Would you or wouldn't you?

[flyingspaghetti]

Just wondering - if you stumbled across a friend's sibling's "MySpace" and saw they were were looking into friendships/dating, would you try to communicate with them if they didn't know you personally? Why? Why not?

Here's a mini story: Last year I developed a crush on this guy, approached him, but I learned he wasn't into dating. We do maintain an "online only" friendship even if we live in the same city. All this time, I can see he is clearly not into dating or hanging out, so I respect that and will leave it at that.

I was then bored the other day and was surfing around for local guys in my city who are into dating. I am looking into dating, but something interesting happened - I came across one of his older brother's MySpace who is also interested in dating. I like some things in his profile where I would like to get to know him some more and ask him some questions.

The thing is that he is my friend's brother. I really don't want my friend to find out about this. I know his brothers' names and one or two facts about them but that's it. My friend doesn't know I found his brother's MySpace. In fact, I don't even think he knows his brother has a MySpace.

Sooooo.... what do I do? Should I just send his brother messages to communicate with him and see what happens from there? Then if something more happens, then how would I react once I see my friend? I think it would sound too tacky to say, "Oh, what a coincidence! So-and-so was your brother? Hey, friend!"

Would it feel "too weird"? I am more concerned about things developing more or even being friends and hanging out and then "running into" my friend at their family gatherings. I don't know what to say then....

What would you do in this situation? :-2

[Rapunzel]

Hiya flying spag, & welcome to FG. :-6



I would say "Go For It"! How can it hurt?

They say we regret what we DONT do, more than what we DO do - even when we make mistakes. I think this is very true.

So rather than have no one and wonder 'what if...?' just go for it.

The brother is probably as nice as your friend. Your friend might realise what he's missing! *winks* And you dont owe your friend anything in the romance stakes. Go out and enjoy yourself and have fun!

Then come back and tell us all about it! hehe

My romantic fun is limited to watching grown men stick their fingers up their nostrils and out one eye! Ewww!

[cherandbuster]

flyingspaghetti wrote: Should I just send his brother messages to communicate with him and see what happens from there?


Hey airborne pasta, welcome aboard:)

I say GO FOR IT!!!

Another of Cher's theories: Finding Mr. Right is a numbers game. Pure and simple. *Don't* pass up the opportunity to find out if this person is in the running.

Take a chance.

Who knows what could happen?:-4

[K.Snyder]

If this "friend" is the one who isnt in to dating, I say "you snooze you lose pal". Quite frankly Im confused as to why anyone wouldnt be in to dating. Do they even like girls?

[cherandbuster]

K.Snyder wrote: If this "friend" is the one who isnt in to dating, I say "you snooze you lose pal". Quite frankly Im confused as to why anyone wouldnt be in to dating. Do they even like girls?


Valid question.

What makes him 'not into' dating or even meeting you as a friend?

[flyingspaghetti]

Thank you all for your advice.

I have contacted him via MySpace, and he seems interested in writing me. We have written three messages back and forth. But, he stopped writing. This was since July 2nd...that was his last message to me. In the last email he mentioned about the separation he's going through with his wife because she fell in love with someone else.

He confided the story in me, and then he mentioned at the end of the message, "Well, enough of this sob story. I hope to hear from you again." I told him if he needed someone to listen, I would be there for him. But that was the last time I heard from him. Could he be busy dealing with the separation process?

I asked if he can add me to his Friends list, and he even has me as one of his top eight friends. But...why nothing in replies? I don't want to keep sending him messages, but I'd like to befriend him. I know that to make a friend is to be a friend, and that is what I am trying to do....

[Shweet tatersalad]

Number one,Welcome:

number two,this guy(the first one) does not sound like he wants a (real) relationship,seems too be enjoying the myspace experence,love and lust through the internet,Why is he seperated from his wife anyway.

Don't lose time on this game player,move on,Look into this brother,and make sure it's not him(the first guy).life is too short too waste time on anyone not wanting too move with you.

Go get it.................before some one else does.

[AdultSpace.com]

I sure would.