Rules of Chocolate

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Tue May 30, 2006 10:57 am

The Rules of Chocolate

* If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

* Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

* The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car.

The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

* Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

* A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

* If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

* If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract eachother?

* Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

* Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?

A. Because no one wants to quit.

* Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.

* Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

* Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

* If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

* If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue May 30, 2006 2:51 pm

Love em all:wah: :-6

nihilisticmadman · Post by **nihilisticmadman** » Tue May 30, 2006 2:56 pm

:wah: :wah: Nice...

JayDee · Post by **JayDee** » Tue May 30, 2006 2:56 pm

Very good- loved it!!

chocoholic · Post by **chocoholic** » Tue May 30, 2006 3:03 pm

How could I not get involved in this thread!

The 12 step Chocoholic Programme - never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!

Exercise is a dirty word, every time you say it wash your mouth out with chocolate

A balanced diet is a chocolate bar in each hand!

When no-one understand you, chocolate is there

There is nothing better than a good friend - except a good friend with chocolate

Chocolate doesn't make the world go around but it makes the trip worthwhile!

There is no Chocolates Anonymous because no-one wants to quit!

There are 4 basic food groups - Milk Choc; Dark Choc; White Choc & Truffles

If it ain't chocolate, it ain't breakfast!

Stress wouldn't be so hard if it was chocolate covered

Man cannot live by chocolate alone - but woman can!

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue May 30, 2006 3:06 pm

love the last one

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Tue May 30, 2006 6:16 pm

Marie5656 wrote:

* If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

They're Brilliant Marie! LOVED this one! :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

chocoholic · Post by **chocoholic** » Wed May 31, 2006 3:09 am

Found this one today -

I am a serious chocoholic.

For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex.

If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind.

If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate!

ice maiden · Post by **ice maiden** » Wed May 31, 2006 9:13 am

:wah: boy do i want a chocie bar now