ForumGarden

spot wrote: there were some who had to rely on puddles.


Yep...I know :-1

SnoozeControl wrote: "Aha!" he cried... "Let there be light!"Speaking of which, where did meltonpie get to? He took to his bed groaning - has he died of it? He's been gone a long while.

Snooze, has anyone ever accused you of exaggerating?

ArnoldLayne wrote: ...and when we got 'ome our dad would slash us in two wit' breadknifeTry telling that to the youth of today, though.

theia wrote: My apologies, Nomad, it was a misunderstanding on my part...I didn't realise you were just one of the ash cleaners...no wonder I didn't recognise your name


Clever twist on words Ill give you that. The ash was 9' deep from California to the Missisippi. I pulled 8423 people out, gave them mouth to mouth, rescued thousands of dogs, cats, goldfish, ponies and salamanders (gave them all mouth to mouth too) then delivered quintuplets all before dinner.

Nomad wrote: Clever twist on words Ill give you that. The ash was 9' deep from California to the Missisippi. I pulled 8423 people out, gave them mouth to mouth, rescued thousands of dogs, cats, goldfish, ponies and salamanders (gave them all mouth to mouth too) then delivered quintuplets all before dinner.
Had to take a lunch break, eh wimpy?

Accountable wrote: Had to take a lunch break, eh wimpy?


Just my point, Acc. I don't want to belittle Nomad's efforts but, if he wants to be a real volcano cleaner, he'll have to forego his meal breaks. I did.

theia wrote: Just my point, Acc. I don't want to belittle Nomad's efforts but, if he wants to be a real volcano cleaner, he'll have to forego his meal breaks. I did.You call it volcano cleaning if that makes you happier. I can read you clear as day the length of Shaftesbury Avenue, dear, We've all got your number all right. Those heels are a dead giveaway.

spot wrote: You call it volcano cleaning if that makes you happier. I can read you clear as day the length of Shaftesbury Avenue, dear, I've all got your number all right. Those heels are a dead giveaway.


I wouldn't be seen dead volcano cleaning in flatties, my dear

theia wrote: I wouldn't be seen dead volcano cleaning in flatties, my dearAnd the lurex microskirt??

Dont get me wrong.... Its a convience not having to wear clothing. My skin all over is thick as leather from 50 some years of baking in the hot sun while I hoed and peeled the potatoes. But now and then, it would be nice to be able to fit a pair of femine shoes on these talon type feet. The trip overseas has me a little concerned. Im wondering if I put a brown belt around my waist and creatively accessorize with earrings and such... will I pass for someone wearing a brown suit? I certainly wouldnt want to be arrested simply because of such a cushy past.

weeder wrote: Dont get me wrong.... Its a convience not having to wear clothing. My skin all over is thick as leather from 50 some years of baking in the hot sun while I hoed and peeled the potatoes. But now and then, it would be nice to be able to fit a pair of femine shoes on these talon type feet. The trip overseas has me a little concerned. Im wondering if I put a brown belt around my waist and creatively accessorize with earrings and such... will I pass for someone wearing a brown suit? I certainly wouldnt want to be arrested simply because of such a cushy past.
I can't believe it! :-5 They said you hoed around on your off-time, but I wouldn't buy it. How foolish I've been. :rolleyes:

meltonpie wrote: Crikey! When I started this I didn't think it would get that vicious. Get me out of here!


Now look wot you started .... you've been eating too many Walker's Crisps .... I blame Gary Lineker myself:D

Vicious

You hit me with a flower

You do it every hour

Ohh, baby you’re so vicious

Vicious

You want me to hit you with a stick

But all I’ve got’s a guitar pick

Huh... baby you’re so vicious

When I watch you come

I just want to run far away

You’re not the kind of person

Around whom I want to stay

When I see you comin’ down the street

I step on your hands and I mangle your feet

You’re not the kind of person that I wanna meet

Oh, baby, you’re so vicious

Vicious

You hit me with a flower

You do it every hour

Ohh, baby you’re so vicious

Vicious

Hey, why don’t you swallow razor blades

You must think I’m some kinda gay blade

But baby, you’re so vicious

When I watch you comin’

I just have to run

You’re not good and you certainly aren’t very much fun

When I see you walkin’ down the street

I step on your hand and I mangle your feet

You’re not the kind of person that I even wanna meet

’cause you’re so vicious

Vicious

Vicious...

Where's meltonpie gone someone asks? He's a hundred miles away by now, to get away from what he started. Never did I realise that asking a simple question would lead to so many things. Now is it just me - or are you ALL mad?!

Perhaps I shouldn't have asked that - I already anticipate some of the answers that will be forthcoming!

meltonpie wrote: Where's meltonpie gone someone asks? He's a hundred miles away by now, to get away from what he started. Never did I realise that asking a simple question would lead to so many things. Now is it just me - or are you ALL mad?!

Perhaps I shouldn't have asked that - I already anticipate some of the answers that will be forthcoming!


Mad as hatters, melton..well at least I am

But, come on, join in the fun, you might very end up as mad as we are :wah:

theia wrote: But, come on, join in the fun, you might very end up as mad as we are :wah:Mad? Modern youth don't know what mad means any more. Back when I were a lad, we stripped naked and rolled on village green squeezing each other's pimples some days, we were that far gone wi' madness. Rector had to sprinkle holy water from a bucket or we'd be there yet. He were good to us, that rector, more than we deserved, til Mrs Oglethwaite's youngest moved in to do for him and Pastoral Committee got him moved out of the county.

That young snipe's off his deathbed, is he? Strange, the way illness only takes the wrong ones.

SnoozeControl wrote: What about that time my back was peeling from a bad sunburn, and you helped with all the dead skin by licking it off. That was pure pleasure.Good God woman, this is a public forum, have you no shame? Do that button up and stop flaunting your attributes!

I got some new moisturiser in t'post this morning, if you want to drop round later.

SnoozeControl wrote: Touchy touchy! I didn't even mention what you did to the back of my knees.:rolleyes:There's not many blessed with knees as robust as those, Snooze. I'd say Brunel was studying knees that shape just before he designed the Leviathan. Don't you go putting your knees down.

spot wrote: That young snipe's off his deathbed, is he? Strange, the way illness only takes the wrong ones.


You've got a sharp tongue, young spot. In my day you'd have had your mouth washed out with soap and be sent off to bed with no supper.

theia wrote: You've got a sharp tongue, young spot. In my day you'd have had your mouth washed out with soap and be sent off to bed with no supper.SUPPER??

theia wrote: You've got a sharp tongue, young spot. In my day you'd have had your mouth washed out with soap and be sent off to bed with no supper.BED??

Okay, Arnold. You just stay downwind, alright?

MAD??? This youth of today. here, or there dont know a bloody nuthin thing about mad. When I was a young, voloptuous, starved, brown, and exhausted young girl... my dad would tie hunks of meat from the roof of our hut just out of reach of our mouths. Mom had glued metal springs to the bottom of our bare feet. Uncle buttsballs would play the fiddle and make 8 of us leap and jump trying to bite the meat. And my first husband? The one they traded me for when I was 10,

the things he made me do with an old exhaust pipe,a jar of turtle wax and a ball of twine??? Well, I cant even describe it here. Where are we again??????????

spot wrote: Mad? Modern youth don't know what mad means any more. Back when I were a lad, we stripped naked and rolled on village green squeezing each other's pimples some days, we were that far gone wi' madness. Rector had to sprinkle holy water from a bucket or we'd be there yet. He were good to us, that rector, more than we deserved, til Mrs Oglethwaite's youngest moved in to do for him and Pastoral Committee got him moved out of the county.

That young snipe's off his deathbed, is he? Strange, the way illness only takes the wrong ones.
This thread has 50 lives - where's it off too now??!! Sorry, but I've got to get back to my bed, I'm feeling delirious now. Oh dear - there'll be some comeback to that........HELP!

meltonpie wrote: This thread has 50 lives - where's it off too now??!! Sorry, but I've got to get back to my bed, I'm feeling delirious now. Oh dear - there'll be some comeback to that........HELP!


As you will see, melton, I have severely reprimanded young spot for his unseemly and indecorous conduct. He is a jackanapes of the worst kind, an upstart who knows no bounds. I pray forgiveness for the unbecoming nature of his post.

I wish you swift recovery from your delirium.

Struth, you Brits sure talk funny!!

meltonpie wrote: This thread has 50 lives - where's it off too now??!! Sorry, but I've got to get back to my bed, I'm feeling delirious now. Oh dear - there'll be some comeback to that........HELP!
You're a genius Meltonpie! This thread is sure to win awards for its originality and unpredictability. Not that I need any more awards, mind you. My latest Oscar for the reality documentary in which I saved the 747 jumbojet from crashing into a herd of llama, landing safely on a Nepalese dirt road, had hardly had time to gather dust.

That's a BAD BOY post, Accountable!!! :yh_rotfl

True enough. I know I should've put the camera down * used both hands to land, but I couldn't pass up the chance. :rolleyes:

Accountable wrote: You're a genius Meltonpie! This thread is sure to win awards for its originality and unpredictability. Not that I need any more awards, mind you. My latest Oscar for the reality documentary in which I saved the 747 jumbojet from crashing into a herd of llama, landing safely on a Nepalese dirt road, had hardly had time to gather dust.


That's not quite how the llamas told it, Acc, when I checked your story out with them (perhaps you weren't aware that I speak llamese fluently)

theia wrote: That's not quite how the llamas told it, Acc, when I checked your story out with them (perhaps you weren't aware that I speak llamese fluently)
Then you know what notorious liars they are. :yh_angel

Accountable wrote: You're a genius Meltonpie! This thread is sure to win awards for its originality and unpredictability. Not that I need any more awards, mind you. My latest Oscar for the reality documentary in which I saved the 747 jumbojet from crashing into a herd of llama, landing safely on a Nepalese dirt road, had hardly had time to gather dust. I saw that one! You filmed that? I especially liked the part where the plane comes down out of the clouds like an eagle. Then the Dalai Lama- younger, sporting a trimmed moustache and a splendid, black uniform steps out to his adoring countrymen and helmeted soldiers as far as the eye can see. Then he and his disciples, in marshal regalia, march up the wide marble stairway toward a grand building, with long, flowing banners with those Hindu-design, bent crosses on them. Oh, it just took my breath away!

Accountable wrote: Then you know what notorious liars they are. :yh_angel


There aren't many "givens" in this life, Acc. One of the few is that llamas are sticklers for truth. I have met and talked with more than my fair share during my 57 years and I can vouch that this is one of those "givens"



(Sorry, but it had to be said)

Is it safe to get my head from under the blankets now, unlock the door and come out into the light of day again? I only asked "Is anyone there"? what seems a life-time ago, and this roller-coaster has been tearing along ever since. How many topics have been covered ........ and how many of them carried much sense??!! As I said earlier, you are all a mad lot and this has sure been a baptism of fire to my entry into the Forum Garden. I'll take a few deep breaths before I dive in again.

meltonpie wrote: Is it safe to get my head from under the blankets now, unlock the door and come out into the light of day again? I only asked "Is anyone there"? what seems a life-time ago, and this roller-coaster has been tearing along ever since. How many topics have been covered ........ and how many of them carried much sense??!! As I said earlier, you are all a mad lot and this has sure been a baptism of fire to my entry into the Forum Garden. I'll take a few deep breaths before I dive in again.


Pray tell me, kind sir, how goest thine delirium?

(I agree with Acc...you started a brilliant thread and it's wonderful the way you pop in once a day to see how it's going...do join in with us, it's your thread and it's great fun )

*passing a wet cloth for his forehead*

The delirium will pass quickly, in a millenia or two.....................

Hey Guys. I was thinking.. hic.. don't worry I don't do it often... (pam takes a delicate and ladylike swig from the champers bottle and gets bubbles up her nose) When was the last time we chucked a virgin into a volcano, to appease the maniacal new-moon wrath of FG deities Anastrophe and Tombstone???? BabyRider might be a bit hard to catch - but then it doesn't hafta be a girl.. I think Nomad looks pretty pure, but then meltonpie did come in here last... but he's a vet and there's a lot of animal avs here.. MMmmmmm... Hard call!! ..... Chonsi ...... come to Mammma!!!!

Naturally you were unsuitable yourself Snooze - I mean just look at the word under your av... it ends with 'tit' - not a pure word. I'd have offered too, for the greater good and all that, but my av screams 'scarlet woman'. Chonsi...... come to Mammmmmaaaaa !!!!!

See what I mean. Just look at these entries since my last one! I rest my case! (Wonder what's inside it - it aint half heavy).

AussiePam wrote: When was the last time we chucked a virgin into a volcano, to appease the maniacal new-moon wrath of FG deities Anastrophe and Tombstone???? BabyRider might be a bit hard to catch - but then it doesn't hafta be a girl..
Uhh...virgin? Even if you could catch me, I don't exactly fit the criteria. :yh_rotfl