feeling sad at the holiday season?

[lady cop]

for all the HO HO HO's, this can be a difficult time of year for some...memories and losses, nostalgia and hurts seem to be accentuated during this time. all the romanticized scenes of the perfect Christmas and perfect families and perfect everything can serve to point up what is missing through deaths or divorce or just plain loneliness...if you want to talk about it i am sure you will receive support here. and if you have ideas on getting through the season you could perhaps help someone else.

[lady cop]

i will admit to an annual depression, missing my deceased parents. we lived next door to each other for years in Mass., and had wonderful Christmases. this time of year those memories of them and when my kids were little haunt me. but i also know i was fortunate to have them.

[Peg]

Christmas isn't as fun now that my kids are teenagers. I think my son is feeling the same way. He has been talking a lot lately about how he can't wait until his nephew is old enough to make Christmas fun. He'll only be 6 1/2 months old this Christmas. He is looking forward to seeing his second cousin who is a year older.

The funny thing is, although my kids are 16 and 18, I know they'll have us up at 5am at the latest. I can see them as grown adults, calling us at some ungodly hour saying, "It's Christmas and we're on our way over".:wah:

Got to tell you this though. My grandmother was buried on Christmas Eve when I was 10 years old. I really respect my dad for the fact that he made Christmas Day just as normal as any other Christmas when you know his heart had to be breaking.

[observer1]

My 18-year-old daughter just said to me yesterday that Christmas isn't the same as it used to be. I said that's probably because my grandmother & aunt are now gone. Our entire family used to get together. Now that they've passed, it's just our immediate family. She said, no, it's just different. She & I both said at the same time that it's probably because she's older & it's not as magical anymore. But it'll only be a couple of years til my grandson, her son is old enough to make it magical again. Plus, she's expecting another little one in January.

Unfortunately, neither my daughter nor I can stand to stay at my mom's for too long, because my sister's family just "gets to us". Not trying to be mean, but there's always WAY too much commotion when they're anywhere. And they FIGHT!! Not to say that my daughter & I don't. But with them, since there's 5 of them, it seems to be constant. The kids are constantly doing stuff, then the dad yells at them, then my sister yells at him, & so on & so on.

But I do love the hustle & bustle of shopping. I just don't like the rude people on Black Friday. I guess I can be glad I'm working today.

[Lil~Basco]

This Holiday season is quite different from the past ones for me. With loosing my husband earlier in the year and trying to keep things on the upbeat for my son and grandson.

We all came together for the first Thanksgiving and bear hunting season without my husband. It was slow going at first, but I kept telling by boys that dad/grandpa wouldn't want them to be sad. That he was looking over us and would be with us every step of the way. My grandson had the honor of hunting with grandpa's 30-06 rifle this year which helped his spirit for hunting this year to awaken. He had part of grandpa in the woods with him and he was so proud!

I noticed during hunting how much my grandson would talk about grandpa and comment on how grandpa would track a bear this way, or look for signs that way. I smiled, while holding back the tears, that this boy had learned the fine hunting techniques that his grandpa instilled upon him. We did see a sow and her three cubs pass us one day, the next day a a sow and 2 cubs. We let them pass because even though it is legal to harvest cubs, we choose not to. After the three day hunt together, coming home empty handed didn't matter. We kept our family tradition alive, spending quality time in the field doing what we all loved.

Christmas is fastly approaching and I do believe this will be the hardest Holiday to get through for me. My son has invited me to their home for this holiday, but I declined since I have animals that can't be left unattended for too long. My son understands this, and I assured him that I would be just fine. Friends have all extended invitations to me and I to them.

Not only at the Holidays, but anytime of the year....be happy, keep hold of those special memories, cry and laugh a lot. It does help. We all go through hard times in our lives but life is for the living. Cherish want you have and those that are still around you. For that is where all your strength comes from to endure the ruff times!

Merry Christmas to you all! And I just wanted to add....I am so glad to have found this forum, for the laughter, friendships and a place to vent. Bless you all!

[chonsigirl]

Oh Lil, you story was so touching. It will be hard holiday season for you, but with your courage you will overcome it. With family and loved ones nearby, it will just be a different season, with happy memories of ones always in your heart.

I always get cranky at the holiday season, because my other home In L.A. is occupied by my two grown kids and the ex. (no comment on what a dufus I am for letting him live there) The whole family goes to party on in my place, the 2 kids here I send out to them. My mother, grandmother, brothers and sisters, the whole bunch have a great time. But I must have a part of the Grinch inside of me, everyone is parting at my house, and I'm not there!

[SOJOURNER]

My mother-in-law died on Christmas morning.

As a way of remembrance, I allowed each of my girls to pick out one item of their grandmothers jewlery to wear to the Christmas Eve service. This way we took Grandma to church with us and we knew Grandma was happy to have us all there that night.

[actionfigurestepho]

That's such a nice idea!

[ComfortablyNumb]

Yes, it's a sad time for my family as Mum and Dad died within 2 weeks of each other last year before and after Christmas. None of us feel like celebrating because they were the ones who were the hub of the family and we came from around the world every year just to see them and exchange presents.

We'll all celebrate at home in small family groups.

[actionfigurestepho]

I guess I'm just not into Christmas because it's so frantic. My mom's the office administrator for a church, we attend a DIFFERENT church, and instead of being able to sit back and enjoy the holidays we're constantly doing a live nativity, or a concert, or mailing 1000 special offering envelopes. And if it's not that, it's something else. My dad will be having back problems, or there's this year when my brother and I are supposed to go in for surgery before the holidays---it's just too high stress and too expensive for me. Too much to do in too little time. It becomes another thing to check off the "to do" list.

[minks]

Awww you know FG is a good place for you all to let out the saddness. I wish I could invite you all to spend christmas with my little family. I know as we become adults we see the glamour of chirstmas wear thin as reality sets in, the cost, the prep, the empty nest. I have my ups and downs with it too, I have fabulous memories both from my childhood and my daughters childhoods. I have the saddest memory of my first christmas without the ex. You see I grew up where christmas was a 3 day event as both my ex and myself have family all here in town so in order to see everyone we spread it all over from the 24th to the 26th. We had 5 birthdays that fell between Dec 20 and Jan 10. So for me this has always been "BIG". We separated August and that year I experienced the saddest christmas ever. I couldn't bring myself to spend christmas eve with my family it just fell right for my daughters and I do do it alone. We haulled up mattresses and set them up in front of the christmas tree, put in music from the CD my girls bought me for christmas and fell asleep together. It still makes me sad to think of that one christmas but, as time heals, they are improving again. My family are marvelous and this year we are pulling together again and making it another happy time. Anyone spending christmas alone, come on up to Canada, I have room for ya, and my family will welcome you with open arms :)hehehehehehehe

[actionfigurestepho]

In the interest of fairness, every Christmas I try to be thankful I'm not dating this psycho guy I dated all through high school and part of college.

Every year he'd plan out exactly what we would do for pretty much every day of the season, and he'd plan out exactly how it would go, and how we were going to dress. And every year when something would go wrong, or happen spontaneously, he'd throw a little childish temper tantrum. Like when the tree fell on me and then the cat climbed into it and peed on both myself AND the tree while I was pinned underneath, shrieking and laughing. I thought that was hilarious. And he just whined because apparently it was my fault that I'd "ruined" Christmas. And of course the day after...he'd sit moping in a chair and then pout because the "happy" holidays were over. I don't have to deal with THAT anymore. So Christmas can definately be good as it changes, too. I think this year I might try to focus on how I don't have to put up with a whiny child of a boyfriend now and I can enjoy it when the stew blows up or when my brother accidently sets the kitchen on fire.

[Bez]

ComfortablyNumb wrote: Yes, it's a sad time for my family as Mum and Dad died within 2 weeks of each other last year before and after Christmas. None of us feel like celebrating because they were the ones who were the hub of the family and we came from around the world every year just to see them and exchange presents.



We'll all celebrate at home in small family groups.


That's really sad for you and your family. The first Christmas, birthday, family event after the loss of loved ones is always the hardest.

We have no 'older generation' in our family now....in fact we ARE the older generation but the family is growing with a NEW generation and we have Boxing day as our special family day now.

I'm sure that next year you'll feel differently and start a family tradition of your own for your family to cherish...your Mum and Dad would love that I'm sure.

Good luck and warm wishes with whatever you do xxxxx :yh_flower

[along-for-the-ride]

I guess we all are still looking for the "magic" of Christmas that we felt as young children. Christmastime does bring back bittersweet memories of family long ago.

What we need to do is count our blessings and smile when we think of those memories.

I will pose this question to you all.....What can we do now to have a magical Christmas as an adult?

[observer1]

along-for-the-ride wrote: I guess we all are still looking for the "magic" of Christmas that we felt as young children. Christmastime does bring back bittersweet memories of family long ago.

What we need to do is count our blessings and smile when we think of those memories.

I will pose this question to you all.....What can we do now to have a magical Christmas as an adult?


Ya know, I kind of have the blahs about the holidays this year. But I know having my grandson will make it wonderful for me! He was born 2 days before Christmas last year. And now he's at a really fun age. I love him sooo much!! :-6