand fully why you are bringing this up right now, but can we have a bit of a pause before the next round of ritual bloodletting begins?
Its a pertinent question, but seriously I think people are too emotional at the moment, after what was said yesterday, they need to calm down, its likely that this thread will just take up where the last one left off, so let sleeping dogs lie, (at least for tonight eh?). It was upsetting just reading that thread yesterday, mercifully the power went here at twelve so I missed most of it when it was happening, I hope it doesn't start again tonight, so I ask you honestly not to persue this right now.
I don't let people who are way too wrapped up in the internet control or effect my general use and enjoyment of it. I was done with people telling me what to post and how to post it a long time ago. I also don't let what others assume about my motives dictate my feelings.
Letting the unhealthy use and fears of others effect me is crossing the line, I am sorry. When I fiirst came here many jumped in telling me not to post this or that, not to bust chops, worry about what this one says, don't offend that one, don't upset this or that.
I am not an emotional retard and so I can't support spending time assessing, judging and catering to people who I don't know or who might not even be online next year when I am not doing anything I believe is inherently wrong.
Freedom, fair and reasonable freedom. Don't tell me how to post.
Its a pertinent question, but seriously I think people are too emotional at the moment, after what was said yesterday, they need to calm down, its likely that this thread will just take up where the last one left off, so let sleeping dogs lie, (at least for tonight eh?). It was upsetting just reading that thread yesterday, mercifully the power went here at twelve so I missed most of it when it was happening, I hope it doesn't start again tonight, so I ask you honestly not to persue this right now.
I don't let people who are way too wrapped up in the internet control or effect my general use and enjoyment of it. I was done with people telling me what to post and how to post it a long time ago. I also don't let what others assume about my motives dictate my feelings.
Letting the unhealthy use and fears of others effect me is crossing the line, I am sorry. When I fiirst came here many jumped in telling me not to post this or that, not to bust chops, worry about what this one says, don't offend that one, don't upset this or that.
I am not an emotional retard and so I can't support spending time assessing, judging and catering to people who I don't know or who might not even be online next year when I am not doing anything I believe is inherently wrong.
Freedom, fair and reasonable freedom. Don't tell me how to post.
24
When Is The Line Crossed?
24Hours;475817 wrote: I don't let people who are way too wrapped up in the internet control or effect my general use and enjoyment of it. I was done with people telling me what to post and how to post it a long time ago. I also don't let what others assume about my motives to dictate.
Letting the unhealthy use and fears of others effect me is crossing the line, I am sorry. When I fiirst came here many jumped in telling me not to post this or that, not to bust chops, worry about what this one says, don't offend that one, don't upset this or that.
I am not an emotional retard and so I can't support spending time assessing, judging and catering to people who I don't know or who might not even be online next year when I am not doing anything I believe is inherently wrong.
Freedom, fair and reasonable freedom. Don't tell me how to post.
I'm not telling you anything, I am asking, and I didn't call you any names either. You can ignore me if you wish, (I am not in charge here, or of you), I will not be offended, and I agree with your sentiments in general. Anwyay, its done now, and people will say whatever they want to say, which is great, I tend to not get emotionally involved in such things (as its not my way to be so minded), but others do, and in general I kinda like almost everyone here each for their own reasons, though Its only on the Internet and all that, and its not nice to witness people being very hurtful to one another, whether they have a valid reason to or not. Anwyay, this is getting into me talking about something that I'm not that interested in talking about. It was just a request, you may do whatever you wish of course, and there is no need to take offence so readily.
Letting the unhealthy use and fears of others effect me is crossing the line, I am sorry. When I fiirst came here many jumped in telling me not to post this or that, not to bust chops, worry about what this one says, don't offend that one, don't upset this or that.
I am not an emotional retard and so I can't support spending time assessing, judging and catering to people who I don't know or who might not even be online next year when I am not doing anything I believe is inherently wrong.
Freedom, fair and reasonable freedom. Don't tell me how to post.
I'm not telling you anything, I am asking, and I didn't call you any names either. You can ignore me if you wish, (I am not in charge here, or of you), I will not be offended, and I agree with your sentiments in general. Anwyay, its done now, and people will say whatever they want to say, which is great, I tend to not get emotionally involved in such things (as its not my way to be so minded), but others do, and in general I kinda like almost everyone here each for their own reasons, though Its only on the Internet and all that, and its not nice to witness people being very hurtful to one another, whether they have a valid reason to or not. Anwyay, this is getting into me talking about something that I'm not that interested in talking about. It was just a request, you may do whatever you wish of course, and there is no need to take offence so readily.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
When Is The Line Crossed?
In addition, I believe it is always good to speak out against evil. I don't like the idea of online bullies condescending and preying upon others - people who have "power" in a social structure and abuse it, even mildly and indirectly. A HEALTHY forum webiste knows this and embraces what I have said, in my opinion. If what I have posted is disturbing to those reading it, then I submit that it's not me who has the problem.
That's another example of crossing the line - the subject of this thread.
That's another example of crossing the line - the subject of this thread.
24
When Is The Line Crossed?
I'm not telling you anything, I am asking, and I didn't call you any names either. You can ignore me if you wish, (I am not in charge here, or of you), I will not be offended, and I agree with your sentiments in general. Anwyay, its done now, and people will say whatever they want to say, which is great, I tend to not get emotionally involved in such things (as its not my way to be so minded), but others do, and in general I kinda like almost everyone here each for their own reasons, though Its only on the Internet and all that, and its not nice to witness people being very hurtful to one another, whether they have a valid reason to or not. Anwyay, this is getting into me talking about something that I'm not that interested in talking about. It was just a request, you may do whatever you wish of course, and there is no need to take offence so readily.
Hi, I am not taking offense at all. I am just being clear. It's not my style to dance to be popular. I have plenty of friends and each one of them, online or offline, knows they get selflessness and honesty with me. I doubt you could offend me so do not worry my friend. I think I am just used to a more free, untainted form of communication, which is why I always thoroughly enjoyed my forum experiences and friends. I couldn't care less what people say about me in PMs or groups. Who cares? I would never use the Ignore feature. That's like saying I need protection from your posts or am too emotionally wrapped by what you may post that I better use software to avoid you. Not needed. I see problem people for what they are. To me, I would be "crossing the line" if I couldn't speak out freely about crossing the line. Also, the only thing I know you to be referencing is that ridiculous juvenile thread about private groups and who says what to who and where, as if talking about people behind their backs was a new idea PMs and emails couldn't address. Is this concern crossing the line? You tell me.
Hi, I am not taking offense at all. I am just being clear. It's not my style to dance to be popular. I have plenty of friends and each one of them, online or offline, knows they get selflessness and honesty with me. I doubt you could offend me so do not worry my friend. I think I am just used to a more free, untainted form of communication, which is why I always thoroughly enjoyed my forum experiences and friends. I couldn't care less what people say about me in PMs or groups. Who cares? I would never use the Ignore feature. That's like saying I need protection from your posts or am too emotionally wrapped by what you may post that I better use software to avoid you. Not needed. I see problem people for what they are. To me, I would be "crossing the line" if I couldn't speak out freely about crossing the line. Also, the only thing I know you to be referencing is that ridiculous juvenile thread about private groups and who says what to who and where, as if talking about people behind their backs was a new idea PMs and emails couldn't address. Is this concern crossing the line? You tell me.
24
When Is The Line Crossed?
When you realise that you're not seated with a good posture and your face is to close to the monitor
Heh heh!
Heh heh!
24
When Is The Line Crossed?
24Hours;475827 wrote: In addition, I believe it is always good to speak out against evil. I don't like the idea of online bullies condescending and preying upon others - people who have "power" in a social structure and abuse it, even mildly and indirectly. A HEALTHY forum webiste knows this and embraces what I have said, in my opinion. If what I have posted is disturbing to those reading it, then I submit that it's not me who has the problem.
That's another example of crossing the line - the subject of this thread.
Yeah, as long as you can define what you mean by "evil", who is bullying who exactly, who is being condescending about what, who has power here and who doesn't?, what kind of power? what exactly peoples agendas are?, who are they anyway?, how do they know each other?, are they really who they say they are?, if that is them in the first place, or someone else with their passord?, all of that paranoid stuff, we could get into for hours which would lead nowhere. Everything specific that has been said can be looked at in the cold light of day (unless its deleted, which leads us to another tiresome debate about moderators). My attitude is that if this Forum is something other than it claims or seems to be then I will be the first to leave, I assure you. From my own experiences here, the only problems people have here are the ones they bring with them, its not perfect, obviously, but I'm happy enough with it. I don't think I have ever made a request like the one I did here before on FG, and the reason I did was not because of anything other than how vitriolic last nights posting had become, perhaps it was a naive request and you are in no mood to contenance advice, but thats all it was, if you were offended I apologize, if you hold is against me, thats your business.
That's another example of crossing the line - the subject of this thread.
Yeah, as long as you can define what you mean by "evil", who is bullying who exactly, who is being condescending about what, who has power here and who doesn't?, what kind of power? what exactly peoples agendas are?, who are they anyway?, how do they know each other?, are they really who they say they are?, if that is them in the first place, or someone else with their passord?, all of that paranoid stuff, we could get into for hours which would lead nowhere. Everything specific that has been said can be looked at in the cold light of day (unless its deleted, which leads us to another tiresome debate about moderators). My attitude is that if this Forum is something other than it claims or seems to be then I will be the first to leave, I assure you. From my own experiences here, the only problems people have here are the ones they bring with them, its not perfect, obviously, but I'm happy enough with it. I don't think I have ever made a request like the one I did here before on FG, and the reason I did was not because of anything other than how vitriolic last nights posting had become, perhaps it was a naive request and you are in no mood to contenance advice, but thats all it was, if you were offended I apologize, if you hold is against me, thats your business.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
When Is The Line Crossed?
Novelty;475836 wrote: When you realise that you're not seated with a good posture and your face is to close to the monitor
:wah: :wah: you are right there novelty.......
:wah: :wah: you are right there novelty.......
When Is The Line Crossed?
Hello there,
Yeah, as long as you can define what you mean by "evil", who is bullying who exactly, who is being condescending about what, who has power here and who doesn't?, what kind of power? what exactly peoples agendas are?, who are they anyway?, how do they know each other?, are they really who they say they are?, if that is them in the first place, or someone else with their passord?,
I agree, which is why I was asking you when you thought the line was crossed. I feel comfortable with my judgement and when I see it - do you? I am just chatting, not being adversarial
My attitude is that if this Forum is something other than it claims or seems to be then I will be the first to leave, I assure you. From my own experiences here, the only problems people have here are the ones they bring with them, its not perfect, obviously, but I'm happy enough with it. I don't think I have ever made a request like the one I did here before on FG, and the reason I did was not because of anything other than how vitriolic last nights posting had become, perhaps it was a naive request and you are in no mood to contenance advice, but thats all it was, if you were offended I apologize, if you hold is against me, thats your business.
I don't have a frame of reference as to what percentage of people were in that thread compared to the whole of FG, or how big of a deal it is to what percentage, but do know there will NEVER be culture change here that doesn't allow that type of thing to thrive and survive if it isn't met head on. Mark my words.
That being said, I found your last response (the one I quoted above) to be truly excellent - you are obviously a very kind and respectful person, and I appreciated the diplomatic nature and restraint of your word choices. I like you already, and sorry we got off on the wrong foot.
I am not naming names and don't even know the names or events enough to try - I am speaking objectively, about concepts. I am not wanting to repeat that thread, that thread was retarded and I didn't even read most of it. I don't care about that stupid thread.
I am speaking about Crossing the Line ONLY. Not some other thread.
Yeah, as long as you can define what you mean by "evil", who is bullying who exactly, who is being condescending about what, who has power here and who doesn't?, what kind of power? what exactly peoples agendas are?, who are they anyway?, how do they know each other?, are they really who they say they are?, if that is them in the first place, or someone else with their passord?,
I agree, which is why I was asking you when you thought the line was crossed. I feel comfortable with my judgement and when I see it - do you? I am just chatting, not being adversarial
My attitude is that if this Forum is something other than it claims or seems to be then I will be the first to leave, I assure you. From my own experiences here, the only problems people have here are the ones they bring with them, its not perfect, obviously, but I'm happy enough with it. I don't think I have ever made a request like the one I did here before on FG, and the reason I did was not because of anything other than how vitriolic last nights posting had become, perhaps it was a naive request and you are in no mood to contenance advice, but thats all it was, if you were offended I apologize, if you hold is against me, thats your business.
I don't have a frame of reference as to what percentage of people were in that thread compared to the whole of FG, or how big of a deal it is to what percentage, but do know there will NEVER be culture change here that doesn't allow that type of thing to thrive and survive if it isn't met head on. Mark my words.
That being said, I found your last response (the one I quoted above) to be truly excellent - you are obviously a very kind and respectful person, and I appreciated the diplomatic nature and restraint of your word choices. I like you already, and sorry we got off on the wrong foot.
I am not naming names and don't even know the names or events enough to try - I am speaking objectively, about concepts. I am not wanting to repeat that thread, that thread was retarded and I didn't even read most of it. I don't care about that stupid thread.
I am speaking about Crossing the Line ONLY. Not some other thread.
24
When Is The Line Crossed?
24Hours;475837 wrote: Hi, I am not taking offense at all. I am just being clear. It's not my style to dance to be popular. I have plenty of friends and each one of them, online or offline, knows they get selflessness and honesty with me. I doubt you could offend me so do not worry my friend. I think I am just used to a more free, untainted form of communication, which is why I always thoroughly enjoyed my forum experiences and friends. I couldn't care less what people say about me in PMs or groups. Who cares? I would never use the Ignore feature. That's like saying I need protection from your posts or am too emotionally wrapped by what you may post that I better use software to avoid you. Not needed. I see problem people for what they are. To me, I would be "crossing the line" if I couldn't speak out freely about crossing the line. Also, the only thing I know you to be referencing is that ridiculous juvenile thread about private groups and who says what to who and where, as if talking about people behind their backs was a new idea PMs and emails couldn't address. Is this concern crossing the line? You tell me.
I think that there have been problems with this group idea, its obviously caused a lot of problems, and it needs to be addressed in some way, what that way is I have no idea. This place is not a democracy and yet there is no dictator either, I am not here to make rules or pronouce on the ethics of forum debate, its not some something I'm really interested in, all I can say in general terms is that It does sadden me that people get so rancourous and hostile when really there is no need to, (being hostile when you need to be is perfectly justified BTW), but then people are people, and anything I say won't stop that, I'm not self-regarding enough (though don't worry I'm not self loathing either) to worry too much about what people that essentially I don't know, say about me here, though I don't like negativity anymore than you or anyone else would, and I also love getting into a good argument. Though when it becomes just abuse I get bored, because, well its boring after about 5 minutes. In general I am not qualified to make a judgement on this one, and if I was I probably wouldn't be interested anyway, but like I said earlier, it is a valid question, so perhaps I will think about it a bit more later.
I think that there have been problems with this group idea, its obviously caused a lot of problems, and it needs to be addressed in some way, what that way is I have no idea. This place is not a democracy and yet there is no dictator either, I am not here to make rules or pronouce on the ethics of forum debate, its not some something I'm really interested in, all I can say in general terms is that It does sadden me that people get so rancourous and hostile when really there is no need to, (being hostile when you need to be is perfectly justified BTW), but then people are people, and anything I say won't stop that, I'm not self-regarding enough (though don't worry I'm not self loathing either) to worry too much about what people that essentially I don't know, say about me here, though I don't like negativity anymore than you or anyone else would, and I also love getting into a good argument. Though when it becomes just abuse I get bored, because, well its boring after about 5 minutes. In general I am not qualified to make a judgement on this one, and if I was I probably wouldn't be interested anyway, but like I said earlier, it is a valid question, so perhaps I will think about it a bit more later.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
When Is The Line Crossed?
Pardon me while I chime in here. I guess I missed whatever you all are talking about that happend last night, as I was dog-sitting and enjoying my grand-dog's canine company. But, reading this particular thread, I am curious about something. Pardon me if I am a bit naive. Here's my question:
As I read here, it seems as if certain of you know one another in RL. I know some of you have met, (i.e. Pinky and Hamster) but, did they know each other before meeting on this forum? Do any of you know each other? Is the whole problem (of whatever last night's disagreements were) between people who actually know each other, or of people who are strictly acquainted electronically only?
I ask this because I sometimes feel like a person invited to dinner at someone else's family's home, welcome as can be, but still not part of the family. This is strictly my own insecurity, not anything anyone here has done. I have to say, the people I speak to on this forum are absolutely wonderful. So it puzzles me to see bickering of the sort you are referring to as "last night's" incident. That's why I was wondering if you all are acquainted in RL or just here in the FG.
If this should be in a different thread, sorry.
As I read here, it seems as if certain of you know one another in RL. I know some of you have met, (i.e. Pinky and Hamster) but, did they know each other before meeting on this forum? Do any of you know each other? Is the whole problem (of whatever last night's disagreements were) between people who actually know each other, or of people who are strictly acquainted electronically only?
I ask this because I sometimes feel like a person invited to dinner at someone else's family's home, welcome as can be, but still not part of the family. This is strictly my own insecurity, not anything anyone here has done. I have to say, the people I speak to on this forum are absolutely wonderful. So it puzzles me to see bickering of the sort you are referring to as "last night's" incident. That's why I was wondering if you all are acquainted in RL or just here in the FG.
If this should be in a different thread, sorry.
You can't control the wind, but you can adjust your sails.
When Is The Line Crossed?
Hi Insomniac, I can only speak for myself. I don't know anyone here in RL and even if I did I would invite you dinner with a fair playing field - I don't do clicks. I have friends online at my site who are here too and we have both posted things that have "annoyed" or "disturbed" the other but I believe we understand there is a freedom that needs to be allowed because if not, then it's not REAL. I don't do clicks and I don't care if they like you or not, you get a fair chance with me. They don't check with me before they post, I can tell you that!
Crossing The Line would be me NOT talking to you one on one, because then I would just be in it for the drama, the power trip, the fulfillment. For all I know you might be a better friend in the end then most of the people I know. What's the phrase - Ya gotta be in it to win it. Or, no pain no gain.
On a sidenote, there are a few people I know from here who I would love to meet one day in RL!
LADY COP doesn't live THAT far. WATCH OUT, LINDA!!
Crossing The Line would be me NOT talking to you one on one, because then I would just be in it for the drama, the power trip, the fulfillment. For all I know you might be a better friend in the end then most of the people I know. What's the phrase - Ya gotta be in it to win it. Or, no pain no gain.
On a sidenote, there are a few people I know from here who I would love to meet one day in RL!
LADY COP doesn't live THAT far. WATCH OUT, LINDA!!
24
When Is The Line Crossed?
OK, one of these days I'm coming to the UK. Watch out! I intend to do some serious eating and drinking!
You can't control the wind, but you can adjust your sails.
When Is The Line Crossed?
24Hours;475850 wrote: Hello there,
I agree, which is why I was asking you when you thought the line was crossed. I feel comfortable with my judgement and when I see it - do you? I am just chatting, not being adversarial
I don't have a frame of reference as to what percentage of people were in that thread compared to the whole of FG, or how big of a deal it is to what percentage, but do know there will NEVER be culture change here that doesn't allow that type of thing to thrive and survive if it isn't met head on. Mark my words.
That being said, I found your last response (the one I quoted above) to be truly excellent - you are obviously a very kind and respectful person, and I appreciated the diplomatic nature and restraint of your word choices. I like you already, and sorry we got off on the wrong foot.
I am not naming names and don't even know the names or events enough to try - I am speaking objectively, about concepts. I am not wanting to repeat that thread, that thread was retarded and I didn't even read most of it. I don't care about that stupid thread.
I am speaking about Crossing the Line ONLY. Not some other thread.
I think actually that you have a good point, I wouldn't want to see a forum where there wasn't fighting or arguing, as that would not really be represetative of people as they honestly are and if you repress it, it just causes a bigger argument down the line, but to get to where I suppose where you were originally going is where does healthy confrontation and aggro become something else, something more sinister and systematically abusive, and malicious over the long term? My answer is I don't know, each case has to be taken on its merits and dealt with as best as whoever has the competence to deal with it can achieve. A somewhat grey answer, but as you know yourself this is not a black an white issue anyway, so any answer to it will have to be subjective to the case in point, the only objective frame of reference are forum rules, and I'm not sure what they cover in this regard, or if they do at all. I think that its also incumbent upon indivduals to use their common sense here, as we are in cyber space, not in a state where there are police or courts, this is an open Internet forum that is public access and worldwide to anyone with a PC and an internet connection, its completely open to abuse by anyone who would take an interest in doing so, and its one of the reasons why perhaps it is wise perhaps to have some seperation between who you are here and who you are in the real world.
I agree, which is why I was asking you when you thought the line was crossed. I feel comfortable with my judgement and when I see it - do you? I am just chatting, not being adversarial
I don't have a frame of reference as to what percentage of people were in that thread compared to the whole of FG, or how big of a deal it is to what percentage, but do know there will NEVER be culture change here that doesn't allow that type of thing to thrive and survive if it isn't met head on. Mark my words.
That being said, I found your last response (the one I quoted above) to be truly excellent - you are obviously a very kind and respectful person, and I appreciated the diplomatic nature and restraint of your word choices. I like you already, and sorry we got off on the wrong foot.
I am not naming names and don't even know the names or events enough to try - I am speaking objectively, about concepts. I am not wanting to repeat that thread, that thread was retarded and I didn't even read most of it. I don't care about that stupid thread.
I am speaking about Crossing the Line ONLY. Not some other thread.
I think actually that you have a good point, I wouldn't want to see a forum where there wasn't fighting or arguing, as that would not really be represetative of people as they honestly are and if you repress it, it just causes a bigger argument down the line, but to get to where I suppose where you were originally going is where does healthy confrontation and aggro become something else, something more sinister and systematically abusive, and malicious over the long term? My answer is I don't know, each case has to be taken on its merits and dealt with as best as whoever has the competence to deal with it can achieve. A somewhat grey answer, but as you know yourself this is not a black an white issue anyway, so any answer to it will have to be subjective to the case in point, the only objective frame of reference are forum rules, and I'm not sure what they cover in this regard, or if they do at all. I think that its also incumbent upon indivduals to use their common sense here, as we are in cyber space, not in a state where there are police or courts, this is an open Internet forum that is public access and worldwide to anyone with a PC and an internet connection, its completely open to abuse by anyone who would take an interest in doing so, and its one of the reasons why perhaps it is wise perhaps to have some seperation between who you are here and who you are in the real world.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
When Is The Line Crossed?
quote by one-nut"On a sidenote, there are a few people I know from here who I would love to meet one day in RL!
LADY COP doesn't live THAT far. WATCH OUT, LINDA!!" i am heavily armed you stalker!!!! :p
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LADY COP doesn't live THAT far. WATCH OUT, LINDA!!" i am heavily armed you stalker!!!! :p
__________________
When Is The Line Crossed?
"In your opinion, when is the line crossed between a healthy use and enjoyment of an internet forum site and a dysfunctional or unhealthy use of it?"
You asked...in my opinion, making an attempt to stir a pot which has just stopped boiling isn't exactly a HEALTHY thing.
You asked...in my opinion, making an attempt to stir a pot which has just stopped boiling isn't exactly a HEALTHY thing.
My candle's burning at both ends, it will not last the night. But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--It gives a lovely light!--Edna St. Vincent Millay
When Is The Line Crossed?
Pinky;475882 wrote: That's ultimately the risk when people start becoming defensive, as I found out myself. Something I tried to say in a non confrontational, non biased way obviously came over very differently to another member, as they then felt the need to betray my confidence and take the micheal out of something personal I'd told them. Normally, I try to be objective about these things, but that was a total kick in the teeth.
I could understand it if I'd been obnoxious, but that wasn't the case at all.
Anyway, I'll shut up now, as it's all past news.
Don't worry pinky, I,d go looking at old graves with you any day.
I could understand it if I'd been obnoxious, but that wasn't the case at all.
Anyway, I'll shut up now, as it's all past news.
Don't worry pinky, I,d go looking at old graves with you any day.
"We are never so happy, never so unhappy, as we imagine"
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
Le Rochefoucauld.
"A smack in the face settles all arguments, then you can move on kid."
My dad 1986.
When Is The Line Crossed?
I wouldn't want to see a forum where there wasn't fighting or arguing, as that would not really be represetative of people as they honestly are and if you repress it, it just causes a bigger argument down the line,
Im not so sure about that. Im goofy at work but I dont wear a tinfoil hat there. Also Im sure some of the language used here in now way indicates how those same people might converse in the world. Thats the beauty/detriment of these forums though.
I AM AWESOME MAN
When Is The Line Crossed?
Hi Galbally,
My answer is I don't know, each case has to be taken on its merits and dealt with as best as whoever has the competence to deal with it can achieve. A somewhat grey answer, but as you know yourself this is not a black an white issue anyway, so any answer to it will have to be subjective to the case in point, the only objective frame of reference are forum rules, and I'm not sure what they cover in this regard, or if they do at all.
I hear you, I guess for me, personally, my pet peeve are Internet bullies and condescending negative punks in various forms. Some sites let them thrive or survive because the Admin doesn't care, or likes it, or the people in question are connected or in power. Me, I would tell the condescending, abusive, bullying, arrogant, nit-picky, uptight, toxic S.O.B.s to get out. I find people who get off on that power to be Crossing The Line.
Hi Lulu2,
You asked...in my opinion, making an attempt to stir a pot which has just stopped boiling isn't exactly a HEALTHY thing.
I don't post just to stir pots, and I have no idea if they are still boiling or how long they have been boiling for or will continue to boil. Also, I wouldn't attempt to stir a pot, I would just do it. Crossing the Line is when we make believe that sending the signal to others not to "stir the pot" isn't really code for "don't bother certain people" or "post how I want you to post" or "pay attention to the people and threads that I do, like I do, so you know whether or not you are stirring the pot."
Frig that.
My answer is I don't know, each case has to be taken on its merits and dealt with as best as whoever has the competence to deal with it can achieve. A somewhat grey answer, but as you know yourself this is not a black an white issue anyway, so any answer to it will have to be subjective to the case in point, the only objective frame of reference are forum rules, and I'm not sure what they cover in this regard, or if they do at all.
I hear you, I guess for me, personally, my pet peeve are Internet bullies and condescending negative punks in various forms. Some sites let them thrive or survive because the Admin doesn't care, or likes it, or the people in question are connected or in power. Me, I would tell the condescending, abusive, bullying, arrogant, nit-picky, uptight, toxic S.O.B.s to get out. I find people who get off on that power to be Crossing The Line.
Hi Lulu2,
You asked...in my opinion, making an attempt to stir a pot which has just stopped boiling isn't exactly a HEALTHY thing.
I don't post just to stir pots, and I have no idea if they are still boiling or how long they have been boiling for or will continue to boil. Also, I wouldn't attempt to stir a pot, I would just do it. Crossing the Line is when we make believe that sending the signal to others not to "stir the pot" isn't really code for "don't bother certain people" or "post how I want you to post" or "pay attention to the people and threads that I do, like I do, so you know whether or not you are stirring the pot."
Frig that.
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When Is The Line Crossed?
Novelty, I know what you mean. It's like that instinctive reflex in us to not like what is different. That's where racism originates in my view. It ALL traces back to the Gene Wars this planet and its species is involuntarily engaged in. We are prewired for it - it's a defensive mechanism based in realistic survival wisdom.
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When Is The Line Crossed?
24Hours;475912 wrote: Agreed...
I think you just crossed the line Frank.
I think you just crossed the line Frank.
I AM AWESOME MAN
-
rainbowsmiles
- Posts: 394
- Joined: Sun May 29, 2005 6:55 pm
When Is The Line Crossed?
24Hours;475791 wrote: In your opinion, when is the line crossed between a healthy use and enjoyment of an internet forum site and a dysfunctional or unhealthy use of it?
I know I'm "johnny come lately" on this topic but... I guess my opinion is...
If it feels unhealthy to the individual, then it is unhealthy. Its all personal I guess. I personally feel using the internet every single day is unhealthy - but that is how I feel for myself. When I was using it daily, it really bothered me. I felt like there was so much more I could be doing and here I was wasting so much time online. But I know others who use it daily and really enjoy it so for me to say they are unhealthy wouldn't be fair. Does that make sense?
I know I'm "johnny come lately" on this topic but... I guess my opinion is...
If it feels unhealthy to the individual, then it is unhealthy. Its all personal I guess. I personally feel using the internet every single day is unhealthy - but that is how I feel for myself. When I was using it daily, it really bothered me. I felt like there was so much more I could be doing and here I was wasting so much time online. But I know others who use it daily and really enjoy it so for me to say they are unhealthy wouldn't be fair. Does that make sense?
When Is The Line Crossed?
There was this game in the 50's where aduts at a party would throw their keys or shoes into a pile. You randomly picked a shoe, or a set of keys, and joined up with that person. It was supposed to be risque exciting and liberating. Stretching oneself to be compatible with a stranger. It was actually revolting. But anyway.. In real life, generally, 26 year olds do not routinely socialize with 53 year olds. Confrontational personalities usually are shunned by the meek. Intellects do not break their legs to have cocktails with illiterates. And artistic minds have little to say to conservative thinkers.
The psychological stability of a stranger presents itself in multiple ways. Language, apperance, attitude, demeanor, body language, and facial expression. Then one can form an opinion, and decide if further contact is desired. Participating in online forums is a fantastic opportunity to broaden ones scope of socialization. Freed from the restrictions of the criteria mentioned above... the heart is free to bond and to form affection and attachments to strangers. However, these are strangers. FG has been such an out of the ordinary experience for so many of us... that when a character flaw, defect, or unpleasant side of a member is revealed... it is devastating.
Needs have been met here. Magnanimous unconditional support has often been offered. Bonds have been formed... hearts have even been broken.
I am not able to say when participation becomes unhealthy. I was going to, but while typing I realized that although I can make these observations. I have been moved to tears here... I have been appalled... I have been hurt, I have been angry, and I have been dissapointed. I believe I am psychologically stable... And yet I have discussed this place with co workers, family and friends. Sadly, not recently... but in the past I have enjoyed more quality time on this forum, than with people Ive spent time with in real life. A group of the " Characters here inspired me to travel over an ocean to meet them. I would do it again tomorrow. ( I say characters with love" I would give anything for those steamy days in Georgia... early am or midnight when I would hear the notification bell on the computer telling me that a message had come in.... and I would rush to the screen to read responses from my friends here. Who gives a flying dick whats normal?
Its great to just " go with the flow" When its good.... its great. When its bad, its very very destructive to the soul.
The psychological stability of a stranger presents itself in multiple ways. Language, apperance, attitude, demeanor, body language, and facial expression. Then one can form an opinion, and decide if further contact is desired. Participating in online forums is a fantastic opportunity to broaden ones scope of socialization. Freed from the restrictions of the criteria mentioned above... the heart is free to bond and to form affection and attachments to strangers. However, these are strangers. FG has been such an out of the ordinary experience for so many of us... that when a character flaw, defect, or unpleasant side of a member is revealed... it is devastating.
Needs have been met here. Magnanimous unconditional support has often been offered. Bonds have been formed... hearts have even been broken.
I am not able to say when participation becomes unhealthy. I was going to, but while typing I realized that although I can make these observations. I have been moved to tears here... I have been appalled... I have been hurt, I have been angry, and I have been dissapointed. I believe I am psychologically stable... And yet I have discussed this place with co workers, family and friends. Sadly, not recently... but in the past I have enjoyed more quality time on this forum, than with people Ive spent time with in real life. A group of the " Characters here inspired me to travel over an ocean to meet them. I would do it again tomorrow. ( I say characters with love" I would give anything for those steamy days in Georgia... early am or midnight when I would hear the notification bell on the computer telling me that a message had come in.... and I would rush to the screen to read responses from my friends here. Who gives a flying dick whats normal?
Its great to just " go with the flow" When its good.... its great. When its bad, its very very destructive to the soul.
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When Is The Line Crossed?
Well said Weeder I couldn't agree more. Thank you for one of the best posts I have read in a long time. :yh_hugs :yh_flower :yh_flower
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
When Is The Line Crossed?
Rainbowsmiles, yes, that makes sense! Love your name by the way.
Weeder ... damn that was good!
Weeder ... damn that was good!
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